wanting to have a baby but problems

me and my girl friend want to have a baby. Problem is she hasnt had a period in about 10 years before that she had two misscariges.she says that she does spot ocasnaly.What can cause this does this mean she can never concive we want to go and see a docter but she doesnt want to go and see a man docter.any help atall would be excerlent she is a type one diabetic as well and she drinks.

She needs to see a doctor. Period. Not having a menstrual cycle in TEN YEARS is NOT NORMAL. It is recommended that women see a doctor if they miss three consecutive menstrual cycles. She should have seen a doctor a long time ago. Not all doctors are male. All you have to do is an internet search for doctors in your area (or the old school method of using a phone book). She can even call her insurance company for a referral (if she has insurance coverage).

She should already be seeing a doctor regularly for her diabetes. She could ask her physician for a referral to a female OBGYN.

All that being said, you may want to look into PCOS. It's the most common cause of infertility in women and diabetics are more likely to suffer from it. (I know there are several women here who have dealt with PCOS; they may be able to offer great advice) Here's a link:

http://www.diabetes.org/type-1-diabetes/PCOS. jsp

After a little research, I found that Type One diabetics have more success conceiving after being put on an insulin pump.

If you want to have a child, she must get her diabetes under control. The risk of birth defects and miscarriage increase when diabetes is involved, especially if it's not controlled.

Please, speak to a doctor. Good luck!

She needs to see a doctor! Make an appointment with a female gynae and explain whats going on. The fact she hasn't had a period in 10yrs is indicative of a hormonal problem that may be sorted with medication? Spotting occasionally isn't necessarily a 'good' thing- she needs to get that checked too- has she had a pap smear in all that time? We can't possibly tell if she can ever have kids- there are too many questions to be asked & answered- and it needs to be done by an expert. Book the appointment. The diabetes/drinking aren't necessarily preventing her conceiving, but she needs to sort out her 'missing' periods first!

And good luck!

Hi thanks for the reply.she dosent like her docter if i went to see my own docter do you think he let me take her in with me

No offence- but if she's going to try to have a baby, and needs medical help, then she will need a doc/gynae that she gets on with? Does she not have a gynae that she goes to?

Failing that, give your doc a call first- don't just appear to him with her in tow- it'll put him on the spot! He might be able to refer you to someone if he won't/can't help?

Uh, yeah. This sounds silly. I don't want to be offensive either but I find it ridiculous that she won't visit her doctor because she doesn't like him. She needs to either suck it up and see him for her health's sake or be responsible and find a new doctor.

You shouldn't just show up with her at your doctor's office. They don't have her medical records and that's just plain rude. Like Irishmum said, you should call first. Ask them if they're accepting new patients and explain your situation to them. Again, the internet and phone book are excellent resources for finding doctors. In my area, the phone book even has a giant, green section for "Physicians."

If your wife has not had a period in ten years, there is something very wrong with her reproductive system and/or hormones. If you seriously want to try to have a baby, she needs to see a specialist and to get thoroughly evaluated to find out if there's anything that can be done to help her. It's not going to happen by itself.

shes got a new docter its while off but shes going to see him on the 18th may i think thats shes just scared that shes going to be told shes infertile but ive told her sometimes you just have to take the bull by the horn her ex did not care and it took a while to get this far with her to get her to talk about it i hope she can get pregnent but ive told her  im not just going to leave her cauhe cant have a kid has anyone came across this before im quite scared myself of what the docter will say is there anything she can do in the meanwhile to try improve things

Well good for her for finding a new doctor. I have a male OBGYN and it's not at all strange/weird/awkward/etc.

There is always adoption.

if she really wants a baby she'll go to the doctor.  I have a male GYN and he's the best.  If she hasn't had a period in years then she should be checked out.  And, of she has diabetes; I"m sure that doesn't help matters.  Be supportive; that's all you can do.  But, she needs to help herself; you can only do so much.  She's in control of her life.

I keep seeing all these posts from people in the US and it REALLY makes me concerned :S

Here in the UK i can see a doctor usually in 24hrs or same day if its urgent(many times they have told me to come in same day), and i can see ANY doctor or nurse at my local practice, and can specify if i like. I never feel bad about going to see a doctor if im worried about something even if its something as small as a bad cold.

I see all these posts where people would rather risk their health by taking online advice than going to see a doctor, and i hear peole having to wait weeks or pay hundreds of dollars...Is the health system in the US really so bad that people are too afraid/poor to see a doctor?

To the OP your partner really desperatly needs to find a doctor she is hapy with and see them not only about pregnancy but about diabetes. If she hasnt had proper medical treatment her diabetes it may be causing much more health problems than she realises. Surely its possible to call her doctors surgery and ask to see a female doctor?

Original Post by windra06:

I keep seeing all these posts from people in the US and it REALLY makes me concerned :S

Here in the UK i can see a doctor usually in 24hrs or same day if its urgent(many times they have told me to come in same day), and i can see ANY doctor or nurse at my local practice, and can specify if i like. I never feel bad about going to see a doctor if im worried about something even if its something as small as a bad cold.

