Chelle 42 yr old Pagan Witch, mom of 4, living in the MidWest
willowraven's Journal
Feel HopelessJun 23 2007 17:34
Despite trying to eat right, drink the amount of waters I am suppose to drink, follow the nutritionists advice, etc etc, I have not lost any additional weight since about February or March. I have been bouncing around the same 5-7 pounds since then. I did my measurements today (first since April 27th) and I gained inches everywhere, even though I have not gained any 'real' weight since then. I tossed the tape measure on the bed and was ready to just give up, totally disgusted. I haven't lost any weight OR inches in months. My doctor's are actually advocating the lap band surgery for me, and I am hesitant because of the whole 'going under the knife' aspect, but honestly, I'm at the thought of 'how much longer....?' I am so unhappy and feel like I'm barely existing, and I'm tired of living like this. I hate myself, my life and pretty much everything about it, and I am feeling numb inside, like I used to feel, and I am starting to be afraid. I don't want to spiral back to what I was, but it seems like what I want to be (thinner, healthier, attractive) is such an unrealistic goal, and I don't want to feel that way. All the stresses from the last several months have taken their toll, and I am really not sure if I can get back to the "me" I was before all the stresses got insurmountable (about the end of January). I can pinpoint, with fairly decent accuracy, the event(s) that changed it around, and I have done all that I can to work around it, through it, over it, under it - you name it. I even tried giving myself the pep talk that my daughter and I had that started this whole thing last September and even THAT isn't helping. I'll have a few awesome days, and then, even if I know I'm doing what I am suppose to, the scale, and the tape measure and all that says I'm not. It's very defeating.
What is wrong with me? Why can't I get motivated? I can help everyone else, and mean it with genuine sincerity. Why can't I help me?
What is wrong with me? Why can't I get motivated? I can help everyone else, and mean it with genuine sincerity. Why can't I help me?
a {{{friend}}} recently shared this with me... i found it helpful when i was feeling blue... just the thought that i'm not the only one ~ i share this journey with someone else who is compassionate, empathetic, willing to be involved, to answer other people's posts with insight and encouragement.... today, take care of yourself. the road can be winding, long and slow... but, seem i remember my {{{friend}}} saying she's lost 35 lbs??? well, maybe a little more??? *yay* you CAN do this Chelle. You are important and worth the battle, and we can walk it together. I'm not willing to try the knife either, and the end seems unbearable. We need to continue to focus on the process; eat less than we burn, choose as nutritious of foods as we can... water till we swim in it and then go swimming! how's the gym coming? Are you noticing improvements? Stronger and more stamina? More energy for the day? Do you have a new spring in your step? you've been doing gr8, but i know the *i don't wanna's* or the *this feels impossible* hits me at least every 2 mos... and that's because we have a long way to go. This will take a few years, but we CAN do this.... hang in! {{{hugs~n~luvs}}} |
...skids back in... i never did thank u for the link.... i was interrupted and didn't get back to say how much it helped... {{{hugs}}} |
Hi Chelle. I've seen many others in exactly the same state of mind as you have described, and it's a normal part of the process. The plain fact is that you have a lot of weight to lose, and if you look at it from a short-term mentality, it's easy to be overwhelmed and feel despair. However, I think you need to focus on what you HAVE accomplished. Like Jules wrote above: Focus on the pounds you have shed and on the improvements in your life (are you generally feeling healthier? Eating better? Exercising more? Has your strength or stamina improved?) The weight loss will not be the result of a superhuman effort on your part or a prolonged state of self-denial... Your weight loss will be a side effect of a shift towards a lifelong change in the way you approach food and exercise. Your weight loss will be a side effect of a lifestyle shift that you are engaging in right now. You have been doing it, small step by small step, and I know you can do it! *hugs* Feel free to private message me whenever you want and I can talk to you some more. *hugs* |
Hang in there, as said above concentrate on your improvements. You have lost allot of weight and maintaining is much better than gaining. I understand where you're coming from having also plateaued for around 6 months. Jeff |
Don't give up, Don't throw in the towel. As you know I felt just like you did yesterday and you were there to pick me back up and help me keep on moving. I have not been plateauing quite as long as you have, but your encouraging words helped me take a step back and be grateful for the progress I had already made. Try to do the same. The emotions are hard to deal with sometimes, but the results are there. You have lost weight and you will loose weight again |
you WILL lose the weight I have been stuck for over a month also and many go threw it. It WILL come off. Just try and have patience!!! |
Everyone has already said all the things I would have said. So, all I can give you is a hug. *HUG* |
Hugs, hugs and more hugs. We can do this babe. one way or another... we can, and we will. Your perserverence is commendable! |
{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}} I've felt that way, exactly, too... I wonder if what you're going thru is similar to what's been going on with me. I have a lot of hormones that are out of whack and the doctor I'm seeing is trying to get them back to normal functioning. The Fat Resistance Diet by Leo Galland explains how this vicious cycle gets started and how it can really difficult to stop. Essentially, he's talking about leptin resistance caused by chronic inflammation. If you read back in my J, I've put a bunch of info about it in there. No matter how discouraged I get, no matter how tired I am of worrying about it and of trying and having to start all over... I know if I give up I'll only feel worse - and I know I don't want that. We're here for you.... |
Thank you everyone - for your kind words, support and friendship. I'm not giving up, and I'm still hanging in there. Guess it didn't help that the day after I posted in the journal, TTOM arrived (ugh), so I'm sure the bloating and the hormones and such from that wasn't helping. I'm heading out to the gym in a few minutes - hoping that helps me feel better too. Hadn't gone in the last week or so due to people - including me - have been sick. Will see you all when I return. ::hugs:: |
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