victoriagirl's Journal

The Fallout
Oct 14 2009 11:34

Ok post-Thanksgiving wrap-up in a nutshell:

Spent a lot of time driving and eating, a good time was had by all, great to see my relatives, I gained like 5 lbs but hopefully mostly water retention, back to normal life today.

I was supposed to get on the late ferry back to Vic last night but Joel's car broke down on the way there so I ended up having to get up at 4:30 this morning to take public transit to the 7 am sailing. Bussed straight to work and got here about 10. which is just so unfair considering I've been up since 4:30. Yikes. The good part is, I got to spend and extra night with Joel ,and I didn't bike to work today -  it's incredibly windy out there and I really really hate biking in wind. The bad part is, he had to pay for an expensive tow (something bad happenend to the rear axle so they had to send a flat-bed tow truck) and who knows how much the repair will be. His car is only 8 years old and a schmancy car to boot, so it's pretty crappy that it keeps breaking down, it's become this massive money pit.

Speaking of money....the shop called to say my boots are in. I ordered the ones I've been talking about endlessly. So I get t ogo try them today or tomorrow...I want to go today but I have luggage, might just do it anyway cuz I am excited to see if they fit. BUT. They are so out of my budget, it's not even funny. My sisters and mom want to go cross-border shopping the weekend after next...I will feel left out if I don't go, but I certainly can't buy $300 boots AND go shopping, so I am torn about the boots. I need them more than anything else, so I should get them if they actually do fit. Some good news though is that because no one is around for xmas (parents and sister in Palm Springs, my other sister, brother in law and nephew going to Ontario) we decided to only exchange presents with whoever we are with, so for me that means just Joel. WHEW. We will likely spend xmas with his family, so i can rest easy and know that whatever I spend on presents for them will be all I have to spend, and I am sure if we exchange anything it will be little. So I am slightly heartbroken about the idea of no xmas presents, for the first time ever, but also a little excited that I get to buy myself some presents instead ;).

 I added a pic to my gallery of me in the fabulous Thursday outfit, and also a new avatar pic, as you will notice...my face looks so much thinner than I picture myself! It's weird.

There were compliments from my relatives on my weightloss, but not like shock or anything. Hmph. Mostly just "you look so good!"s. And my cousin asked me at one point how I did it. But that's about it, pretty low-key. One awesome thing that happened though....I was going out for a wog (thanks moogie for cointing that term!) around the lake behind my cousin's house, and they were all "oh you can't go out in that, you'll freeze" and offered me a coat and stuff, which I refused, and then said well at least take Lindz's hoodie, which I did....and it fit. Zowie! Lindz is tall and slender and I am flattered that they even thought it would fit, and amazed that it actually did...and then when I got back they said "you must have been too hot, we didn't know you were going for a run" as they'd been watching from the window lol. It was actually perfect cuz I am a cold wimp...but funny I'd surprised them...my sister and mom came too but they went much slower. THe only one that kept up with me was the dog.

I look fabulous today
Oct 08 2009 10:15

Today I am wearing my new brown tights and my brown linen swing skirt that makes my tummy look flat ( which it's SO not, not even close, no way Jose, it's just an amazing illusion) and so I looked for a shorter top to wear with it and came up with a black and turquoise scoop-neck sweater I haven't even worn yet. Black and turquoise with brown, you ask? How is that even remotely an outfit, you ask? I dunno, it just works, I credit the shoes which are fabulous and brocade in blues, golds, silvery-grey and black and just tie it all together. I am so glad because I wasn't sure what to wear this sweater with cuz it's too short to wear with pants, and this skirt really cries out for a shorter top. The bad part is...I bought the shoes several years ago and they are now too big. They used to be too small, seems I went right past actually fitting. DAMMITTT!!!! So I am stepping around very carefully, feel a bit like a 5-year old wearing mommy's shoes...hopefully some thick insoles will solve the problem. Otherwise I will be very sad. This, right after the Fluevogs devastation of last week. I am losing all my good shoes.

