Yes, now I do "believe in myself" -- though it was not always the case.  What turned the corner for me was fully embracing the idea of choice: While I can't change the situation, environment (or weight)  -- I do have the power to choose my next step. It is rather like pushing a swing -- a lot of little nudges over time can take you to great heights -- and even the downward stroke sometimes must be part of the larger picture to get one even higher.

I tend to think in terms of getting "off course" or just having made inappropriate choices, and I seldom think in terms of "failure" -- as long as one still has the ability to make a choice, there is still room for success. Not everyone will be a master at everything, be it arts, sports, business... but if success is our ability to choose to improve at whatever in life we approach -- we all can be quite successful!

This article came at the perfect time as I face the New Year.  Since 6 Jan 2010, I have lost 45 lbs thanks to Cal Count.com.  However, it has been a battle.  I do not have the positive social connections or support around me.  So my weight loss journey has been an emotional and physical battle.  After reading this article, I realized I am not my friend along with others who have been hurdles in my goal or weight loss and fitness.  The past year I have not been kind to myself but pushing hard, criticizing when I slipped up, blaming myself and others.  I have stayed away from  the "be kind and love yourself" type area fearing I'd become self-centered and arogant.  So I'd join in on the me-bashing wagon.  Wow.  No wonder I'm not happy or fulfilled.  This article reminded me that I have to be my best coach and I have to like and be proud of me first before anyone else can along with enjoying my accomplishments.  This kind of thought will give me strength to continue on with wings on my feet instead of chains and an anchor that I drag.  Thank you Cal Count.Com. 

I never used to believe that I was capable of ever being "thin". I believe it now...thanks to this website. Seriously, I've dieted for as long as I can remember and everything is so gimmicky. I had never had something that I could look at on a daily basis and say "this is how it's done!". Nothing else seemed like I could make it a lifestyle until Calorie Count.

This article couldn't have come to me... at a better time.  I have been trying to get healthy since 2006.  I did have a set back (breast cancer) but since that little ordeal.  I am trying again to succeed.  FRUSTRATED, beating myself up, DAILY!  I originally started at 205,  then went down to 181, then cancer hit.  I gained weight again...and went back up to 193... I have been bouncing around 188 for a couple of years.  I started on this program... to track my calories...I have now GAINED again GRRRRrrrr  196.  I work out on a average of 5 days a week.  Over the course of 2 years, I have totally changed my eating habits.  I have a wheat/gluten & MSG allergy so I have even changed to making most of my own soups, & eat ezekiel bread.  I have a slow thyroid & take medicine to control it.         Yesterday, I had a complete meltdown, when I got on the scale & I was 196.   How can this be.... I was thinner when I ate junk!  I have tried mixing up my workout, I change up intensity, I do different body circuit training.... and no fat comes off.  I cried & screamed out of pure frustration.  "I am so sick of looking at this stomach hanging out"!  It's frustrating when you try so hard, and nothing changes, it's not fun to clothes shop... it's like torture.  I threatened to take a ton of pills and just end it all...

Then I watched the movie " The Secret" last night again...it has been months since I watched it.  It motivated me to think positive and focus on the end result, & what I have accomplished. 

Then today I saw this article...and I realize, that I was having self defeating thoughts.  Constantly, picking and focusing on my flaws.   Instead of concentrating on the fact that I am still alive after breast cancer, that, I am not dead so I am still capable of succeeding.  I will take a different approach.  I will not BASH myself any more.  I will gracefully accept compliments.  I will not give in to self defeat. 2011 will be my year to succeed!  

I found this website this morning and plan to use it to help me lose the 50+ lbs. I need to lose in the upcoming year.  I have had a lifelong battle with my weight and have tried a lot of different diets. I counted calories 20 years ago and lost 40+ lbs. I also exercised at that time.  I am praying that this is the start of a wonderful year and I can get to my healthy weight. I hope to be a success story someday.

