Wagon Jumpers - May 31 - June 6th, 2009 (Closed, Waiting List Available)

Welcome 

(If you are interested in being on the waiting list, please read below and e-mail me. We currently have 1 person on the waiting list.)

Welcome to the Wagon Jumpers weekly thread. We are a group of CC members who have identified that one of our main challenges with achieving our weight loss, maintenance or general health goals is consistency.

This thread is designed to encourage long term commitment to our goals by publicly declaring them and asking the other members of this thread to hold us accountable. The primary focus of wagon jumpers is not how much weight you have lost, or need to loose, but what you need to do on a daily basis to meet your long term goals. 

There are two rules for Wagon Jumpers:

1. All members must post once per week between Sunday and Friday.

2. All members must check the thread for members who have not posted by Saturday (a short list is posted on Thursday) or are on the MIA list on Sunday and send them a polite and positive message to stay involved in the group and on track with their goals. 

If you would like to be a member of this thread please see the guidelines below and send me a PM if you are still interested (there may be a waiting list).

Medium Size Group = Some Time Commitment

The original idea of Wagon Jumpers was to create a close community where participants could get to know each other and hopefully form virtual-life and perhaps even physical-life bonds to create a support network as they attempted long term weight loss.

We quickly discovered that this was impossible with an 'always open' group as there were too many people coming and going. For this reason the group is finding its optimum level is between 20 and 25 participants. 

A medium sized group means that we have an active thread that produces between 30 - 45 posts per week. Members do not need to read / respond to every post every week. I do notice that those who respond regularly do tend to keep their goals top of mind, and have a better chance to achieve them. I estimate the average time spent by an active member on Wagon Jumpers to be between 1-2 hours per week. 

If you are looking for an always open group  on CC there are several that operate by different weight criteria, similar motivational patterns etc... There are also many small groups that cap their numbers between 4-10 people to keep the group more intimate, and easier for members to keep up with. 

Interested in Joining?

General Guidelines for Joining

1. Are you a wagon jumper?

Do you know how to loose weight, you often have success but then you find yourself loosing interest in your plan, or sabotaging your plan. It's not the "how" to loose weight that is the problem, it's the "how" to stay motivated.

2. Do you have a long way to go?

This group is designed so that members can get to know each other and support each other. Ideally you are planning to be a CC member and part of this forum for at least 6 months or more to achieve your goals and hopefully stay in motivation for a further 6 months or more.

Yes. This is, a long term plan.

3. Do you have the time?

This is a medium sized group, the thread does move fairly quickly each week. If you do not have regular internet access this is likely not the group for you. 

Still interested?

Send Supersized a PM. (Please do not reply on the thread)

An overview will be sent to you, you will have a chance to ask questions and an invitation will be sent to you once a spot is open. 

Google Group

We have recently added a google group as an option for members, past members, and members on the waiting list. If you would like access to the google group (and are in one of the above categories) send a message to beaglesmuggler (at) roger.com with your username and e-mail address and I will add you to the google group.

Wagon Jumpers Participants

Year 1 - Week 4 Riders:

Supersized  (myself)

Week 52 Riders - CONGRATULATIONS ON 1 YEAR!!!!:

Msmeg1984

Defrog3

Week 48 Riders:

Wenchie58 - extended sick leave

Week 46 Riders:

Raven21 

Week 45 Riders:

Tiegurl

Week 42 Riders:

Kyashiis

Week 37 Riders:

Unlimitedana

Week 36 Riders - Congratulations on 9 Months!:

Nannygabber

Week 32 Riders - Congratulations on 8 Months!:

Lam7

Week 28 Riders - Congratulations on 7 Months!:

Cawilder

Week 27 Riders:

Figurethefat

Week 26 Riders:

Carryonandon

Week 25 Riders:

Constanza

Week 24 Riders - Congratulations on 6 Months!:

Germaica

Week 20 Riders:

Jessicaanne2001

Week 3 Riders:

Dovelette

Week 1 Riders:

Jnielsen006

New:

Merimeriqcontrary

Missing In Action:

Pelkeyjm

Missing In Action - 1 Week:

Thesilverstar121

Missing In Action - 2 Weeks:

Current Membership: 21

Current Waiting List: 1

Outstanding Wait List Invites: 0

12 Week CONSISTENCY GOALS

(as set w/o April 5th, 2009)

By June 27th, I will be...

Msmeg1984 - Maintenance: I will continue to eat less than 1800 cals/day on average New: Exercise at least 3x a week at least 9 of the 12 weeks.

Defrog3 - To continue eating healthfully for me and my little fetus, which means I need to stick to 2,000 balanced calories/day. My NEW goal is to start exercising regularly, meaning moving my butt in some fashion for 30 minutes, 3 days a week.

