Veg*ns, do your friends and family cater to your needs?

If you are invited to eat at a friend's or family member's, do they take your dietary needs into account when preparing the meal? My mother always makes sure there is a vegan main dish, and that the sides are vegan (or at least some of them) whenever my daughter or I eat there, bless her heart. For others, I always make sure to bring a dish to share that includes a protein source. Often it's the only thing there I can eat.

I am not vegetarian/vegan, but I can't eat dairy or red meat (in large amounts) without a lot of gutache. This summer I was invited to two BBQs in the space of two weeks: the first friend had vegetarian and soy options, and made bean and pasta salads available as well as burgers, sausages and chicken wings. The second friend simply told me I could always stick to having some salad in a bun.

It's amazing how people differ.

I'm not veggie/vegan either, but very seldom eat meat as I simply prefer  the alternatives.  I'm more than happy to prepare veggie alternatives when friends come round, but I've often wondered...as a vegetarian/vegan what would you do if a meat eating friend was coming over to dinner and asked for you to cater to this dietary requirement?

Just curious...

:)

I am not even close to a vegetarian...I love steak, but I do have two friends who are almost vegans.  By almost vegans i mean that they will eat eggs if they are in baked goods.  I had a dinner party when i got my apartment and invited them and made sure that I had something for them to eat. I believe it was tofu breaded in sesame seeds and i had pork for my other friends.  Another time i made potato leek soup which called for chicken broth and i used veggie broth and the soup was just as tasty....

In reference to them catering to me...i would never expect that. They have veggie bbq's and when i go i eat a veggie burger like everyone else and she makes this veggie chili that is sooo tasty. I think it would be kind of mean to ask a vegetarian to cook me a steak...i would kinda consider it rude. 

I'm vegan and my family always caters to me, but they also cook their own meat meals and make sure I'm aware that my stuff did not touch their stuff.

When I go to friends bbqs or dinner parties, i will bring my own veggie burgers, or my own dessert or whatever... a lot of times with the desserts i don't even mention that they're vegan and people often forget and eat them all up and then praise my culinary skills haha.

Im vegan, and my family is very supportive. My husband eats no meat at home and none when we get out to eat. He only eats meat when im not around, and then only maybe once a month. When we go to families homes I just offer to cook for everyone and since im the best cook, everyone always accepts my offer. I make vegan fair, such as vegan pancakes, vegan lasagna, tofu brownies, and many other things most people can not tell a difference. Most people are very opened minded to trying vegan food as long as it doesn't come with guilt for there meat eatting habbits from the vegan. I dont try to change everyone I simply show them how good and healthy vegan food can be, and slowly it is changing them for the better. That is all really anyone can do.

Original Post by tankgirl124:

I'm not veggie/vegan either, but very seldom eat meat as I simply prefer  the alternatives.  I'm more than happy to prepare veggie alternatives when friends come round, but I've often wondered...as a vegetarian/vegan what would you do if a meat eating friend was coming over to dinner and asked for you to cater to this dietary requirement?

Just curious...

:)

Unless that person is feline, they don't  require meat. I do not prepare meat in my home, so my friends know they would have to bring their own. I'm never had anyone actually do so, though, as I make some pretty kickass vegan meals.

I have a vegan friend. I would never expect him to grill a steak for me, how RUDE would I be to impost my eating on him, as he would NEVER impost his habits on anyone.

Tha said, if I know he's coming to dinner, I'll make sure he's got something to eat.

When he cooks, he basically uses the opportunity to seduce everyone's tastebuds..... lol!

It's sort of like another pal, she wears a niqab. She very religious, you could say she has some very fundamentalist views. She never expects me to wear one. She's come to the conclusion that the world would be a better place if all women covered themselves in black from head to toe.

I don't believe this is so.

She also dooesn't eat pork since she's a muslim, and she doesn't drink wine ( a lot of other muslims I know do drink alcohol, but none of them eat pork.)

. I wouldn't put pork and wine on the table when she's coming over.

It's all a matter of manners and acceptance or what is different from myself, cause I mean

otherwise I would have to restrict myself to friends who have the EXACT same veiws on everything, and that would be difficult, and it wouldn't be like me.

What she does though, is cook DELICIOUS meals. She actually feels like all meat should meat slaughtered her way, wich makes her a vegetarian almost by default, since the halal butcher is far away.

Last time, we had falaffels- YUM YUM.  I've learned how to make them.

They're one of those incredible examples of intergalactic food. Everyone can eat them, and everyone likes them!

Summary: When I have people over, I cook for them, all of them. If someone drops by unexpectedly, I'm sure I have something tasty to put on the table. I don't, however, have to adapt all to that person.

If that makes any sense.

