x17star17x's Journal

Why haven't you started maintenance yet?
Feb 24 2008 16:15

"Why haven't you started maintenance yet?"

I think i get asked this question more than enough. I HAVE started maintenance. I'm at a state where I'm trying to understand my body, its urges, and why I act the way I do towards food.

I started maintaining and gained 2 pounds I didn't intend on gaining. I was binging nightly on dry cereal, and it was depressing me the pull food was having on me again. So I stepped back, told myself no more, and i'm trying to keep myself accountable for the food that I am eating again.

This is my plan: Eat 1300-1500 calories on the week days (no binging on unknown amounts of little things) and on the weekends I can have 2000 calorie days if I want. This allows me to go out and eat, have my french fries and ice cream, etc. Everyone has their own way of keeping a handle on maintenance, and this is mine. I'm going to try it out anyway.

Gained 2 pounds, putting me at 129. I felt bloated, and gross. My digestive tract wasn't used to the cups and cups of cereal and other things I was eating, and I couldn't even go to the restroom properly. My food was being over taken with dry carbs, opposed to veggies. Kicked veggies back into my diet, stopped binging on junk, and now I can GO again, and I don't feel all bloated and gross. I feel rather good.

But just so everyone knows, I will be holding myself accountable by posting my daily food in my journal. It is my journal after all, but I will def answer questions.

Maintaining is different than dieting. Maintaining there are no strict guidelines, no sure calorie number you should eat (and if you do, you might as well be writing them down, yes?), and there are chances to live a little. So even though this was a 'weekend' and not a 'weekday', since my bad calls last week, i used it to get back on board.

Breakfast:
Weight Smart Oatmeal - 160 calories

Lunch:
Light wheat bread - 90 calories
2oz Turkey Breast - 60 calories
1tbsp Miracle Whip Free - 15 calories
1 apple - 75 calories
2.5oz baby carrots - 35 calories
Pickle - 10 calories

Snack:
Pop secret popcorn - 100 calories

Total: 545

I plan on making a decent dinner with chicken and potato, or maybe brown rice instead. We'll see. I will hit my 1300 for the night tho. Dontcha worry. I'll get dinner started in the next 30 minutes. For now, I have eggs boiling for a quick grab and go hard boiled egg. mmm eggs and salt ;)

Current weight: 127 :)

Dinner:
1/4 cup brown rice - 150 cals
1tbsp teriyaki sauce - 15 cals
Green beans - 30 cals
Garlic - 0 cals? 5?
3oz chicken - 75 cals
1 egg white - 20 cals
rockstar - 20 cals

Total: 860 cals

Snack:
1 cup Crispix - 110 cals
1/2 cup FF Milk - 40 cals

Total: 1010

Alt Bagel - 110 cals
No sugar added apple sauce - 50 cals (good stuff too)

Total: 1170

I'll go scrounge in the kitchen and find something else to nourish my body. 

Ah no more binging, and I feel SO good.
Feb 23 2008 12:56

Ah still at 127. I feel GOOD you guys. No more binging. It's not worth the problems and the pain you put your digestive tract through.

Had a 160 calorie breakfast sandwich this morning:

2 slices light wheat bread (90 cals)
1oz honey ham (30 cals)
1/4 cup egg beaters (30 cals)
1tbsp miracle whip free (15 cals)

Alright, so it was 165 calories. I lied :) Super good and filling. I didnt even snack at 10 like normal. Had to go get my oil changed and whatnot.. which was free and they even washed my car. Then came home and had a 350 calorie south beach diet pizza. mmm. ;) I'll grab and apple and eat some veggies later tonight (see i'm trying to get my veggies back).

Off to IKEA even though I don't have any money to spend. I just want to walk around, then at the end of the road I'll get me one of them yummy frozen yogurts. I can't think of anything I need except for a lamp for my desk at work. Yay for lamps.

And I'm off!

