x17star17x's Journal

mmm crunchy crunchy apple
Jun 26 2009 13:08

Today isn't so bad.. It's Friday! There's a few gray clouds in the sky, but it's only sprinkled a little bit. When we let go half the company, I took one of the seats that overlooks the freeway. I can peak through a few trees. When I get stressed, just looking at the beautiful weather and hearing the cars rush by eases me. I grew up near a freeway. Rushing cars are like the sound of the waves crashing on the ocean to me.

One of my co-workers is leaving here. It's her last day. Everyone is out eating a BBQ lunch at a roadhouse, but I decided to stay back. I like Lauren, and I'll be seeing them during happy hour after work. I don't need to double stuff my face.

The scale was up this morning. I got anxiety because I made home made cinnamon rolls last night. Baked them this morning and they were still warm and gooy when I got to work. Yes yes, I bake. And I love it, but sometimes I wanna try a bite too! So I had a piece, and it was DELICIOUS. But it was just a round from the outside of one of the rolls. Not the entire thing. I got enough to satisfy tho.

I sit here now with a big ol salad. My salad is loaded! I went to sunflower market and thought to myself "Veggies! Salad week! It's too hot outside to turn on the oven, or even eat hot food" and I bought TONS. In my salad I have lettuce, red cabbage, ALFALFA SPROUTS! (hard to find these days), green beans, carrots, cucumber, and cabbage (oh and turkey too). All topped off with a light balsalmic. mmm. But my apple is the real sealer. I love a cold sweet juicy apple on a hot summer day.

I don't have much planned this weekend. I HAVE to see "My sisters keeper", I know that much. Read the book. LOVED LOVED it. I know that the movie won't be just as good, but I know I'll definately cry. It's the same director that did the notebook! I cried for that one.

Ezra and I planned on making a balsalmic apple walnut feta salad tonight with chicken, and then watching some movies. I have that new mouse movie The Tale of Despereaux, and Phoebe in Wonderland. I'm more interested in Phoebe than the mouse movie, but that's okay. Gotta love adventurous mice.

Then tomorrow I might try to make a whole wheat delicious pizza crust and cook up some pizza's. The scale is up, but I'm not going to let it get to me. I can't let 1.7 pounds above my "ideal" goal weight get to my head. I didn't work out all week... but starting tomorrow it's back to the gym. My body needed the rest. I've been doing 5 days a week since January.

I have taken note of some things while not working out a week. It just gets worse as it goes on too:

1. HUNGRY. Freakn starving all the time.

2. Easily annoyed. Irritable as heck.

3. Sleepy. I've been sleeping at 9pm

4. Cravings increased

5. Bloated.

6. Digestive system not working right. I'm not "regular" anymore

7. Sluggish.

Lots of things seem to happen in the body when you stop working it out. Not a good feeling. It motivated me to switch my routine too. 40 minutes cardio, 20 minutes weights. I was doing 60-70 minutes cardio and that's pretty much it unless I wanted to work my abs a bit. I was just burning fat, or my food, and not really my upper body. My legs tho? Still rocks ;)

Best get back to work. I have a giant report (and a giant salad) to finish!

HAPPY FRIDAY!

Dinner dinner dinner dinner
Jun 12 2009 11:40

Friday and i'm so indescisive what I want for dinner. I want to eat at home, but what's to cook?

This week we've had beef broccoli, pitas with teziki sauce & salad, and green bean chicken.. and who knows what else. I can't think right now :) Friday stole my brain.

I have 2 ears of corn at home, left over teziki sauce, lavash bread, cheese (mmm cheese), pepperoni, ground beef, chicken breasts and chicken tenderloins (not thawed), ummm.. wheat bread, apples, deli meat, salad (iceburg/red cabbage), hrmmm... I've been so involved in baking stuff that I forgot to restock my fridge. That's normally what Friday fridge looks like anyway. I normally eat out on Friday. But then again I went through a period being away from CC where I binge drank 3 nights a week, which lead to binge drinkin. With this cake decorating I'm finally focused on a hobby which totally helps my 'wants'... I'm far from perfect.

2 more hours until I go work out. Woo elliptical and treadmill here I come!

5 more hours until I go HOME

6 more hours until I GET home. Kinda happy about my commute because I'm on my last audio book CD of Second Chance by Jodi Picolt. LOVE Jodi Picolt books.

Then I go practice my skills on cake decorating...

Ah I just wanna go home and relax.

We netflixed 2 movies that I'm not so much interested in watching. But since I'm such a nutcase lately, I figured Ezra could pick the flicks. You should know that kid puts up with a lot of my bullshit. Like yesterday for instance.

