weightconsious's Journal

Stop till exams gone..
Oct 10 2009 10:15

perhaps my counselor is right..No one can help me but myself..If i don't want to change, no one can help..kinda depressing..sigh..but she's right and so is my pal, Rach who said that I shouldn't bother about my weight now..We got plenty of time to bother about it after SPM which is a major exams which is going to determine my future..

I guess everyone is right..

Right now, my goal is eat healthy and study hard..

I need help, seriously..Please help me out of this cycle.
Oct 09 2009 10:06

i'm so sick of myself..eat and eat none stop..I went to a friend's house yesterday and she took an hour to finish a bowl of noodles and i REALLY REALLY wish i can be like her (and no,she's not an anorexic)..

Initially, i had lose 8 kg from 60kg in almost 3 years and now, i gained more than i have lose.. An alarming amount of 11kg in just 6-7 months..Totally upset and lose all my interest in studies which is totally BAD cause i had major exams in 1 months.

I need help and advice..Been to counselling but its not much help..I don't know what to do..Help me someone..anyone?

binge in
Sep 17 2009 21:21

darn it!binge in again!

I had

30 pieces of hotdog

2 cups large ice cream

1 peanut butterx2tbsp sandwiches

4 oranges

10 pickled onions

3 SNICKERS bar

sigh..Home is where I  SHOULD NOT be at..

mcdonald new worker..haha
Sep 16 2009 18:56

just finished my second training day at McDonald..4 hours of standing is around 500kcals and I don't have to go gym..haha..I get one meal free there..

I want to challenge myself..See if i can lose weight in 1 week of working there.I only work for a week, 6 days to be exact..

p,s : its pretty funn

Love Janet Winokur!!!!
Sep 13 2009 12:07

I LOVE MARISSA JANET WINOKUR IN BEAUTIFUL GIRL(2003)

especially the last song , not sure but it has something like , "I'm a beautiful girl!!"

Calorie Diary
Sep 11 2009 15:15

3.30 pm - Snickers..

I binge in 12000 calories yesterday so i'm not hungry at all..

Calorie Diary
Sep 11 2009 15:15

3.30 pm - Snickers..

I binge in 12000 calories yesterday so i'm not hungry at all..

RE: NEW
Aug 24 2009 17:41

ok..this sucks!!!I'm 60kg now! 3 kg extra from when I first started! THAT's IT!Its the ultimatum!! I WANT TO LOSE WEIGHT !!!!Lose till 52 kg at least! NO MORE NIGHT BINGE, no more senseless eating!!!

I CAN DO IT!!!!

Scary dreams lead to scary thoughts
Aug 15 2009 17:48

I had a very scary dreams the day before and i didn't even watch SCARY shows..

the dreams started off with a man and a woman arguing with a dwarf-like man/their son (not sure). Then the man got angry and beat the dwarf up.

Then a teenager came back. He saw his cat sleeping and grabbed some cat food from the kitchen.Then he poured it into his cat's bowl.The cat didn't move so he thought it was probably too tired. As he stand up, he saw the door leading to his parents room was left ajar, so he peek in. He giggle when he saw his parent, most probably naked under the blanket. Then, he saw the splattered of blood everywhere and when he walked in, he saw his mother's face was full of blood when she sits up (woken up by the door, i assume). He then looked around and saw the bathroom door was left open. So, he went in and saw a bloody bundle on the sink. He lifted the bundle and he recoiled when a very small HUMAN head fell off. Then , his father's eerie laughter was heard and I WOKE UP!

I really scared. And before THIS dream, i had another one.

I was in my house, getting out of my room in the middle of the night for a drink when I heard sounds coming from outside the sliding door.  At first I ignored it, but it keeps on continuing , so I slowly walked to the switch and turned on the light. The light's on and I saw a man standing outside. I shouted as loud as i could but no sound came out. Then, for some weird reason, I remember reading in a book (in real life) that when someone was scared, there are chances that they might lost their voices. SO, I bang and throw things, breaking them with the intention of waking up my mum but she didn't wake up. So, i banged on her door, hoping for her to come out. But she didn't. When i realize that she won't come out, I WOKE UP, scared, swung my leg off the couch and knocked down a glass jar and a glass cup.

Then, the real life mum woke up and she didn't even ask if i was okay..sigh..

Then, when I went to school, these dreams keeps on swirling in my brain. and i had a thought.. Would anyone save me when I am in trouble?

Starting all over again
Aug 07 2009 12:57

I'm starting again my diet today..I have been letting myself go and gained all the weight I loss the last two years in 5 months time..I haven't weight myself for a few weeks but the last time i weigh in was 57 kg..However I been binging in alot and my friends commented that I gained weight (and one extremely rude guy who said it in front of the class). I'm really upset..I been a pescetarian for 9 months now but I thought of going back normal again..what do you think?

My goal is of course 50 kg like before but if can't, I still wished to be 52kg (second lowest weight after puberty)..I'd try to keep my calories under 1500 calories per day..

Please wish me luck..Thank You