Cawilder - NEW: Attain a 30 / 30 / 40 food combo 80% of the time. MAINTENANCE: Running @ least 5 hours / week and 2X weight lifting. 

Unlimitedana - Maintenance goal: Eat 1550-1650 cals a day. New Goal Achieve the 40-40-20 at least two days per week.

Raven21 - 1. Exercise at least 3 x a week (maintenance) 2. Average daily calorie intake of 1450-1650 (new)

Figurethefat - For maintenance:  I will continue to complete a minimum of 1,500 exercise minutes per month.  New goal:  I will drink at least 1.5 litres of water per day.

Supersized - MAINTENANCE: Continue to eat at or below 2,000 cal/day average for at least 6 of 12 weeks, and never over 2,500 cal/day average. NEW: start going to the gym (again), and achieve at least 4 weeks where I attend the gym 3x/week. 

Lam7 - NEW GOAL:  Participate in our Navan Walking Club 10 Week Program (Tuesdays) starting April 21-June 26; as well as attend 6 "Spring into Spring" Interval Classes which will run on Thursday evenings starting April 9th, 2009. 

Constanza - (new) Eat an average of 1700 calories/day. (maintenance) Exercise at least twice weekly (calculated by average)

Thesilverstar121 - Excercising at least 3x a week.

Kyashiis - Maintenance goal:Exercise for a minimum of 20 minutes a day 5 days a week. New goal: I will zig-zag on my food intake consistently throughout the week and end up with an average daily calorie count of 1,200 cals. 

Nannygabber - Maintenance goal of doing NROLFW 3x per week with an allowance of two weeks slack for this 12-week session.

Pelkeyjm - Maintenance: Exercise a minimum of 30 minutes at least 3x per week. New Goal: Log ALL food on calorie count.

Previous Threads:

Wagon Jumpers - May 17 - 23rd, 2009

Wagon Jumpers - May 10 - 16th, 2009

Wagon Jumpers - May 3 - 9th, 2009

Wagon Jumpers - April 26 - May 2nd, 2009

Wagon Jumpers - April 19 - 25th, 2009

Wagon Jumpers - April 12 - 18th, 2009

Wagon Jumpers - April 5 - April 11th, 2009

Wagon Jumpers - March 29 - April 4th, 2009

Wagon Jumpers - March 22 - 28th, 2009

Wagon Jumpers - March 15 - 21st, 2009

Wagon Jumpers - March 8 - 14th, 2009

Wagon Jumpers - March 1 - 7th, 2009

Wagon Jumpers - February 22 - 28th, 2009

Wagon Jumpers - February 15 - 21st, 2009

Wagon Jumpers - February 8 - 14th, 2009

Wagon Jumpers - February 1 - 7th, 2009

Wagon Jumpers - January 25 - 31st, 2009

Wagon Jumpers - January 18 - 24th, 2009

Wagon Jumpers - January 11 - 17th, 2009

Wagon Jumpers - January 4 - 10th, 2009

Wagon Jumpers - December 28 - January 3rd, 2009

As always all members are encouraged to tag this thread so that it is easy to find.

Weekly Topic: Motivation

What are the early signs you can pick up on in yourself when your motivation is sliding. If there is more than one pick one, and look for a solution to tackle the symptom of demotivation to get yourself back on track. If you are having difficulty, ask the group for some tips.

CONGRATULATIONS TO OUR ONE YEAR MEMBERS: MsMeg & DeFrog (Denise)

Our first one year members to cross the one year mark are MsMeg who has been a great motivator in the group and has introduced the entire group to the benefits of strength training. Also to Denise who was our avid cyclist turned soon to be mommy, who has shown us how to consider what we are eating even with a busy job and a baby on the way! Thank you to both of you for being such strong long time members of this group.

Motivational Guru

This month's prize goes to MsMeg, for the second month running.

Reminder: The second rule of this group is to send positive and polite e-mails to members who haven't posted by the end of the week or are on the MIA list at the beginning of the week. When members return please let us know who helped to motivate you to stay on track (if an MIA member is returning I always ask if there is someone they'd like to thank). MsMeg was the only nominee in May, I know we've got some other motivational powers in the group, time to give MsMeg a hand now that she's going into her busy festival season!

Cheers,

Sara.

Hello everyone (hate to be the new kid on the block for some reason or the other).

I'm Meri (actually Maria), I'm 5 ft 2 and around 136-137 pounds on an average.

I'm within a healthy BMI (although slightly so) which makes me always jump the wagon/gun, fix the cravings, go back to eating healthy in a whirly cycle of self-hatred and self-loving.