My husband just left for Korea about three weeks ago and much faith is needed to stay on track which I haven't been doin too good at...thank you so much for this....reminded me of who I need to lean on to get through this time and stay focused on my goals!

When someone gives me a compliment I usually make excuses for why I don't really deserve the compliment.  "You really did a great job speaking at our meeting today" followed by, "well I forgot a whole section of my speach" and "I transposed the numbers of that date and I feel so foolish over that".  How do you learn to take a compliment?  I have been trying to learn that and at least now I can graciously say something like "Thank you so much, I really enjoyed speaking to your group today", but inside I still make those excuses and wonder how many people I was able to fool that I had my life together. 

I'm sure that being overweight and self counscious of how I look has made this worse, but I think the esteem issues played a bigger role in my letting myself get to this point in the first place.  I have lost my competitive spirit as a result as well.  I'm working hard on finding it though and know that some day soon I will get there.  This article was a great reminder for me to work on this goal. 

I just read through the comment for andhe and wanted to ask her to please keep her chin up.  Our outside and body are just that, the outside of us.  It is not who we are and should not be the most important thing.  From your posted photo you look like a beautiful woman anyway and you are a survivor! 

Greetings ~~~ 
A short note to say “Thanks” Carolyn Richardson for your discussions and for the contributors to this forum. In particular your subject on 'Self-Esteem' caught my attention. My sole mate of seven years is gone and I'm reading John Gray's 'Men are from Mars' ~~~~~. The result is a devastated self-esteem. And ~ learning the grace of 'accepting a compliment' has been a life-long objective; my Mother told me to learn to 'accept' with grace. Not easy for me. Too is the value of your reader's comments. “fridgelight's” analogy of the playground swing set and the “even the downward stroke” is excellent! I'll use that in a presentation sometime. Again, thanks.

Wow - so amazed by all the comments, I hope each of you continue to grow into a winner's mindset.  I'm speaking from experience and totally feel the lows and the highs of losing the weight and still struggling emotionally with it all.  andhe and 4photochick.  I've been where you are emotionally and BELIEVE,,, you really can do it and you DESERVE it!!!  As for me - one of the songs that keeps me going during a workout is Lenny Kravitz Dig In... google the lyrics if you'd like, but I swear this song will get you going in the morning!!! 

Great lyrics in that song.  It could be applied to many things including our battles with weight and waiting to live life right when we are thin.  No need to wait - live while you work right!

How I love and am so grateful for these kinds of posts. The soul is so beautiful it infinitely transcends the exterior. So why do I hate myself so much??  I fight for every bite of self-fulfillment I can dream of tasting.  One way of 'externalising' this desire to love myself is to pick on my body --- and I don't think I'm alone in having this response.  My logical mind tells me, 'Love YOURSELF', meaning more than just your exterior, and on face value I totally understand it... so why can't I FEEL it??

Thank you to those who post these beautiful, truthful and soul-tracing posts.  They remind me of what this REAL journey should be about... and it is so much more than daily restrictions we lock ourselves away inside of in the name of 'beauty'.

What a great anology about the swing! And you're right, sometimes we have to accept the downs in order to reach the highs!

Hi everybody... I was thinking about this post all day.  I believe as women we are taught from the time we are young, to not be stuck up.  We confuse confidence with conceit, which causes us to belittle ourselves when someone gives us a compliment. Ladies I know you know what I am saying.... think about this scenario.  A couple of guys in the bathroom talking to each other...they would never say, " good lord my hair is falling out, I am going bald, can you believe the muffin top I have hanging over these pants, by the way do I look fat in these jeans?"

But, as women we do this...constantly. Someone comments on our hair, and we say... good lord my roots need to be done, but thanks. " We compare ourselves with other women.  Belittling ourselves so the other person will feel happy about their flaws.  We really need to learn from the guys to stop doing this.  

Thanks to 4photochick  for the nice comment...I am truly going to strive to be better about taking compliments. :)

Believing was one of the most important factors for me when I started losing weight. It was really difficult to keep believing, but my friends really helped me