I just wanna quit!

I am so frustrated I feel like crying! matter of fact as I sit here typing what at this moment I think may be my last journal I am crying profusly. It 's just that it seems no matter what the hell I do I can't get the scale to go down past 240. The last few daysI have been eating like crazy because I am so Disappointed with my self. Then I did the last thing I needed to do and that was stepped on to the scale. I felt my heart drop to the floor when I read 248.4 , but I mean really what else did I expect? and now I know one thing for certain it's not the scale. I feel like such a failure and like I blew my chances when I allowed my self to put the weight back on. All I want to do is eat now and I know that is not the answer but it is the truth. I want to eat till I puke! My friend asked me today so what is the solution and how do we get kim in it? My head says who has a hack saw that will help. I might die from infection but at least I won't have to not like the way I look. I went to meet the teacher at my daughters school and all the moms there looked so nice and were made up and not just the thin ones. The heavier ones looked like they had it going on, and I felt sick before we left so I went to the bathroom and after I finished I went to wash my hands and there was this sloppy blank faced  fat girl who is indesperate need of o dye job cause her gray was starting to show with this lopsided stomach. It sucks when you don't know who is starting you back in the mirror. and I thought wow you really let yourself go. I think that is what started my bout with depression again this time. So now what? I set a goal and no matter what I do I can't seem to reach it. (though I did stop trying this week) I havn't eatin yet cause with school back in for kiddies and trying to get them there has been nightmarish. I ma back in tommorrow and I am sabatoging my self I know. I Know I read something in prevention that if you don't push your body enough it doesn't think it has to change. So Can I still lose weight at 36 after multiple pregnancy and multiple weight loss is it possible to do or do I opt for wishing I could afford a lap band.

As far as solutions go I could put the baby in the stroller and walk my daughter to and from school seeing as her school isn't that far away. That would be a three day a week solution. I do need to activate my gym membership cause then I could put luis and ari (if needbe) in the nursery and totally focus on me and not be distracted. as far as the eating thing that is another story. I don't know what the hell I am doing wrong. Over the last three days I have been dirinking 3/4 of a gallon of water if not more a day. May be I dehydratedmyself again? I don't know but I got a halg Gallon Jug to carry to school with me and I fill it twice aday. I just want to crawl under a rock and scream!!!!!!

You can lose weight and you will IF you stick with it!  Everyone hits rough spots during their weight loss journey, the real challenge is sticking with it.  Maybe what you need to do is take a break from the scale.  Have you taken measurements to see how those have changed?  Your pictures obviously indicate you're doing a great job!  Just take it one day at a time, one calorie deficit at a time and all of your had work will catch up with you.

You can do it mabear, I have 4 children I gave birth to, 6 total.  I am 42 and weighed 235lbs two years ago.  It has been a struggle and sometimes I thought WTF, who cares but now I weigh 151 and work out 5 days a week and eat within the 500 calories deficit everyday.  I have days I cheat and just went through two weeks of snorking donuts and not working out and just really not caring but I am back on track now and moving forward again.

Bottom line is this is for you, your health, your energy level and your life.  It didn't take a day to put the weight on so it wont take a day to take it off but you are so worth the effort.

Great Sucess and always move forward!!!!

Well, go and scream!! Scream, jump and kick a pillow!  Get the frustration out, then buckle down and get back to it!! Everyone, and I mean EVERYONE has ups and downs. If we didn't, then sites like this wouldn't exist, and we'd all be happy little elves!

The gym sounds like a good place to start concentrating on YOU. drop the babies off for 30 min or so, and just go to work.

Hang in there little lady. 36 with a beautiful daughter you can push in a stroller gives you even that much more to live for. You are still young, and you are still a beautiful person. Try not to take it so hard when you can't hit under 240. 240 is a hard number to get past, and it's also one that I hit a plateau at. It's even harder to get under the 200 mark if you want to know the truth.

When having days like this, your best option is to go out, get your hair dyed, get a trim, take a nice long soaking bath, put on your outfit that makes you feel at your best, make a nice fresh salad, and just breath in the summer air :)

It is really tough dieting. I know it. I've lost 175 pounds and it wasn't easy. I had my slips, I've had my posts of "I CANT DO THIS ANYMORE!" I've had moments I wanted to fail and crawl into a hole. Life goes on tho, and it's okay if you have a weekend of slip up.

If you need to vent, PM me, or IM me, or whatever you want to do. But do realize that your daughter looks up to you, and she needs you for guidance. That's one of the reasons I started losing weight in the first place, I told myself that if I had kids, I never wanted to be the 'fat' mom. I never wanted my kids to be made fun of at my expense. I grew up with a heavy set mom, and missed out on a lot of outdoor activities like riding bikes and just getting down on the ground to build sand castles.

