wglover420's Journal

Habitual Food Horder

Dec 12 2008 14:08

I would really like to know if anyone else here has had issues with "sneaking" food? I know I'm not alone, but dang, it feels like it sometimes....

***Here's my story****

I started "sneaking" food when I was in a crappy relationship. I just finished high school and was at my healthiest weight ever. Now that i look back, i assume i did it because i was unhappy with the way things were going with him and life in general. Anyway, I did it constantly. Every waking moment, it seemed like, i was planning what i was going to put in my mouth next. I would eat king size candy bars on the way to and from work, stop and get my "fast food" dinner, then go to my bf's house and have dinner with his family. it was like a bad drug/alcohol addiction. I would eat next to nothing when i was around people, except for close family, and then when i was alone, thats when i would attack the nearest store or eatery.

The "sneaking" got better when i met my now husband. I got down to 198 and was THRILLED....dum dum dummmmm....then i was informed the my sis was doing a second tour in iraq and i had to keep her then 4yr old son.......

long story short....it got VERY bad while i had my nephew, and as for now...it's mellowed out again....

My question is, besides getting things straightened out in my life, how have you guys that suffered from it dealt with it?....

PS....I finally got the courage to tell my hubby about it, and he was almost in tears because i was so embarrassed i started crying...he's sooo supportive

One more baby step down...

Dec 12 2008 13:57

GOOOO MEEEE!!!
I enrolled in the local ATC Fitness Center yesterday and did my first "semi" workout...oh and did i mention....i did it ALL BY MYSELF!!! No family or friends with me. I am way proud of myself. Now, i just need to work on actually doing more while i'm there. i started off slow because, although i used to be very active, i really haven't done much of anything as far as exercise wise. I walked at a 2.0 +/- .2 for a whole hour. The gym is neat. each piece of equipment has its own tv monitor so we can watch as we work...but i opted to listen to my ipod. for the most part, the time just flew by, but i'm really eager to get going with it, and start "raisin my bp"

As for everything else, i've slacked terribly on my food log, but it's okay though, because i know, without looking it up, that i am eating better. I made myself a HUGE home-made salad for breakfast yesterday. IT WAS DELISH!!! Kinda weird for breakfast, but hey, it did the trick

I'm still here...!

Dec 03 2008 12:08

Alright guys,

I'm still here, hanging on. Odd note...I couldn't wait until i could log the food i ate today on the calorie meter. Thats unusal for me...lol...but a good unusual. My goal is to track everything that i eat for a week and then look back on it to see exactly what i need to do. Also, i am gonna us my "journal" to not only update and vent, but to log all the things that i dislike about what i've done in my life. Don't get me wrong, i regret nothing that i've ever done. I was never a "bad child", i always cleaned my room, and went to school. I'm talking about the things that i have done since i have hit rock bottom, with my weight, jobs, friends and family, and life in general. There is quite a bit that i am really embarrased to admitt, so to who ever is reading this, please do not judge me on what you read. Luckily, I am no longer that person.....

For the first one...I am soooo tired of the clothes i wear. I LIVE in pullover hoodies and jeans.. I think that by wearing a pullover, it hides my weight....WRONG....it makes things worse. My clothes are usually a size/ size and a half too small because when i go clothes shopping...which is rare... it's hard to find things that fit everywhere...I have LONG legs and a short waist...oh thats LARGE...so..i buy 18L in walmart jeans...yeah they fit SNUGGG, but they are actually long enough. When I was at my biggest weight, (beware of following content...kinda gross) I had the dreaded "camel-toe" The only thing is, is that it was my gut hanging down, not other "areas". Since i've lost 15ish pounds, it's not nearly as bad, but still...i cringe when i think of how i would have that, and didn't really care. I was so fed up with caring about myself, that i just gave up... We've all been there once or twice, and it's not a nice place to be. I quite putting on makeup, doing my hair, or even changing clothes. I would where the same thing alllll weekend... well i would change my undies and socks. I hated going out in public because, i finally realized, i was the fat girl everyone makes fun of.

OH, AND BY THE WAY...heavy people are treated differently....or atleast they are where i'm from...the look at you like your trailer trash or something. it's horrible... one day they will learn that heavy people are just like thin people. We all bleed red, and we all breath air. No different, but yet we are the people catching the brunt of jokes....What about all the celebs? The look like bags of bones...literally...?

Day 1 of the rest of my life

Dec 01 2008 15:35

Hello World,

I'm not sure exactly why I have decided to make a public profile to track my weight loss, but I feel good about it. I know I have horrible eating habits, and I do not exercise nearly enough. I guess I am wanting opinions and support from people that don't know me. It's easy for family and friends to give a quick "good job," or "do you really need that?" My family and friends are very supportive about my weight gain and loss. I haven't always been this heavy, but that's almost every heavy persons story. I joined the millitary in 11th grade, and was an athletic 175lbs. Six yrs later, I am 100 pounds heavier. I actually lost 15ish pounds before i created this profile. GO ME!!! Anyway, enough about me. Hopefully I will achieve my weight goals, and make a few friends in the process. Thanks in advance for all the help!!!

Wendy