Me vs. the chihuahua, I'm losing

So, I moved in with my boyfriend and this wretched dog about a year ago.  I didn't really have an opinion on her upon moving in, but now, I HATE her. She pees everywhere, she's ridiculously submissive, and she won't let me get anywhere near her. This is particularly  unfortunate b/c the boyfriend works a lot and I end up having to take care of her.  She was the most submissive of three dogs (the other two died) and there seems to be no improvement even though she's the only one now.

She's 13 years old, horribley trained, and obsessed with my boyfriend (I realize this is a chihuahua trait). But she won't let him out of her sight! it's like, she can't be ina room without him and them if she comes in and I'm there she pees!  I hate her!  Anyone have any suggestions? I would really like to be able to live in harmony in my own home.  I'm sure she is miserable too. Everything smells like urine.  It makes me want to break up and move out.  ugh.

at least it gives me an excuse to get out of the house and go to the gym.....

Ahhhh lol! Wow that has to suck!!!

Have you considered talking to your boyfriend about the dog?

wow, there is a programme on in england about dogs that just rule the household and someone comes in for a week to put them in order!!  obviously i don't know waht to do but i'm pretty sure there is something you can do to make it behave itself becaue thats not on - the show basically teaches the dog about how teh humans are above them in the chain and they are at the bottom!!  maybe get a book about chihuahas and get advice from it about retraining it???  might take some work and persistance but thinking its the only thing to do - waiting around and yelling at it defo isn't going to work!

good luck!

yeah, the boyfriend and I fight about the frickin dog all the time.  he's very protective of her.  I've been trying to read up on it and lots of the vet websites say that you need to love and cuddle the dog when they submissively pee.  I'm like....sick....she pees in her crate, then rolls around in it!  I don't even want to touch her!  and she's a long-haired chihuahua.  Doubly gross.  Shoot me in the face!

LOL!!  sorry but your making it sound hilarous!!  i totally understand its now tho - but what with your boyf taking the dogs side??  thats a bit annoying!!

surely you both need to work together to sort this out??  he should be lucky enough you even aloud the dog to move in!

haha, well, it is rather funny due to the complete ridiculousness of the situation.  And yes, the boyfriend takes the dog's side.  I'm like, why don't you go make out with the dog then....thanks.  I'm starting to think there may some kind of deep seeded psychological issue with him and the dog! haha!  Actually the situation is further complicated by the fact that he has no sense of smell (weird) so he can't smeel the all-encompassing Urine smell permeating everything!  sick!

If it really bothers you that much just tell him it's the dog or me! I know that's not the best advice but it's all I could think of. Or put rat poison in her food! LOL J/K

Ok trying really hard to say this with a straight face... The dog is 13 years old, how much longer do you figure you have to deal with this.. (OMG did I actually say that) at 91 in dog years her peeing days are probably numbered.  If she is crate trained and you have only been there for a year then let her stay in the crate and live the life she had before you moved in.  It was obviously working before you got there so there is really no cruelty issue here.   She is your b/f dog let him deal with her and tell him the next dog is yours to pick out and train when this one goes to the doggie hydrant in the sky.

the vets say you need to coddle the dog when it submissively pees???  That doesn't seem to make sense to me...

I'm no vet, but i would think that if a dog is being too submissive you need to AVOID coddling it... b/c then won't it just think something is wrong?

I know enough about dogs to know that they don't feel 'reassured' when they are cuddled/loved, they may think something is wrong.  They're not like humans, in that way.  Plus wouldn't that be like rewarding them for the behavior you want to stop? 

Wouldn't it be better to ignore the dog when it's being too submissive, and praise/cuddle when it is relaxed and not peeing everywhere? 

snow, I agree!  I think its crazy!  but thats what I keep reading!  at least with the "scared pee" it apparently is counterproductive to discipline the dog, even with a strong "no".  I think its more complicated that that though because she does both the "scared pee" and the "I'm not potty trained pee" especially if its raining out.  she'll go outside pee a little so you let her in...then come back in and finish! AGh!

And she is crate trained.....although only if you consider her peeing in the crate as crate-trained.... The vets also say that dogs won't do that because they don't want to pee in their "house" but she does! 

She's is old, which is good (I'm mean, I know) but she does seem to be perfectly healthy....

oh life.....

Hate to break it to you, but little dogs can live to near or past 20 years. 

No advice, other than try and  get her to like you.  Have you tried carrying treats around?  Maybe if she associates you with food/good things, she won't freak so much.

i know that chihuahuas at least need a 'gentle touch'.  I am used to bulldogs, bull terriers, labs, big dogs that you NEED to talk sternly to. 

I tried to play with my friend's chihuahua outside and when i wanted it to come in, I talked to it ("Get!  Get inside!")  like i would one of my big dogs, and it got so scared!  LOL!  You would think i had hit it!!!  So wierd.  I would never want a chihuahua. 

Yeah, it wouldn't make sense to discipline her when she nervous-pees, but it woulcn't make sense to cuddle or love on her either... save all that for the times you are actually happy with her behavior. 

I like tiamat's food idea too.  Just be careful b/c i know you can't give little dogs too many treats. 

