x17star17x's Journal

OOPH! GYM - BREAKFAST = GOODBYE
Sep 25 2009 07:56

Well that was a dumb idea.

I didn't make it down to the gym last night, simply because I was depressed. I'm on this up and down roller coaster of emotions. This whole "life isn't so bad" vs "OMG my life sucks and I just want to cry" whrillwind has been exhausting. Leaves me with the I don't wanna's, especially at night.

My eating has been out of control. Not oober over my maintenance calories bad, but I want to CHEW. Chewing has always helped with stress, and gum doesn't cut it. It has to be a chew/swallow type of activity to really sooth. It's embedded within me. So many handfuls of cocoa puffs and cereal have happened, along with several bowls of ice cream. It just makes me feel better I guess. And I can't freakn drink, so it's all I have. Anyways, yea, I didn't make it to the gym last night.

So this morning I'm like FINE! Fed up. Internet wasn't working anyway so i geared up, grabbed my book, and to the elliptical I went. Bad idea. Super bad idea. I almost fell off :( It came on all of a sudden I just felt HOT and super dizzy, and everything went black. I had to take off my tshirt (i had a cammi under) and lay on the weight bench to find my barrings again. Eff! I'll have to make it back down there later today, but I'll have to eat something and drink plenty of water before then. Heh. I'm not used to working out in the mornings.

Last night Ezra did manage to get me out of the house to take my mind off my bum fest. We went to sports athority and I bought some fancy (dang way too expensive but comfortable) roller blades, wrist guards and knee pads! I tried on every pair of roller blades they had. I almost gave up when I decided to try on the most expensive pair. 160 freakn bucks. All the other blades were pinching at my ankles and SOOO uncomfortable. I was even trying on the guys, and some were smashing the sides of my feet. I have wide feet... so I always go for the guys shoes when purchasing. Anyway, I found me some rollerblades that were super cushioned and supported my foot in all the right spots. I'll have to buy more comfy socks, but these are my new babies. I skated down the isles, and I have some major brushing up to do before I hit the trails. If I hit a rock, I'm going to eat it HARD. There's a lot of up and downs on the trail behind my apartment (it goes for 27 miles) so I'm sure it will be a good workout. Fun fun! 2 of my friends skate, so I'll find someone to join me.

Well I guess I'll get up and make my frosting for my cupcakes. I went with banana cupcakes and cream cheese frosting, but I had a bite last night and they're not tempting AT all. However, Ezra's a sucker for non frosted cupcakes and muffins. I'm more of a chocolate cupcake fan. Regardless :) Cake class tonight!