VENT

Two years ago I weighed 130.  I now weigh 190.   (I am a 35 year old female - 5'5")  I have been trying for a year to lose the weight and I'm still hoovering in the 180s.    I'll lose 3 lbs then gain 5.   I have no one at all (zero people) for a support system.    I know several people who are over weight (all bigger than I am)  but no one will go on a diet with me.  No one will work out with me.   Nothing.   I have joined groups on here before but after a few days I'm the only one posting anything.  No one will stay with the group.   I can't afford a trainer for enough days a week to help.  I have tried to find someone on line to be a 'diet buddy' but can't find anyone.  I have tried to find a company of some kind online that will be like a diet coach but no one is returning my emails.   I have given up.   I can't stick with something for more than a couple of days and I have no one to help me.   I will never lose this weight.

I am so sorry Ur feeling this way.  And I totally understand its a lot easier to lose weight when you have a support network.

Don't give up!!!

It is possible to lose weight on your own.  I did it and so can you.

If you really feel you can't, try joining in on one of the challenges in the Games & Challenges section or the Fitness section.  Look for one that has a lot of active participants; that way, if one person drops out, you don't lose motivation.

Thanks but I have already joined in the challenges.  Ones that I thought had a lot of participants.  Just no activity.   Not very encouraging.

Many of us have made friends at CC. It's easier to do when you post a profile so people  can get to know you a bit. Journaling and chatting with friends that way is very powerful. Right now, people only know you because of your forum posts. Fill out the profile and journal. You'll make friends that think like you do that way. Soon you'll have too many conversations to keep up with.

If you are in a group that has enough people in it, but is not active, then activate it. Ask interesting Qs on the longest threads so that everyone that posted gets a note that someone is active. That will sometimes bring someone out of their "away time".

You do need to just do it for you, though, not because someone will do it with you. Enjoy the ride and make whatever friends you can find along the way to creating a healthier life.

I know it's hard, but you must not rely on other people to achieve your goal! It does help, but ultimately you will be the only one you can truly count on.  Find an even BIGGER reason to get healthy (longer life, self-confidence, disease prevention, bone health, mental health); that might help you so that you can stay motivated.  A single-minded focus on weight loss only makes it difficult to keep going, because it can take awhile to see results.  Try focusing on overall body strength and energy levels.  That might help.

First of all I'm sorry you feel this way. But who are you trying to lose weight for? When I decided to lose weight I had no support just like you. I was actually a victim of de-motivation cause people would tell me I been fat for so long there is no way I can lose weight.

What I did was evaluate why I needed to lose weight. I found out the real reason I NEEDED to lose weight was for MY health. I still have things to do in this life and I want to be here to do them. So if I can stave off death by losing weight and avoiding a weight related sickness that will kill me I'm gonna lose this weight. So that gets me out there every day to exercise and eat properly and so far I have lost 57.3 pounds out of a total 65 I want to lose. I did it with self motivation.

Find a routine you will like (walking, running and biking are mine), or maybe a device that will help you track your progress (I track my walking and running with the nike+ kit). Make losing weight a part of your life and try to make it fun to do. Everything is easy when it's fun to do.

Remember nobody will lose the weight for you and nobody can motivate you better then you can motivate yourself.

Everyone here has great advice... but also, try not to think of your eating habits as a "diet."  Instead, it is a "lifestyle change."  While working out is uuber importat to lose weight, so is what you eat - since overall it is a calorie deficit that causes you to lose.  Really take a look at what you're eating and the calories you're consuming and try to find alternatives for those high-cal foods.  It is always hard at first, but once you get into a rhythm and get used to new eating habits - it's a breeze!  And it isn't always about depriving yourself, you can still enjoy some of the yummy foods you adore, just beware of your portion size and your total calories for the day.  I know I will be having ice-cream tonight, so I'm going to be careful throughout the day (not starving myself, I'm just paying attention and logging my calories) and work out so that I can fit that 400 calorie treat into my day without going over. 

Hang in there and be strong - you can do this!!

You're creating obstacles for yourself to lose weight.  By pushing the blame onto others, you're avoiding taking responsibility for your weight and accountability for sticking to the lifestyle changes you're making.  I suggest you take a quiet afternoon and really think about your situation and try to understand that nobody has a greater affect on your life than yourself.  You are the ony one that can control your actions.

Wow. I read your post and it's almost exactly what I'm going through. I weighed 140-ish two years ago - and now I'm 190.

I would like to know why you've gained.  I started gaining when I quit smoking and then it snowballed from there.

Funny - it never occured to me to have support or help (beyond this sort of websight) in losing weight.

Besides, I'd feel better if I did it on my own - but that's just me..

Original Post by vshawn:

Wow. I read your post and it's almost exactly what I'm going through. I weighed 140-ish two years ago - and now I'm 190.

I would like to know why you've gained.  I started gaining when I quit smoking and then it snowballed from there.

Funny - it never occured to me to have support or help (beyond this sort of websight) in losing weight.

Besides, I'd feel better if I did it on my own - but that's just me..

 I started gaining when I started a new job that is extremely stressful.   It has consumed me.   When I started this new job in early 07 I weighed approx. 132.  I now tip the scales at 190.  Amazing.