So, I have trouble staying motivated enough, my folks keep driving me off the wall because they are all normal weight people (taller than me mostly) and they dislike having to pay attention to their diet and/or cooking, so I'm the odd one out, trying to stick to "crazy" health food and lean meat and no candy (the candy part is really hard since of late they've developed a symbiotic relationship to icecream). But I'm well aware that they're not the reason why my weight fluctuates and I keep falling off my plan. I'm an expert in self-leniency and having the most hectic school and a full-time job schedules doesn't help with my exercising. (although I blade like I were a bat outta hell at times...)

Now to be on topic:

Signs my motivation is slipping:

1. I don't usually fantasize about food or obsess about it so much, but when I start imagining creme brulee, I know I'm in trouble. That should be a "get a low calorie desert and get over it" sign, but mostly I don't get the desired desert and end up being frustrated about to such an extent that I would devour everything in sight. A little jello goes a long way for me. Really, I just need to get it and can it.

Solution: I guess stocking up on more low-fat pudding and jello and praying I won't polish them in one go. Any others?

2. When I decide that I'll exercise double the next day. Newsflash: never gonna happen! I need a cow poke to get me off the couch every day sometimes.

Solution: Maybe I should get a gym membership, but it's so expensive and tapes never motivate me enough. Will tighten the belt. Or coax my boyfriend into coming blading/cycling with me more often. That would probably be better.

3. Finals month - my kryptonite, I get the exam jitterbugs so bad I can't sleep at night, I spend my days reading, writing and crying during the weeks from hell. I have no idea what to do about it, I panic so much I sometimes tremble.I have no idea how to blow of steam because if I give myself breaks I lose all concentration. Thing is, usually I study a lot during the year and still can't calm down during my finals, even if I studied and know my stuff. I guess I've always been an overachiever and when I feel insecure about something all hell breaks loose not to mention any commitment, motivation, weight loss plan...I am truly out of ideas about that. I've tried exercising 1 hr prior to going to bed, drinking herbal tea, taking walks, sleeping pills, you name it... none really work... Also I don't get an average of 6 exams at a time, but 12-14 in a go, so I'll usually have one every two days.

Wow, I can't believe that Denise and I have been hanging around here for a whole year now!

There have been so many things that I have learned about myself and fitness and health in the past year and a half since i've been on calorie count, but by far, most of it has come from our discussions here at wagon jumpers.

I'm in a bit of a funk with my eating right now, but i'm right on target with my exercise. I'm making sure that even if I only manage to walk, its better than sitting on the couch :)

I'm going to get back to the weights soon, but I need to get the rest of my life in order first... Plus I need to figure out when I'll do it.  I feel a little guilty going after work, knowing that my poor puppy is at home waiting for me, but the gym by my work isn't half as great at the one by my house, so... hmph...

I don't know what's up with my eating habits -- lets try to tie this into this weeks motivation topic...I need tips because I don't know how to get out of this!

My cycle goes like this:

1. Feeling Motivated!

2. Lose 4lbs in about 2 weeks

3. No loss for 1+ month

4. Give up and eat like a pig again

So, the thing i need to figure out is how to keep myself from getting so down when I don't see the loss.  I really would be happier to see a muscular body at this weight than to see flabbiness at a lower weight...

Just need to get on the path and keep trucking... I think being so busy at works leads a little bit to my self destruction...  However, I am not giving up and you all are going to be stuck with me for probably another year :)

Welcome to the group Meri - hopefully you will get a lot out of this group. There are so many helpful people here and everyone can teach you something different!

Ok, off to get ready for my nephew's 1 year birthday party!!!

See ya all later :)

-Meg

I know for me it's skipping workouts.  When I'm motivated to work out, I'm so into it it's not funny.  I want to hit the gym all the time.  Then when I start to make one excuse, and another...I slam into a brick wall and totally fall off that wagon.

This time (though I wonder, do I ALWAYS say "this time?") I feel like it's different, though I'm not exactly sure how.  Wait, no, I know how.  I can physically SEE and FEEL the difference in my body.  Like daily.  I haven't been doing NROLFW that long, and now I've just on my off days started doing another exercise program (it's super cheesy 1986 but I'm already in love with it) and honestly I look at my legs and can see muscles forming.  That has been really, really motivating for me to KEEP going, where normally after a couple weeks I'm like "eh, this stuff isn't making a difference, screw it."

With food...I think the scale is a big motivator for me, which is good and bad.  It's good in that when it starts to go UP I start to pay attention to what's going on.  But it's bad because when it DOESN"T go down and I'm doing really well with eating, I get frustrated.  This has in the past led to the "Oh well it's not working any way why don't I just eat what I want" mentality...but again this time it just seems different.  It seems like while I have goals, I'm accepting that if I don't meet them on some artificial time line that's ok, because this is a long road, and my whole life I'll have to be vigilant about food and exercise because I can't afford not to.  So if I go away for a weekend and drink too many SF mojitos (mmmmm mojitos) and the scale is up 2lbs on Monday, well, I better watch what I'm eating even better this week and keep on plan.

