Do we want to hear......

I woke up this morning and thought when I have a day that I either binge or over indulge do I want people to be caring and concerned or firm and cruel.  Well cruel might be a little harsh.  Yeah thats the word harsh. 

What I mean is if you have a day where you eat too much and you feel lousy for doing it  do you want to hear oh it will be ok just move on or do you want to hear you messed up  you know u shouldn't have done that now move on.   I think  most times  we sugar coat things and feel that if we hurt someone's feelings  it will make it worse for them but in all actuality we need a reality check or is that to harsh. 

Just curious...

By the way I am not a mean person just thought about it this morning after talking to some ppl on here and at home..

I want to hear "We're all human. Put it behind you and move on."

I'm too old to need a remonstrating parent.

well "just move on" sounds good, since its no good to beat yourself up over it.

that being said, being harsh is a good reality check, just like you said. if someone tells me how wrong something i do is, itll help me not make the same mistake again (ofcourse ill also be in a pissy mood the rest of the day, but still)

I beat myself up enough when I binge or overeat I don't need anyone else doing it too. I need support and encouragement that I will be okay and tomorrow is another day.

Kindal- When you have a day where your eating wasn't right for some reason then you talk about it with someone else and they tell you that oh don't worry everything will be alright does that confirm your feelings that everything will be ok or does it just make you feel like they are saying what you want to hear. 

sk33ny- I am kind of siding with you.  I want  someone to tell me a few harsh words and then it will be ok.  I want them to give me a reality check and say listen you have done this before, felt this way before, so why do you keep doing it to yourself.  That kind of talk would help me to reflect on what I did and how I can go about changing it.

Penny- We're all human.  Thats a statement in itself.  When do humans break the cycle of habit?  I don't mean to sound harsh!! 

Ajtimes, I think they do it when they choose to. Motivation must be internalized to have staying power; not because some pseudo-parental figure scolded.

ajtimes,

It makes me feel like they understand, that they have been there and that beating yourself up and putting yourself down with negative thoughts and feelings is not going to solve the issue but make you (me) feel worse about the situation. Does it make the binge or overeating go away? No it doesn't but it gives us the opportunity to start over and begin again. We all make mistakes, no one is perfect. No I don't want someone to just blow smoke up my arse, I want them to come from a place of caring and concern and UNDERSTANDING as they have probably experienced the same thing.

If you feel like you need a good kick in the butt that's totally up to you but it's not what I want. Each person has their own way of dealing with things. I have endured enough abuse in my lifetime and don't need to be put down or told that i'm a bad person.

Each person is different so for ME personally NO I don't want to hear someone put me down about my mistakes.

Kindal- I understand what you are talking about and I appreciate where you are coming from.  I guess I always wanted that also but now I feel that I need that extra umph if I mess up to get me thinking and make me realize that it happened deal with it and move on.  I am not saying that I want someone to run after me screaming your no good and a bunch of other negative statements, however if my friend  was to console me as well as put me in my spot that I can accept. 

I hope the readers of this post don't think I am some cruel person because I really am a very caring person...To caring I believe..

I talk to a few ladies on another posts and they are the best.  Very inspirational, caring and they really know how to motivate someone.  One of the ladies wrote a little line that I really enjoyed and fit right into what I was talking about earlier on this post.  This is what she said. 

DP I am using your statement " Buck up, accept it and get on with it.  Dont obsess over it.  Men dont so why should we?  Scale says we are up....ok, deal with it and MOVE ON."

Something like this is a firm yet caring and I feel that I need this every now and then.....  I hope this motivates others as it has motivated me to do my best today!!!!

Thanks DP!!!