do you WANT to recover?

that is such a powerful question... when i think about it i consider what control over my life i have and what to veer it towards to make a workable life...

- im starting to become OCD on my schoolwork and my job...

i WANT to recover, i want friends i want a period i want a family a husband i want my parents to be happy and not worry about me i want to be FREE,,,, all that in a nutshell is wanting to recover

but most of all i WANT ME back, it starts with me and being willing and arugskin you do the best job of helping people see that, your a school psychologist correct? i bet you are amazing at your job, you have helped me so much!

MALIBU-wow, thanks, i honestly got teary reading that!  im so so happy that at least some of what i say helps at least 1 person, thank you!

so now that you know you want to recover, and you have various goals and aspirations in life that ypure looking forward to, what are YOU DOING to get yourself there?

whats holding you back?  do you want to look back on today and think, what if..take a step TODAY, get to your goals TODAY!

its up to YOU and no one else!

Agru- not just one, you've helped EVERYONE on here! I know I can always count on you when I need support and when I need to be reminded why I'm doing this. 

This is a really good question. Deep down of course we all want to recover, we want a life, we want health, happiness, friends, normality. I want to be able to enjoy food without being obsessed with it constantly. I want to be able to go out to eat, date again and feel good about my body, live each moment fully, not just observe them. 

but at the same time, I don't remember how to do these things. I don't remember who I was before, and am not quite sure who I want to be. So that's scary. I think not knowing how to live any other way creates this fear of recovery also and that holds a lot of us back. I know that's why my recovery has been so slow. I mean, I started eating pretty quickly after I decided to recover, but it's taken me a while to come back out of my cocoon, and I go back and forth between being super motivated and eating to gain, to just, ok I'll eat just enough...but going all out with my eating still makes me really nervous. 

So all this rambling does have a point...I guess it's just really good to ask this questions once in a while to make sure we're all still putting all of our effort into this, not just half heartedly coasting along. I DO want to recover, and I want it NOW! 

Thanks!! 

thanks GIBBIT! 

so i think its really important to remind yourself often, daily, of why you want to recover +what else life has to offer.  rereading these reasons when you are finding it difficult to eat may also help. 

also, rt now, youre not healthy, mentally or physically w/food thoughts taking over your conciousness, once you start to eat more (enough to gain and to heal all the damage malnutrition has done) then you will be able to think more clearly, not obsess over food choices, and start to live life.  right now, thinking is not really part of the equation, its the mechanical eating that we all know.  set a cal goal that you must hit it-at least, plan it out, and follow it, no qs, no excuses, no tommorrow!

every min wasted, everyday that you dont hit AT LEAST your cal goal, is another step back at returning to life +being ALL THAT YOU CAN BE.  its up tp you, no one else, take control of YOUR life!

hi

im new to this website, and i was looking through the groups and i thought this one looked good.

im 16 years old and a size 16.  i've been dieting since i was about 11 i think, but each year, my weight just goes higher and higher.  i go to a very competitive high school that gives me 6+ hours of homework per night, leaving me no time for myself, let alone to exercise.

i want to recover more than anything.  the last time i was thin was when i was in elementary school, i've never really felt good about myself.  i want to be happy with who i am, which means losing some pounds, but i don't want to neccesarily be THIN thin.  

my goal is to lose 50 pounds by next november.  i know it'll be a challenge, and that i'll have to find time to exercise 2-3 times per week, even if that means staying up later doing homework. but it's hard to keep motivated when so many people put you down.

thanks for listening, i just needed to vent a little, since there's no one i feel comfortable talking to about this. im glad i joined calorie count because i'm finally meeting people like me, with similar problems. im surrounded by thin people: my family, my friends, my classmates. i seem to be the only overweight one.

Bonjour: You'd be better off in the Weight Loss forum. This is a forum of people looking to gain weight, not lose it.

Um bonjour I think you're in the wrong forum... I got a little confused there.

Agru! I seriously can't get enough of your motivation! I love it so much! :D How do you stay so inspired and motivated?

Yes, of course I want to recover. It's my biggest goal in life right now and I pray for recovery almost every second of my life. If I had only ONE wish, it would be to recover from this bloody ED, live a free happy normal life and never obsess about food nutrition and calories ever again. I want to go back to my old self where I could just eat whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted. Where I could go out with people and not fear how the meal is prepared or whats in it.

But like Gibbit, its hard to do that again. Its like the ED has erased my memory and ability to do those things again. And a part of me is also scared of what happens after recovery. Will I keep on gaining? Will I be still obsessed with calories? Will my life ever be normal again?