The scale was also nice today...back down to 231.5. Go figure. I managed to keep my calories at 1737 yesterday, despite and evening desire for dessert, but fought it off and so I consider the morning weigh-in a reward ;). More likely I was just slightly up due to TTOTM and it dropped off. And I am sure it will return after the road trip/ Thanksgiving meal weekend. I should wear this skirt to TG dinner, it's darn tight around the abdomen, not much rooms for turkey and stuffing stuffing hehe!

Last night I had the most amazing dinner, it was deeeeelish. I had a huge pile of Brussels sprouts with an orange glaze, a baked pork chop and savory bread pudding with celery and onions and prunes. Oooohhh and it just hit me why I had bathroom issues last night LOL!! I am not someone who needs prunes in her diet. Anyway....the bread pudding was portion controlled (I only made one serving), and then I ate so many Brussels sprouts that I only ended up wanting half of the pork, which like never happens, I am a protein junkie....but they were just so darn yummy. And I added a couple spoonsfuls of the gravy Joel and I had made for our fancy pork roast last Valentine's, it's been sitting in the freezer for just such a meal, and made the otherwise plain pork chop special. Yum what a great dinner.

Tonight I plan to make falafels. I am going to bake them instead of fry them; an internet search showed me this has been done successfully. And I was so disappointed in the falafels from our usual shawarma place that we had a couple weeks ago, it was the first time I'd had one since I lived in Saudi Arabia and it was NOTHING like I remember. It was bready and bland and not at all the spicy, herby ball of goodness I remember. So we'll see how making it myself goes....maybe that's just how they taste.

ALso have t pack for the weekend. Apparently it's like  -10 C in Edmonton, and may be even colder through the mountains on our way there, brrr!! Gotta bundle up! I washed all my sweaters last night, so I am ready!

Sigh.
Oct 07 2009 09:14

Only Wednesday? Really?? Damn. This is shaping up to be a loooong week. I am actually looking forward to my weekend trip, driving 24 hours and all. I talked to my mom last night and she was so disappointed that Joel wasn't coming and won't meet my relatives...but jeez 4 people in a jeep is bad enough, 5 would be insanely squishy and for that long of a trip...well he's doing us all a favour by taking a pass. She doesn't see it that way. So she says "well then I guess he won't meet them until the big farm party next summer". It's the 107th anniverary of the farm in Saskatchewan so they are throwing a huge party, I'd love to go but it's certainly not a given. And even less of a given for Joel....he has 5 children that he needs to spend his $$ and holiday time on, I don't think she gets that. Well we will cross that bridge when we come to it, but I predict more disapproval and disappointment in the forecast lol.  

Weight is on hold...it popped back up to 233 and is sticking there. I've seen this effect before, where it goes down a bit and then back to a certain number, up a bit and back, down a bit and back, it's like a cork that keeps coming to the surface. Yep, I am referring to a DP. I can't even say it. BUT, the fact is my calories have been also stubbornly staying around 2000 average, which generally means I won't lose a thing. I still should, but I don't. I blame the years and years of messing with my metabolism. Could be worse. I KNOW that I need to get my calories down to around 1700 or 1800 to lose anything, but I've been unable to do so lately. Like UNABLE. Maybe that's what a plateau really is...your body demands the food it needs, it just doesn't want to let go of any weight right now. So I can try to force it by summoning up some freakin will power, which I know is a pretty shallow well in my case, or I can just ride it out and push my calories back down when it feels easier to do so. I hate the trying, and not making it, and being disappointed in myself and then going into a new week trying and failing again....it's really demoralizing. But oh, success is so sweet!! I think the only thing that keeps me trying sometimes is an addiction to the sweetness of success.

It's a new dawn, it's a new day
Oct 06 2009 11:11

I've been grumpy lately, mostly pms stuff and having to leave Joel every Sunday. It takes a toll. We had a great weekend together, travelled to see his son's hockey games, visited with his grampa, stayed at a no-tell motel and ate at a roadside diner, it was fun. But come Sunday night the fun is over and I have to face another week alone. Again. Pooooor me, woe is me, I'm gonna eat some worms.

