Had a very discouraging day, and need some motivation

I've just been out looking for a prom dress, and have had a lot of trouble finding a good size. Some of them fit, some of them didn't... none of them really looked fabulous, none of them were truly comfortable. I recently put on weight, probably due to the stress I'm under as I near the end of high school. This is probably the first time I've ever not been able to fit into some of my clothing. I horseback ride and my mom bought me a gorgeous $500 show jacket last year, and it doesn't fit me anymore. It's so frustrating. I'd been on a good track - I wasn't really losing weight, but I was generally comfortable, and now I'm just going downhill. To make matters worse, my parents think my weight gain is due to depression - I'm not depressed, I'm probably the happiest person ever, but the fact they think that upsets me. They don't get to see me at my best because they're gone at work from the early morning to late at night.

Anyway... I'm just very discouraged. There are so many things I want to do that I don't feel comfortable doing because of my weight. I love to swim, and I always make excuses not to go to the beach because I'm so self-conscious. I never wear fitted clothing, other than jeans, when I used to wear cute polos all the time. It just SUCKS, to put it simply. Not to mention my parents say they're supportive, and then go and buy junk food. I know I should learn to resist, which I do a lot, but there comes a time when a bag is just sitting there and I just want it. They don't really do anything on their end to help me out. I'm pretty sure some of my weight gain has to do with the fact that I now work at Starbucks, and basically have the WORST food available to me for free all the time. But I must say I've been cutting back A LOT... and bringing my own meals.

I don't really know where to start, and I don't want to get back into the binging and fasting pattern that I used to do. At one point I was even making myself throw up, and it was horrible. I don't want to feel terrible after everytime I eat, and I don't want to hate how I look everytime I pass by a mirror. I want to do this the healthy way because I know unhealthy will just lead to worse things in the future.

I am so confident in who I am as a person, and I care about myself, and I want to be comfortable with my body... I just don't know where to start.

If you read this, thank you. :)

Get a goal and stay focused.  I suggest you eat before you go to work because although the food is free - the pounds cost you something.  I walk for an hour at a brisk pace, it's a routine not over the top so maybe you can stick with it.  I walk while listening to my favorite songs or watching tv.  You can do it, just stick to it! 

What an amazingly open and honest post!  It is so refreshing to hear someone your age speak as you just have. Unfortunetly you dont mention your height or weight or your body shape (pear, hourglass etc.) so I can get an idea of what would be a good style prom dress to look for.

I am so happy to hear you are a happy person who just happens to realize she needs to take control of her eating/healthy habits!  There are many ways for you to approach this situation, first eat BEFORE you go to work- get stuffed on veggies or other healthy food so your less likely to nibble at work...(I am a starbucks freak as well, it is my weakness, only thing that saves me is it is a 45 min drive away!)

Keep in mind you should make yourself a goal of a healthy lifestyle, not a diet kiddo....diets suck and they dont work long term...healthy eating habits and exercise/activity is what works long term.  I was in the army 6 years and learned that lesson there.  Since I have gotten out, (I have rheumatoid arthritis and have had to slow down) I have gained 20 unwanted pounds, which is why I am here.

I want to ask you to talk to your parents as well....ask them one on one or both together....to help you be healthier...NOT diet.  As a parent, I can almost be positive this will be a better way to approach the topic.  I would be very worried if m 15 y/o daughter told me she wanted to diet, but when she told me she wants to be healthier, it is what got me motivated to come here.  Tell who ever shops you want snacks, but different ones....OR you can take the snacks in the house and make yourself "hundred calorie bags"  to do this, take a ziplock and the snack you are wanting and count/measure/weigh a 100 calorie portion.. This way you have the fun snack, but a sufficient amount to satisfy without going overboard.

Sorry started to ramble, I will stop here but you can

email me bck if you would like to email more about this!

Megnnay - you can do this! The hardest part about starting a new lifestyle (I say that instead of dieting now) is getting in the right mindset. It seems like you are already there mentally, and now just have to implement a few things to get going.

I know riding is good exercise, but you should try and fit more activity in. The more you exercise the more calories you can consume per day. For example, I try and keep a 500 calorie deficit on all days.  When I work out, I get an additional 400-500 free calories and still manage to keep my deficit. It is really helpful when things come up that are a bit out of your control like soical events or prom!

Don't give up, dedicate yourself to it - and you'll do great!!

Thanks everyone for your very helpful and informative posts. I like the idea of making my own 100 calorie bags! The thing I have the most problems with is figuring out what I can eat depending on how much I exercise. It's so frustrating because one day I will be super healthy and then totally fail the next day. I always feel terrible and disappointed in myself after eating it, but I do it again anyway.

Had another wake up call... I was trying on skirts and none of them fit me. Two really pretty skirts I have that used to be big on me don't fit. :( What a bummer...

I really think I need a formal program to get me motivated, something like Weight Watchers, which I've been meaning to join. It just seems like so much work to count points and stuff. It would definitely help me because I'll know that I have to do a weigh-in, and it won't just be me knowing my weight. A while back I was going to the gym regularily, which I should start doing again (just gotta get over my fear of going to the gym alone!)

I'm sick of telling myself I'm going to change, and then never doing it. I want to change so badly, for myself, and I'd like to be able to be more comfortable for when I start university in September... do you think this is a reasonable amount of time?

I used to work at a starbucks, so I know how tempting and frustrating snacking there can be. What I used to do while I was working was to drink lots and lots of iced black tea with splenda or water, and whenever anyone tried to split up a chocolate muffin or something I would just drink the tea instead.

Luckily that is a very active job too, by the time I left I was able to carry six gallons of milk at once!

That's what I'm trying to do as well! I drink the regular passion tea with halfsweet classic syrup... it's tastey, and not too bad for you, and helps me resist!

Routine, routine and routine is the best lifestyle and you do have the mindset. I always use the 100 calorie snacks, I have about four a day.

 In my routine:

Breakfast 9:30am

Snack 11:00am (100 calories)

Lunch 1:00pm

Snack 3:00pm (100 calories)

Snack 5:00pm (100 calories)

dinner 7:00pm 

and only if I need it one more snack before bed. All about routine works for me.

Not diet!!