Story goes:

I was in the kitchen icing my cake and Ezra was in the shower. The air conditioning came on and my frosting started to stiffen up. Mind you, I have to frost this cake FLAT. And if you rub a spatula across hardening frosting you just get this clumpy mess of awful. So I started screaming HELP HELP SHUT OFF THE AIR! HURRY! Ezra jumped out of the shower all worried, and I was in a tizzy, and I told him SHUT OFF THE AIRRRRRRRRRRR! so he did. Then got back in the shower. If he did that to me, I'd be pissed :)

How does that kid put up with me? Hahahaha. I need to be nice.

Ah. Caffeine is awesome.

I don't know if I'm back in CC for good, or if I'm just dabbling to see if I can handle it. Not trying to get involved in the forums. Not trying to rain on anyones parade here. Just lookin for friends and support.

So what are all of you havin for dinner?

UPDATE: Just what i'm up to
Jun 08 2009 12:43

Ah dear dear calorie count. How I have missed you so! Am I back? No, but I wanted to let all my long time dieting buddies on here know what's up with me lately. How I'm doing. That whole thing.

===Life & Work===

Life is good. I still have my job even after all those layoffs that happened last week. Still at the same company doing the same thing. There's just less people here now.

Still living with my love Ezra. Gawd I love that kid. I'm learning so many things about myself just being with him. I'm sure it's the same thing on his end. Wedding bells are near, I can hear the chime in the distance. We've talked ringssss :) :) :) and buying a house!, but he hasn't proposed nor is he ready for such a large commitment. We are going to be signing another year lease at the apartment we're in tho.

As for Ezra's job.. he's still working for the city, and is rolling with the motions instead of hating every day of it. Yay for that stress to be over.

===My New Founded Hobby===

The biggest change for me was taking up CAKE! Okay not just cake, but baking and candy making. I love it. LOVE LOVE LOVE it. I forget who said it, but "Life is too short to eat bad food". For me, that is vowing never to eat a pre made cookie again. I vow to never eat a slice of costco cake again. Nasty. It's cake home made with love, small slices of heaven, that get me through my day.

So far I've made: Caramel, marshmallow, nougat, brittle, home made candy bars, graham crackers, cupcakes!, cake, cookies of ALL kinds.

It's funny.. my mom finds it funny as well. Headlines read: Girl loses 175 pounds and takes up baking. I kinda get butterflies in my stomach, but I think this is where my life is headed. I might just open up a bakery someday.

Right now I have dedicated a month of my life with cake decorating classes. Wilton puts a class together and provides their instructor. This is NOT a cheap hobby, and I had to fight with myself and my wallet to allow me to spend money on cake pans, parchment bags, frosting tips, spatulas, piping gel, meringue powder, powdered sugar, crisco, oil, butter, eggs, a STAND MIXER (not cheap), the classes itself, all the supplies. The supplies are endless. But it totally makes me happy. Eats up a TON of my time. But it's truly my passion.

Now if only I could let go of that cake sitting on my counter top right now waiting to be properly frosted, I would be more productive at work :)

^^Home Made Graham Crackers^^

====On The Weight Front===

I have been keeping my weigh ins to twice a week. Only friday's number counts, and if it's not perfect then that is quite alright. I'm still allowed to enjoy my nights out, a few drinks.. etc. But all in all, my weight is pretty steady. No problems with THAT part of my life.

I've been working out 4-5 times a week. Some days more than others its hard to get down to that gym. But I DO it, and it gets done. I've been trying to run the treadmill more often.. but that was until my hamstring was pulling funny. My 6 month goal is to be able to run 5K with Ezra when he goes for a run.

= So that's about it :) Off to go read what you've all been up to.

You spin my head right round right round, when you go down down
Apr 05 2009 08:42

I just want you to know that I miss you all and I hope I'm not forgotten.

Loves.

{{gigantic HUGS}} <-- I know we all need those come Monday.

I'll check in soon enough. I'm coming a ways within myself. Life's hard to comes to terms with.

:) :( Love & Sadness make the world go round

Goodbye CC world. I will miss you all.
Mar 19 2009 08:29

===Journal Closed Until Further Notice===

Dude! Worst Before Pic Ever!
Feb 20 2009 18:00

Dude! Can you believe that was me? My mom sent me a bunch of before pics, and I think this one takes the cake. No pun. Lordie I was fluffy <3

Just wanted to share my OMG moment here
Feb 15 2009 04:10

There was a thread started in the motivation forum talking about everyones OMG moments. I just thought I'd share mine with you all :)

Growing up everyone thought that I looked like my mom because we were both pretty heavy. Chubby cheeks, thick in the middle, twins if I might add. After I lost 175 pounds, I knew I looked very different, but it wasn't until I saw my dad that I had an "OMG! I LOOK LIKE MY DAD!" moment. I never knew we had such similar features under my chubby cheeks. It was almost creepy :)

Can you believe?
Jan 31 2009 17:18

Can you believe this was me?

And this was me?

And a mass this large?

And this is me now?

Did I ever thing that some day I'd be able to curl up as small as this?

Or cross my legs like this?

I still find it all so weird.