Wagon Jumpers - April 26 - May 2nd, 2009 (Closed, Waiting List Available)
Welcome
(If you are interested in being on the waiting list, please read below and e-mail me. We currently have a waiting list of 5 people.)
Welcome to the Wagon Jumpers weekly thread. We are a group of CC members who have identified that one of our main challenges with achieving our weight loss, maintenance or general health goals is consistency.
This thread is designed to encourage long term commitment to our goals by publicly declaring them and asking the other members of this thread to hold us accountable. The primary focus of wagon jumpers is not how much weight you have lost, or need to loose, but what you need to do on a daily basis to meet your long term goals.
There are two rules for Wagon Jumpers:
1. All members must post once per week between Sunday and Friday.
2. All members must check the thread for members who have not posted by Saturday (a short list is posted on Thursday) or are on the MIA list on Sunday and send them a polite and positive message to stay involved in the group and on track with their goals.
If you would like to be a member of this thread please see the guidelines below and send me a PM if you are still interested (there may be a waiting list).
Medium Size Group = Some Time Commitment
The original idea of Wagon Jumpers was to create a close community where participants could get to know each other and hopefully form virtual-life and perhaps even physical-life bonds to create a support network as they attempted long term weight loss.
We quickly discovered that this was impossible with an 'always open' group as there were too many people coming and going. For this reason the group is capped at 30 participants.
A medium sized group means that we have an active thread that produces between 40 - 60 posts per week. Members do not need to read / respond to every post every week. I do notice that those who respond regularly do tend to keep their goals top of mind, and have a better chance to achieve them. I estimate the average time spent by an active member on Wagon Jumpers to be between 1-2 hours per week.
If you are looking for an always open group on CC there are several that operate by different weight criteria, similar motivational patterns etc... There are also many small groups that cap their numbers between 4-10 people to keep the group more intimate, and easier for members to keep up with.
Interested in Joining?
General Guidelines for Joining
1. Are you a wagon jumper?
Do you know how to loose weight, you often have success but then you find yourself loosing interest in your plan, or sabotaging your plan. It's not the "how" to loose weight that is the problem, it's the "how" to stay motivated.
2. Do you have a long way to go?
This group is designed so that members can get to know each other and support each other. Ideally you are planning to be a CC member and part of this forum for at least 6 months or more to achieve your goals and hopefully stay in motivation for a further 6 months or more.
Yes. This is, a long term plan.
3. Do you have the time?
This is a medium sized group, the thread does move fairly quickly each week. If you do not have regular internet access this is likely not the group for you.
Still interested?
Send Supersized a PM. (Please do not reply on the thread)
An overview will be sent to you, you will have a chance to ask questions and an invitation will be sent to you once a spot is open.
Google Group
We have recently added a google group as an option for members, past members, and members on the waiting list. If you would like access to the google group (and are in one of the above categories) send a message to beaglesmuggler (at) roger.com with your username and e-mail address and I will add you to the google group.
Wagon Jumpers Participants
Week 51 Riders:
Supersized 
(myself)
Week 47 Riders:
Week 43 Riders:
Wenchie58 - away May 9th, 2009
Week 41 Riders:
Week 40 Riders - Congratulations on 10 Months!:
Week 36 Riders - Congratulations on 9 Months!:
Week 34 Riders:
Week 31 Riders:
Week 27 Riders:
Week 24 Riders - Congratulations on 6 Months!:
Week 23 Riders:
Week 22 Riders:
Week 21 Riders:
Week 20 Riders - Congratulations on 5 Months!:
Week 19 Riders:
Week 17 Riders:
Week 4 Riders:
Missing In Action:
Missing In Action - 1 Week:
Missing In Action - 2 Weeks:
Current Membership: 20
Current Waiting List: 5
Outstanding Wait List Invites: 0
12 Week CONSISTENCY GOALS
(as set w/o April 5th, 2009)
By June 27th, I will be...
Msmeg1984 - Maintenance: I will continue to eat less than 1800 cals/day on average New: Exercise at least 3x a week at least 9 of the 12 weeks.
Defrog3 - To continue eating healthfully for me and my little fetus, which means I need to stick to 2,000 balanced calories/day. My NEW goal is to start exercising regularly, meaning moving my butt in some fashion for 30 minutes, 3 days a week.