CONGRATS to MsMeg and DeFrog, and welcome to Meri!

Congrats to Msmeg and Defrong (Denise). A year is awesome. I'm be there soon which will be cool.

Thanks Msmeg for being a great motivator.

I know when I'm slipping when I say I'm tired or start making excuses. I don't want to do things that I should. Well, I learned to do counteractions. I have weigh both sides of the situation. Eventually, I have to kick myself in the butt and get my motivation going. Other times, I have to look towards my friends for motivations.

Welcome Maria to the group.

My motivation usually gets derailed when I'm out of my normal routine.  I've been away from home the last 5 days so I've let myself make some poor choices when it comes to eating.  Now we all like to take a vacation, but it's getting back on track that's my problem.  I'm going to tackle it by making sure I've got lots of healthy stuff on hand to eat -- which is why I'm going to go put some beans on to soak right after I finish this post.

Welcome to Mari and to defrog and msmeg, well done for being with the group over a year!

I have so many early signs when I know my motivation is slidding.  After reading everyone elses posts I feel like I can relate to everyone's early signs.  But my biggest ones would be when I start craving foods and when I start skipping work outs.  The reasons my cravings are such a problem are that I can't get rid of the craving for days and end up losing my will power and eating in excess.  So if I'm craving chocolate, I will eat a piece of chocolate and log the calories and hope everything will go well.  But then five minutes later I will eat more of it and more.  When I eventually pull myself together I feel so frusterated at my lack of willpower but try to stay positive for tomorrow.  Only tomorrow comes and I do it again. 

I havn't really come up with a solution that works for my craving problem.  I have tried to ignore them (ussually ends up worse), I try to only eat what I'm craving infront of my boyfriend as he is fully supportive and will help me to not eat in excess if I ask him to (but this ussally means that as soon as hes gone I will eat it and feel so guilty not only for eating it but for decieving him and then I have to come clean to him which is embarassing because I don't like to lie).  and most recently I have been trying to notice my craving foods such as pasta, chocolate, rice crispy treats, cheese, etc. and try to work them into my weekly calories to avoid craving them in the first place but I find that I still crave them. 

when I see that I'm skipping workouts it ussually means I need to change up my workouts so I can feel more involved and have a bit more fun.  If I'm tired of the gym (like I am now) I try to go bike ridding, roller blading, or for long walks with my boyfriend as these activities don't seem like workouts to me even though I get my heart rate up and am getting a great workout.  Eventually I am sure I will get bored of this and will find the gym to be fun again.

Great job defrog and msmeg, thats inspiring. and welcome to Mari, (I am new too so don't feel bad about being the new kid on the block!) 

Hello everyone,

Sorry I was MIA last week. I was sick and had to rest at home, where I don't have Internet. I'm ashamed to say I did splurge myself with food last week, I was just too tired to try.

Weekly Topic: Motivation

What are the early signs you can pick up on in yourself when your motivation is sliding?

I start to eat whatever I want at anytime. Lately I've been noticing that when I'm unmotivated I just stop logging foods. So that's a red flag for me now! if I don't log it, then I'm falling!

Maria Welcome to the group! I've never been good with group eating situations, it helps me that I'm in control of the cooking in my house, I think we have some other students in the group that may have some better insights on what to do when your family has different eating habits. On the gym membership the one caution I'd note is that most people who get a membership rarely use it, of course everyone thinks differently when they get it, but inevitably gyms make money because people pay for memberships they don't use. So, the question if you go that route would be to make sure you have already planned time into your schedule for the work out.

MsMeg Happy to continue to be stuck with you. Looks like your body may just go through plateau's, loss then no loss then gain, it probably thinks of it as a natural cylce for famine and feast. There's some work around set points here. If you can identify what the early signs are between 3 and 4 you may be able to develop some tactics to avoid the overeating before it happens.

Dove Reading some of Julie's (Nannygabber's) early posts may be worth it, she was relying on the 'see it = motivation' for some time, but then hit plateau's and it was driving her nuts. I think most of us do well when we are seeing either physical or scale resutls. But there will be times when we are not, these become the hardest to push through.

Tiegurl Counteractions? Examples?

Laura I'm with you on the falling off when there is a break in the routine, that is the hardest time for me to recover as well. I find I need to plan not only for the off routine time, but also for the time following.

Jacqueline On the cravings, that's one that we've all struggled with, using many of the same strategies that you are using. The most effective way seems to be to plan for them.

On a similar note, when we got into NROLFW we started to build some knowlege around carbs, sweeteners and cravings.