Yesterday was painting class after work. I started up a new painting, it's a little too van Gogh starry night, well a lot actually, but looks nice and I am proud of it. My first painting, an abstract one, is still in progress too. I had an embarassing incident while discussing it with the instructor. I stayed late and he was giving me advice about how to paint with my emotions, he said think of a first kiss and how it makes you feel, how it's spontaneous and all-consuming and you think of nothing but being in the moment, etc etc...he just kept going on and ON about kissing...and while he was talking it occurred to me that he and I were alone in the studio, talking about kissing....cue my internal 13-yr-old awkward girl. I was then embarassed about being embarassed, and felt a blush coming on, and then thought OH GOD PLEASE NO BLUSHING so of course I blushed harder. It was all very embarassing. With any luck he didn't notice, or just thought it was cute LOL....geez I am 38 I didn't think I still had the ability to blush over silly stuff like that. My coworker told me I was blushing just talking about it lol...oh well.

Next weekend is our marathon drive to Edmonton for Thanksgiving with relatives I have not seen in two years. It's going to be hellish, a minimum 12 hour drive in my parent's little jeep, then one day there and then the 12 hour deive back. It's nuts...but it's the only way I get to see them, since I can't afford the money or time to see them otherwise. This way is cheap and just one day off work to do it. Too bad for Facebook, the impact of my weight loss/ change won't be as dramatic hehe. I do love being shocking. It will be so great to see everyone too, I miss them!

So now just trying to get through the rest of the week. I don't hardly get to see Joel on the weekend either as he's not coming, there's just not enough room :(. This is hard....but won't be forever. I know that. Yesterday was particularly hard, but today I am feeling marginally more positive, it was a lovely morning to bike and the day is going well and the future is a big shiny present waiting to be discovered.

It's the weekend-eve!
Sep 30 2009 10:51

I took Friday off as my flex day so my weekend is almost here, woo hoo! I have to remember to pack tonight, it seems to early to pack but yup it's time! Also have to do laundry, blech. And remeber to bring warmer clothes as we will be spending time in ice rinks. I tried on all my winter jackets/ coats and they are are looser than last year, which is nice. I am glad I bought everything on the tight side. I also went to wear a sweater today and it stinks. They all do...not sure why or like what, but everything is going to need a wash before wearing this year. Maybe the poison that the exterminator used did it. THe colder weather is definately setting in, so gotta get on that. The H&M fitted trench coat I bought a few months ago looks fab, I wore it to painting class on Monday. Makes my waist look tiny!

I reeeeally want the boots I talked about a couple weeks ago, despite their prohibitive price. I have not seen them in person yet, the store was supposed to call me when they came in but haven't. So I might stop by after work today, just to see if they are in. October is a three-paycheque month, which is great, except that the extra $$ is ALL already spoken for. I desperately need footwear though....my work shoes finally gave up the ghost. Generally I just have one pair of black shoes I keep at work so I don't have to haul other shoes back and forth in my backpack every day. So I really need to replace those too. Maybe with knee-high lace up boots?? In the meantime I am wearing my old Fluevog maryjanes. They are beautiful shoes, were quite expensive and are very well-made, but the square toe was always a bit too squishy if I wore them too long. Well. Now that there is less fat holding my foot in place, my toes slide right to the front and there's mucho squishiness. I am disappointed, I was hoping they'd get more comfy not less! I guess I will have to consign them or something.

I want to thank you all for being so supportive in my last post. It means a lot to me....I do get nervous sharing that kind of stuff. I should not be embarassed to have a dream, I know!

 Halloween is coming. Last year's zombie dress-up was so fun, we want to do it again this year, but have no similar event. There is a big parade the weekend before, Parade of Lost Souls, that is an annual event. I've never gone but always wanted to, it's like a big street party but with a Day of the Dead feel. Zombies are pefect there! So we are going to attend in costume. And the weekend before that, we are going to a play held in a castle here, every year around Halloween they have different ghoulish plays that are not on a stage you just kind of follow the actors around the castle. Sounds cool...this year they are doing Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde. I am looking forward to it! So that leaves actual Halloween weekend still open. I do so love Halloween! Hope something comes up!