Cawilder - NEW: Attain a 30 / 30 / 40 food combo 80% of the time. MAINTENANCE: Running @ least 5 hours / week and 2X weight lifting.
Unlimitedana - Maintenance goal: Eat 1550-1650 cals a day. New Goal Achieve the 40-40-20 at least two days per week.
Raven21 - 1. Exercise at least 3 x a week (maintenance) 2. Average daily calorie intake of 1450-1650 (new)
Figurethefat - For maintenance: I will continue to complete a minimum of 1,500 exercise minutes per month. New goal: I will drink at least 1.5 litres of water per day.
Supersized - MAINTENANCE: Continue to eat at or below 2,000 cal/day average for at least 6 of 12 weeks, and never over 2,500 cal/day average. NEW: start going to the gym (again), and achieve at least 4 weeks where I attend the gym 3x/week.
Lam7 - NEW GOAL: Participate in our Navan Walking Club 10 Week Program (Tuesdays) starting April 21-June 26; as well as attend 6 "Spring into Spring" Interval Classes which will run on Thursday evenings starting April 9th, 2009.
Constanza - (new) Eat an average of 1700 calories/day. (maintenance) Exercise at least twice weekly (calculated by average)
Thesilverstar121 - Excercising at least 3x a week.
Kyashiis - Maintenance goal:Exercise for a minimum of 20 minutes a day 5 days a week. New goal: I will zig-zag on my food intake consistently throughout the week and end up with an average daily calorie count of 1,200 cals.
Nannygabber - Maintenance goal of doing NROLFW 3x per week with an allowance of two weeks slack for this 12-week session.
Pelkeyjm - Maintenance: Exercise a minimum of 30 minutes at least 3x per week. New Goal: Log ALL food on calorie count.
The_Vitamin_Dominatrix - Maintenance goal - I will continue to eat 1400-1500 calories daily with a ratio of 15% fat, 25% protein, 60% carbohydrates. New goal - Gym or no gym, I will workout 3 to 4 times a week.
Previous Threads:
Wagon Jumpers - April 19 - 25th, 2009
Wagon Jumpers - April 12 - 18th, 2009
Wagon Jumpers - April 5 - April 11th, 2009
Wagon Jumpers - March 29 - April 4th, 2009
Wagon Jumpers - March 22 - 28th, 2009
Wagon Jumpers - March 15 - 21st, 2009
Wagon Jumpers - March 8 - 14th, 2009
Wagon Jumpers - March 1 - 7th, 2009
Wagon Jumpers - February 22 - 28th, 2009
Wagon Jumpers - February 15 - 21st, 2009
Wagon Jumpers - February 8 - 14th, 2009
Wagon Jumpers - February 1 - 7th, 2009
Wagon Jumpers - January 25 - 31st, 2009
Wagon Jumpers - January 18 - 24th, 2009
Wagon Jumpers - January 11 - 17th, 2009
Wagon Jumpers - January 4 - 10th, 2009
Wagon Jumpers - December 28 - January 3rd, 2009
Wagon Jumpers - December 21 - 27th, 2008
Wagon Jumpers - December 14 - 20th, 2008
Wagon Jumpers - December 7 - 13th, 2008
As always all members are encouraged to tag this thread so that it is easy to find.
THIS WEEK'S TOPIC: 1st Quarter, Goal Check-in
That's right, we are 3 weeks into our 12 week goals already. How are you doing on your goal? If you are not on track what can you do to get on track in the next 9 weeks? If you are on track, how will you keep your motivation up?
I'm right on track. The exercise 5 days a week is good. I'm zigging and zagging like crazy and maintaining an average of 1,200 cals a day for the week most of the time. This time around, I think I have managed to make good goals that are doable and still inspiring to me.
I think I might take the time off from the third to the 9th. If I have enough time though, I'll check back in.
I'm excited to do my hike. I just hope my feet hold out...
Hello everyone. I am closer to achieving my goals but am still having some trouble. I was doing great and was eating healthy, logging and working out with my trainer. Then last week came along and I had two weddings,3 birthday celebrations,my students night musical, a field trip and a car wreck. Along of these things zapped my energy and made it difficult to make healthy eating options. Well, that was last week and I am prepared to get right back on track. I am meeting with my trainer today so hopefully that will keep me motivated for this week.
Happy healthy eating and hard work outs to you all!
