weightconsious's Journal

Low calories,but still gain
Jul 24 2009 06:06

suck it! Low calories = weight gain? why i even try eating low calories..My waist inch increases 3"..damn it..perhaps those jellies isn't as innocent/low calories as it said it is..man!!!

how did i gain when i been eating lo-cal?
Jul 11 2009 10:41

arg!!!How did I gain 2 more kg by eating lesser than before?!!!JESUS!!!!man,i'm so sad..but i want to ask first before i go kill myself,AGAIN..

how much water can one retain when one been eating at least one packet of instant noodles(with msg) in?

how much one expect to gain on the SECOND day of TTOM?

I already start eating 1200-1500 calories on most day, at least 5 days a week..2000 calories once a week and except today (got a birthday party for friend at night time so i guess its 3000 cals since i already had 1700cals..Usually i eat  breakfast a real biggie cause i have no time for lunch..), usually on saturday its also 2000 calories..so, how did i gain?

A physical fight with mum
Jul 04 2009 13:16

i got into a fight with my mum..its the BIGGEST fight we ever had before.. Physically and mentally..I was crying till my eyes(or the lid) looks weird and it still hurts until today..I think my mum also cried cause her eyes also looked weird..

so, it practically happened like this..

My tuition finished at 6.05 pm but since i have walked about 5k under the sun from my home to the tuition centre, i don't feel like doing walking anymore..so i went to cyber cafe to watch online dramas. Then at 8.30pm, she called me and said 30 more minutes before she finish working..So 30minutes more i spent in Cyber but then after I waited outside like 5 minutes, she said 10 more minutes..

BUT... thats NOT what caused the argument..

You see, there's this Malay boy who is my friend..He finished tuition at 9pm and wanted to go to cyber too since someone paid him 250 to help them lvl up their characters in online game..But he is nice and think its dangerous for a girl to sit outside alone so he stayed with me.. When my mum asked me who is he, i told  her he's a friend and he stayed with me cause its dark..then, the DUMBEST me trying to strike a conversation with her, told her how when she late, she actually caused the boy his time at cyber cafe..and then she started saying he's a bad guy and i can't mingle with him anymore..Then i got mad and said he's a school friend and he's a nice guy..

Then my mum said, "nice guy? Huh! I'm warning you not to go to those place anymore..Somemore knowing guys like him, working at cyber.."

Its funny now i think about it..My mum used to said she watched us grows up and knows us pretty well..If so, and i been constantly telling her and she stills forgot..

"I DON"T TALK WITH STRANGERS!!!!"

hell, i don't even talk much with my schoolmate other than a few in my class and some of their siblings..

Then at home, she started slapping me and hitting me trying to make me talk but i refused to talk to her anymore..Its because i talk, the fight begins..What's the point of talking..Then she started yelling, "Whats the use of me working hard for you guys!!You never appreciate me!!" something like that..

I still won't talk..When she slapped me, I caught her hands and stopped her but she kept shouting and yelling and scolding..I have no more energy to deal with her and so, i let her hit me all she wants..And hell, i love the hitting..Its better than doing nothing..and then, she ORDERED me to take my bath after the fight..Hello?!We just fought!!!

So, of course, as stubborn as me(inherited from HER), i refused and stand there hugging my tuition/school bag.. SHE RIPPED IT OFF FROM ME!! and i can't do anything to hard since she's OLD!~

I'd have go bathing an hour earlier if only she give me back my backpack..but no, she said I'm not going to get it back if i don't listen to her.. So, one hour sitting on the floor, crying and stop, crying and stop..then went into my room, and started slapping myself and banging my head..Then SHE came in and pulled my brand new cool t-shirt..Too avoid the crazy woman tearing it up, i gave up and took my bath with my clothes on..Then after i changed, i sit in front of the fan with the highest power on..and at night, i slept with a knife next to me cause I was thinking about suiciding but I'm kinda afraid..

Even this morning, I ignored her completely..I went to tuition with my purse and my bank account in case she's going to shoo me out of the house..I swear, if my useless brother was at home, I'd have gone right out and never go back..

I was only afraid she might suicide..Seriously, we are related you know?

I'm freakingsly over-stuffed--XD
Jun 23 2009 16:13

oh crap..I'm damn full..I had 2 packet of Instant Tang Hoon(mung bean vermecilli) and 1 packet of sunflower seeds(45g) and 1 packet (cooked, about 1250 ml of water) of jelly, orange flavoured... All together (according to the packet nutritional info) is 800 calories... MY STOMACH IS DAMN FULL AND UNCOMFORTABLE..lol..but i'm not sad..before this. after having 1500 calories worth of bread I'm still hungry, now I can be full with 200 calories of jelly though I often eat more than full because I can only be convinced that i'm full after my stomach doubles up in size..

Am i crazy?

Low Calories find out..
Jun 13 2009 23:36

i haven't binge in for at least 4 days and i'm happy with it..though my big night eating is still a problem but i don't really think much of it cause i usually eat very little breakfast and lunch..not much appetite in the morning i think..anyway,i found out KONNYAKKU JELLY is a very LOW calories food/dessert(200 calories per package) that fill me up.. I make at least 2 batch a day and eat a lot of it before i have anything else cause i fill me up REAL REAL REAL good!!!

Just letting u guys know..oh ya.btw,its a healthy dessert..at least thats what the package write..

sad..they mention i'm fat
Jun 10 2009 19:10

i went to my aunt wedding last week and a few of my family members mentioned/hinted/said that i gained weight liao and keep on saying things that i'm fat..i'm so sad that when i wear the dress( i RARELY wear dresses) that i cried and they thought its because my mum don't want me to go back to my hometown with them.

Jeez..i guess I really gain lots of weight and fats..sigh..

p/s : the picture now was taken almost 4 months ago.. now , i got extra 6.6 pounds and 2 inches on my waist..bollocks!

Binge in again..darn
May 23 2009 21:43

binge in again today..sometimes i just feel like taking the knife and..sighed..

tonight for dinner i had,

2 canned creamed corn, 1 canned baked beans, 1 mango,2 banana, 7 bread, 5 tbsp pb and 1/2 can tuna in water..

darn it!!

HOly sh@t!!!!I GAIN in at back??!!!
May 22 2009 23:02

57???!!!!57???????????!!!!!!!!!!!!

57???????!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm dead...DEAD i'm telling you!!!!!

I"M SUCH A DEAD SHATTING IDIOT WHO SCREW UP SO BADLY THAT EVERYONE LAUGHES AT HER LOW WILL....ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

starting all over again..
May 16 2009 10:49

starting all over again..I want to reach 52kg by end of June..If I did it once then I can do it again!!GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Having a relapse..cry..
May 05 2009 17:39

if it is..

sigh..i binge in again..after all these days..I binge and then make myself purge..a thing i havent done for months..

Its only 5.40 pm and I had 7000cals..I binge 5000cals since the last hours, mostly on white bread and chocolates ice cream..I felt so bad and useless that I make myself purge..While I purge, I cry too..

I shouldn't have come back home..I should have stay outdoors..why do i come home? Why am i such an idiot...