Very confused and in need of help/advice

Ive been in recovery for a year now...hoping this time around I have the courage to finaly recover for real. Now this is the issue.

Im eating 1,600 calories and yes Im completely sedentary, meaning I sit at home all day, only go grocery shopping once every 2 or 3 dayss, so that doesnt count. I searched here on CC for my daily calorie requirements to maintain, and also on other websites. They all give me the same amount of 1,600, so I feel Im doing the right thing?

I weigh 108...yes this is low...and Im now wondering....Im gaining on 1,600 when I should be maintaining. This is a clear indication that my body wants to gain right?  I mean I should take it that way, because if Im gaining on barely 1,600....and Im sedentary, plus its what I have to eat to maintain my weight....there's something wrong. I dont know if its related to other health issues, like pcos or hypo...which I suspect I may have....and Im really concerned because Im confused as to what to do...to keep eating this amount or what.

I dont want to gain past my goal 115 (my initial weight before ED) but Im building courage to gain all the way to that weight again, tho its taking a lot of self control and strength....*sighs*

My birthday's also in a month or so..and Im going away on a trip and I hoped to maintain my weight now, so that when I leave on my trip I can eat wtvr I want and feel no guilt cos I know I needed to gain, but now im just worried about gaining a lot of weight past my 115 before this trip and wondering if it will stop or something or I will just keep gaining.

What should I do?

I dont exercise (tried doing 60 mins exercise on saturday and had well above 1,800 and gained some weight) I dont have my period (and I want it back hence me giving up on exercising and focusing on getting better).

help? :(

EDIT: also I feel at night specialy, pressure on my abdomen....dont know if this has anything to do with all this gaining. Im starting to think its hormonal, really.

hi hun!

so your body has a "happy weight" where it wants to be, itll gain and try and stop gaining till and when it gets there.  i think you could maintain on more when sedentary, how tall are you and at 115 what would your bmi be?

Im 5'4''

I was able to maintain 115 before my ED not doing any sort of diet or exercise ( i guess I am "naturaly slim" not to mention that my frame is small) I was at my optimum health at this weight. I bet that for a lot of people here its still low for my height but its where I've been all my life. Im just scared that Ill gain past this number? Should I eat more then? Im so confused.

I know that two weeks ago, I was exercising 6 days a week and I was going up and down with my weight but I was pretty sure it was "normal"?

last week I was still going up and down...i started gaining consistently at the end of last week...so I am worried.

I guess I just need advice on what to do.

Oh and my bmi at 115 i believe is 19

im the same height!  115 is still very low tho.  how old were you before the ED?  youve grown, matured, women have curves! lol, rt?!  i think you should eat more, no way should you be gaining on that if youre at a good weight for your body.  your body is basically asking you to feed+nourish it and thinks that you will be healthier, livlier, more into life weighing a bit more, yes more, but itll pay off way more than a silly number!  eat 2000 for 2 weeks, yes, youll probably gain a bit but its all for your health!  youll feel tons better and i bet the gain stop too!

6 days of what, cardio, is a lot, also makes ppl gain at first.  deff eat mroe i think!

I was 19 before my ED Im now going ot be 20 (still 19) so yeah lol 115 may sound low for ppl but it has always been my weight...always around 112-118...I never gained more than that. I really am strating to believe that I am naturaly slim. Id kill to go back to those days and never be where I am today....but its ok I can fix this if only I knew of the perfect way to do this and not gain past my goal weight...

and I question the eating more thing because I dont do anything all day :S so it just seems weird to me to eat more than 1,600 if Im completely...literaly, completely sedentary ( I dont go out, I dont study or work, so Im stuck at home all day)

ah! the confusion is horrible :(

bump.

anyone else has any input? please? :(

You claim that you are gaining on 1600 calories, yet you have managed to stay at a low weight for a very long time. I know recovery seems like we are in "constant gain mode" but it only feels that way because we are too afraid to finish recovery.

Once you get to your goal weight, then you can be relieved and think, "I don't have to gain, I don't have to lose--I can just eat like a regular person." At this point you want to eat like a regular person, but stay at your low weight. I'm sorry, but we have to let go of this reasoning. The fact is, either you be unhappy eat less calories, and stay skinny, or be happy, eat slightly more, and be slightly heavier (in muscle, even). I now eat a healthy number of calories with exercise every day. I feel as if I've gained weight, but everyone says that they can't tell. So I'd rather go with what others say than to hang on to my distorted view.

I think you should try eating more. I seriously doubt that you will gain close to 7 lbs on your trip, so relax! As long as you don't eat canoes full of ice cream and pool-sized cakes, you will not gain a lot of weight on one silly trip! I know you can recover, girl. You know you can always message me if you need to talk. :)

hey muttlover.