Near the beginning of this thread a member jburgin was following a stufy on artifical sweeteners which argued that they don't work because they trigger cravings for sweet foods.

Both him and I (and some others) made a choice to cut artificial sweetners from our diets and most of us noticed a dramatic difference over a few months for our sweet cravings. If I want soda now I take the full calorie hit, but it's often less in total calories than when I was drinking diet soda where I drank several and tended to dip into the snack bowls more.

The other thing that NROLFW mentioned was eating more protein, especially early in the morning. This has really curbed my 'general' cravings and actually reduced my appetite qutie a bit. I think Julie has had the same experience.

Ana Glad you are back, I'm also a 'stop logging = off the wagon' girl, I hate that, I really want to get to the point where I don't have to log, but for now it's a big red flag.

Check In

I'm frustrated right now with finding time for exercise. I prefer to go to the gym in the morning, but... I now need to leave for work by 7:20 am (latest) and my gym does not open until 6:00 am.

There is part of me that is thinking if I get up earlier and am actually at the gym's front door for 6:00 am, find a way to shorten the workouts so that I'm done by 6:45, shower and change at the gym, and use the car to drive the 3 blocks that it is from my house to the gym I can still make it to the busy stop for 7:20 am.... but that's a lot of rushing first thing in the morning and I'm not likely to do it...

I'm also reluctant to push my sleep schedule any earlier since my partner works swing shift (4pm - 4am) we don't see each other away during the week and then on the weekends he gets up much later than I do, and I go to bed much earliers. Pushing my sleep schedule earlier will only frustrate that relationship issue.

So the other choice is to go after work, but I'm finding that my life hasn't changed all that much as as per the last two years I constantly have things - dinners, volunteer meeting, press conference, lecture.... after work so I'm finding it very difficulty to find 3 days a week to get to the gym.

I think the practical solution is that I'm really going to have to watch my after work engagements, and make exercise a priority. Of course I hate the idea of giving up extra training or volunteering, but it is after all a matter of priorities, and I need to put myself in there somewhere... gack!

Hi Everyone,

I think I am finally finding the routine here in the new home. Settling in quite nicely. I'll give you my top opinion about motivation... Consistency over time creates results. IOW, do not give yourself an option! I have literally discovered that fear of failure motivates me! I WANT to succeed. IE; on this thread by doing my 12 week goal, at reaching the next level of lifting, of reaching my next lower pant size, at making people around me proud of me... etc etc... Failure hurts, it saddens, it belittles, it discourages... Success feels good!

I have found through this move, and through other previous dissembled-structure periods of my life, that having something, even one thing that you continue to pursue and dedicate to during that time, makes the whole transition a lot easier overall. And truthfully, without having had that in place way before-hand, I'd never ever have made it a priority during this whole phase!

I credit my ability to get right back into my groove, to persistence in my agenda of working out 3x per week. Let me say here Sara, that eventually you will reach your goal, and those after hours engagements won't seem so important any more, additionally, you should be able to add some back at some point, I would think!

It really is about what you believe, and think deeply in your psyche is most important to you as an individual. Good rule of thumb is.... Human beings ALWAYS do what is most important to them personally. To a mom, it will be caring for that new baby... to a rock star, it will be practicing the music or writing new songs.... to an ice skater, it will be coreographing the ultimate routine and building strength to do it.... To a drug addict, its searching for and creating the means for the next fix.... I am not being critical of anyone here or elsewhere on this or any other site, but if your priority is enjoying the taste of fattening unhealthy foods, then that's what you'll do. All I am saying is, we have a choice.

I could go on and on. Personal priorities can be positive or negative. My point is... What is your agenda? Ask yourself..... What do I really really want?

If you really want it, then you'll find your motivation.

That's all I got to say 'bout that. (Kudos to whoever guesses the movie!) Even though I apparently did not answer the weekly question of when do I know my motivation is slipping....! I think I know this is happening when a trigger (usually relationship related) confronts me. However, in the past few months, I have managed to turn my workouts into an outlet for the frustrations, rather than the usual bottling up and hibernating behaviour I have had in the past.

I guess I just decided that being in control of SOMETHING (my health) was better than being controlled BY everything and everyone around me... and I gotta tell ya... being in control is a good feeling also.

WELCOME to Maria and jnielsen!

CONGRATS to Meg and Denise!

CONGRATS also to Tiegurl for graduating!

... and THANKS, SARA!... for my 9 month congratulatory message. You are such an encouragement and inspiration!

And to answer a question Dove asked me like two weeks ago... I am on Stage 4, I now have two more workouts, and onto Stage 5. Stage 4 and 5 are basically repeats of Stages 2 and 3, with a little more weight, and a different sets/reps routine.