Hi ya!
I'm doing well this time around--I'm doing a lot of walking and my energy has been up, so a few nights a week I've even been lifting my little 8 lb weights when I get home from work--bicep curls, shoulder presses, that sort of thing. I feel accomplished!
Jessica--A car wreck?? Hope you're OK?!?
Hey all - My goals are on track - my average calories over the past 3 weeks are at 1741 and i'm doing excellent on the exercise. Since the weather has warmed up, i've either been walking with a friend at work or going for a nice run over lunch time.
A friend and I are signed up for a 5k on May 9th! It will be my first time running in a race :) After that is over, I will definately be ready to restart NROLFW. I'm tired of feeling all jiggly! That should keep me motivated! I like seeing how my strength progresses and its cool to see muscles start popping up.
Jessica - Car wrecks are no fun... Thats the worst soreness i've ever felt before in my life. Hope you are ok.
Kathy - Have a good time on your hike, you are doing awesome with your eating. I wish I could be as disciplined with myself!
I was ok after thw wreck. The only injury that I had(and the only one from the wreck) was a knot and bruise just below my elbow where I had it resting on the door. I was sore afterwards but I had also gone canoeing early that day and I think alot of the soreness was from that.
ok, to refresh my goals are:
NEW: Attain a 30 / 30 / 40 food combo 80% of the time. MAINTENANCE: Running @ least 5 hours / week and 2X weight lifting.
I have been failing big time at the food thing! Emotional eating. I am trying to get it together and set up some mini goals each day. Honestly, right now I just want comfort food and for me that means bagels / cream cheese; baked goods like muffins, breads, etc. So, now I make deals with myself on it and I am slowing going down in my consumption of them.
I have had a killer cold this past week and so I have felt terrible but I still was able to run 2X and do 2 boot camp classes. Even though I complained through the Tuesday night class - I did not expect we would do so much running and I did not wear my running bra so I was flopping all over the place - really uncomfortable. I usually wear one really tight one or two running bras.
We did go on a nice hike this Sunday and took Katie the dog. She is sacked out with her face on my feet - nice warm doggy breath to moisturize your feet - yeah.
I am still struggling with my husband and his feelings towards my lack of food control and exercise. He just freaks out all over the place. It is his stuff and he really does not understand. Food is very linear to him and so is hunger and that is not the way that I process my feelings about food.
I am going to try real hard to get into the best frame of mind here. It's just kinda hard.
jessica - Glad to hear the wreck wasn't too bad!
carol (oops - sorry I wrote cathy earlier) - i'm right there with you on the bad eating thing lately. Some days, I do really well and keep to my goals, but as the end of the semester draws near, we don't have as much time for cooking and I crave everything I shouldn't be eating. Pizza, pasta, cake, etc. Anyway, I'll keep you in my thoughts about your husband's attitude. That must be pretty difficult sometimes. It's difficult when the other person can't or won't try to see something from a different perspective. :-/
As far as my check-in goes, I'm about 50% on the calories so far and 50% on the exercise. So that's an improvement in exercise, but further from success on the calorie deficit... I'm in need of a white board for the refrigerator to write this stuff down on!
Speaking of refrigerators - ours broke down today. Other than that, it's been a great weekend really. Tomorrow might be my last crazy day of the semester and then its graduation!
Goal Check In I'm doing okay on my goals, I went to the gym 2 times last week, planning 2 for this week as I'm still quite sore, but I'm sure that will allow me to get to the gym at least 3 times of four weeks in the next nine weeks. I'm having more trouble with the food. I've been good at keeping it under 2,500 cal/day on average, but I've yet to get a week at under 2,000 cal/day. This means I only have 3 more weeks of slack. I'm trying to get it under 2,200 this week and hopefully go for 2,000 next.
Carol There's a large part of me that wants to give your husband a smack. I find in general men tend to have more linear thinking about diet than women, we'll see how much that holds up in the next 50 years, but for the time being, it's likely women have more body image pressure, and conflicting messaging. Is it at all possible to explain to him that him flipping out will only exacerbate things? If you have to worry about getting him under control and getting your food under control then the least he can do is get himself under control and leave you to manage the food. The best he can do is find a way to be supportive, and supportive doesn't mean telling you how he would do it, it means understanding what you need emotionally to feel secure and positive about what you can do and then building on those successes. If you are feeling like whatever you do is not enough, then you will not want to try at all.