I know, trust me.

I just want to know what I can do like...I want to get this right. What amount should I eat, what sort of exercise should I do...etc.

I need help thus me wanting to come here, so Im really not here just to maintain my 108, but actually to get healthy and do things the right way, thast all.

thank

Wanting to "do things right" means you are not ready to let go of your control. I'm not saying to go crazy and eat 4000+ calories or eat every cookie in sight. I'm only suggesting that you do not count every calorie, eat until you are satisfied/full, and weigh yourself every few days. If you find you are gaining weight, decrease your potions a bit. If you find you are losing weight, increase portions.

I know it is tough, but a big part of recovery is letting go of your control. That's a major part of en ED--having a sense of power from controlling your food and calories.

In a way I understand what you mean but my problem is I get scared that I dont eat enough if I dont count.

for example today I was busy thinking about things I had to do, and didnt notice that it was almost 3 in the afternoon and I had not had my lunch (I usualy have it at around 1:30 to 2 because I wake up really early. I didnt notice because I was busy plus I wasnt hungry. If I were to go by my hunger pains or what not, Id end up with too few calories, and that concerns me, plus now that I dont have my period, counting my calories to make sure I eat plenty to nourish my body to get my period back is priority.

I know that eventually Ill stop counting (once I get my portions under control) but for now I want to make sure Im eating enough and not just going by instinct (I really dont know how to anymore, so like I said, I need to get used to it).

so i know counting cals isnt "normal" but i cant go by hunger/satierty cues either, their screwed up as a result of the ED and undereating...i need to eat according to an atleast semi-strctured plan in order to ensure im eating enough, and that is waht id suggest to u as well.  once youre at a healthier weight you can then learn to rely on your body, but youre not there, your body is hungry and you need to nourish+heal it.  make a plan and stick to it!  108 is too low, you want health-not a number and deff not that one!

gl!

I'm 5'4 and I think the healthiest low weight according to the BMI index is 118. I think you will be suprised to see that you can look good at 120.

lol everybody here thinks that Im making excuses with the 115 thing. Im not making this up. Until last year Ive been 115, and I didnt do anything to lose that weight, but eat normal amounts of food. Heck, I even ate a lot of xmass that year, and I only gained 2 pounds, and was back to 115 once I got back home, without the need of dieting or exercising. Like seirously, nothing...I would eat ice cream, candy, you name it, and my weight would stay put at 115.

If I were to be heavier before, I would admit here and now, because there is no need to lie...I appreciate ppl telling me its "too low" but if its been my weight all my life, I was at optimum health, I had my period, and everything was perfect, I dont see a problem.

My mom and my dad (who is a doctor) keep telling me to get back to that weight, because its where my body likes to be in...I was very active for 15 years of my life (volleyball player since age 6) and practiced 5 full days a week, meaning I had those workouts, so Im guessing having that athlete background my body drew its set point on this weight.

I just need guidance on eating, thats all....

and I still havent got that :(

117 wouldn't be a bad starting point as it's a BMI of 20.  Below 20 is when menstruation tends to start failing.  Don't forget that you're a little older now and therefore your body is slightly less resilient than it might have been in the past.   If your periods didn't return at BMI 20  then you'd maybe need to get it higher... 21 or so.  If you're entirely sedentary - and that's very difficult to achieve unless you never get out of bed -  you should technically gain weight initially on 2000 cals per day.  However, if you're even slightly active e.g a short walk each day, it's going to be 2500 that you need.   If you don't gain weight steadily at this level you'd have to increase it until you did.   A side-effect of increased eating is that metabolism can also increase.... so again, it might mean you needed more.

Guidance on eating.... try initially  3 x 400-600 cal meals plus 500 cals of snacks in between.   (If you decide to add short walks to your day then aim for 3 x 500-700 cal meals plus 700 cals of snacks.)  Aim for a balanced diet of all the food groups and try to get as big a variety of foods as possible.   Choose plenty of the energy-dense, low-bulk foods that you find in the 'official high cal foods list' at the top of the board.  And include foods like chocolate as part of the strategy.  Plan your day ahead of schedule so that you're comfortable that you're fitting it all in.  Don't wait to do this until after the holiday... if you're serious then you have to start straight away.  In a month you could achieve great things.

