x17star17x's Journal

Happy 2 years to me!
Jul 09 2008 08:18

Ah back down to 122. We're getting there. I told ya I'm like a camel. I soak up tons of water when I over eat on the weekends. Alcohol especially.

Alright gotta get back to work.  Big brother is watching.

PS: Today, July 9th, marks my 2 years of calorie counting. <3 awww.

Blood test update!
Jul 07 2008 17:26

Good news.

My white blood cell counts are on an uptrend.

They went from 115 to 118 to 121. Seems to be a 3 count increase each month. A normal count is 130+. So even though they're not normal normal, they're going up. The doc says she crosses her fingers they continue to go up and that it's just some virus my body is trying to fight that is causing the low counts. I have to go back to get blood drawn in 1 month.

Pheww.

Let's get healthy!

Already looking forward to Friday.
Jul 07 2008 07:01

Are you SURE it's Monday? I really don't want to go into work. Can you believe that my work only provides you with 1 sick day every 6 months that doesn't roll over even if you don't use it? So you can get sick for 1 day and that's that. I find it funny. I find a lot of things at my work funny.

The long weekend is over and it wasn't too bad. I have 7 pounds to lose this week, but I allowed that. It's okay. I just hope they dont weigh me at the doctor again. I REALLY hate being weighed at 4pm. The scale is always 5-7 pounds even higher than the morning number. Unfair ;) Even though I know it's inaccurate, it still bugs me to see my weight in the 130s.

I got a lot of shopping done this weekend. Lots of snacks, veggies, and fruits. mmm. Bringing popcorn back in the houseeee! I also bought some pitas so I can make some bbq pita pizzas. I found a reduced calorie Kraft bbq sauce that I figured I'd try that is 20cals a tablespoon. Nothing beats KC masterpiece tho. mmm. Haha.

Alright I better get off to work. Be thinking about me at 4 this evening (PST). I have my doctors appointment. NERVOUS. But whatever. I'll make it through. Maybe I'll know a little bit more than what's going on. That would be neat. But I don't think I'm ready to know all.

Has anyone seen the dvd or read the book the secret? I think the more I worry and think about all the bad things it could be, I'm just bringing that negative energy on to myself and causing diseases within myself. Scary. I'll try to stay more positive. La la la.

Already looking forward to friday <3

Almost 2 years.
Jul 05 2008 05:31

I'm not mad at myself for yesterday, but I feel kind of retarded.

I said I was going to allow myself to gain 10 pounds if I wanted, and not really care. Okay, so I don't care! I gained 7, but I've done that before, and lost it. Last week actually. My body and I are used to this routine.

But the thing is, the things I ate were all "daily foods" but just in larger quantities. Like we went out, and I made a healthy salad for me, had a breadstick, some frozen yogurt... came home and had a few bags of popcorn throughout the day, a hamburger bun with bbq sauce on it, LOTS of alcohol (which isn't daily of course, but it's 5am and for some odd reason I'm not hung over), a turkey burger, some crispix.. gawd so many 'things'. I even finished off the box of waffles.

Then I looked back and thought to myself "well that was kind of stupid". I could have had things I've been wanting, like orange chicken. I could have had that for lunch. I could have had a small cake batter ice cream from coldstone. I love that stuff. I could have had QUALITY over quantity of just things.

Durr haha. Well next time I have a free day, that will be that. Or you know what, no more 'free days'. I can only have free meals. Free dinner w/ dessert.  Bottom line. Ya? That just pleases me more. After I knock this 7 pounds back off (give me until thursday), I'll be allowed my cakebatter ice cream! Haha. Maybe I'll even go out and have steak and a baked potatoe. I've been wanting that for a while. But to snack on my daily food ALL day is just dumb.

So there's that. :) New rules.

Oh and I got my bracelet you guys. My pandora charm bracelet. It's not coming off of me, even if I don't maintain my weight for the month. Its lack of beads will just remind me of the lack of my efforts. I need to buy a few spacer beads for my months (I'm at 8 months maintained, but I need 2 so they'll be month 8 and 9) and then I need a really special one, maybe with a CZ in it, to represent my 2 years counting. Heck it's my 2 years AND counting. This is pretty much my life. I think Ezra's excepted my style too, so we be good.

Monday is my dr appointment and we're going to go over my tests. I just hate pulling up to a building that says "American Cancer Institute". Even my appointment reminder card says that! Ah. Bleh. Oh well. My doc knows her blood *shrugs* Doesn't necessarly mean I have cancer. Just means that's where this specialist is located.

Ah why am I being so positive today? My brain is just clear. Isn't that good? Maybe I'll go in there and take a nice hot bath before Ezra wakes up.

