Why do you Want to be Skinny?

there are people on this site who want to be thin or super skinny even when they're already in shape or "normal" in the teen community.

why?

can you feel excess fat in unwanted places?

would you feel more attractive/confidant if you were thinner?  if so, then you're just losing fat to be more appealing to others?

yes, i would feel more confident and attractive if i was thinner. saying that confidence related to "appealing to others" is untrue. everyone thinks i'm fine the way i am- its something I want to do for myself.

Original Post by lighterrose:

yes, i would feel more confident and attractive if i was thinner. saying that confidence related to "appealing to others" is untrue. everyone thinks i'm fine the way i am- its something I want to do for myself.

Please don't get sucked into that trap.

If you think being skinny is going to make you more confident and more attractive, you're probably wrong. Especially if everyone tells you you're fine the way you are. 

I got "thinner" for "myself" The end result was me being cold all the time and watching my hair start to fall out. 

And ultimately, the only comments I got were "you're too skinny, you should gain weight"

 

its not a trap. its what i think. how is wanting to be happier with myself a trap?

I would just like to lose inches around my butt/hips, I feel like its so unproportional to the rest of my body and I would gain a lot more confidence if it were smaller.

Original Post by lighterrose:

its not a trap. its what i think. how is wanting to be happier with myself a trap?

 My point is that simply being super skinny doesn't change who you are, and chances are it won't really make you happy. You might find yourself feeling even worse.

Based on what you have in your profile, you already ARE skinny. Your goal is unrealistic, and consistent with someone who has an eating disorder. In fact, you even admit you have one.

I've never been at a "normal weight" for my age and height, it's just how I am.  So when I got close to a normal weight I felt huge, my body's just naturally geared towards being underweight, so I have to be underweight to feel okay with myself.  I'm just not me unless I'm underweight /=

I try not to think about it so much now as I'm recovering from an ED, but I have to say, I do feel a lot more confident and attractive than I did at 15 pounds heavier.  But I also feel much more confident now that I'm a couple of pounds heavier than my lowest and am eating properly so I guess I've just found a happy medium.

I don't want to be any thinner because I'm thin enough, but I don't want to be bigger either because then I feel disgusting and like I'm not myself.

 

Sorry if this turned into babbley nonsence, it made sense when I was typing.

Wanting to feel happier about yourself isn't the trap.  Thinking that being thinner will make you happier about yourself is the trap.  Happiness is not superficial; thinness is.

Based on what you have in your profile, you already ARE skinny. Your goal is unrealistic, and consistent with someone who has an eating disorder. In fact, you even admit you have one

HAD an eating disorder. had had had. and i've gained 10 lbs, so that makes me not skinny.

I agree that being super skinny doesnt change who you are- but it can change how you feel about yourself.

If you say that no matter what you look like, you still feel that same, thats not true. I'm pretty sure that if an overweight person became thin they'd feel better about themselves.

 I'm pretty sure that if an overweight person became thin they'd feel better about themselves.

The real question is why they felt that way.  It's probably not because thinness is a virtue.  If they lived alone in a cave, would they even care whether they were thin?

More often, imho, it's because the weight loss gives them a feeling of accomplishment, a sense that they've addressed unhealthy habits and overcome them, and a motivation to continue bettering themselves.  There are lots of ways to get that feeling besides losing weight, especially when losing weight starts to affect your health and turn into a bad habit that needs to be overcome.

Original Post by lighterrose:

Based on what you have in your profile, you already ARE skinny. Your goal is unrealistic, and consistent with someone who has an eating disorder. In fact, you even admit you have one

HAD an eating disorder. had had had. and i've gained 10 lbs, so that makes me not skinny.

I agree that being super skinny doesnt change who you are- but it can change how you feel about yourself.

If you say that no matter what you look like, you still feel that same, thats not true. I'm pretty sure that if an overweight person became thin they'd feel better about themselves.

Don't be pretty sure about anything.

Unlike you I actually was overweight (obese). Did I feel better about myself by becoming thin? Not really. I got more negative comments about looking like a stick than I did about being obese.

There's a difference between being a healthy weight, and looking like a stick figure.

Your goal is to look like a stick figure.  

You still have an eating disorder.

Log off this site, and get the help you need (again). 

Unfortunately, from what all my councelors have told me, when you have an ED (yes I've had one), it never really goes away.  You can recover, but never be completely cured( kind of hard to explain). Of course, I was thinking, nah, I'll eventually get completely better, but I realize thats not true.  I have good days and bad days, and it gets better the longer you go with being a healthy weight.  It took a while to be able to get off the weight loss forums (I'm just on here out of boredom looking for something completely different ^^").  Eventually the need to obsess over weight goes away.  The fact is, if you are a healthy weight, and you are still obsessing about weight, you still have the remnants of an ED...hell the other day I thought I was the fattest person in the world, but that comes maybe once in a month.  You should not be on weightloss forums, but on ED forums.

i know i'm not completely normal yet. i probably wont ever be, actually. but i dont see that theres anything i can do about it.

i dont starve myself anymore- i actually pig out, so i cant be anorexic. and its not like i'm underweight or anything.