Carol - Its so frustrating when the person you need support from the most isn't doing a good job at giving it. Men just don't understand how women relate to food period.
Example - whenever we see those weight watcher's momentum program commercials on TV, (you know, the ones with the little orange monster trying to tempt people into eating??) i've made a comment or two about "That is so true - i go through that on a daily basis." And my BF looks at me and is like "Oh no you don't. That doesn't really happen"..... WHAT?@!
Of course this is coming from a man who can survive on eating just one meal a day - dinner... Which makes it easier for him to drink a couple beers after work or eat half a bag of cookies and have no problems with his weight whatsoever. However, he is very supportive when I need it, even though he doesn't understand exactly what i'm going through. However - the way we got to this point is by me explaining myself to him - what triggers me to eat, what makes me jump off the wagon etc. Once he understood what I was doing and saw that it was what I wanted to do (and needed to do) he was the best support person I could ask for.
Hi Sara,
Yep, I pretty much wanna smack him too. The other day I took another tact and said well if you gave me more reassurance and comfort then perhaps the food would not be the issue. But, you stress me out to the point of making me totally frantic that sometimes is what causes me to turn to food.
So, he kind of did a double take. We will see if it elicits any change. I don't think that he has realised that his unemployment, my mother and then also my daughter's issues have weighed on me, because honestly, I come from the northeastern USA and there you are taught to suck it up and get it done because you don't have a choice. So, I don't whine about stuff.
Thus, msmeg I do agree that I am probably not open with him about my food issues. Maybe that cuts so close to the bone that it is very difficult to share.
You know you see these women who are perfectly sculpted and you read behind the scenes what they have to do to get that way - that is alot of time that most of us just don't have. Still hoping to win the lottery and then I can have the trainer, nutritionist, cook, masseuse, muscle release person, pilates instructor, etc.
HA HA...
Thanks you guys...
Sorry I went missing there for a little bit. After we got back from vacation things were a little hectic. And I was so dissapointed with myself that i didn't really want to face you all. I made horrible food choices on this trip. It's like as soon as we left I forgot all about making good choices with food and I didn't even pay attention to what I was putting in my mouth and I am very dissapointed with myself. It's also been really hard to get back in the swing of things and even being home hasn't really encouraged me to eat better, but hopefully being back to WJ's I'll do a little better. Thank you Sara, MsMeg, and Carryonandon for sending me messages to come and check in.
As for as my goal is concerned, I've been doing really good. We did a lot of excercising on vacation. A lot of walking I should say. But I need to start doing a lot more at home. What I like to do is go for a walk outside but the weather has been awful here lately (raining and cold all the time) so that has kind of been my excuse not to excerise. It's just that I don't have a back up plan for those days when I can't be outside. I can't do the gym (money is an issue with me and my husband) and so when the weather is bad i just don't do anything. Does anyone have any ideas. I'm so lost.
Hey all,
I want you to know how much I MISS all of this and you guys!!
CHECKIN:
Last week was a bust on the exercise. It will have to qualify as one of my two slack weeks. I did great on the eating, and even though I am not requiring myself to log this time around, I am 100% certain that I have been in line with my calories and protein. Mainly due to the fact I have not had TIME to eat, and have been staving off hunger with protein bars, nuts, and yogurt.
I learned last 12 weeks how to manage my macronutrients, and the 12 weeks prior to that I learned portions. And it amazingly seems to be sticking in my subconscience. I am still losing about 2 lbs a week (as of last week during the one time I made it to the gym) - and I am looking forward to getting to workout this evening.
I spent about 32 hours last week driving on the roads of WV to Charleston and back, looking for and securing (YAY!) a place to live. I was disappointed that I wasn't making it to the gym... except for one time, which I knew pretty much ahead of time would be the only time I would make it, so I made it an EXTRA good workout, and actually had sore muscles for a couple of days, which I really love! ( I know... sicko, right?) Now, its all done but the packing. WHEW. Which, I am consistently tackling at every available moment. And I am looking forward to not having to drive anywhere for the next two weeks, so I can focus on the packing and getting to the gym on my regular schedule.
