want FREEDOM!

I'm 14, and I know this is alot to ask for but I really want more freedom than is available for people my age....
I have quite alot of freedom from my parents because they trust me alot... I moved out to live with a friend of mine and that's great, but I just hate how I can't ever sign for my own things and I alwayls have to have parental permission for everything...The thing that got me onto this a moment ago was a doctor called because I need to get an allergy test and she asked to talk to my parents to book an appointment.... I can book my own freaking appointment thank you.
Anyway, just my musings for the day.. I want to be able to get my license and live on my own and sign for my self... I WISH!

You're only 14!  OMG, enjoy having parents pay for doctor visits, health insurance, a house to live in, power bill, water bill, your car, car insurance, groceries, and the list goes on and on and on.  Once you turn 18 you won't have them to fall back on legally. 

Plus, I'd never let my 14 year old daughter move out (although she's not 14 yet) just because I trust her.  There must be more that you're not telling.  Enjoy your parents because parents age and they might not always be around.  That's the mommy in me speaking.

I did too when I was your age.  You have a lot more freedom than I did, or any of my friends.  It's a mixed bag becoming responsible for yourself ... good luck!

I've been there. I remember feeling the same way at 14.

Independence is an important trait that will serve you well. But don't be too impatient - getting older will happen soon enough. I sort of wish I'd spent less time fretting when I was your age, and more time doing stuff. And use this chance to really master the skills of living - financial responsibility, cooking, household maintenance, etc. That way when you get your first credit card you'll already know how to keep control. ;) 

Who's your friend? I'm curious about how that works. I considered moving out on my own at 14 but it never happened - so I signed my first lease at 16 instead (almost 17, to be fair).

And stay in school and DO WELL. It's important to keep all your options open for your future, because what you want to do in life can and probably will change.

Hey hey

my friend's name is Andrea, I have a room in her family's basement and pay only $100 a month for food, I'm so lucky!
I know, I know... I appreciate my family's support ALOT but part of it is that when I was 11/12 I was already really restless and wanted my own place, etc. Part of it was that my mother and I didn't get along well at all, my parents got divorced... eventually it felt like my family was just broken and I needed to get on with my life. I am the kind of person who has to express themself ALOT and I really wanted my own house to customize, my own Life essentially... and it just bothers me how all the laws have age limits, not like there's really an alternative, but I know so many 16-year-olds who should NOT be driving and a few 13-year-olds that should be.
If I could go back there would have been things that I would have changed and I would have enjoyed and appreciated my family alot more when it was still functional, I wish I had, but I really can't turn back now and I want to keep going and progressing and upgrading.
thanks all

Sounds like you're in a safe place (I assume Andrea's family is more functional than yours!). Keep moving forward and growing into yourself, but do keep in mind that someday you're gonna have to face all the family stuff. (I am still putting some of it off myself).

Again, it seems frustrating right now, but time will pass quickly.

who pays your rent?

WELLL *blush* my mom is paying my rent right now... which is awesome... but I'm also working for Andrea's mom and I'll likely start paying her rent soon instead... I'm not sure quite what's going on.
I realize that there might be consequences for me running away from family problems but I think I'll be able to forget about them sooner or later if I never end up facing them. good good.
I'm planning on starting to work alot more because money is good when you're trying to be independent :P

Work is good. I started working at 14. Just don't let it interfere with your school - it's easy to let that happen, because a paycheque feels so much better than a good grade, but in the end it's not really as important. Keep your schoolwork up to snuff and you will keep all your options open.

so your not really independent

pretty darn independent for a 14 year old living in a western nation.

I realize that there might be consequences for me running away from family problems but I think I'll be able to forget about them sooner or later if I never end up facing them. good good.


well, i'd beg to differ.  sooner to later you NEED to face them.  otherwise time will run out and you may regret it for the rest of your life.  i'm speaking from experience!!

Huh?  14?  I can't understand what parent would let their 14 year old CHILD move out.  Hope you are at least staying and  school and not planning on working at the local McDonald's or strip club the rest of your life.  You never mentioned the school aspect of things...........

Independent my ass.  Her mommy is paying her rent and she wants all the responsibilities on an adult even though she has no idea all of the hardships and struggles being an adult comes with.

i just deleted my whole post! agghhhh!!! anyway, in a nutshell, work is good, school is more important. i started working early and dropped out of school... and sometimes, i regret it. trustwomen is right, you must keep all options open, that's the most important thing. i didn't, and i let all my dreams slip away from me. and now i'm trying to recover them, but some are lost forever. don't let that happen to you, it's a very sad feeling. stay in school, and do well, no matter how much you end up working. and someday when you are more equipped to deal with your family problems, you can deal with it then. as long as you do someday and don't stuff it for good.

fallingstars727

you're right.  she has no idea of the hardships of being an adult, and if she did she'd be happy she was 14 instead of trying to be an adult.  it's not fun out here in grown up land!