I have a Dream.
Sep 29 2009 09:42

Is it only Tuesday, really?? Well I had to get on the scale and face the music this morning...I figured after a weekend of overeating, road food, too much sodium, and not enough water, I'd be looking at a grim number. Wasn't too bad considering...233. Back to same darn number it's been for a month, but if this is inflated due to the aforementioned bad choices, then I'll take it! Today and tomorrow will be model days and then hopefully for Oct 1 weigh-in I will be back down a bit.

I have a dream. (Yes a Speech is coming up). Ahem.

My dream is twofold, really...I want to write a cookbook that gives people delicious, gorgeous food ideas and shows them that you don't have to sacrifice taste or quality of your food to lose weight. You can still eat pizza and burgers and pasta and desserts, you don't have to cut anything out, just make a few modifications that actually end up tasting better than the more calorific versions. Eating a cleaner leaner diet is actually addictive....when I have weekends like the last one I just had, I am SO grateful to get home and get cooking for myself. Anyway I am not telling any of you anything new, because I have made it my business to surround myself with Smart Women, but it seems like there are a LOT of others out there who have false beliefs about diet and weight loss. Whenver I bring a dish to a party or work, no one can believe it's "good for you". I want to share the things I have learned about cooking and making healthier food choices and give people easy recipes to follow accompanied by gorgeous pictures to inspire and tempt. My favourite cookbooks always have a lot of lovely pictures.

The second part is, I want to open a small restaurant, more of a lunch-counter type place, where you can get delicious homemade soups and and sanwiches and salads, and maybe an entree or two (I imagine an "entree of the day" type thing) and know that it's all good quality food that does not contain a lot of chemicals, is made fresh, and has all the nutritional info provided so those who want it have it readily available and can make good choices for themselves. I LOVE it when places have the nutritional info provided, it makes me very happy, and I wish more places had it. Many fast food chains provide it online, but very few local restaurants do, so why can't there be a place that's NOT fast food yuckiness but still gives that to you? I did discover the Pita Pit and Extremem Pita, which both provide all the info on a big sign, yay! And I was really happy when I discovered that the soup place up the street also provided the info if you knew where to look...but they closed down :(. And frankly their soups sucked, I could do way better. Basically I want to cook my wonderful recipes from the aforementioned cookbook for the world. Imagine going to a place where they have these amazing, delectable desserts, but you figure you should avoid them as you are watching your calories,  and then you find out that a slice of, say, Peanutbutter Fudge Pie is under 200 calories. I'd crap my pants. Well not really but you know what I mean. It would be awesome, and I can DO that!

So I am just putting that out there, into the Universe. Or at least the CC universe. I've been talking about it for a while now, but mostly only to my family and Joel, as I am always nervous about sharing my dreams and seeming silly or unrealistic, especially that...but maybe it's time to just let it out there. Also I've started a food blog, yes there are 10 billion food blogs out there but maybe ya'll will follow mine anyway. I haven't gotten very far with it yet, still have to get batteries for my camera so I can post pictures of the recipes. But when it's ready I hope some people might find it worth checking out. I'd contacted a couple of publishers a while back and they told me that unless you are a celeb, or have a tv cooking show, or are an accomplished chef, or have an increbibly unique angle, you will not get a cookbook published. And apparently delicious healthy low-cal food is NOT unique, even coming from someone who's lost over 100 lbs so far. It would probably have more impact if I were an ideal weight/ shape, so in preparation of that time, I figure a food blog is a good start, a la Julie and Julia. Who knows eh.

I had my painting class last night. I am not very good. I think I was hoping for it all to come naturally and be brilliant right away. In reality, I think it will take more than just 6 classes to get me to a point where I can create something I am proud of. But, at least I am learning some stuff about how acrylic paint behaves and what you can do to it/ add to it to get different effects. So that's good.

I have to ask for Friday off, well really just to switch my flex day from Monday to Friday, so I can go with Joel to his son's hockey games next weekend, as his team is playing close to Van (well actually still 5 hours away but that's as close as they get). Hopefully that works out, I'd like to go with him.

