Do I want to lose weight? I sure don't act like it sometimes!

Do you struggle with whether or not you are happy at the weight you are at, and then the next day feel like you need to lose?  I have this constant battle with myself.  It seems like on a day to day basis!  It certainly isn't condusive to losing! 

I'm short, and at the top of the "healthy weight range" for my height, so I definitely could lose, and have been 15 pounds or so lighter within the last few years, but sometimes I just don't want to have such a focal point on body image.  It really is all about vanity once you are within a healthy weight, and what you are comfortable with.  I find it very hard to maintain my weight at a 21 bmi.   

It is almost like saying I'm not happy with who I am today to put so much focus on losing, and I feel very grateful to look like I do.  Not to mention, when I lose, I lose a lot in the good curves.  But then, I hop into a swimsuit and I'm back in the hating my thighs and my little budda belly!!  Does anyone else struggle with this?  Why do I have to keep fighting with myself about it!!?

Do you work out regularly? While I still have lots (and lots) of weight to lose before I'm where you are, I personally find fitness a much more fulfilling goal than thinness. Find a workout or sport you love and want to get better at. Strength training and jogging are my obsessions at the moment, your body looking better will just be a side effect.

I SO UNDERSTAND how you feel.  It's totally normal.  One day I'll be totally okay with my body then the next I'm comparing myself to someone who is super ripped (I like muscles...muscles like the women in oxygen.) and think I need to work harder.  I admit I'm vain and want to go to the beach with a six-pack. ;) Curves I'm over them if it means having a lot of fat.  Personally I like MY body lean and hard better than soft and curvy.  I'm not saying I don't like soft and curvy on others just not on myself!!  I feel better when I'm lean but I have those days when I want nothing more than to chow down on pizza and on those days I forget my goals of being lean.  I agree those last 10 pounds are usually just vanity pounds!!!  Personally I don't think there is any thing wrong with that as long as someone loses them in healthy way.  I'm sure you know how you want to look, ie, what your goals are.  If you are satisfied with the way you are then you have reached your goal and that's AWESOMe.  Just remind yourself  the sacrifices are not worth it when you put on your swimsuit.  Since I want to be super lean I remind myself the pizza or whatever is not worth it since it will take me further away from my goals.

Thanks for the replies!  I do work out regularly.  Fairly diversified activity too.  From baseball to swimming and dancing to heavy yardwork!  We do a dance party with our son on Fridays!  Looking forward to it tomorrow, but my arms are so sore from playing b-ball yesterday. 

minda, I do agree about the health and exercise are the important part and the weight is the side effect.  From my calcs, the amount I've gained in 15 months is the equivalent of an extra 120 calories per day through that period.  I just stopped journaling, and that's what it crept up to.  Still eating healthy and getting my exercise, just eating a tad too much.

beasty, with that set of abs you should be happy everyday!!! :) My "curvy" part is the one that got messed with from being a nursing Mom, so they are very very sad when I'm at a much lower weight.  They really depressed me.  I have been trying to formulate my goals and I am getting there, but I don't have them yet, and that is why I'm having this battle.  I've been in weight loss mode for a little over a week.  What I'm telling myself right now is to split the difference (of 15) and stay in weight loss mode until I have lost about half of what I gained, and then just try to be at a maintenance level for a while and add more exercise.  We'll see!

Awwww thanks!!!  My abs don't look that good every day.  It depends A LOT on how much I eat, hormones, sodium, ect.  I think your idea of splitting the difference is a very good one.  I used to want to be at this super low BF% so my glutes would show through like my abs but realized it was going to require too much of a sacrifice and frankly I don't want to work that HARD all the time.  Checked out your pictures and I think you look BEAUTIFUL but I understand the mental ups and downs!!  :)