Sara - I read over last week's thread, and saw that you had asked me what Old Bay is.... Its a spice which I imagine is predominant on the Eastern Shore here in the US, and is primarily used on seafoods like Crab and Shrimp. (I like it on chicken too) Its more than just a spice though, its nostalgia. When I think of it, I think of Maryland, and the Chesapeake Bay... and - I can remember several years ago, I went as a camp counselor to Camp Wabanna on an inlet of the Bay, where the waters are brackish. I was with a teen group, who were supervised by a bunch of waterdog adults. We all took our wetsuits, watertubes, kneeboards, etc... to use with the couple of speedboats that had been taken. One of the counselors had a few crab traps which he dropped into the waters off the pier, and by the end of the week we had enough blue crab for an outright feast. They turn red when you steam them, it is SO SAD!! But we laid out newspaper on a few long tables, and just piled them high with the hot seasoned crabs and went to crackin' - SO FUN! That was my first experience with Old Bay... interesting that it all took place right on the Bay where it was founded. I haven't been able to let it go since. I use it almost daily. Here's a link: http://www.oldbay.com/
*still reminiscing* LOL - those were the good ol days...... sunburned faces, cool evenings, and CRAB. Mmmmm.... That was a good night's sleep. I am sure of it. Sorry... off on a rabbit trail there... hehe.
Carol - You know... I've mentioned before that I am in the same situation with my guy. It is almost aggravating that since I am losing and looking a bit better, that I find him paying more attention to me. It really does prove that men do not think with their brain. LOL! I think I also said before that once I get to looking real good, I'd up and give him the boot just for his behaviour. *sigh* trouble is I love the goofy guy. Oh well, it was a pleasant fantasy.
I wish I had some mantra that would tip you over psychologically. I can tell you that 90% of the battle with food is between your ears, not in your stomach. I guess with me, I had to find "other" priorities. Force myself to put those things first, and disregard any gnawing notions for donuts or corn chips. I had to decide which I wanted more...
Part of my strategy included cleaning out my cupboards, and filling them with things that would meet my macronutrient goals. Having the macronutrient goal was probably the best thing I've ever done diet wise. Additionally, the challenge of it was what made it work for me. I had to "prove" I could actually figure out how, and make it happen. Who did I have to prove that to? No one really, except myself.
Here's where the psychology happens. It's about success. If you can start with little things, like your mini-goals (great plan, by the way!) - one little success, gets you to start believing that you can, and you start trusting yourself to take it to the next level. I've said it so many times... success breeds success... don't prove it to HIM... prove it to YOU! I know you can. (*sigh* - I know I am preachin' to the choir here... and am sure I've said nothing you haven't heard before... but I am with the others on here, short of smacking him, I don't know what else to say! LOL!)
Meg - I know that monster all to well, also. I call him Self-Doubt Personified. In fact, I was very upset at WW for bringing him to reality. Everytime I see one of those commercials, the hairs on my neck bristle. It raised an actual fear to the surface of my conscience, one that I had merely buried, I think. It caused me to realize I need to deal with that monster more severely! Its almost as if I was forced to acknowlege that it really does work that way, and I did NOT want to accept it! It also made me realize I wasn't letting go totally of the self-destructiveness of hanging onto the "possibility" that I might fail at this... see what I mean about psychology? What I needed and wanted to feel when I see that little furry bad boy is "HAH... you don't own me any more... I am SOOO done with you!" - or maybe even - "WTF are you doing on TV? You are dead and gone." (humming the song by T.I.) - but that's not what happened... I still have work to do. Self-doubt must perish. LOL.
Well, needless to say, this may be my only "real" post this week. I wish you all healthgain and positive happy thoughts. I'll check in as time permits.
~Julie
ECHOOO - ECCChooooo - Eeeeeccchoooo - eccccchoooooooooooo - hmmm, am I in the wrong place? LOL!
WHERE IS EVERYONE?
Hi everyone!
Check-in:
I've been doing pretty well. I'm pretty sure a large part of my motivation has been my recent move. Life, and my new house, have been so upside down that I've done a great job this last week at calorie counting, and I've gone for a walk every day I could - I managed to get out four times last week. I definitely do a better job at being disciplined when I feel the need to impose control on something in my life. Usually I do that by cleaning, but since I'm limited by my moving boxes, I've got my exercise and calorie log in order instead! So the averages on my little spreadsheet (posting it today, Julie!) are heading to goal level, which is great considering they were waaaay off track a couple weeks ago.