Heading to the gym now! Happy Healthgain - YOU are worth it!,
~Julie

Welcome, Jacqueline and Meri to the group. I have been with WJ for 6 months! Thanks for the lovely PM Sara reminding me about it, I totally forgot. I have realized an important lesson as of late. I need the 12 week challenge. I don't like to compete, but I do like doing things as a group. That challenge was a great way for me to stay on track. I would never have thought that this king of thing would be so helpful for me. This is just one of the great benefits of this group. I have learned from many of the members here that educating myself on health, body, exercise, nutrition, emotions... is really important in helping to understand my body and how to get what I want out of it.

Weekly topic: One of the ways I know my motivation is slipping is when doing good things for me (good food, exercise, focus on myself and my needs) becomes a burden for me instead of helpful, stress relieving, adds to my life.

Solution: I know that self talk is important in how I view this, in a positive light or a negative light. If my self talk is negative I will most probably blow off doing my exercise, sticking to the plan, eating right, to better relax in front of the TV, eat some junk food. This is not helping in reaching my goals. It's like I loose perspective, long term vision, my focus.

Other than that I don't know what else to do. I can't rely on my feelings (I will do it when I feel like it). They are pointing me towards the fries! Lol! I guess a more logical or planned approach would be better for me that an organic, feeling approach.

Any ideas? I haven't read the posts yet, will do so now.

Have a great week all!

Yay Msmeg and Defrog 1 year with wagon jumpers. Félicitations as we say in French (congrats).

Msmeg I can totally see myself in you, I go all out when I start then give up when I don't get the results I want. I've done just that lately and gained back the 4 pounds I lost + 1.

I think journaling may be a good way for me to work out some of my negative thoughts and keep my focus on myself and my goals. I totally use food for comfort, so writing about it (here included) would help me work some of those feelings out.

Germaica - Use that energy that is driving you toward comforts. You can bridle it and the feelings that generate it, and chanel it all into healty choices. Choices that are healthy for you psychologically and bodily. Somehow erradicate the negative thoughts surrounding the "discipline" of it all, and reprogram yourself to believe its your only option to choose these healthy things. Knowing fully that if you do, you are an immediate success. And one success breeds many more.

I am with you on the journaling thing. But I'll tell you what has kept me on track the most. It's the accountability to this group in the 12-week challenges. I don't want to fail. I don't want to feel as if I have let others see me fall off the wagon, and be known as a discouragement to myself or you guys. Now, I know that would not be the case, BUT - that's how I would feel. I guess what I am saying is chase positive feelings. Squash negative ones. It's that self-talk you mentioned.

I just remembered something... If you would, read this article I found a few years ago and saved. It can be applied to any situation, including our health.

� I forwarded this on to a few friends when I got it by email from Bart himself about 3 years ago. I got a hugely positive response then, so thought it'd be worth posting here to share with everyone. Some really good stuff if you want to improve the way you think and share.

� � � FEATURE STORY:
Toxic Vocabulary

� Written by
Bart Baggett
� � When this article was first published, it received more letters and seemed to have more of an instant and immediate positive impact on readers and their families than any other article I've written. Please e-mail this to your friends and family. ~~Bart

Do you speak to your kids this way?

I remember my dad teaching me the power of language at a very young age. Not only did my dad understand that specific words affect our mental pictures, but he understood words are a powerful programming factor in lifelong success.

One particularly interesting event occurred when I was eight. As a kid, I was always climbing trees, poles, and literally hanging around upside down from the rafters of our lake house. So, it came as no surprise to my dad to find me at the top of a 30-foot tree, swinging back and forth. My little eight-year-old brain didn't realize the tree could break or I could get hurt. I just thought it was fun to be up so high.

My older cousin, Tammy, was also in the same tree. She was hanging on the first big limb, about ten feet below me. Tammy's mother also noticed us at the exact same time my dad did. About that time a huge gust of wind came over the tree. I could hear the leaves start to rattle and the tree begin to sway. I remember my dad's voice over the wind yell, "Bart, Hold on tightly." So I did. The next thing I know, I heard Tammy screaming at the top of her lungs, laying flat on the ground. She had fallen out of the tree.

I scampered down the tree to safety. My dad later told me why she fell and I did not. Apparently, Tammy's mother was not as an astute student of language as my father. When Tammy's mother felt the gust of wind, she yelled out, "Tammy, don't fall!" And Tammy did... fall.

My dad then explained to me that the mind has a very difficult time processing a negative image. In fact, people who rely on internal pictures cannot see a negative at all. In order for Tammy to process the command of not falling, her nine-year-old brain had to first imagine falling, then try to tell the brain not to do what it just imagined. Whereas, my eight-year-old brain instantly had an internal image of me hanging on tightly.