PS no peeing in the crate is NOT crate-trained.... hmm maybe she has a physical problem?  Like no bladder control?  Maybe she should just wear a diaper lol.  Seriously though, don't they make diapers for dogs now? 

Little dogs are incredibly sensitive to your tone of voice. Raising your voice, or sounding angry will just make her pee more. If she's peeing out of submissiveness then she's scared. Real scared. I think the best thing you could do would be to find an animal behaviorists. Make sure they have experience with chihuhuas because they are completley different to other dogs. And most importantly make sure they are positive reinforcement behaviorists. That means they don't yell, or hit, or use choker chains. Cesar Millan's techniques are the type you want to avoid. They are out-dated and often more harmful than helpful, especially with a small, sensitive dog. Working with a good behaviorist will bring you and the dog closer and you may actually come to like and love her.

For 18 yrs  I listen to my husband soon to be x complain about the dogs. I had well behaved dogs . He just doesn't like animals in the house.  After our 2 dogs died at the age of 17 and 18 I never wanted to get another one. I ended up with my mom's.  The ex and I are trying to work things out and I'm trying to find someone to take the  dog.  Can someone tell me (I know what you already wrote) do they really bother you so much that you cannot relax in your house cause they want your attention. It's funny that this question came up today since hub and were talking about the dogs last night and said he really hated having them around. Wonder it other feel this way so I know he's not just be controlling.

Gypsierose - yes, I feel the same way as your ex, and I grew up with a dog. It's not just the smell and the hair and that yucky oily stuff that gets over everything. It's also that dogs tend to be jumpy and I'm a mellow person so I can't relax. The only dogs I am okay around are ultra-mellow dogs, usually dogs that are really old. But I still wouldn't want to live with the hair and the smell in my house. My husband really wants a dog, but he knew how I felt about this before we got married so he made his choice already.

My chihuahua is going on 2 yrs old (see my pictures) and yes, they are EXTREMELY sensitive.. lol;  Luckily I don't have a problem with her going potty in the house, but I can tell you that I  have to "baby" her.  I have to talk baby talk to her when trying to get her to do something she don't want to do. (like go outside to potty in the rain). 

Mines not so obsessed that she can't let me out of her sight.  She is pretty independant.  Now the terrior mix I have is a different story.. She is the one who has to be near me at all times...

I have learned that when I use a certain tone of voice she tucks her tail and pouts. And then there's no way I'm going to get her to do anything I want.  So if I am getting on to my other dog I have to reassure the chihuahua in a baby voice that I'm not yelling at her.. lol;  Pretty sad, I know...

One thing I did and still do with both my dogs, is constantly ask them if they want to go outside in a perky/fun voice... Both my dogs were housetrained within a month.

I think you are the most selfish, idiotic woman there is. If you treat the dog with respect, she will show you respect. Hopefully she'll pee on your face and you'll go away.

haha wow.  thank you for that enlightening comment.  Clearly, you are an expert.  how dare I be frusturated.  the nerve of me.

I have a min pin which are little drop-kick terrors as well. She's 8 and my husband HATES her with the same fury as you hate your boyfriend's dog. Oh how he hates her. Anyway, she is a fan of the submissive piddle as well. It's been a ongoing nightmare to train her and she only listens when she feels like it. If anyone has been trained, she has trained ME.

What finally worked is a pain in the ass, and I'm lucky I work from home to do it-is taking for TONS of walks during the day. I was letting her out on the tether every hour and I'd still find piddles in the house. Now I take her out for 5 minute walks every couple of hours and no piddles! I don't know what the difference is in her little head, but obviously there's some difference I don't get.

edit: as I'm typing this my dog is downstairs crying her head off because my son just left the house. I swear to God, she thinks my son is her baby.

I have 2 chihuahuas and I assure you, I treat them the same way I treat any dog I have owned - including a staffordshire bull terrier. I have found Cesar Millan - The Dog Whisperer - to be very helpful with reinforcing in my mind what is and isn't appropriate behavior for dogs, as well is what is the "right" way to treat any dog. Dogs are dogs, not minature people, and in order to have a happy dog, you need to treat them as such. Chihuahuas are no different and not that delicate, they can just be horribly manipulative, if you allow them to be.

Exercise, discipline, affection. In that order. My chihuahuas get walked 5-10km (3-6miles) a day (depending on my mood and the weather) at a rate of 4km/h (2.5mile/h), rain or shine. The improvement in their behaviour since I started that has been dramatic (I was very lazy and bought into the "chihuahuas can get all the exercise they need indoors" claptrap). Once you start walking a dog regularly you build a relationship with her. You are travelling as a "pack" with you as the dominant "pack leader", you walk in the front with them at your side or behind you. I don't mean aggressive or domineering, I mean assertive and in charge.

I am expecting for my dogs to live to 20-25 so hoping she will die soon is not realistic. My suggestion is to watch the Dog Whisperer, or go to his website http://www.dogpsychologycenter.com/ and regularly walk the dog so the two of you can begin to build a relationship.

I agree with p0nda.  Cesar has some great ideas that work with a wide range of dogs.