Breakfast:
As stated above - 165cals total

Lunch:
SBD Pizza - 350 cals

Snack:
McDonalds ice cream cone.. a small one - 150 cals

Snack 2:
Lots of veggies. A whole bowl full. Carrots, broccoli, cauliflower - 75 cals?
Dressing light Italian mixed with blue cheese - 30 cals
Little corner of rye bread - 40 cals

Dinner:
2oz Pasta - 120 cals
Lots of green beans - 50 cals
Spaghetti sauce - 50 cals

960 cals :) Going to the movies tonight and i'll bring some snacks. Decisions decisions.

WW GIANT ice cream bar - 120 cals
Gummy Bears - 110 cals

Days end total - 1260 cals 

Yellow boogers = no bueno
Feb 22 2008 08:36

Ah it feels so good to not stuff your body full of food. So so good. The scale is back down to 127, and I don't feel bloated and yuck inside. However, if this cold doesn't let up, I'm going to fall asleep at my desk. My ears are ringing. At lunch I'll go get some cold medicine that will dry up my sinus'. Yea? I hope that will help some.

Last night I had a wee little slice of banana bread (I'm talking seriously little) and a few bites of a tagalog girlscout cookie (maybe half a cookie?) to round out my night after I hit my 1175 calories. That probably put me at 1300, so I'm not complaining by any means. 

Today for lunch is Subway. I brought a can of soup with me for lunch, and some veggies, but instead i'll go with a few people from the office to Subway. No chips, just the sammich (280 cals) and I'll eat my veggies I brought from home beside it. For breakfast, I had my standard oatmeal. Oatmeal just seems to do the trick and keep me full. Plus it's all warm and gooy. Who doesn't like warm and gooy? Dinner is most likely a Pita from Pita Jungle with fruit, but I won't go over board. I should have approx 600 calories to play with for dinner, and I shouldn't even be close to that. I never get any sauce, and I only eat half the flat bread. I might have a few hundred to spare for snacks at night, or maybe have a drink to wind out the week with.

Alright, time to work. I'm SO zoning out right now. Blah. Yellow boogers suck. 

Girlscout cookies and a pocket full of control.
Feb 21 2008 09:21

I just found a thread of girls my height and weight... well pretty close to it, and most of the girls there were between a size 4-8, wearing a small to medium top. How strange is that? How come I'm a size 2? I've tried on size 2's in several stores, and I'm always fitting into a 2. I buy slacks from express that are 2's, and slacks from new york and co that are 2's.. jeans from new york and co, and the loft, all size 2's. Small shirts are a bit big on me, so I get extra smalls... Do I shop at places that clothes run big, or is my head full of nonsense? Do I look like a size 2? No.. not really. What does a size 2 look like anyway? Bah!

Anyway, I am content with my body size. When I get my skin removed, there is no doubt I'll be a size 0. Maybe even a double 0... Strange. But I think my shirts will have to get bigger because my girls will get an enhancement. You've no idea how bad I want my girls! It gives me butterflies thinking about it. Feeling like a woman... I want to feel like a woman. Ha I choked up right there.

Alright time to work. We're having a lunch-in today for new worker orientation, and they're ordering pizza. I had 160 calories in oatmeal (it's 945.. I got to work late because I needed to fix my tire) and I'm going to be good by just having 1 slice and a bit of salad. Hopefully the salad has lots of cucumbers and carrots in it. :) Yum.

Thanks for the advice yesterday. You guys are holding me accountable for my actions too. I have a bag of cauliflower and broccoli, and baby carrots that I PROMISE I will munch on tonight. They sound really good actually. With a bit of zesty light Italian dressing (15 cals a tablespoon). Can't go wrong with that.

Dinner will be small. Maybe a veggie burger (morning star patty at 130 cals, and an 80 cal bun, and 20 in ketchup). I can even slice up 5.3oz of potatos (100 cals) and bake me some 'fries'. I have seasoning salt! I have total control today. I woke up with it, and I'm not going to munch. OHHH By the way, I got girlscout cookies sitting on my desk. The peanut butter ones and the thin mints. I plan on taking 4 out of the box, and sticking the rest in the break room. Make that into a couple snacks, and I'll be fine. Gotta love them girlscouts (this one was too cute to deny buying cookies from. first time ever buying girlscout cookies!)