Carol: Today while I was out for my walk I thought about your post - I'd just come to check out the forum before heading out, so WJ was on my mind! Sara and I have compared notes before because we both seem to get things in order health-wise when we're trying to regain control in our lives because they're otherwise crazy. Sounds like you work the opposite way, and the various things going on are making it really tough for you to feel a sense of control these days. That said, I think my 2 cents on the unsupportive hubby note would be to make him get involved too. It's always easy to judge someone when you're on the outside assessing their 'weaknesses' from your own point of view. I imagine you're the main food shopper and meal planner in the house? Do you think if you and he both sat down, on a weekend for instance, and planned the week's meals together, that would be helpful? Planning food in advance always helps me stay on track. And I figure if he knew how much thought and effort goes into creating, and sticking to, a meal plan that is healthy and within a woman's (lower) weight-loss calorie limit, particularly when you're working and short on time, he'd be less critical. It might help him understand your side more, and maybe also help you a little in feeling more in control of your eating and more supported. I know my partner would be a ravenous ogre if he were trying to keep to my calorie limit! Just a thought.
Meg: They really have a hard time getting it. My partner, who's usually very supportive, has a hard time not being temptation personified. These days I've been planning meals a day ahead, logging, and trying to stick to my plan and my calorie limit. And even though he tries to help me stay on track because he knows my goals are important to me, he still can't stop himself from offering me things (usually wine or beer) fairly often. He's better at keeping his cookie-dough craving ways to himself, but even there he slips up at times. It doesn't help that he's got the metabolism of a brush fire. Sometimes I think that offering me things he wants, particularly if I accept (and I'm a peer-pressure eater) is like a kind of permission for him to eat them. Sigh. PS congrats on signing up for the 5K!
Jessica: Sounds like a rough rough week! Hope things are getting better quick!
SilverStar: I'm exactly the same - if I feel guilty about something it takes me forever to work up the guts to fix it, even though the delay is usually a bigger deal than the thing I feel guilty for, and usually neither is that big a deal to people who aren't me! Don't worry about it. We all fall off the wagon, that's why we're here. On the exercise, I would say get yourself a good raincoat at Ross and go outside. First of all, once you start moving, you won't be as bothered by the cold. Second, you'll feel so hardcore and proud of yourself it'll be a big adrenaline rush. It'll be like conquering the weather! If you try it let us know how it went :)
Julie: You continue to be awesome - good luck with the move! I've been settling into a new place too, and while it's exciting on the one hand, good grief it can be a pain! I hate boxes! lol! But way to go keeping to your diet and making progress anyway.
That's all for now folks!
lol Julie you crack me up!
carol - so glad to hear that you opened up to your husband! For me, the thing I have a hard time opening up to mine about is insecurities about employment and whatnot. So, it's easy to understand about having a difficult topic. Also, sorry to have called you cathy earlier - once in awhile I lapse at names.
silver - hope your vacation was fun despite the bad eating. That happens all too often on vacations. It can be difficult to get back in the swing of things, though. This happened to me back in december when my eating habits needed to change back to normal once I came back from Greece. I could eat more there because the food was healthier and we exercised more. The best thing for me was to just work my way back down to the calorie level I wanted to be at by logging everything on CC. The most frustrating part at first was that I felt a lot more hungry than normal - which is why I had to ease myself back into it.
As far as working out in bad weather goes - I'm still trying to figure that one out myself.
julie - Congrats on losing 2 lbs a week consistently!!! That's great news. Also, I may have missed something, but are you moving to WV?
carryonandon - It's a lateral move... I live in Princeton WV, relocating to Charleston, WV, and thanks for the congrats!
costanza - boxes are my friends... boxes are my friends... boxes are my friends.... WELLLL.... isn't it true? If you repeat something over and over, you eventually believe it? LOL! I will be glad when it is all finished.
Today is another travel day. Ugh. Check with you later.
Happy Healthgain,
~Julie
Carol Sounds like your hubby may have taken a bit of notice when you let him know that he can be a factor in your ability or lack thereof to deal with food issues. I kept thinking on the last two days when you mentioned unemployment, that there was an analogy. I'm sure you're not standing over him telling him how inadequate he is for not having a job right now.... or, even if you are then that would not be a positive motivator to make him feel like he is able to get a job. Same goes for food. When someone is not supporting you in the positive choices you do make, and only focuses on the negative choices then you will never feel empowered to make the positive ones. On one hand it's not like you "need" the support, if you were on your own you could positive talk to yourself. On the other hand because he is in your life he's another hurdle for you to jump every time he makes a negative comment.