This is why people who try to stop smoking struggle with the act of stopping smoking. They are running pictures all day of themselves smoking. Smokers are rarely taught to see themselves breathing fresh air and feeling great. The language itself becomes one barrier to success.

This concept is especially useful when you are attempting to break a habit or set a goal. You can't visualize not doing something. The only way to properly visualize not doing something is to actually find a word for what you want to do and visualize that. For example, when I was thirteen years old, I played for my junior high school football team. I tried so hard to be good, but I just couldn't get it together at that age. I remember hearing the words run through my head as I was running out for a pass, "Don't drop it!" Naturally, I dropped the ball.

My coaches were not skilled enough to teach us proper "self-talk." They just thought some kids could catch and others couldn't. I'll never make it pro, but I'm now a pretty good Sunday afternoon football player, because all my internal dialogue is positive and encourages me to win. I wish my dad had coached me playing football instead of just climbing trees. I might have had a longer football career.

Here is a very easy demonstration to teach your kids and your friends the power of a toxic vocabulary. Ask them to hold a pen or pencil. Hand it to them. Now, follow my instructions carefully. Say to them, "Okay, try to drop the pencil." Observe what they do.

Most people release their hands and watch the pencil hit the floor. You respond, "You weren't paying attention. I said TRY to drop the pencil. Now please do it again." Most people then pick up the pencil and pretend to be in excruciating pain while their hand tries but fails to drop the pencil.

The point is made.

If you tell your brain you will "give it a try," you are actually telling your brain to fail. I have a "no try" rule in my house and with everyone I interact with. Either people will do it or they won't. Either they will be at the party or they won't. I'm brutal when people attempt to lie to me by using the word try. Do they think I don't know they are really telegraphing to the world they have no intention of doing it but they want me to give them brownie points for pretended effort?

You will never hear the words "I'll try" come out of my mouth unless I'm teaching this concept in a seminar. If you "try" and do something, your unconscious mind has permission not to succeed. If I truly can't make a decision I will tell the truth. "Sorry John. I'm not sure if I will be at your party or not. I've got an outstanding commitment. If that falls through, I will be here. Otherwise, I will not. Thanks for the invite." People respect honesty. So remove the word "try" from your vocabulary.

My dad also told me that psychologists claim it takes seventeen positive statements to offset one negative statement. I have no idea if it is true, but the logic holds true. It might take up to seventeen compliments to offset the emotional damage of one harsh criticism. These are concepts that are especially useful when raising children.

Ask yourself how many compliments you give yourself daily versus how many criticisms. Heck, I know you are talking to yourself all day long. We all have internal voices that give us direction.

So, are you giving yourself the 17:1 ratio or are you shortchanging yourself with toxic self-talk like, "I suck. I'm fat. Nobody will like me. I'll try this diet. I'm not good enough. I'm so stupid. I'm broke, etc. etc."

If our parents can set a lifetime of programming with one wrong statement, imagine the kind of programming you are doing on a daily basis with your own internal dialogue. Here is a list of Toxic Vocabulary words. Notice when you or other people use them.

But

Try

If

Might

Would Have

Should Have

Could Have

Can't

Don't

But - negates any words that are stated before it.

If - presupposes that you may not.

Would have - past tense that draws attention to things that didn't actually happen.

Should have - past tense that draws attention to things that didn't actually happen (and implies guilt.)

Could have - past tense that draws attention to things that didn't actually happen but the person tries to take credit as if it did happen.

Try - presupposes failure.

 Might - It does nothing definite. It leaves options for your listener.

 Can't / Don't - These words force the listener to focus on exactly the opposite of what you want. This is a classic mistake that parents and coaches make without knowing the damage of this linguistic error.

Examples:

Toxic phrase: "Don't drop the ball!"
Likely result: Drops the ball
Better language: "Catch the ball!"

Toxic phrase: "You shouldn't watch so much television."
Likely result: Watches more television.
Better language: "I read too much television makes people stupid. You might find yourself turning that TV off and picking up one of those books more often!"

Exercise: Take a moment to write down all the phrases you use on a daily basis or any Toxic self-talk that you have noticed yourself using. Write these phrases down so you will begin to catch yourself as they occur and change them.

Toxic Phrase

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Re-written Phrase

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Good Night Germaica and Everyone, I hope maybe this helps in some small way...

Have a Healthgain Day,
~Julie

Thanks everyone for the warm welcome. :)

And more thanks to nannygabber for the extremely nice article. I hadn't read something that made me smile like this for a while.

Reading all your signs made me realize that some apply to me as well (cheating on the log... grrr) and forever craving.