Alright I'm just going on and on, but you get my point. You have a LOT of years ahead of you, and 'dieting' gets easier as you go on. There are tons of alternative foods out there, tons of ways to track your success, and most of all.. you are gaining your health to live a long life so you can see your daughter have children, and walk her down the isle, etc.

Hang in there!

mabear...hang in there! If you keep in mind it's a LIFELONG change, not just a temporary diet, sometimes it feels less......hard. There will always be ups and downs, and it's always going to take a conscious effort (even to just maintain!).

Don't give up....the cycle of hating how look and hating yourself and then eating more and hating more doesn't stop until YOU stop it! YOU CAN DO IT!

x17star17x....OMG, I am TRULY inspired by you. I just read your success info on your profile and I am rejuvenated in finishing to my goal. I hope this helps give me a push!

Cuss and scream and be as discouraged as you want, right now.  We all know what you're going through and we all know that you'll get back on track; walk with your babies, schedule time to go to the gym, make sure your family knows how much you need their support right now.

I see you photos and you've made a noticably awesome start.  You can keep doing this!

:)

If you only knew how many times I laid in bed crying, kicking my feet and hitting the pillow so angry at myself, and at my body for WANTING to consume so much food. It really is a learned behavior. It's tough to re-learn everything we were tought. If you really feel like an "over eater" go to the library and pick up some books. I've read books on binging (because food still = love to me in some twisted way) and books on how not to be diet obsessed (as I am now maintaining but am still trapped in a cycle of counting every calorie).

You'll find your path. It might take some trials and some errors, but you've stumbled across a huge group of successful wagon jumpers, and new comers.

I added you back as a friend BTW. I'm glad you came back to read this post too. I feared you going off into the dust.

thanks for the talk everyone. I neede to hear all that was said and got some really good suggestions. I am gonna walk to getmy daughter and relive some tension I was completely overtired and was so rushed this morning I forgot to eat breakfast, so with a  quick sandwich and all your support I am feeling better. I will be back on the treadmill tomorrow first thing!

So glad you're feeling better!

Anytime you need to email me just email me i have days like this all the time!!


Clarice

You can't quit because then I'd want to quit.  And if I find an excuse to quit then someone else will probably quit, and so on...  SO DON'T!!

I am so proud of you for having the  courage to post your struggle.  It's so tough.  I'm getting angry being so hungry and seeing the scale stay put.  My short-term goal is to see 199 on the scale but at 228.5, I've got quite a ways to go.  So, please don't quit.  I'll hang in there if you do. 

SMILES AND HUGS!!

You can do it!! I have lost over 110 lbs and I'm only 22. I hit the plateau when I hit 181 and I wanted to scream!!I even ate a snickers bar and gave up for a couple of days which is not like me. But I looked at all of things I accomplished and there was no way I was going to gain a single pound back. There are days when I want to pull into a burger king for dinner but I stop and remember what I felt like when I was younger. From the kids picking on me and the times I did not have self confidence and thats where my motivation comes from. I tell people if I can do it, then you can do:) You can pm me anytime you want if u need to yell scream vent or whatever. God Bless.

There's no point in beating yourself up because you've hit a little bump in the road... you say you hate what you see in the mirror and you look like you've let yourself 'go' - so pick yourself up again! You don't like your greying hair? That just takes a dye bottle to fix, or a nice new haircut. Just because you're fatter than you want to be, that doesn't mean you need to slob around in a grotty old tracksuit - you can wear something that makes you feel good whatever size you are. If wearing makeup will make you feel better, get up in the morning and put some on! You deserve to feel good about yourself NOW, not when you hit some elusive goal. You might find that if you spend a little more time looking after yourself (instead of just looking after your kids...), you'll feel better about life in general, and find it easier to stick to your diet.

Original Post by kthompson92:

You can't quit because then I'd want to quit. And if I find an excuse to quit then someone else will probably quit, and so on... SO DON'T!!

I am so proud of you for having the courage to post your struggle. It's so tough. I'm getting angry being so hungry and seeing the scale stay put. My short-term goal is to see 199 on the scale but at 228.5, I've got quite a ways to go. So, please don't quit. I'll hang in there if you do.

SMILES AND HUGS!!

kthompson, I started utilizing CC when I weighed about 225lbs. I have the same short-term goal of 199 as you. I originally began trying to lose weight in March, and found CC mid-April.

I now weigh 202lbs. I am so close to my own short-term goal. I've been on mini-plateaus every 10lbs or so lost. Don't ever quit--it seems like I started using CC yesterday. 23lbs lost since I began over the course of 4-5 months doesn't seem like a lot, really, but I feel so much better and already look so much better than I did before.