I want to be skinny because I have an eating disorder. Cleared that up.

But I want to not be hungry all the time, have energy, healthy skin and hair, and be happy more than being super skinny. So although I still want to be super skinny, I've come to realize that it is an unrealistic goal that calls for lots of sacrifices with little, if any, benefits. I did get compliments when I was at my lowest weight, but that just reflects how messed up other people's view of beauty is, too.

I'd rather eat actual meals than have a bone bag for a butt any day. :)

Well, I want to lose fat and put on some muscle -
 - A) Feel better about myself
 - B) Actually have a shot with the boys
 - C) Enhance my athletic performance

Also, I want to keep my nutrition up because I've felt better, sharper, and less depressed since I started eating nutritionally.

Original Post by lighterrose:

I agree that being super skinny doesnt change who you are- but it can change how you feel about yourself.

 

Since you had an eating disorder you should know that this is where the danger lies. People who die from eating disorders keep waiting to reach that magical point where they are "skinny enough" and happy with the way they look, the problem with that of course is that it's never enough.

The things stated in previous posts are absolutely true.

It really isn't ever enough.

I started overweight as a freshman and have been gradually losing weight until this year when I dropped immensely.  I became skinny and proud of myself at 140. But as hard as I tried, I couldn't break 140. I got down to 138 and hell, even 135 when I was ill. 

I felt awful. What's even worse I felt fat after I gained the weight back. Oh, I'm not toned like I want to be. If I'm 130 I'll be toned. It never happened. Now I'm 150 again, the same weight I was back in the summer. Now my goal is to get back to 140 and be toned again.

I'm still very fit, don't get me wrong. I don't nessicarily want to be 'skinny'. That itself brings on thoughts of an eating disorder.

I want to be healthy and happy. 

Original Post by dm84:

Original Post by lighterrose:

its not a trap. its what i think. how is wanting to be happier with myself a trap?

My point is that simply being super skinny doesn't change who you are, and chances are it won't really make you happy. You might find yourself feeling even worse.

Based on what you have in your profile, you already ARE skinny. Your goal is unrealistic, and consistent with someone who has an eating disorder. In fact, you even admit you have one.

 Off topic, but dude, your Oct 2007 and Mar 2008 photos are IDENTICAL.

Original Post by udokier:

Original Post by dm84:

Original Post by lighterrose:

its not a trap. its what i think. how is wanting to be happier with myself a trap?

My point is that simply being super skinny doesn't change who you are, and chances are it won't really make you happy. You might find yourself feeling even worse.

Based on what you have in your profile, you already ARE skinny. Your goal is unrealistic, and consistent with someone who has an eating disorder. In fact, you even admit you have one.

 Off topic, but dude, your Oct 2007 and Mar 2008 photos are IDENTICAL.

Funny, isn't it?

I put on 15 lbs and almost no one notices. It just shows I didn't need to lose those extra 15 lbs in the first place. 

Original Post by dm84:

Original Post by udokier:

Original Post by dm84:

Original Post by lighterrose:

its not a trap. its what i think. how is wanting to be happier with myself a trap?

My point is that simply being super skinny doesn't change who you are, and chances are it won't really make you happy. You might find yourself feeling even worse.

Based on what you have in your profile, you already ARE skinny. Your goal is unrealistic, and consistent with someone who has an eating disorder. In fact, you even admit you have one.

Off topic, but dude, your Oct 2007 and Mar 2008 photos are IDENTICAL.

Funny, isn't it?

I put on 15 lbs and almost no one notices. It just shows I didn't need to lose those extra 15 lbs in the first place.

 dm84 your exactly right no one cares if your a mere 10lbs heavier or lighter they really only care about themselves so why bother being extra thin, its also disturbing that the general trend is people get insulted more for being thin than fat which seems bizarre to me 

Original Post by dm84:

Original Post by lighterrose:

yes, i would feel more confident and attractive if i was thinner. saying that confidence related to "appealing to others" is untrue. everyone thinks i'm fine the way i am- its something I want to do for myself.

Please don't get sucked into that trap.

If you think being skinny is going to make you more confident and more attractive, you're probably wrong. Especially if everyone tells you you're fine the way you are. 

I got "thinner" for "myself" The end result was me being cold all the time and watching my hair start to fall out. 

And ultimately, the only comments I got were "you're too skinny, you should gain weight"

 

     whats the difference between losing weight to feel more confidant, and attractive and losing weight for yourself?

I agree with lighterrose, being skinny can boost your confidance. I just lost three pounds and I feel great, I also feel healthy too. When those three pounds seem like there never going to come of course you feel fat.

But thats not to say I'm agreeing with ED. I'm just saying that losing weight can definatly make you feel confidant and attractive in a positive way.