I see all these posts where people would rather risk their health by taking online advice than going to see a doctor, and i hear peole having to wait weeks or pay hundreds of dollars...Is the health system in the US really so bad that people are too afraid/poor to see a doctor?

To the OP your partner really desperatly needs to find a doctor she is hapy with and see them not only about pregnancy but about diabetes. If she hasnt had proper medical treatment her diabetes it may be causing much more health problems than she realises. Surely its possible to call her doctors surgery and ask to see a female doctor?

 The healthcare system in the US can be bad. My employers have always provided health insurance at no charge or at a reduced cost. I currently have great health insurance for my family that costs us no more than a $25 copay if we see the doctor (free if we see a nurse; my hospital stay when my son was born cost us roughly $1200). I know from experience that insurance premiums when not through an employer are excruciatingly high. While waiting for my benefits to kick in, we chose to only have health coverage for my daughter because we just couldn't afford it.

I can get in to see my doctor (or one of the other doctors in the practice) within hours if I have a sick kid. My doctor will even meet us after hours or on Saturdays (as opposed to going to Urgent Care or the ER). It's a different story for physicals, though. I have to schedule my annual physical 3-6 months in advance. I also have to schedule appointments that don't involve illness (such as something like the OP's girlfriend would need) a couple weeks in advance.

It's not all that bad if you have a decent insurance plan and doctor. I think we may have some social/psychological issues with seeing doctors (ie: we don't want to burden them, we "give it a few weeks to go away") but the biggest issue is probably embarrassment. I don't personally understand it but my husband hasn't been to a doctor in six years because he didn't want them telling him how unhealthy he was.

Original Post by windra06:

I keep seeing all these posts from people in the US and it REALLY makes me concerned :S

Here in the UK i can see a doctor usually in 24hrs or same day if its urgent(many times they have told me to come in same day), and i can see ANY doctor or nurse at my local practice, and can specify if i like. I never feel bad about going to see a doctor if im worried about something even if its something as small as a bad cold.

I see all these posts where people would rather risk their health by taking online advice than going to see a doctor, and i hear peole having to wait weeks or pay hundreds of dollars...Is the health system in the US really so bad that people are too afraid/poor to see a doctor?

To the OP your partner really desperatly needs to find a doctor she is hapy with and see them not only about pregnancy but about diabetes. If she hasnt had proper medical treatment her diabetes it may be causing much more health problems than she realises. Surely its possible to call her doctors surgery and ask to see a female doctor?

It's funny you say this because the people who are opposed to socialised healthcare here in America use the arguement that it'll take too long to see a doctor if there's universal healthcare.  It is this bad, it's quit ridiculous actually.  I had an abnormal pap back in September and I am having medical professionals trying to discourage me from having another pap done because if the second one comes back abnormal I'll have to do something about it and that costs $$$.  So it's like what, I wait until I have cancer then go on medicaid?  It's the most ridiculous **** I've ever heard of. 

Last Fall I got a staph infection, it got out of control cuz I didn't want to pay for a doctor, and I ended up in the hospital.  4 days later I had a $30,000 hospital bill.  $14,000 of which was just for the room I stayed in!!

medicinalmary- I had the same thing happen to me, the Dr. first said to come back in 6 months then when I got there on the scheduled appointment they said their policy changed and they now wait 12 months to retest. That was the worst 6 months because all the time I kept coming up  with all the worst case scenarios in my head, but it did turn out that the situation had resolved itself.

Hopefully everything is fine in your case too.

kbos2hm- I just wanted to wish luck to u n ur gf.

Great that she's going to see a Dr. Sometimes it takes awhile to find an OB/GYN one can be comfortable with. Encourage her not to give up should she not like this Dr. Trust me, there are great Drs. out there it just takes a little looking. Also, other women with the same healthcare plan are a GREAT resource for finding OB/GYNs that treat their patients well and inspire confidence.

Having a good look round the net and doing quite abit research havent been to docters yet going two weeks time.pcos sounds more then likely ive been specking to my friend whos a nutrcianlist and she says by smptons that pcos is going to be the diagnosis but shes rathere more traditanol and dosent belive in medicine she has suggested losing weight getting to grips with my lasses weight and trying herbs thins that she has suggested are chastebery a herb and a weight loss product osolean what does any one know about these products any success storeys or is it just rubbish.update were off to the docters tomoro shes started passing  blood with out stools im very concerned so ive made an emergency appointment for tomoro

well been to doctors it was a water infection talked about having a baby but doc says to sort the water infection out first.A bit good good  news thou she has came on today dont know if thats a sign to be pleased about i hope its good news were going back to see the docter in two weeks my lass says she hasnt been on since she was 18 ill keep every one posted  the doc says as well shes still young and shes got that on her side i need to start eating healthy and so should she where do i start anyone any idears ?