Ok, so this has to be it
Nov 23 2009 01:32
This is a my most recent post and I think, like it says, it's a huge step for me. I'm going to try hard, because I owe it to myself and I deserve it.
Hey everyone,
Wow, this feels like a big step for me...I never really thought about myself as having an "eating disorder" but I definitely know that I have an unhealthy relationship with food. I've tried almost every diet and read just about everything there is to know about diet and weight loss (starting since I was about 13 when I started getting self concious) and I still do all the wrong and most unhealthy things. The worst is when I wait till everyone is out of the house or at least not paying attention to me, and then I eat EVERYTHING. I eat and eat and eat until I feel sick, but I won't let myself throw up because that feels even worse to me, so then for the whole next week I'm preoccupied with trying ot lose weight from all the extra calories I've consumed, then I get all stressed out because I'm NOT losing weight and so I eat...get the picture?
Well anyway I recently (about a year ago) lost some weight and was eating really well and just in a really good place in my life, and then I went away to college and broke up with my girlfriend and things just got out of control and thats where I am now. I feel like I have no control over my happiness and not control over my body and its not a good feeling. I'm trying, really trying hard to work on this and to get myself back into a good place, but I realized that I can't do it by myself. I just want to talk to people who might understand what I'm going through.
I recently wieghed myself and I'm about 200lb, which is about 70lb over weight. So in the midst of getting control of my relationship with food and over my emotional eating I really do need to lose weight, but how can I do that without falling back into the cycle?
My unhealthy relationship with food has begun to effect other aspects of my life, including my school work, so i figure that there really is no time to lose.
If anyone else is looking for a buddy to talk to, or to lose weight with, or to complain to, or to share fun stories with...I could sure use one. My name is Myrtie and I'm 19, currently in college, and in need of some support.
Thanks for your time everyone.
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