Well, as for other students who might be in this group and living with their parents (in my country, if you're from a really big city, you won't live on campus at all), I really like to cook and that's one of my greatest motivators, because I can try new stuff (I've had my share of messed up kitchen incidents) and it keeps me away from the temptation of eating my family's food, and when you earn your own living its rather easy to spend money on what you like (even if it seems extreme to your fam. like my love for veggies). The trouble starts when your cooking time is limited... or I'm at the university all day long with no lunch break, that's when my motivation is at an all time low as dining in town isn't much of a healthy option (salad bars are few and far between and incredibly expensive). I pack lunch and some snacks, but in the summer they tend to turn into mush because of the heat... gaaaah. Plus we don't get a lunch break, only 10 minutes per 2 hours to get from a class to the other...

Anyway, one way or the othe, I know I can make it. I know it.

And as for the gym issue, the one I truly like is mostly a group exercise gym with very nice instructors and varied workouts, but it's pretty far from my house. It was very close to school, however, and I went there all the time in the evening after my university classes were over. Now I'm on thesis-writing vacation and I only go rollerblading either early in the morning or in the evening. I hope that's enough for now.There aren't any gyms I can afford in my neighbourhood, so that kinda bursts my bubble. I think I'll wait another two weeks with the gym membership thing, until I write my thesis and focus on eating right without stress munching. :)

Well enough about me!

It's lovely to meet you all and I can't wait to know you better and hopeful bring my contribution to this group in one way or another. (as soon as I figure out what I'm good at except for making terribly creative excuses)

I'm here!  Running late for work, as usual, but thought I should do at least a quick post!

My husband's grandmother died over the weekend, so I've been very busy with his family, etc., etc.  I plan to post more in the next day or so!  Grandma was the matriarch of the clan, and she passed rather quickly (diagnosed w/lung cancer about 6 weeks ago), so everyone's been in a bit of a tizzy...  I only met her 7 years ago, but I'm going to miss her terribly; she was so terrific...

Welcome to Meri, congrats MsMeg on making a year on this site!  I too can't believe that its been a year already!

Will be back!

Hi all,

Fresh back to Oregon from Cape Cod. We have my mother's funeral service and then several meetings about the estate. I got it together and was able to deliver the eulogy. Honestly that was harder than I thought it was gonna be. The nice news is that it made me really think about what is important. No real insights but the thinking process helped me to calm down. I ran 3X to this beach where my Mom's ashes will be spread - it is a 5.8mi run round trip.

Welcome to Meri. Congrats on everyone's milestones -- I also got my atta girl from Sara. I look forward to posting here every week. and more importantly reading everyone else's input. It is a nice place to be. I can't really be honest with my husband about my weight trials and tribulations. 

OK, onto the assignment:

What are the early signs you can pick up on in yourself when your motivation is sliding.

Cravings, putting off runs or exercises and just wanting to watch TV.

If there is more than one pick one, and look for a solution to tackle the symptom of demotivation to get yourself back on track.

Putting off exercise: I trick myself and say - ok, Carol, just run to this point and then you don't have to do any more - then when it is not so bad I just do a little more, then more then more and then I find myself that I have completed it.

If you are having difficulty, ask the group for some tips.

Cravings... how do you handle those?

I do agree that diet soda is not helpful - I have started to cut it out and also articfical sweetners. I know the evidence is inconclusive but the stuff it just probably not good for you.

Hello Everyone,

Well motivation is something I think about a lot. I can echo the comments of many others in that I can see my motivation sliding if I allow myself to cave into a craving or I put off exercising (which is why getting up with the puppy to go for a run first thing in the morning or going to the gym with my friend/co-worker at 4pm, rather than waiting until I get home is key).

Welcome to new members meri and jnielsen!

Congrats to Denise and Meg!

Would write more but I'm at work and I was just told of more work put on my plate so I had better get at it.

Keys to keeping motivated, daily checkins on the WJ thread and sometimes watching shows on healthy living on TLC etc.

Have a great day everyone!

TWO DAY REMINDERS

Hello everyone,

Little late with this (for the new schedule) here are our members who have not yet checked in. Please watch for them to post today or tomorrow. If they have not posted by Saturday or are on the MIA list on Sunday please sent them a polite and positive message to stay on track with their goals and involved in the group.

Kyashiis

Lam7

Carryonandon

Constanza

Missing In Action:

Pelkeyjm

Jessicaanne2001

Missing In Action - 1 Week:

Thesilverstar121

Thank you so much Julie for that inspiring article. I have copied it so I can read it over and over. I realize now that I make an insurmountable mountain (in my self talk) out of a series of healthy choices that I should make. So of course I feel overwhelmed and discouraged! I keep telling my unconscious that I'm a failure, that I can't do it. Hey! knowledge is power only if I act on it. So I'm glad to say that since reading your post I have been motivated to make healthy food choices and start logging again.

You are a great motivator girl, thanks again!