Work time!

Current weight: 128, on the nose!

Food:

Breakfast
Weight Smart Oatmeal - 160 calories

Snack
Popcorn - 100 calories

Lunch
Pizza - 300 calories
Salad - 50 calories

Dinner
Broccoli, Carrots, Cauliflower - 60 calories
Chicken - 100 calories
3tbsp Teriyaki Sauce - 45 calories

Dessert
Skinny Cow Icecream - 140 calories

Total: 955 calories. I'll eat more things later. Right now I don't feel like gorging. And you know what? I feel good.

Cont.

Gummy Bears - 110 calories
Orange - 60 calories
String Cheese - 50 calories

1175 calories. Ah close enough. 

PS: I love you.
Feb 20 2008 23:32

It's just been a rough week.

Little by little, I'm gaining control. I guess that's all I can ask for. :)

Good times.

PS: I love him.

I need to be accountable. Here is what I ate yesterday (I KNOW it's not great)

weight smart oatmeal - 160 cals

popcorn - 100 cals cals

teriyaki chicken noodle dealy from lean cuisine - 300 cals

2 dark chocolate stix - 160 cals

3/4 cups trix - 120 cals 

teriyaki chicken rice dealy from smart ones - 230 cals

toast - 50 cals

few bites of weight smart oatmeal - 50 cals

bowl of trix - 160 cals

bowl of crispix - 160 cals

pretzel bites - 150 cals

popcorn - 100 cals

BAH! I've been eating all day ;) BUT I didn't snack on dry cereal. See, I ate it with milk :) 

Total calories consumed:  1740. Worse than I thought. - 100 calories over maintenance. I'll make a list tomorrow.

Gotta stay accountable! 

Little rewards move me forward.
Feb 20 2008 08:47

Why oh why do colds last so long? *sigh* I know it just needs to run its course and then all will be good, but its crazy when they last a week or more. At least it's just in the "stuffy nose" part of it. A light to mild cough on top of that, but it's not too bad. Just cross your fingers this doesn't move into my ears. Colds love my ears.

Last night I had a fight with the cheerios. Dry cereal. I told you I fight with myself. I'm so tired of fighting. Today I feel like I have a good handle on it. Still clocking in at 128 (see, I'm maintaining, but I want to lose a pound.. I'm stupid I know). What I really want is a chicken pita with a few fries. I told myself that if I'm good this week, on Friday or Saturday I can go get my dang pita. Sounds reasonable.

I'm surprised it's already Wednesday. Another week is just slipping through my finger tips. At my job, we have to account for every minute of our day. Some things are 'billable' while others are 'non billable' *sigh* It's a pain sometimes because i'm not focused 100% of the day. But then again, who is? Nobody.. that's what I thought.

7 more minutes until I'm off to a meeting. Wee. It's a "team meeting" to discuss what we're working on. I better get a list together. :) Toodles everyone.

Keep your chin up. This is a rewarding journey.

This is how I feel right now: lkstn;lkastn'lKAEAEAEAEAEkwjIQ#tonoawtnokin 

Busy busy busy. Gotta stay on track.
Feb 19 2008 08:56

I'm alive.

Busy again at work.

Wee!

Current Weight: 128

Gotta stay responsible. Went to my 'doctors' appointment... picked up subway.

I've consumed 700 calories and it's noon.

Can't eat until 3 - 100 calories of something

Then I can't eat until 6 - 300 calories of something

Then I can have a snack of some sort. Won't go over 1300 calories.

I simply wont.

Why am I fighting with myself? 

Food. What's food?
Feb 18 2008 08:56

Too busy at work to write today. It's already 9 and I'm up to my ears in work. I REALLY wish there was an internal way to track tickets. Getting these 'please do this' emails with attachments really make a mess of my day.

