do you WANT to recover?

 

I just want to thank everyone who has posted here--you have really helped me on a gray day when my drive to gain was waining. I have been worrying about the fact that a lot of my gain is going to my stomach, or wondering how I will ever maintain, or if recovery is even possible....

AND IT IS!

Thank you, thank you, thank you! Look out world, here we come!

lol :)

yes- so i can spend more days out w friends, not thinking about food, talking and having fun, and eating what i WANTED, not what i THOUGHT I SHOULD have.

couldnt do it if i werent eating+getting healthier!

It's not a question of WANTING TO, it's NEEDING TO. We have all realised, that the truth is, the painful weight we felt was desireable - is not, and is also not maintainable. We NEED to recover in order to get on with our lives. If we do not - we simply die. If you want to live, you have no choice. That's the way I viewed my recovery. There have been alot of of times when I would not have cared if I did die... But I then realised, that infact my eating disorder MADE me feel this way. Starving wasnt going to PREVENT it the way I felt about myself, starving was creating it. It was stopping me from being a normal, healthy girl. And If I wanted to be happy, I HAD to recover - no other choice.

of course i do!!!! i want it like now!!! i want my period back!!! every morning i hope to wake up and see THE red stain on my bed... i want my life back!!! ow, i'm like totally restricted from my outing activities, sports ect... NOT by myself, but my dietition and nutritionist ><... 

 

i don't really care about my weight. i just want my life to be enjoyable again!!!

Yes and no.

Yes I want my healthy mindset about my body and food back. Yes I want to enjoy my life and be blissfully ignorant about calories

No I dont want to gain weight (which I luckily dont even need to), no I dont want to get my period back. They just hurt and suck. I wish they will never return. But my mom and doc dont agree with this (completely understandable...)

ieevee...

I'm sure we all wish our periods would go away just because they're a pain, but the fact that you are currently suffering from amenorrhea is a sign that you DO need to gain weight. Those voices in your head telling you that you don't need to gain weight are part of your eating/body image disorder. It's not just about fixing your attitude about food, it's about how you view yourself and your body. You have to do both to get better.

Would you rather have a once monthly pain or infertility and osteoporosis. Ask yourself that.

According to a recent post of yours, your stats put you at a BMI of 18.1 which is underweight and you need to gain. Given your history of restriction and that you are young and still growing, you ought to be gaining to a BMI of 20.

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If you're not certain if you want to recover, it's probably better for you not to post at all. My two cents.

I know I want to recover!  Sometimes when I relapse, I fall into a slump and question if it's even worth it.  But when I am eating enough and am in my right mind, I can see the light!  I know I do!  I want to have a family one day!

This is such an inspirational thread everyone! 

I've been trying to recover for over a year now, and every time I fall down, slip up, or screw myself over, I have to take a step back, dust myself off, and get right back on that horse again. My life depends on it!

I want to recover because I'm sick of being sick. I'm sick of feeling like I'm going to pass out every time I stand. I'm sick of feeling tired and achy all the time. I'm sick of telling myself to just ignore the hunger pangs, not to worry about it, to just keep going one more mile on the treadmill, one more hour before dinner. I'm sick of my life revolving around food and the gym and how I can get less of the first and more of the second! I'm sick of numbers ruling my life!

I'm at a healthy weight and have had my period back for three months now, but my head is far from healed. I still battle ED thoughts constantly, but threads like this tell me there HAS to be hope. There has to be a day, sometime in my future, when I won't care how many calories is in that piece of cake, where I won't calculate and agonize over every bite and fight myself to shove the proper amount of calories down my throat. If I keep fighting, someday I'll win. And I'm a stubborn chick. :P 

I want my life back. Period. 

Original Post by theofournay:

Hi guys

uh bonjour your honest mistake made me chuckle a little, and then it made me think....when did we as a culture reach the point at which one has to "recover" from being overweight?  When did we start seeing it as an illness?  It makes me extraordinarily angry that we now have a culture that abhors variety, and people who don't fit in with the norm, in fact one could go so far as to say that our culture rejects being "natural" and with all the plastic surgery and attempts to alter one's body through dieting et al artificiality is what we truly prize, in fact, no woman is allowed to be woman any more, but must be something altered by the perceptions of others.  Anyway,this made me so angry I'm off to Tesco to buy some ice cream.  And I'm going to eat 3.500 calories today despite any stomach aches, constipation, feelings that I'll make it up tomorrow or other easy excuse-obstacles that crop up in my way.   

 Theo, you've hit on one of my favourite soapbox topics!  What also gets me is that if an animal's ribs are showing, society says it is being maltreated or too skinny.  If a woman's ribs are showing, society says it's beauty.  Grrrrrrrrrrr

Okay, I'm going to post here because maybe if I say it enough, I'll believe it.

I want to recover. I want to feel healthy and young and strong again. I want to stop collapsing and stop being so weak. I want to have energy again and motivation to do all the things I love. I want to stop being so exhausted that I have to take naps all the time.

I want to gain enough weight back so that I don't have to haul a giant foam rubber pillow around to sit on because it hurts so much to sit. I want to gain enough weight back that I don't have to always wear shoes with gel pads in them every moment of every day because I've lost the fat protection on my heels and cannot walk barefoot.

I want to feel happy with myself. I want to be stress free and content. I want to just live and not worry about so many things. I want to not be secretely scared all the time that I'm going to die or have a heart attack.

And most of all I want to gain my enjoyment of food back. I used to love food. My brother's a chef in training and I loved cooking and now I'm terrified of the thing I used to love and I hate that, because God gave us taste buds for pleasure because food is so enjoyable and luscious and wonderful. I want to enjoy food. I want to eat and not care. I want to become a food photographer and then get to eat the things I photograph, how about that! I want food to be beautiful to me again. I want to recover.

yes.

i already have full blown osteoporosis in my hips and lower back and infertility and i'm 19 years old. from starving myself for over 18 months i've destroyed my body forever. I want to be able to stop caring about calories and be able to exercise again and not need to be weighed weekly and see a million doctors all the time and think about food every second of the day and plan everything out and stop worrying that my habits are going to rub off on my friends and two little sisters and stop feeling so guilty about what I have put my parents through.

and so much more.

mostly just appreciate that i have been given ridiculously good opportunities in my life and caring so much about my WEIGHT should absolutely be a lower priority than my art and my family and my friends. i have even put my eating disorder in the way of my religion which used to be so important to me. 

so yes.