x17star17x's Journal
I repaired that pesky wagon wheel. No more falling
off!Nov 01 2009 10:31
What's to say? Not a whole lot. I'm embarrassed at myself. Frustrated with myself. I've been living in a big baggy sweater so my fat won't show, but I can feel it sitting there right on my gut. It's so GROSS. I'm not used to feeling this heavy. Not comfortable at all. I want it off of me. So it's time I get on the bandwagon and get rid off the weight, once again.
It's been a changing time for me.. in many many ways. I'm only working 2 days a week at a job I dislike a TON, and I feel so strapped for cash it's causing me to become depressed. This whole drinking and binging thing HAS to stop. No.. it IS stopping. I'm stopping it. Right here.
I feel... trapped. Like I'm on restriction and I can't do anything. I want to buy things :) At least my walks keep me a bit on the happier side. God I need walking shoes tho. You should see my poor feet, but I keep on truckin.
Oh and my cake classes are life. I love that class. I love the people, the instructor. It gives me a challenge. Cake class is done until Nov 13th. I'm on to course 3 which is wedding cakes w. fondant and fondant flowers. OH! And lace work. I'm so excited its not even funny. I don't have the money to really be taking the class... I'll have to buy fondant, and new cake pans, and more tips, sugar and crisco galore for the frosting, different fillings. It's not a cheap hobby, but it's all I have. It's the only thing making me want to get up in the morning. How sad is that? :) Cake is awesome. Cake is Art. Glad I'm burnt out on eating it...
Here's a picture of my latest creation. It took me a month to complete all those flowers, and it will be devoured in 30 minutes once I take it to work.
Welp I best hop in the shower. They make me feel better. Then for a walk to somewhere. Maybe Michael's for a new cake pan or something. See, there, that thought made me smile. I need to smile more.
Your cake is amazing! I like making and decorating cakes but I stick to my kids birthday cakes, they aren't that good and they get eaten before too may people see them! |
Wow, you have real talent at making cakes! Do not feel bad, sometimes things are really tough and I know having a low self esteem makes these times even harder. This is not the right time to diet from my experience. In all the personal time you have, do things which you enjoy. Like taking walks and baking cakes and taking babble baths :) |
Fantastic looking cake! It looks like you've tapped into some real talent there. I don't think you should feel bad taking those classes, even when money is tight; you never know when something like that might turn into a job, not a hobby. Looking good! |
OMG that is gorgeous! You are in the wrong career...find a culinary program at your local college and get your butt into it. See if you can intern (not high pay but it gets better) in a kitchen or a bakery. |
I agree with smwhipple -- definitely this is YOUR forte --- AND you enjoy it!!! You are very talented - not many people have the patience nor knack of being able to do it ...even with a class. Wishing you success at finding a job in this field:)) By the way have you ever thought of advertising ...will bake cakes? |
the cake is gorgeous. the idea about advertising "will bake cakes" is an awesome one. I have lived in rural areas most of my life,( where there are no" bakeries except at walmart, or local grocer.. haha. )we always had one or two people that loved baking cakes, and usually had taken courses or self taught and would bake all the cakes for everyone.. for a fee of course. It was always usually cheaper than even the grocery stores, but they didn't have the over head, of a building or a bussiness, and got paid cash.( basically they were doing it for their friends and their friends were giving them donations. My wedding cake was made by a friend of a friend. it was 5 layers, would feed 150 and was as beautiful as any cake I have ever seen. she even went and bought the heart shaped pans just for me( because she said she would use them again.) start putting the word of mouth out there with friends and networking. you could pick up alot of extra money doing cakes on the side and maybe work into a program or something somewhere. at least it would give you extra money now while you are strapped. |
BTW, take it to a homeless shelter or someplace, I hate the thought of your awful job getting that lovely cake! |
I'm happy to see you're getting back on the bandwagon. Let me know if I can help you like you helped me get back on that bandwagon! maybe another 7 lbs loss rate this month? |
it looks great. |
Wow! I'm super impressed! I agree with everyone else who has said you're in the wrong career field. Where are you taking this class? Community college or a store? I've considered taking baking/decorating classes at my community college but was always hesitant. I think you may have just inspired me! |
I feel you on the strapped for cash thing. It is so very stressful and depressing. Especially when you have a child to take care of too. I also want to buy things (retail therapy) always makes me feel better but I can't justify doing that now when that would only make the problem worse. Your cake is amazingly beautiful! I agree with the others, you have a real talent with your baking/decorating! If you could find a way to work that in as your career I think you would do great! I'm glad that you have continued to walk despite being upset, I need to do that, I've just been eating Halloween candy...yikes..that won't help things at all! |
OMG - That is beautiful! You can't beat yourself up... things can only get better, right? Put on a happy face and face the day with a positive attitude and smile. BTW, thank you so very much for the discs. I have not been able to do one yet,,, but I will. Thank you ;-) |
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