With my partners it's been a matter in other areas of my life of telling him how I need to be supported. He likes to cut to the centre of things, find the simple solution and make everything as black and white as possible. Sometimes that's helpful. But, if I don't think things are simple and I just need to vent, then I've had to tell him "this is vent time, not fix it time" and he'll just listen and offer a sounding board rather than try to fix what I will eventually fix myself.
Look at us all playing dear abby. Feel free to tell us where to go as well.
The Silver Star I think the great thing about this group is that you can always rely on the fact that we've been there done that. I take as a given with this group that we are all going to make poor choices at some points, we often will self-sabotage and it's never going to be about the fall, it's about how to get back up.
One of the difficulties I had with other groups is that I would always feel like everyone was moving the ball forward and that I was the only one that wasn't traveling this straight and narrow path. If I had just made other choices, if I had just stuck to the plan, if I had just...
Safe to say it never happened. Now, I know I'm going to fall off, I am going to go to the party and have too much to drink, likely followed by too much to eat. I am going to get into busy craziness at work and then fall apart afterwards.
I've been at this a little over a year now. I still know that I'm not going to travel a straight and narrow path. Heck I'm working on keeping my calories between 2,000 and 2,500 because every time I go below 2,000 I self-sabotage and end up back at 3,500! So.... 2,000 not diet range, but also not 3,500.
In the past year I've learned what my triggers are:
- vacations
- stress
- depression
In that order. Anytime my routine is disrupted I tend to fall off the wagon. I actually do very very well during a stressful period. I plan exceptionally well and keep everything under control. That is until the stress is over, and then I fall apart in a really spectacular way. If I let myself give into too much depression I just stop caring, and eat my way out of it... or well, more into it.
I'm still working on how best to pick myself up. I've learned that I need to start to feel control over food before I can focus on exercise. Water is a distant third for me. I know I need to take really small incremental steps or the change becomes too fast and I get overwhelmed - see stress.
It's a cycle for me. My best and most consistent way to self-sabotage is to take on everything, stress myself out beyond belief and then throw in the towel and give up completely because stuff didn't work.
Anyways all this long ramble just to say, don't worry about coming back and saying you screwed up. We all have, we all will. Now, what little things can you do to start to get yourself back on track?
Hello Everyone!
I have had a chance to read though (although be it quickly) last week thread and this weeks so far. We got back from the Dominican Monday morning at 5am, and I was pretty tired. I have a great tan which is nice and I didn't really limit myself food wise (tried a little bit of just about everything, minus stuff with wheat in it of course) and I didn't get sick at all while I was gone, something people had me worried about.
My mother had also told me to be prepared to gain at least 5 pounds, no matter how healthy I made my choices so imagine my surprise when I weighed myself yesterday and I was down 3 pounds. I don't know what it is, maybe lack of stress, all the walking and swimming, lack of extra additives in the foods, but I'm down another pound this morning. I'm going to go with it though and just try to keep up not eating after 9pm (which is something I do here but didn't do down there).
On the goal front, I don't know about the calories because I didn't track them this past week but I'll start again this week. For exercise, I didn't do my formal exercise routine while on vacation (I had planned to but severely underestimated the heat and it's effect on me, I actually got sun stroke, not too severe but enough to have me pass out momentarily while getting off my beach chair and quite possibly breaking my toe, I'll find out tomorrow at the doctors), but I did walk and swim A LOT. So I guess I'd say I'm about 75% on my goal at the moment but I'm seeing results which makes me happy.
I will try to get back later this week and write more personal replies but work is hectic at the moment and I only had a chance to just drop by and say I'm back and glad to see everything kept on a rolling while I was gone. Also, thanks Sara for the congrats on 10 months, and one thing I'd like to echo in your comments to silverstar is that yes we are all going to fall off the wagon, but with the help of this group we all get back on. I also would tend to avoid the group when I was feeling low because of poor choices I had made, which leads to more poor choices, don't avoid us, we don't judge :)
Well back to work and the real world, I miss the beach :(
Carrie
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