Monday Monday...and a Rant to go with
Sep 28 2009 11:59

Yucky ole Monday.

I had a pretty good weekend, ended up staying over in Van until this morning and came to work late. Joel and I had his daughter in for the weekend, and took her home yesterday.

On Saturday we went to the zoo with my sister and my nephew. It should have been a lovely outing and a good time, but things went a bit sideways. My sister and I got into an argument which kind of put a pall on things. I felt terrible about it, so tried to go along with my sister's usual "Nothing happened everything is fine la la la" attitude, but I am not very good at that...in fact I had really instigated the fight because I wanted to clear the air instead of suffering the passive-aggressive jibes coming my way. It all started with the lion feeding show...well that's not true, she was already in high-stress fake-cheer mode from the beginning, I have no idea why. She's usually pretty tightly wound but Saturday was worse for some reason. Anyhoo we were settled to watch the lion feeding show, it had just started and my nephew was already bored...he's started out sitting with my sister up front, but came a row back to sit with me, but didn't want to sit he wanted to leave. He's three, so attention span a little short. No big deal...I took him out of the crowd and we wandered over to the next exhibit, looked at some mini pigs until I heard the show ending and we went back over. Well they were all gone. I was standing there wondering what to do when the show ended, and the crowd started dispersing and flooded the path with people, bike-mobiles and strollers, and my nephew was freaked out (he's not keen on crowds or loud noises to start with). So we walked straight up the path, still didn't see them, walked straight back down back to lion area, all despite my nephew's protests, but stayed calm...I mean it's a zoo, how far could they go. When we got back to lion area, J and his daughter were there....apparently when my sister noticed us missing, she insisted they all leave to go look for us instead of just finishing watching the show, and panic ensued when she couldn't find us, and she'd gone back to the entrance to see if we were in the bathrooms and then to the gate. SIGH. And so J called her on his cell when we showed up and she was in line for mini-train tickets and asked him if she should buy them, to whch he said yes. But that wasn't good enough, she asked to talk to me. So what I got was a panicked SHOULD I BUY TRAIN TICKETS and I asked how much they were, how long until next departure etc and she said THERE"S A LOT OF PEOPLE BEHIND ME JUST TELL ME YES OR NO so I said no. To which she got angry and hung up on me mid-sentence. Aaaanyway to make a longer story a bit shorter, when we hooked back up and sat down for lunch she was making comments like "Oh better ask Sherylyn she's in charge" and "Well the train was the ONE thing N. wanted to do, we'll have to be careful not to mention it so he'll forget" and stuff like that. How the F was I supposed to know that. I was forced to decide something that she had much more info about at the time, but she has issues with making decisions on her own, and yet at the same time is pretty bossy and controlling, it's a weird combo and I have NO patience for it. So when I called her on it, she blew up and said "YOU DISAPPEARED!!" which was of course the real issue, and it made no sense, if she'd just have stayed put until the end of the show - we are talking like 10 minutes - everything would have been fine. Gah.

 I had promised a few weeks ago when we got into a fight to try and have more patience with her when she says/ does something to annoy me, but I broke that promise and it makes me feel bad because I know she is not doing it on purpose, she's just a little short on common sense and logic sometimes. Joel says he recommended they stay at the lion area, as I knew where they were but they didn't know where I was so that was the sensible thing to do, but she insisted on going to look for us and created this big panic for herself. He says he didn't push the matter cuz she seemed pretty wound up at that point lol. So what ended up happening was a panic, an argument, and a lot of tense pretend-cheerfulness that made everyone uncomfortable for the rest of the day. I was SO mad I didn't eat lunch and snacked myself to death later. Poor Joel's daughter came to me later and said "Just so you know, we (her and her dad) are not mad at you" because I'd been yelling at my sister that it's not fair for her to ask me to make a decision (on limited into and under pressure) and then get mad at me for giving her one. Boy did I feel crappy.