I wish I could just take action like you say and JUST DO IT. But many things are holding me back and slowing down my recovery. I'm trying though! I'm trying so hard to push myself everyday and I know that all of us can push through and break out of this disease!

xx

Hi guys

uh bonjour your honest mistake made me chuckle a little, and then it made me think....when did we as a culture reach the point at which one has to "recover" from being overweight?  When did we start seeing it as an illness?  It makes me extraordinarily angry that we now have a culture that abhors variety, and people who don't fit in with the norm, in fact one could go so far as to say that our culture rejects being "natural" and with all the plastic surgery and attempts to alter one's body through dieting et al artificiality is what we truly prize, in fact, no woman is allowed to be woman any more, but must be something altered by the perceptions of others.  Anyway,this made me so angry I'm off to Tesco to buy some ice cream.  And I'm going to eat 3.500 calories today despite any stomach aches, constipation, feelings that I'll make it up tomorrow or other easy excuse-obstacles that crop up in my way.   

hi!

THEO-yes, i agree, the world deff has a skewed view of how women "should" look, not taking health into consideration, but you know waht i say,

    "I PITY THE FOOL"!

if some ppl want to live an UNHEALTHY life, NOT a full life, RISKS OF HEALTH PROBS, then thats there problem! not mine!

XFALLING- why "I wsih i can take action"??  do it! STOP THINKING! 

the only way to get over your fears is to actively take them on, have that snack, eat more carbs, eat your mother's cooking... 

how much more of your life are YOU willing to WASTE?

what is the ED doing for you? 

id love to hear all the positives of having an eating disorder??

uh...if we get captured we don't have to worry about the enemy using starvation as a torture?

THEO-i suppose this is how a pirate might answer, "hardy har har!"

BUT- i have found that while a few months ago if i didnt eat every hr or so id become incredibly weak, shaky, and sick, now, im getting healthier, have a bit more fat stored up, and i can be a bit more flexable w my eatin (altho i still eat every 2hrs!).  so yes, eating more, on a consistant basis to get healthy will deff ward off any risk of becoming captured and starving in a short period of time! so ha-eat up, you never know when i pirate might capture you!!!!

And a part of me is also scared of what happens after recovery. Will I keep on gaining? Will I be still obsessed with calories? Will my life ever be normal again?

i 100% agree with this statement!!!!!!!!!!! its like pushing me harder to recover but holds me back at the same time!!!

arug i second eat mama's cookin!!!!!!!!

how will you ever know your TRUE CABABILITIES until YOU take that step and see what happens?

life is about taking chnaces and rt now the ED is holding YOU back-who is in control here?

i can tell you that altho im not healthy-yet, im now eating more and i DONT think about food or calories! 

your weight is just a number, whats important, life+health or a silly number???

I hope you take those next steps and add the new foods AND kinds of food with your meals today agru!

yes, TODAY IS THE DAY!

yes!! yes i DO

everyday i strive to do so, i believe that at this time i need to focus all my attention to recovery, because ultimately once its achieved i can concentrate on thigs that are important, and whilst my mind is plagued, im never going to achieve my potential.

this wednesday is 'love your body day' and i vow to eat what i want, go all out, indulge and feel happy with the skin im in because that is true beauty

join me people

http://loveyourbody.nowfoundation.org/index.h tml

yes, i want to, i DO NOT want to be in the same spot next year!!

NO WAY!

im bumping this purposely bc altho i know recovery is very very hard, i think some ppl may need a reminder of their goals and requestion their dedication to life+recovery.

this is LIFE, LIFE!!!!!!!!!! 

please focus on your health+life, there is so much more out there!

BUMP! This is a good one to have near the top!

For me the real question is not, "Do I want to recover?" but "Am I willing to recover?"

For years I have waited for recovery to magically happen. But it is like hoping to get a job. Unless I fulfill the necessary requirements, draft a resume, fill out an application, and plod through the interview process the chances of an employer offering me a job are slim to none. Similarly, with recovery it is vital that I do the footwork to make health possible. Recovery won't just knock at my door. So, what am I willing to do today in order to make recovery happen?

Today, I am willing to:

- eat more than is comfortable both physically and mentally

- limit my activity level

- challenge the types of food I eat

- persevere even when I'm filled with fear and doubts

Tomorrow, in order to make recovery happen I will need to add to this list. Stagnation will stall progress. This is a question I plan to ask myself daily.

CHARLIE-youre so rt, you need to DO the footwork in order to recover, ACTIVELY face those fears or they will REMAIN fears-thats not life, thats beinbg stuck in an ED PRISON!

i WANT to be all I CAN BE!  i want to be strong, mentally+physically!

this is such crap already! i want a bf too!! lol