Walking on Graves

Yesterday, my friends were visiting me over in my home town and I was giving them the grand tour and somehow we ended up at the Town Graveyard where many of my ancestors have been buried.  It is also where I plan to be buried, within the family plot.

The Family Plot consists of a concrete area that contains 6 planks of cement and in the center is a large marble cross and on three of the four sides on the base of the cross lists out the names and birth/death dates of many relatives going back to the late 1800's.  The entire plot is about 15' X 15' I guess.

I often walk across the cemented area (of which the bones lay beneath) to approach the marble cross in the center of the plot and touch and run my fingers across the engraved names and dates of relatives before me.

My friends were MORTIFIED that I would stand/walk upon a grave!  I was kind of surprised by the reaction.  We then went down the hill to another section that has my Grandmother on my mother's  side.  She has a simple square headstone embedded in the grass, flat.  I often will sit on the grass right in front of the stone (and right on top of where the casket was lowered) to say hello and pay respects to her.  Again, my friends were motified.

Your thoughts?

hmmm i don't know, sounds like superstition to me! i mean it's my belief that loved ones aren't there in that casket anymore anyway! if visiting the site helps you connect with them, and you want to sit in front of your grandmothers gravestone then why not?

i mean think about it in reverse, does the idea of your loved ones someday walking on your grave upset you? i know it wouldn't bother me!

Once a body is in the ground I consider it to be part of the earth, and I walk on earth on other places.  Who knows what's been buried in that soil.

I see nothing wrong with it.  Like jules817 said, maybe it's superstition.

My mom, grandma and grandpa are burried together.  Often I will go and sit and have a coffee with them.  There is nothing wrong with it.

Just somebody's superstition, don;t let them bother you.

It is a little difficult to walk in a grave yard without stepping on somebody.  I wouldn't worry about is as I doubt the permenant guests do anyway.

This reminded me of something though that I have heard all my life....If someone breaks out in gooseflesh they will say "Oh, someone just walked across my grave."  I often wonder where sayings originate.   Things like I wonder why Dick's hatband is so tight?  I know.  I have too much time on my hands.....

"Why Johnny Ringo you look like someone's just walked over your grave." ~ Tombstone

Karen, it's  funny that you mention the cold chill comment, because after the episode at the graveyard, my friend told me that his mother would say this all the time.

I seriously am more worried about offending my friends.  You should have seen the worried look on his face.  He was fascinated with the fact that I knew where I would be buried and I think the immortality ( of me ) might have bothered him, but then me walking on the grave site bothered him even more.

I asked him if he was serious and he would not step foot near the outer edge of the boundary, so I did a little tap dance on the cement plot to lighten the mood but that didn't do the trick whatsoever....

I'm with you all here, I don't see it as a sign of disrespect.  Spoiled Candy, I like the thought of "having coffee" with my grandmother :) 

if i were dead i wouldnt care if someone walked over me.

heck, i dont even really want to be buried. its a total waste of money &space. (to me)

i mean your dead. who cares.

Oh dear I seem to be the only one who would have the same reaction as your friends....sitting at the side of the grave is OK but I wouldn't sit on top of it either....for me it's nothing to do with superstition more a mark of respect. The same with, you should never speak ill of the dead and never pull a car into the middle of a funeral procession either.

I was taught to not walk over someone's plot as well.  It wasn't superstition but I got the impression it was being respectful to the person's memory ^^:  I will try to not walk on plots but sometimes I can't tell where they are

Original Post by owlet:

I was taught to not walk over someone's plot as well. It wasn't superstition but I got the impression it was being respectful to the person's memory ^^: I will try to not walk on plots but sometimes I can't tell where they are

Same here. I would sit on a family or friend's plot though. Connected to them, I guess?

I'm very aware of the whole don't walk on someones grave. It was considered a sign of disrespect. As in disrespect to the deceaseds living family. Where I grew up if the deceaseds family memebers saw someone do that...you could be in really big trouble...like getting a hilly billy style beat down that would do the crips or bloods proud today.

Of course I grew up in the sticks where it was considered ok to kill someone for running over your best hunting dog if you could find out who did it.

It is a little difficult to walk in a grave yard without stepping on somebody.

I agree. Many cemetaries are full of people. There's no telling who's buried under where you're walking...

what about the old churches who buried people under the floor? its literally impossible to not walk over them.

I don't think I would mind because I would be DEAD!!!!....

you are supposed to avoid walking on graves if possible and not lean on headstones, etc. it's simply a matter of respect.

I don't think I'd mind if someone was coming to sit on my grave or walking over/on it. I wouldn't know anyway.

I also don't believe in the 'never say anything bad about the dead' saying. I believe that if someone was truly a bad person while they lived, I don't believe I should have to say something nice about them because they're dead. Granted, you can say that I should say nothing, but if it that person comes up in conversation I shouldn't have to change my opinion of them because they have since died.

i have to add to this, because i understand what people mean about it being a respect thing. i most certainly wouldn't go prancing through a graveyard stomping over everyones graves. 

in this case though, when it's your family member, i think you have the right, and what you were doing was a loving, respectful thing.  

I've taken my small urn of my Mom's ashes hiking with me and sometimes, I bring her into the kitchen with me when I am cooking.  It makes me feel closer to her when I need her.  Weird, perhaps, but it helps me that's all I know.  I bet your friends would be upset by that as well though.  My Mom, on the other hand, would love it or does love it, if she knows.

When I visit my Grandpa's grave, I too walk right over and plop down on the grass to talk to him.  I guess some people will find that sick or disrespectful, but again, it makes me feel closer to him.

I somehow think that the dead don't know/don't care.  It's the living that have issues with it, but whether they are creeped out by it or else feels it's wrong, well, to each his own, right?

I remember going to a graveyard in the country for the first time with my neighbor. I was around 6 or 7. I remember having this urge to walk across a grave (and I did it). I think I thought something supernatural would happen (it didn't).

Looking back, it reminds me of Pearl from the Scarlet Letter-dancing on graves!

awww...Jules does have a soft side....