 

 

I'm a vegetarian and it's always awkward at my friends' houses because I don't eat most of their food. I don't want to be rude, either, so I just nibble on cheese and corn while everyone else is digging into their *whisper* dead cow. =/ I can't even imagine how difficult it must be to only have vegan options! Plus, you never know what they put on the food O_o I wish I had advice for you, but you're probably doing all you can by bringing over your own dish =[. But good job for sticking with it! Being a vegan/vegetarian has great rewards ;D

I never expect my friends or family to cater to me.  Just a couple of weeks ago my daughter (who is not veg*n) and I went on vacation with my girlfriend and her family.  Since being vegetarian is still pretty new for me (~3 months) my friend had forgotten and bought steaks and chicken and all sorts of things and was very disappointed that I wouldn't eat it.  But I also made sure that I ate things that were onhand that didn't require any special preparation.  Let's just say I ate ALOT of baked potatoes that week...  I don't want to be a bother to anyone just because I choose to eat differently.

On that same note though, my husband and daughter are not vegetarians.  They are eating far less meat, but still eat meat.  I still cook it for them a couple of times a week, I just don't eat it.  When we have people over, we serve meat.  There are PLENTY of veg options, but meat is available too.

I eat meat (although I am trying to reduce my intake for health reasons) and two of my good friends are veggies....I really enjoy cooking for them when they come over! It gives me a chance to try new recipes, ones that I wouldn't necessarily try. I made a portobello and almond pesto lasagna for them one time and it's become one of my favorite dishes :)

At home I do all the cooking, so 90% of it vegan, but when I go to friends houses/BBQs it's very tough. I have no vegetarian friends and I'm ok with that but sometimes I get a little annoyed when we decide to eat out and someone says 'lets go to burger king!' and all their faces light up with joy. How could I then say, err actually I can't have that. So I just order chips and orange juice and shut up.

If I'm invited to a friends house for dinner and there isn't even anything remotely vegan, I just say I ate before I came and wait it out. It's not worth kicking up a fuss, plus it's rude. Sometimes I offer to bring something (most of the time so I can actually eat something rather than looking at them eat)

At college (yes I'm still in college) its terrible! Eating out for lunch is too expensive so I'm stuck with over cooked pasta and old salad. I try to pack my own lunch but that can be such a hassle while studying.

so to conclude: no usually people don't provide but I'm not one to ever complain about it. It's my choice to eat this way and most people don't so the majority rules, I just work around it.

When I first became vegetarian in '00, I found it so hard to find anything vegetarian to eat away from home - whether at a friend's or restaurant or social gathering, even if they knew you were coming. Now I find almost anywhere you go, there's something vegetarian to eat, albeit probably not vegan. Now when I go to bbq's, potlucks or the like when a vegetarian isn't even expected, there's usually something vegetarian 'just in case' a veggie shows up. 8 years have shown lots of progress for vegetarianism, hopefully soon the same changes can be seen for veganism :)

Heck no!  No one caters to my way of eating at all..except me.   When we want  go out to eat I sit quietly and listen to all the reasons they can't eat at certain restaurants because of "carbs" or "weird seasonings" and even "vegetables in the burritos..eew"...I never say a thing and I always manage to eat where ever we end up.

If we are having a picnic or BBQ, I bring my own black bean burgers and I make several vegan sides to share...they always eat the food and love it..go figure.

Original Post by bonjourlaure:

I'm a vegetarian and it's always awkward at my friends' houses because I don't eat most of their food. I don't want to be rude, either, so I just nibble on cheese and corn while everyone else is digging into their *whisper* dead cow. =/ I can't even imagine how difficult it must be to only have vegan options! Plus, you never know what they put on the food O_o I wish I had advice for you, but you're probably doing all you can by bringing over your own dish =[. But good job for sticking with it! Being a vegan/vegetarian has great rewards ;D

I think once you get older you will find people who are genuinely like yourself. Most of my good friends are vegetarian or transitioning vegetarian. Usually people who are alike find each other:p

Original Post by bonjourlaure:

I'm a vegetarian and it's always awkward at my friends' houses because I don't eat most of their food. I don't want to be rude, either, so I just nibble on cheese and corn while everyone else is digging into their *whisper* dead cow. =/ I can't even imagine how difficult it must be to only have vegan options! Plus, you never know what they put on the food O_o I wish I had advice for you, but you're probably doing all you can by bringing over your own dish =[. But good job for sticking with it! Being a vegan/vegetarian has great rewards ;D

I think once you get older you will find people who are genuinely like yourself. Most of my good friends are vegetarian or transitioning vegetarian. Usually people who are alike find each other:p

well some of my closest friends eat meat quite a bit, but when i went to a cottage up north with one of them for a couple weeks, they made my vegetarianism a priority and while sometimes there were meat main dishes (large family) , they always had a dish of pasta, salads, and many sides. Since my Family's from south-asia they even tried to make food from my country which was really sweet :)

At home, yes. I was so surprised. I went away to college an omnivore, and I came home this summer for the first time all year a vegan, and my traditional and rather strict parents lectured me about it a bit but gave up. To my surprise, they do accommodate me! Even when they lectured me for the first couple of days, my mom would buy and cut up tofu at every meal for me. It's really made me realize that as long as I stay firm in what I believe in, no one can make me eat anything I don't want to. I'm really happy about this. When I eat out too, I realized that I can "veganize" my food. If I get fried rice, I'll tell the restaurant to not give me any meat or eggs in it. I can even still get pizza without any cheese on it, and people might think I'm crazy, but hey, who cares?