All of us can do this. =D One crappy day or an annoying scale that doesn't want to move is not the end of the world. 4-5 months ago I thought I was going to be stuck at 225  forever. When I hit 205, I thought I was going to get stuck there forever, too, because I saw 205 for about a week and a half--and then struggled to get past 204. I only have roughly 3lbs left to go--and I'm very certain I'll see 199 before my husband comes back from Iraq. When I finally see 199, it'll be the first time in 3-4 years that I have seen a weight with a 1 in front of it, and I'm only 20 years old. My lowest weight (and intermediate term-goal) was 165-170lbs. If it took me roughly 7 months to lose roughly 35lbs, I imagine it'll take me another 7 months to get to 165, and it seems so far away.

But right now, I'm so close to 199 I can taste it--which is good, because I'm still hungry even after eating a bagel-egg-and-cheese sandwich. =P

I've just looked at your profile. You can see such a weight loss in your photos. I have lost around 34 lbs and have been feeling like I can't get to goal, but I will and so will you.  You have a great plan in the last paragraph of your post. Just work that plan. Don't give up. We all get frustrated but as the old saying goes "winners never quit and quitters never win" So work that plan girl. Don't give up.

I second and third everything that everyone else has put on this thread!  The only think I'd like to add - you mentioned being depressed .... if you are thinking that you could be clinically depressed I would urge you to go see your doctor about it.  Depression is a serious medical condition that can and should be treated.  Many of the things that you talk about in your post can also be attributed to depression... no one wants to think that they are clinically depressed but if you are you really owe it to yourself and your family to have it checked out and to consider treatment options. 

i just spent 11 weeks stalled in the 240s, so i know exactly how you feel. i was supremely pissed to keep seeing 240-something on the scale. at one point i got all the way down to 243, but the next week i was back up to 247. i'm just this week reaching 239, and you can do it, too.

since you don't really have an eating plan, that's where your energy should be focused right now. the proper diet accounts for most of your weight loss success, anyway. if you can't bring yourself to count calories right now, focus on eating whole foods like fruits, veggies, and meats that YOU cook. avoid as much processed stuff as you can, and watch out for the salt content in your foods. and keep it up with the water. doing that finally got me out of the 240s.

mabear, having been100 pounds over weight I honestly can say I know how you feel.  I tried countless times to lose weight and gave up many times.  One of the things I learned this time is that "I deserve this".  I know it sounds silly but I don't think I ever really felt that I deserved to be at my goal weight and I would sabotage myself in the process.    When you are battling your thoughts try to keep telling yourself that you truly deserve this and that you are going to make this happen.  

There two sides to the weight loss coin as you know.  What you eat and what you burn.  If you are logging everything and eating the right amount of calories then the next thing is to work on the burn.  I made a commitmentt to myself that I would walk 5km per day (eventually upped it to 7km).  My motto was no excuses no excuses.   When I thought I didn't have time because of other commitments I would remind myself that "I deserved it".   Taking care of yourself is the most value thing you can do for yourself and your family.  That means believing that you "deserve this". 

Having said all that,  there are times when we need to seek help.  Trying to make a life style change can be very difficult and may require a doctor's help to make sure there isn't any physical problems preventing you from losing weight (e.g. thyroid) or depression which can certainly mess things up. Again, seek help if necessary  "you deserve it"

There is a really good book by Dr. Oz called "You on a diet".  I found it helped me understand the body mechanics of dieting.  I also now understand why I would get urges to eat and why my body reacts the way it does.  If you watch Oprah you may have seen him.  Interesting reading.  Really helped me finally figure out that "I deserved it"

I wish at time like this I could write better.  Good luck, you deserve to achieve your goals.

Maybe don't focus on the scale too much, just be healthy.  Maybe you are setting too big of goals?  Also, maybe don't have your goals centered around weight.  For example, my goal this week will be to walk my kid in the stroller everyday.  Each week add new things as your goals...I will eat veggies everyday this week/get enough water.  I would say activate the gym!  I am sure you are probably really busy with your kids, but the best thing for your kids would be if you feel happy and healthy.  Take some time out for you, you deserve it.  Go dye your hair like you said if that would make you feel better, or give it to yourself as a reward when you complete X goal.  Hang in there!

Don't give up! We all have setbacks, but you WILL succeed if you just stick w/it! Take it one day at a time and don't rely on that scale so much! Just focus on how great you feel when you eat healthy and get some exercise! I'm just focusing on losing weight 10lbs at a time.  Find what works for you. Good luck, you'll be feeling better in no time!