On Sunday we went shopping for a bit....Joel's daughter ,who is 11, is really quite scared of the "big city" and a bit of a drama queen to boot. So she was acting all clingy and frightened and wanting to walk between Joel and I every moment to "protect her purse". Geez. We were trying to convince her that the West End is perfectly safe and she had nothing to fear, and then just our luck we witness an attempted pickpocket/ tussle on the sidewalkright in front us, it was quite the scene with screaming and fighting and much ado. A crowd gathered, Joel stepped in a long with a bunch of other onlookers, police were called, it was crazy...I was ready to step in as well but then was reminded that a child was there and stepped back with her, omg she was terrified and of course we didn't hear the end of it for the rest of the day. GEEZ. Now she'll never believe Vancouver is safe lol...when we passed her off to her mom she was still upset and not feeling well and pretty much a mess. That's just great.

So we did the 8-hour round trip to drop her, and then I stayed over night. My mom called in the morning to find out what time we'd be by for Sunday dinner, as I'd forgotten to tell her we couldn't make it again...bleh. I am not winning any awards for Daughter or Sister of the Year this week.

Road food is always disastrous, not looking forward to the Scale.

Painting class tonight. I am not in the mood, hopefully will be by later!

Yay for the weekend!
Sep 25 2009 11:48

Looks like a kid weekend - Joel's daughter is coming but it might be a very short visit. Not sure of her and her mom's travel plans yet. I hate not having a set plan. She'll either go back with her mom Sautrday morning, or Joel will drive her home Sunday (about 9 hours round-trip) which means I'd have to find my own way to the ferry...and from Monday's experience, I reeeeally don't want to do that. So we'll see.  

I've committed to taking my nephew to the zoo with my other sister tomorrow, should be fun, hopefully we can get him past the train and the playground at the entrance!!

Weight was 231 this morning. Whew! All the extra lbs fell off when my muscles stopped hurting, and when I cut back the sodium count, as usual, but I was unsure if it would go all the way back to 230...looks like it might! I just have to have a reasonable weekend, calorie-wise, and I should be able to get there for Monday.

I saw a recipe on Tastespotting for these cool cucumber rolls, well actually a hollowed-out cuccumber that is stuffed then sliced. Looks like a sushi roll, but without any seaweed or rice, perfect! (Joel hates the seaweed). The original recipe was for "mock tuna" stuffing made of ground up sprouted sunflower seeds, but I think I will do more of a california roll-type filling and use crab (or imitation crab), avacado, and maybe some carrot or green onion, and wasabi mayo. And toasted sesame seeds on the outside. I am excited! I just hope I can find some big ole cukes to hollow out.

I am glad the weekend is almost here, even if it's a bit up in the air!

And yay for lunchtime! I am starvin Marvin.

Should I buy the shirt? UDATE: I bought the shirt!
Sep 24 2009 09:50

Today's bike ride was uneventful. So far so good!

I had a meeting with my boss yesterday, to which I was supposed to bring some results but had very little to show since I was unable to access the software I needed for more than two hours. Heh. So right then and there she came up with a solution that enabled me to get the software on my own workstation, funny how easy it can be once results are on the line!

I am obsessing over a lovely fitted satin shirt I tried on when I was shopping on Monday. It was SO pretty and came in all these gorgeous jewel tones that look so good on me like emerald green and sapphire blue...I really want one and they were inexpensive, but I didn't get one because the XL was too small. I am thinking about getting one anyway, it will fit eventually. It's a classic button-down design so will not be out of style next year or anything....and I do love having goal clothes. Funny if I think about it...just a few weeks ago I was noting that everything in my wardrobe now fits, as I shrunk into the only too-small pants I had left (well except for my black skinny jeans from 1990 that are my ultimate goal clothes lol), and shortly after that I ran out and bought a jacket from H&M that's a little too small and now I want this shirt. Heh.

