I want your feedback!! (Males!)

Calling all Males!!! (women can reply too though!) I am writing a paper for my human sexuality class about body image and self esteem and one of the things i need to cover is if i think men and women think about their bodies differently or differ in how important physical appearance is to them. The first thing i think is..of course women care more about their appearance and obsess over it more..but the more i think about it...the more i realize..maybe women dont. so i would love to hear some male perspective on how they think about their bodies and how important their appearance is to their self-esteem. thank you for any help, opinions, or information you can give me!!!

 

I would say my body image is huge part of my self-esteem. But it has litle to do with what other people think of me. I dont mean to generalize, but I think women tend to care more about what others think of how they look. Dont get me wrong, I constantly want to improve and be the best I can be, but the only person i worry about how I look like in front of is the man in the mirror.

thank you for your insight!!! i never thought about that. do you think that women tend to compare themselves to other women more than men comparing themselves with other men??

 anybody else??

I think that males think about it a lot more than people think.  Just we don't express it or let every one know were not happy.  I have never said, man look at that guy I wish I had his ____.  For me it is personal, it is like I am going after something in my own head, not what I see on a magazine or on the street. 

i definitely agree with you!! I think many people think that women obsess over their weight more, because women tend to talk about it more than a man would. thank you for your reply!!

keep em coming!!

 

Not a guy, but I just thought I'd point out that the fact that women hugely outnumber men on this site in the first place might mean something.  I think generally, men stake more of their self-esteem on their ability to provide for a stable home, etc., and women have more invested in their physical appearance so as to attract one of these so-called successful males.  Just GENERALLY speaking.  This is not how I think everything is supposed to be, etc.  Just GENERAL. 

I read a GREAT article from a guy's perspective about the difference between men and women's body issues.

http://www.womenshealthmag.com/sex-and-relati onships/male-body-image

It's honestly hysterical and my fiance totally agreed with a lot of the stuff.

*edit; there's a space in the word relationships so just take that out 

i am a male and i think that my physical appearance has a lot to do with my self esteem. i have never been happy with the way i look and i KNOW that is why i don't talk to girls. in my head, i already think that the girl i want to talk to wants nothing to do with me because of how i look. so i think that guys care about how they look just as much as girls, we just don't share it as much. it's not manly to say, "ewwww, look at my fat rolls....gross. i really need to get rid of them."

hope this helps you in some way. 

thank you for all of your replies!! all of your feedback really helped me!

Haven't read any of the replies yet, so sorry if I'm just echoing other people's comments.

In my case, body image is a huge part of my self-esteem.  I'm not as much worried about external reaction to my body image (i.e. does so-and-so think I'm skinny/attractive), but there's nothing like looking in a mirror and being happy with what you see.

I also think that we express it in different ways than women.  Every woman I've dated has, at some point, asked me how they look.  I've never asked in return, and I've never heard any of my male friends sweat about it either.  It goes back to trends you read about in psychology.  As a general rule (although not without exception), males seem to internalize their feelings much more.  This may be why it seems like body image is a non-factor.

Not a male: BUT I can say from my prospective that my husband is just as concerned about his image as I am. We talk about it more now than when we were dating. I know that he is very disappointed anytime he has to buy a larger size because the current doesn't fit. While he doesn't say, look how fat I am, he does say look at this picture. I was so skinny then. Therefore, it would be interesting if you were to have a few males that could see pictures of themselves as an adult and compare them to their high school or preteen pictures. I believe you would get a lot of insight about how men feel about body image. I also believe you would begin to understand that they don't express it straight-forward/talk about it directly, but there is no way to deny that they are concerned. Just show them a couple of pictures...without pointing out body image.....maybe say nothing ....I believe you will learn a lot!

Since December 1st 2008, I've lost 27lbs in weight. This has been a great self esteem boost. I went on a diet because I was classed as obese and needed to do it or perhaps end up with diabetes. I didn't do it to improve my looks.

I've never really been a vain person and in fact used to suffer from low esteem due to being short (I'm originally from Bangladesh and I'm short even for men from there :))

However since losing weight I must admit its been a great boost to the ego. Many people have commented on how much younger I look and better etc. Most important of all is my wife - who is very happy with the results of my weight loss and frankly thats what matters to me most. I know she is happier with the slimmer (and dare I say more attractive - at least to her) me :)

So to answer your question - Yes men do think about body image, but not to the extent that women do. Some men are more self involved I guess. I'm not one of them. But having returned to the body shape I had 10 years ago - I certainly feel my self esteem has been boosted.

Heh heh! Just read the article supplied by skinnyogi - funny and very true. I guess for men its mostly about getting into "our pants and yours!"

I've never really thought about self esteem with regards to my weight.  I am 38, and my weight has yo-yo'd over the past 12+ years but it usually settles at around 13st (182 lbs).  This is overweight for my height (5ft 9in) and age.  In December 2007 I was up to 13st 6lbs (188 lbs). 

It wasn't until I saw photographs and compared them with photographs from when I was in my 20's that I realised exactly how large I was getting.  My wife regularly ribbed me about it but it didn't make me want to loose weight.  I guess I was just content.  I have now lost 27lbs since December and I am now very conscious of the way I look. 

I beleive this is becuase everybody (women that is, becuase men don't think it's cool to comment) keeps telling me how much better I look.  So maybe I did have an esteem issue but didn't realise it until I lost the weight, becuase now I feel really good about myself.  I truly belileve self esteem is effected by what people say and do, and don't say and do.  I have now found myslef buying new clothes, getting contact lenses instead of wearing glasses and working out more, thus further fueling an increased self esteem.

Does this help at all?

I can't speak for others, but when I was at my heaviest, I was conscious of my appearance and avoided situations where I needed to wear anything that emphasized how fat I was.  But it wasn't that I really cared what others thought as that I didn't like the way I looked.  The fact that my wife was forced to buy me new clothes because I outgrew the old ones was one of the things that made me start losing weight.

And I do like the comments I get from people who tell how much weight I have lost.  On the other hand, people who make negative comments don't hurt me, I just ignore them.  I just don't have the time or energy to waste on stupid people.

Since I have lost over 100 pounds, the difference in my appearance is dramatic.  I like the person in the mirror much better these days.