just want to stop this cycle

so i had anorexia like 5 months ago

now i'm in my healthy weight...

i'm not going to say numbers , and how many calories i eat per day, because i know how frustrating it is...

but i still eating the same amount of calories (100 calories more than when i was anorexic) and then binge, and binge, and binge again.

i hate this about undereating - binge

i binged for 3 days in a row... now i feel so awful... so yesterday i took 7 laxatives & today im going to undereat. i know it's wrong.

i go to a nutritionist and also a psychologist.

I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO.. what else. ugh

... just needed to vent

You need to tell your nutritionist and psychologist the truth, about what you are doing, because you are in a bad cycle right now and you may need some help from them.  Part of the reason you are binging may be because your body is NEEDING the food.  Taking the laxatives and then undereating is NOT good, and is only going to lead to more cycling between binging and starving AND bring about health problems, if you aren't already having them.

Please, I urge you, for your own health and safety, tell the doctors you are seeing. 

ah, and i came to my healthy weight with binges... and my nutritionist give me a 1600 calorie diet. but i just cant do it

i'm 13 and i  was anorexic for about 7 months and ate way too little. i've started eating double what i used too but it's still way below what i'm supposed to. i can't get nearly close enough to what i'm supposed to eat because i get too full. you should eat normally though, i've started too, it makes you feel so much better. just eat till ur full. you can't keep binging your whole  life so start a new, healthy eating style that you can keep up.

im so sad in this moment

this whole thing is ruining my life... my relationships, my family, college. everything

There are some good posts on this site from people who have been where you are now.  I've come to believe that an eating disorder is one of the worst illnesses around and my heart goes out to you.  I agree that you need to be honest with your Dr's and everyone who is trying to help you.  But one thing I read from someone here was to be honest with yourself.  Have you come to realize that your thinking is wrong or are you "white knuckling" it, just doing what you are told without really believing what you are being told?  This is not an illness that you can just grin and bear it and it'll get better.  You have to change the way you think and that's not easy.

I'll let other's with more experience but, as a therapist, I can say that being honest with yourself is really important.