Weight is getting back down, 233 this morning...I know I was over-sodiuming and that in addition to the muscle repair was causing water retention, I am just on pins and needles waiting to see if it goes back down to 230 like it did last week, or if it will stay stuck on 233, where it's been for most of the last four weeks. I chose tuna for today's lunch sandwich instead of ham as I am trying to de-sodiumify. I am reeeeally hoping to push through to the 220s soon. I had a feeling when my last plateau broke that I would get stuck again in the 220s so I was hoping to just blast through the 230s and get there, and likely stay there for a while....so much for blasting. I really want to see the 220s dammit!! Calories are good so far this week...not perfect but good...so yeah I hope to see something good by Monday.

Not sure about weekend plan yet....either Joel's daughter is coming to Van and he'll hang out with her while I go to the zoo with my nephew and sister (or they might come too if she's interested), or Joel will come here and we'll hit the music festival going on. Just waiting to see if his daughter's mom goes through with travel plans..kid weekend or music weekend, we'll see!

Is it a full moon or what?
Sep 23 2009 12:38

When I was biking home from work yesterday, a scruffy-looking street person stepped off the curb against the light. Had I been a car, I'd have flattened him...instead we partially collided. I didn't attempt to brake or swerve, no time, I mean he stepped out RIGHT in front of me! He wasn't even looking my way, he wasn't looking for traffic at all, I saw the back of his head and that's it. All  I could do was power through it though I must have swerved a little because instead of a head-on collision he just kind of glanced off my side. I kept on through the intersection, running on adrenaline, I heard commotion behind me, the guy yelling and whatnot, I have no idea if I knocked him down I just kept going. I HOPE I knocked him down/ knocked some sense into him. Dumbass. And I was extremely irritated that a. he got his gross BO smell on me and b. what a nerve to be yelling curses after ME, when he was the one that caused the accident!? So that was Stupid Crazy Street Person Incident #1. Oh yes there's more.

This morning, as I was exiting my parking garage on my bike, another street person comes around the corner of my building and we came thisclose to colliding. He had all his empty bags and was heading for the garbage/ recycling bins in the fenced bin-area behind my building. And was cursing me out as he went. I saw RED. Yesterday's incident, combined with the fact that there is STILL a big pile of dog/ possibly human poo outside the bike room, and that last week I saw a dirty needle by the garbage bins, and that there is often a mess from street people pulling stuff out of the bins and not putting it back, all just pushed me into the Red Zone so instead of biking away I turned around and followed him to the bin area. I asked if he was a resident (no) and then told him to leave as the area was for residents only. He was all agitated and was yelling and cursing and calling me names but I just kept saying over and over that we are instructed to call the police if non-residents are in the garbage bin area so he had to leave or I'd call the police. He was really belligerent and angry and mean, but he did grab up his bags and go. During the incident, a lady from my building came to put her garbage in and boy did she scurry out fast lol. My heart was just pounding....maybe it wasn't the smartest of moves but I was just so FED UP. So that was Stupid Crazy Street Person Incident #2. In a way I feel victorious - a couple of years ago I never would have had the courage for that kind of confrontation, I'd be too afraid of insults (he did call me a "fat puke" - SIGH - even after all the weight I have lost it's still the first thing they reach for - but it didn't really affect me, so that's new). But now, look out!! Everyone better stay out of my way today, I am a tiger!

Also I may have been a bit pre-irritated by the scale as well. Today it said something quite evil. 236!!! WTF. That's insane. Just 5 days ago I was hovering around 230. I'd been stuck at 233.5 for several weeks before that, so seeing 236, which I haven't seen for a couple of months now, is beyond the pale. Gah.

And work is aggravating too, I have a big project I am working on but I need certain software to do the analysis, and because I work for the govt we only have one computer between the five of us in my dept that has this software installed. And another guy needs it this week too, so he went and booked ALL the time for the week. I should have booked earlier, but how rude of him to book the whole week when he knows I need it too. So I got him to give me an hour a day. Oh man do I hate begging for scraps. I want to punch him in the leg. So I booke time for next week, and DIDN"T book 100% of the time just mornings, because I won't be so rude as him though I should, then make him come beg ME for scraps. Bastard.

Whew that's a lot of angst!! Other than those things, everything is a-ok LOL. I am quite pleased with myself actually. Cuz I am a tiger. ROWR!