{{hugs}} hang in there everyone. Take your vitamin C! You seriously don't want this cold that's going around.

Current weight: 128

Breakfast: Oatmeal

Lunch: Campbells Chunky Chicken Noodle Soup (helps with my throat)

Snacks: 100 cal pack Cheeze-its - mmm ;) 60 cal chocolate stick & popcorn

Dinner: Chicken Sammich. I FINALLY found my 80 cal wonder bread buns again. It's ON now succas.

Dessert: Apple w/ 60 cal caramel pudding cup 

Skydivingggg
Feb 17 2008 08:37

Skydiving went awesome! Can't beat falling out of a plane. This facility was SO little, and seemed to be family owned. I trusted the guy, and I'm alive ;) I did get a DVD, but I guess they don't do the pictures. I'll have to take some screen shots from the DVD to show you all. I'm not familiar with uploading a dvd to the internet. People are so genius at doing such things.

Skydiving makes you HUNGRY. After the 2 hour drive (which I did ALL by myself, nearly all of it was freeway driving - which is something i've never done before) each way, and making the jump, dinner was much needed. We had mexican food (mmm grilled chicken enchaladas) and I enjoyed every minute of it. Scale is at 128 on the nose, so I'm not worried by any means.

Anyone else pick up the book Skinny Bitch? My gosh does that woman knock some sense into your head. I can't say i'm going to become vegan (as by the middle of the book you find out she wants you to be), but it really is enlightening about the FDA and USDA. I may re-consider some of my choices as time goes on. I don't think I can give up a normal lifestyle of eating my chicken. But knowing i'm eating steriods, hormones, and antibiotics, it's just eye opening. And the cruelty those birds (and all animals for that matter - even fish!) go through, it's stomach turning. The things we consume and not even think about. I may eat less of it until I can wrap my mind around such ideas. It's not an easy lifestyle.

Alright I gotta go do my on the side "making money for boobies" job. I haven't gotten a first check (getting paid once a month and all), so I gotta make sure everything is up and running before the months end.

Take care everyone! Hope your weekend was awesome. ;) 

Skydiving, Health Insurance, and Vday
Feb 15 2008 08:09

Work went really well yesterday. I got a lot of things organized, had a sugar sucker, a square of dark chocolate, and the rest was flawless. When I got home, Ezra came over and we made our steak and whatnot. I'm no cook, but we didn't burn anything! I enjoyed it greatly. mmmm I'm missing my steak now.

We drank a bit and watched a movie. Just relaxing. When I drink I tend to talk in circles about things I probably shouldn't be saying. All my feelings... and we all know I have tons of them for Ezra. Maybe next time I'll shut up :) Yea?

My cold is getting worse. I don't even know if I mentioned that I had a cold in my journal, but here I am tracking it down. Boogery nose, a tickley and sore throat. It comes with working in an office. 1 person gets sick and next thing you know everyone is coughing and sniffling about.

I'm supposed to be going skydiving tomorrow. It's raining in AZ today. I don't know if it's going to be raining tomorrow.. and I'm not all that worried if it does, it just saddens me that it will be cloudy. Clouds make it to where I can't see my fall when I jump out of the plane. Crazyness.

Oh oh, I got my letter from the insurance company letting me know they are aware of my 'pre existing condition' :) Woo.. *sarcasm*. They wont cover any care for my pre existing condition for 10 months. I guess 10 months of 63 dollar insurance isn't that bad, egh? It's just waiting out the 10 months that's going to suck. Sooooo 12/21/08 they will cover my gallbladder happenings. Just in time for Christmas :) I'll just have to not piss it off until then. And I KNOW it sounds like crap (having to wait 10 months and all) but at least I'm not denied, and I am now running on insurance that will help me with other things. Let's get this show on the road.

Alright gotta get to work. We log our time by the minute. ;) I don't think "writing in my CC journal" counts as billable.