I love you all! Time to go find my 2 year charm :) I'm excited. July 9th! And July 12th is Ezra and mine 8 months together. Such young love <3

Raw Fasting Day #1
Jun 15 2008 07:53

I stayed up late last night reading about raw fasting. Of course that was the day before I am supposed to be raw fasting. Anyway.. the small Ebook I read (thanks to Michelle) mentioned this is not a free range time to just binge on fruit.. this is a time to nourish the body and listen to its needs as they come about. Because I am a binger at heart, I will need to pre-plan my food still, and only eat at assigned times. The Ebook really got down to the points that some people can naturally listen to their bodies, while others will still hold emotional attachment to foods and want to over eat (even if it is just fruits and veggies).

I went to fresh & easy yesterday and stocked up on a bunch of fruits. Even one's I haven't had in years. Like mango. I don't even remember what a mango tastes like. And I have the biggest plump grapes I have ever seen in my fridge (yum sugar), fresh organic gala apples, cucumbers, broccoli, a big bag of pre made salad (organic, no pesticides), carrots (I have a feeling I'll be living off of these), and tons of other goodies. I need to see if there's a way I can cook the asparagus I bought just enough to still consider it raw. I just don't want it to go bad, so I'm about to look up some recipes. After I finish my raw/juicing, I'm going to get myself an apple charm for my new bracelet. :) Another milestone.

Throughout juicing, I am going to be drinking mostly "green" drinks, meaning they will contain spinach, kale, etc. I'm not going to be sitting here and drinking apple juice all day, so no worries. This is a high vitamin thing I am doing for myself. I'm actually quite excited to get these toxins out of my system.

But it's almost 8, and my body hasn't communicated hunger to me. It might be still full and upset from yesterday. Yesterday I went balls to the wall and ate whatever the hell. I had a few slices of bread to finish up, so I had a sandwich. Some milk I didn't want to go to waste, a mini cake that I knew would be calling my name. Basically I ate everything that I knew would taunt me. Plus went out for Mexican food with Ezra. I'm going to be doing this raw/fast thing for a few weeks... so I figured during the process I'd make up for 1 hellish day of food. More toxins for me to rid of.

I'll start my day with some nice refreshing melons. Take a super hot soaking bath to open my pores, have some cold lemon water, and take it easy.

Doesn't it sound so refreshing?

Check back in with me on day 2. I may go crazy :)

I'm planning on 5-7 days raw, 5 juice, and more raw to follow.

July 8th - my 2 year counting anniversary
May 29 2008 12:55

July 8th will mark my 2 years calorie counting anniversary.

Should I celebrate? Seems like a huge milestone for me :)

bah
May 22 2008 13:48

I'm nervous. Breathe in, breathe out.

Update: NEGATIVE! Woo woo. Okay off to bed. La la la la

My love for food.
May 04 2008 11:04

I love food.

;)

How'd you do it?
Apr 29 2008 08:21

I received a message today, and decided I'd answer it but let you all read my reply too.

how did you start that (calorie counting), what did you change in your life, anything you can offer would be a big help because I don't want to get depressed about being heavy I want to get in a better mind set and change myself.

Makes me smile thinking about this actually. There was many factors that played a roll in why I wanted to lose the weight. It happened at the drop of a hat.

1. My fiance (now my ex) told me he wasn't attracted to me. My body, my personality. I was a bitch! Didn't want to go anywhere or do anything. I was lazy. <-- that really made me look at my future and what I was doing to myself.

- I wanted to be a mom when I got older. I didn't want people to think "oh is she pregnant or just getting fatter" when I conceived. I wanted to see the bump grow in my belly. I wanted to embrace motherhood.

- When I had kids I knew I didn't want to feed them fried crap on a plate and call it a meal. I wanted health, fresh, clean. I wanted to walk into my home and feel relaxed and mentally healthy, emotionally healthy, and physically healthy.

- I wanted to be able to crawl around with my 'future' family to play on the floor as they grew.

- I wanted to be respected as a woman in the work field. People are mean to fat people. Let's be real. There are a lot more opportunities for skinnies.

- I wanted to go to the doctor without fearing the scale. I wanted to sit on a plane without feeling smashed and full of anxiety. I wanted to meet new people without feeling like the fat one. I wanted to eat without feeling like I was being watched. I wanted to be looked up to for my successes.

We all take control in our own ways. Going down the path I was, I wasn't going to get there. Quite the opposite. 5'5 and nearly 300 pounds. I had gained a good  50 pounds in 1 year. At that rate, I would have been wheelchair bound by the time I was 27. That's just not a way to live. So no matter whether you choose to 'maintain the fat' or lose it, you still go through the same process. So I picked to lose it.

The hike!
Apr 26 2008 08:19

Today's the hike! I feel sleepy and hung over :) Oh this should be good. It's going to be about 96 today. Oi Oi! Lots o sunscreen.

Alright better go hop in the shower. Peace out all! I'll post pictures later.