wandaleggins's Journal

I know I'm not overweight (5'1" @ 124.4lbs), but I still see the big girl of 2002 when I weighed 212 lbs.  I hate when my friends look at me with disgust because they don't understand that simply because I've lost weight doesn't mean I've lost the mentality of the girl I used to be. Don't get me wrong, I know I'm not as big as I used to be and I know I'm healthier, but occasionally I still see the other person and that makes me crazy...I do still want to loose a few more pounds (more for a fluctuation cushion than anything else) but what I really need is to find a way to see myself as I truly am and not as I feel I am...know what I mean? I look at myself in the mirror sometimes and see that I really look amazing; stomach is flat, boobs are still pointing up and look well in my tops and my behind looks relatively good.Considering my health issues, I really have no reason to feel the way I do, but the other girl does show up from time to time and I allow her to make me feel bad and insecure.  I'm working on that, though.  Hopefully one day soon she'll leave and I'm have a healthy self-image.