Chelle 42 yr old Pagan Witch, mom of 4, living in the MidWest
willowraven's Journal
::waves::Feb 11 2007 11:33
I miss everyone!! I've been sick - still - and I am so embarrassed that I haven't really been following my food plan, or doing my waters, or even been to the gym in about 2 weeks. Been getting over being sick -- not sure what I have (the head cold is pretty much gone, still dealing with the chest congestion and been headachy, dizzy and lethargic lately). Not sure if I have a 'bug' or bad bout of depression. Spent about 90% of yesterday in bed, most of that time asleep. I just feel so wasted, physically and emotionally....like I got run over by a truck or something. I haven't had much of an appetite, and what I have eaten has not really been overly nutritious. I did step on the scale this AM and found I haven't gained anything. (In fact, I lost about 1/2 a lb.) I feel so bad, embarrassed, like a total sloth. I know I need to get back in the swing of things. I need motivation and don't know where to find it. (I know, I know - inside myself... part of the problem, I guess.) The stress I mentioned a few weeks back ended up going on for another week and half after that as I discovered it didn't end when I thought, and had to deal with it all over again for 2 more weekends after that. Maybe *that's* why I'm feeling so wasted? Who knows. I know I'll feel better when I know for sure, for certain, that that particular stress is gone and out of our lives FOR GOOD.
Wes went to his disability hearing, and it seemed to go well. Both he and the lawyer felt positive about it. He could hear in as little as 2 weeks, or as much as 3 months. I am really hoping for the less amount of time, as it could really help! We had a snafu with the food stamps - almost got them denied on a review, still unsure as it is up to my new case worker's supervisor who won't be in til Tuesday. My case worker doesn't seem to think there will be a problem. I hope she's right. And it's all because I started that darn Avon! I told Wes that if it becomes too much of a problem, then I'll quit it because I'm not making enough to jeopardize the $150+ in food stamps that feeds the family. I'm lucky if I make $15 a month on Avon - and most to all of that goes back into supplies, catalogs, website cost, etc. It isn't worth it.
Took my son to his neuro appt on the 6th - same as before. Diagnosis of "severe migraines". She took him off one of the medications as she didn't think it was doing much good, and gave him refills on 2 of the others. We go back in 6 months. Although I understand he has migraines, I wish we were able to determine what's triggering them, instead of just treating them after the fact. We have tried seeing if certain foods, or things, are bringing them on and so far, nothing. We looked into food allergies - nothing. I feel so helpless, not being able to help him stop them from the get-go. On a scale of 1-10, his days average around a 4 or 5. He never has a day that is a 0 or 1. He has had some days that are so severe that he has given them a 15! He takes Relpax for the 'severe' ones, and Midrin for the mild to moderate ones. The Relpax knocks him OUT for 8 hours or more, and he will wake up about as pain-free as he is going to be (about a 2 or 3).
Anyways, going for now - will try to be around more. I am going to try and figure out how to get back on track. I do want to lose the weight, for the same reasons. I just need to get out of this 'funk' I've fallen in to.
::hugs:: and love to you all!!
Wes went to his disability hearing, and it seemed to go well. Both he and the lawyer felt positive about it. He could hear in as little as 2 weeks, or as much as 3 months. I am really hoping for the less amount of time, as it could really help! We had a snafu with the food stamps - almost got them denied on a review, still unsure as it is up to my new case worker's supervisor who won't be in til Tuesday. My case worker doesn't seem to think there will be a problem. I hope she's right. And it's all because I started that darn Avon! I told Wes that if it becomes too much of a problem, then I'll quit it because I'm not making enough to jeopardize the $150+ in food stamps that feeds the family. I'm lucky if I make $15 a month on Avon - and most to all of that goes back into supplies, catalogs, website cost, etc. It isn't worth it.
Took my son to his neuro appt on the 6th - same as before. Diagnosis of "severe migraines". She took him off one of the medications as she didn't think it was doing much good, and gave him refills on 2 of the others. We go back in 6 months. Although I understand he has migraines, I wish we were able to determine what's triggering them, instead of just treating them after the fact. We have tried seeing if certain foods, or things, are bringing them on and so far, nothing. We looked into food allergies - nothing. I feel so helpless, not being able to help him stop them from the get-go. On a scale of 1-10, his days average around a 4 or 5. He never has a day that is a 0 or 1. He has had some days that are so severe that he has given them a 15! He takes Relpax for the 'severe' ones, and Midrin for the mild to moderate ones. The Relpax knocks him OUT for 8 hours or more, and he will wake up about as pain-free as he is going to be (about a 2 or 3).
Anyways, going for now - will try to be around more. I am going to try and figure out how to get back on track. I do want to lose the weight, for the same reasons. I just need to get out of this 'funk' I've fallen in to.
::hugs:: and love to you all!!
happy your feeling a bit better.. just remember, no time like the present to get back on the wagon! Your poor son.. he sounds just like me when I was younger. no real diagnosis just pills to keep em undercontrol.. I may have said this before, but acupuncture is great! well, if you have a health plan to cover it. I dont anymore and really wish I could go and get it done again... .:hugs:. you can get out of this funk.. dont let yourslef say no.. ignore all the little voices that give you reasons not to.. just listen to that little voice in the corner whispering "you can do this!" |
My greatest pains in life occurred from two factors. The loss of someone close. A good friendship should be painful when a person passes away. The other is from pain forcing me to change and grow. You need for food stamps is understandable, but I think with the energy you have, the creativity you have, you can find a way to make ten times more than that. Pandajen obtained her trainers certificate and is using the weight loss program and change to make a living for herself. You too could be an inspriational person by making the change and finding a way to help others and get paid for it. (Sorry for the big run on sentence) Anyway, like you I am having work pain, that is difficult to deal with, but I must stay the course or make big changes. Either way, I do the foot work and God takes care of the results in my life. Have a great day, Im off to work out with my wife. M |
<<hugs>> I been worried about you, haven't seen you at all in forums. Aw hunny, it's a nasty nasty flu bug you got, I had it a couple weeks ago. And yes, depression is part of it, I didn't get out of bed for 3 days. It took me 2 weeks to get back up to my daily food allotment much less exercise. Be kind to yourself, give your body as much time as it needs to heal. Lotsa water and juices to keep your fluids up. Don't freak about exercising or motivation or all that other crap. You need to nurse yourself, pamper yourself back to health, just like you look after and love Wes and your son. Sending you get well vibes. |
(((HUGGS))) I am going to send you some of my homemade soup over the net. It sounds like you need someone to take care of you for a while. I started with migraines at an young age. My great grandmother and my mother suffered from them as well. I hope the drugs are working. Sometimes migraines can be set off by a combination of things. It might be to foods that react with each other or it could be a dander allergy plus a food allergy. Have you tried logging his habits as well as the food? |
Thank you so much for the homemade soup - I love it!! :D I hadn't thought of it (the headaches) being a combination of things, to be honest, however his habits are pretty regular. His foods are pretty basic as well (he eats a lot of ramen noodles, lol - typical of teenagers..) We thought maybe it was cheese, and a few other things - all ended up not being it. We thought maybe he wasn't getting enough sleep, or that his schedule was erratic, so we made sure he was getting enough, and on a regular schedule -- still didn't seem to make a difference. Tonite he went to bed right after eating dinner (homemade chicken & dumplings) - after taken some meds because his headache was really bad. |
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