I'm touched whenever people remember though. One time one family I know made a huge vegan main dish just for me. And when I stayed with another family for a few days, I just went to a local grocery store and bought my "protein sources" (tofu, fake meats, etc.), and I'd have that in place of whatever meat everyone else was having. It worked out perfectly.

For my friends, since I am newly vegan, I think they tend to forget a lot. If I do have something to eat, it's usually by accident. I often have nothing much to eat when I'm with them, but I don't make a big deal out of it, and usually no one notices anyway. I'll eat whatever vegan friendly side dishes there are, and usually there is at least fresh fruit and salad. If there really is nothing, like one time there was only 1 dish-- a chicken and seafood rice dish, I took a lot of rice only. 

When someone is cooking for me and they don't know I eat vegan... it can be kind of awkward telling people this, but I think it is only fair that they know. If we are going out to eat, I never worry, because I can "veganize" anything I want, but if they are preparing something, I think it's rude to show up and say, "Oh I can't eat this!" It makes people feel so bad, because if only they knew, they would have prepared something else, and it's usually not a big deal on their part either. 

I think it takes a little work for everyone in general, but one way people show their love for you is show that they thought and cared about you having something to eat. I have a friend allergic to gluten, and it makes me happy that I can bake gluten-free for her. I don't feel like it's troublesome or anything, I just accept it, and I kind of like the challenge.

Anyway, interesting question!

I wouldn't ask a vegetarian person to cook meat for me because it's not a question of reciprocation, it's a question of consideration for a person's morals.  If, somehow, I found vegetables offensive or couldn't eat them, then yes, I would expect someone who invited me over to make accomodations for me.  However, since I *like* vegetables, I'd have no problem going and eating a veggie meal with someone else.  If someone decided they were going to do all dairy-based foods, and knew I was lactose intolerant, and didn't accomodate that, I'd feel slighted for sure.

Likewise, when someone comes to my house, I try to consider what they can and will eat when I cook for them.  Veggie deals for vegetarians, meat and potatoes for others, or I have a friend who hates seasonings and I cook chicken with lemon juice for him.  It's simply being considerate of what they won't eat, not a matter of making meals to accomodate what they will eat.

Since I'll eat just about anything, I'm pretty happy wherever I go :)

Original Post by j-snyder:

I wouldn't ask a vegetarian person to cook meat for me because it's not a question of reciprocation, it's a question of consideration for a person's morals.  If, somehow, I found vegetables offensive or couldn't eat them, then yes, I would expect someone who invited me over to make accomodations for me.  However, since I *like* vegetables, I'd have no problem going and eating a veggie meal with someone else.  If someone decided they were going to do all dairy-based foods, and knew I was lactose intolerant, and didn't accomodate that, I'd feel slighted for sure.

Likewise, when someone comes to my house, I try to consider what they can and will eat when I cook for them.  Veggie deals for vegetarians, meat and potatoes for others, or I have a friend who hates seasonings and I cook chicken with lemon juice for him.  It's simply being considerate of what they won't eat, not a matter of making meals to accomodate what they will eat.

Since I'll eat just about anything, I'm pretty happy wherever I go :)

 I think that is where we differ.  I don't expect anyone to cater to me.  When someone invites me over to their place for a meal, I either eat what they provide, provide my own, or don't eat. 

You said that if you found vegetables offensive and wouldn't eat them, then you would expect them to make special accomodations?  Where do we draw the line?  (most) Vegetarians and Vegans choose that lifestyle.  It's not that they can't eat meat.  It's that they won't eat meat.  It's no different than me choosing to not eat broccoli because I don't like it. 

I think it's nice when people try to make accomodations for their guests, but I don't think it should just be expected.

Original Post by tankgirl124:

I'm not veggie/vegan either, but very seldom eat meat as I simply prefer  the alternatives.  I'm more than happy to prepare veggie alternatives when friends come round, but I've often wondered...as a vegetarian/vegan what would you do if a meat eating friend was coming over to dinner and asked for you to cater to this dietary requirement?

Just curious...

:)

I'm not sure my sister would, but my sister's boyfriend picked us up sushi one day and debated for fifteen minutes over what meat one he might get for me.

I thought it was quite nice of him.

I however always try to think of others requirements now that my sister is a vegan.