I see nothing wrong with her mother paying the "rent." Frankly, she should; her daughter is still underage.

Vida, a parent had to make your doctor's appointment because someone has to pay for that appointment, and guess what? That someone isn't you, nor should it be! I'm sure you don't have your own medical insurance and aren't liable for the bills you incur for medical treatment. Yes, you're capable of calling the doctor the schedule the appointment, but that's not all that's involved. The doctor wants to make sure he/she gets paid!! (Can't blame the doctor for that!)

"Signing for" yourself isn't nearly so much fun as you might think! It means that if you get into trouble, you're legally responsible for making things right, or you pay the consequences. You want to drive, you say; do you know what it takes to keep a car running, what a pain it can be to register, how expensive car insurance is? (Want to pay my upcoming car repair bill? My car currently needs about $1000 worth of work, oy! Yeah, I don't want to pay that bill, either!!)

Speaking of insurance, do you know how to go about getting medical insurance, how much that is, and how to do the paperwork involved? How about renter's insurance? You may not need that where you are now, but once you have an apartment of your own, you will.

Do you know how to shop for groceries, prepare nutritious, balanced meals, budget your money so you can pay all necessary bills and save, too? How about budgeting your time, to make sure you have clean laundry when you need it (there's nothing like waking up to go to work and then discovering you don't have clean underwear or pants or a shirt!), the cleaning gets done, the car gets an oil change, and so on?

Do you know how to balance a checkbook? (It amazes me how many kids go off to college without knowing how to do this basic financial task!) How to evaluate loans? How credit cards work? (We won't discuss how much trouble some kids get into when they get their first credit cards.) How to file taxes? How much you'd actually net from a job paying $8 an hour?

Wanting your own place is perfectly natural, but learning that you can't always get what you want when you want it is an important lesson to learn in life. My 13-year-old son would like nothing better than to have his own place! Of course, he would still expect his parents to pay for it, arrange meals, manage the bills, cover his medical expenses, and drive him wherever he needed to go!

You might want to sit down with an adult, either one of your parents or one of Andrea's, and ask how much money it takes to run a household. You'd likely be quite surprised!

I haven't done this for a while, but every now and then, I'd play "Paycheck" with my son. I'd dole out Monopoly money to him, in the amount I net from my paycheck, and then go through my checkbook and ask him to pay the water bill, the electric bill, the mortgage, the gas bill, food, petrol for the car, and so on. Anything left over was his to keep. Oh, how exciting, how wonderful, he gets the left over money! .....except there was never anything left over.

I went to college, have a good job with good benefits, work in a professional field and earn a good income, and you know what? Money is still a struggle sometimes. Finding time is still a struggle sometimes. Heck, finding a clean pair of underwear is still a struggle sometimes!!

I'm glad you look forward to being on your own -- you should. That's what kids are supposed to do, and what parents are supposed to want, ultimately, for their kids! But don't be in such a hurry that you fail to learn some of the things you need to do to live on your own successfully before you get out there.  You have four years until you are legally an adult; use the time wisely to get the education, both inside and outside school, to be able to step into the adult world and know how to live in it.


Good luck, and have fun!

sounds like a fun game for a 13 year old boy (just kidding)

I think it's worth pointing out that we don't know the circumstances of vida's life or her family situation, and should withhold judgment on her level of maturity and/or independence.

I know what it's like to grow up too fast and to want to move out at 14. I had a job, a budget, a plan - and I probably wouldn't have succeeded as well as when I actually moved out a few years later, and it might have screwed up my school somewhat, but I wouldn't have been homeless or starving.

Like I said before, vida, work on developing all the skills that athene mentioned, while in your current environment - so that when you are able to move out legally, you will be ready to do so and be organized and truly free!  You sound very independent-minded and resourceful, and I'd guess that you're a quick learner. Instead of just dreaming of living alone, you will be taking concrete steps towards being able to make it on your own! Just remember - work and money are indeed important, but school is more important. Even though sometimes it doesn't seem that way.

And I know that the last thing you want to do is deal with the family stuff, and you don't have to do it now or in the near future. (I'm 30 and I still have some unresolved issues.) If you want to tell yourself that you will outrun them, and that helps for now, go for it. If and when it catches up and you feel the need to address them, you will.  No need to plan for it or get stressed about it.

{{hugs}} from someone who's been there.