If you have a tendency to forget to eat and if your appetite has been suppressed by being underweight and undereating then you need to eat by the clock until you're back into the habit.   Regular meals interspersed with regular snacks.  Put it this way...  If you had some fatal disease and were told that you needed to take medication precisely every 3 hours to get better, you'd set the alarm....   This is the same sort of thing.   Prioritise meals and work the rest of your life around them from now on.... both for weight-gain and ultimately to maintain the new weight.  You need to be looking at 6 - 18 months to get your new eating habits firmly entrenched.

Hope something in there helps.

So I should be having 2,000+ cals?

Ive searched everywhere on the web for my intake...I am sedentary, I barely go outside and walk..all I do ina day is basicly sit infront of the computer, watch tv....occassionaly  stand up to use the bathroom and make my food and my boyfriend's food, get water etc. So yes I get little to no activity in a day. All calculators have given me an amount of 1,600 on completely sedentary days...If I were to do somet walkign and what not Id have to increase to 1,750-1,800...still pretty much sedentary but moving more than I am. If I were to exercise and keep active aside, I would have to consume 1,900-2,100 cals, and so on as activity levels increase.

I mean how off can these calculators be? CC itself tells me to consume 1,600 on sedentary days.

Im just very confused. Saturday I exercised for 70 minutes, and ate 1,800 faithfuly and ended up gaining half a pound. So its like exercise is a no? maybe my body is stressing out from it and hence the gain? I havent dropped that weight so it was real weight. Plus now I am gainign still at 1,600...Im very much just confused and overwhelmed...not knowing whats happening in my body makes things a lot harder.

My dad suspects I hvae PCOS...but I already have a very control carbohydrate diet...so it cant be insulin resistance? Im starting to think it may be hormonal imbalance (hence the loss of periods as well). But then again it could be something else like hypothyroidism...this is why Im visiting my doctor tomorrow to get those tests done...and see what happens from there.

I just wonder if this is normal to happen to someone like me recovering or if anyone has gone through this that could advice me a bit....

I'm also 20 and have been in recovery for almost a year, and 5'4 and weigh about the same as you. Right now, i'm gaining on really low calories because my metabolism is still really screwed up. Rather than counting calories, i'd recommend eating by food group. There are so many accurate websites that will tell you how much starch (carbs), protein, fruits, etc. that a young woman needs every day. And don't skip on calcium!! It's so important for bones. This website is good for tracking those kinds of things because the nutrition data goes beyond just the "number" in the food. I see a nutritionist 2-3 times a month, so i hope this helps you, too.

I think you're over-analysing it, to be honest.   Forgetting the calculators for a moment, you'll gain quickly at first if you've been chronically undereating whether you eat a little more or a lot more.   That's the experience of a lot of people.     So you'll gain at 1800, you'll gain at 2000 and you'll gain at 2500.   So what if CC tell you 1600?  If you want to recover to 117lbs wouldn't it be better to get it out of the way and get there sooner?  

Once you're at your goal, then worry about staying there. 

Perhaps your weight gain is due to slow metabolism due to the fact that you used to eat less then the required minimum. I think it's quite possible that while you're in recovery you will gain a bit more than your goal weight and you cannot do anything about it not to screw up with your recovery. But once things settle down, you should get back to the weight your body feels most comfortable with.

yeah I mean I bet my metabolism has slowed because of what I did to it....I can only hope that I can go back to normal and not have to worry much...either way Im just scared , and worried, thats all. I keep reading around about how girls recovering had gained all the weight back plus some and are unable to lose those extra pounds....so that puts a but of pressure on me, more than I would like, so its very frustrating.

My boyfriend keeps telling me to not worry, that Ill prolly stop gainin gat 115-118 because its my "happy weight"...I hope this is true...I mean not all girls recovering have gained all that weight back...actually some girls have managed to keep a more healthy weight below what they were, but still healthy.

we'll see

thanks all for replying

I'd kick up the calories to 1800 - 2000 and add a bit of activity (as long as it's fun!!), which would also bump your appetite, AND but off a bit of excess - when you reach a good solid BMI (like 22 - 23) you can back off a little bit.

But I also like the advice of giving up the obsession of counting everything - I like to do it, but I'm trying to loose weight.

As for activity, a fun sport like tennis, swimming, golf, running, biking (any of those sound fun?) would really change your metabolism and give you a real appetite

I tried doing the whole upping and adding activity, it worked for like 2 weeks and then I was back to gaining :/ plus I should be able to maintain on 1,600 even without exercise....so this is why I get so confused...or maybe Im supposed to maintain on a higher number, or this is jus tmy body wanting me to gain weight period hehe...

Im not one to do exercise, tho I do intend to buy a treadmill as soon as I can and walk an hour a day (that I can really compromise to, because I love walking)....but for now I have to settle for being here at home....