Not Wanting to be Touched

I'm well aware that I'm more insecure about my weight then the average person, but I was wondering if anyone else hates being touched because of their weight?  I hate when people pat my belly or pinch my sides.  I cringe at the thought of someone holding me and feeling every single roll under my clothes.  Good thing I'm single. 

Maybe it's just you and me, but in my mind everyone MUST feel this way. My hubby is always yelling at me not to suck in my tummy when he touches me, but I can't help it! It's like a reflex! lol.

We need to start loving ourselves(imperfections and all!) or else how can we let someone else love us?

Good luck on the self esteem issues...I don't know how to fix them..but you're definitely NOT alone in how you feel.

I know what you mean, my husband always wants to pick me up i do not like that. Or for that matter having my fat touched.

People violating my personal space annoy me!  It's not a matter of weight, I just don't like being touched by people that I haven't invited to do so.

If someone patted my belly or pinched my sides without asking, they just might get popped in the chops.  Who the heck does that to you?  Put them in an armlock/wristlock next time they touch you without your permission.  That'll learn 'em.

The last "friend" who patted my ass got put in a half nelson

I feel awkward touching people if I don't know them really well. My close friends and boyfriend can touch me all they want. I'm pretty open with my body even if I do know I'm bigger than everyone else. I dunno why!

As far as I'm concerned, it's inappropriate to touch someone you don't know very well anywhere but on the arm unless they give you permission to do so.  I'm appalled by people who touch pregnant women's bellies without asking, and honestly, they shouldn't be asking either unless they're close with her.   If she wants them to, she'll offer.

But I digress.  I'm perfectly fine hugging people, but I don't want people actually touching my stomach until it's quite a bit smaller.  I'd like to think I'd feel differently if I weren't single though.

I'm a pretty affectionate person, so touching in general is usually okay. Somewhat obvious exceptions are complete strangers and people I don't care for.

Some things bothered me a lot when I was heavier, and they've been bothering me less as I've lost weight. I'm fine when someone picks me up now - not as afraid of hurting them or getting comments about how heavy I am. I just got a new boyfriend, and he likes to touch my stomach. Makes me uncomfortable, but I'm getting used to it.

Of course, part of why I tense up when people touch areas like my stomach and sides is because I'm rather ticklish. T_T

It is not just you. Touching someone when they obviously don't like it is wrong, annoying and occasionally worse.

Someone being overweight, or having a different hairsyle, being female, being a child (I used to have my cheeks pinched by sadistic adults, because I was "sooo cute!"), being pregnant are just some of the things that seems to set some people off with the inappropriate touching.

I totally am with you.  I'm almost 30 lb down (been with my bf, now fiance the whole time) and even though I know I look better than I did, and that he's always found me attractive regardless of how I feel I am constantly preoccupied when he's touching me.  Even during 'intimate' moments I'm looking down and feeling around to see how I'm folding or flubbing, making sure my clothes arent' cutting me in half, etc.  It's horrible. 

The worst part is that I know he doesn't care, and my over attentiveness to it is not only distracting to both of us, it's really unattractive!  Guys like girls who are confident in themselves, regardless of any physical imperfections

Original Post by tink8:

I totally am with you.  I'm almost 30 lb down (been with my bf, now fiance the whole time) and even though I know I look better than I did, and that he's always found me attractive regardless of how I feel I am constantly preoccupied when he's touching me.  Even during 'intimate' moments I'm looking down and feeling around to see how I'm folding or flubbing, making sure my clothes arent' cutting me in half, etc.  It's horrible. 

The worst part is that I know he doesn't care, and my over attentiveness to it is not only distracting to both of us, it's really unattractive!  Guys like girls who are confident in themselves, regardless of any physical imperfections

im the same way.it drives me nuts and he really has to work for intimacy because in my own head i disgust myself, no matter how many millions of times he tells me im sexy.

I don't like going out into big crowds of people because of my weight or going out to eat.  I feel as if everyone is staring at me making fun me in there heads.  I am a guy so people touching me doesn't really bother me to much unless I don't like them obviously. 

however recently I have been trying to reduce my stress caused by worrying about my weight because of the negative effects it has on our bodies meaning that stress is going to make losing weight harder than what it should be.  I found a good video explaining this I will post a link for you so you can check it out..its only 9mins and its pretty informative.  If you have the time I would recommend watching all his videos because he knows that he is talking about.  heres the link http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q96R21hJ1Ws&am p;feature=channel_page

I am sure once we all lose the weight we will look back on this and laugh about how worked up we got about it.  We certainly need to try to be comfortable with the way we look even if it isn't the best right now, but you know what at least we are trying to do something about it.  Good luck girl I am sure you will pull through it.

I hate being poked, and most of my guy friends think its fun to do. Idk why tho. Even when I was 115 I didn't like it. Ive put on some weight however and now hate it even more. I even had an (ex) friend who decided to pick me up one day. I told him to never do that again and he did it again. He just couldn't understand how insecure he made me.

I also broke up with a great guy because we went to starbucks and he tried to put his arm around me. For the rest of the night all I could think about was how he probably felt so grossed out feeling my fat. Yeah i thought i was doing him a favor by breaking up.

i used to be MORTIFIED when people touched me.
then i started going to massage school :) (we practice on each other 3x a week)
so i had to get over that really fast.
and it helped me a lot with body image, actually.

i used to hate cuddling because the guy of course wraps his arms around you and where do his hands end up? on your stomach. (or boobs, but shh!)
however, with my current boyfriend, i am almost completely comfortable no matter what he's touching, so i think it would also depend on your partner too. i don't feel judged at all around him, unlike every other guy i've ever dated.

it's something i think we all need to work through on our own, but it doesn't have to be that way. if you're losing weight, remember that all the fat is going to slowly go away.
and besides, after you lose the weight and people touch you, they are gonna be like, holy cow! where did it all go?
;)
good luck.

Original Post by tinybutspiny:

Original Post by tink8:

I totally am with you.  I'm almost 30 lb down (been with my bf, now fiance the whole time) and even though I know I look better than I did, and that he's always found me attractive regardless of how I feel I am constantly preoccupied when he's touching me.  Even during 'intimate' moments I'm looking down and feeling around to see how I'm folding or flubbing, making sure my clothes arent' cutting me in half, etc.  It's horrible. 

The worst part is that I know he doesn't care, and my over attentiveness to it is not only distracting to both of us, it's really unattractive!  Guys like girls who are confident in themselves, regardless of any physical imperfections

im the same way.it drives me nuts and he really has to work for intimacy because in my own head i disgust myself, no matter how many millions of times he tells me im sexy.

TOTALLY agree - been with my husband nearly 8.5 years, but feel like I duped him - I was a "gorgeous slim thing" when we met but got pre-eclampsia and toxcaemia with the baby (now 7) and now, well, I'm 15kg heavier than then, and probably about 20-25kg over ideal bmi weight.  Honestly, no matter how much he tells me he loves me and is getting more bang for his buck (so to speak LOL) I have to work really REALLY hard on just letting it hang out when we're intimate, or even just cuddling in bed.  We never shower together and if we're in the spa I make sure the lights are OUT.  OUT OUT OUT.  Earth Hour ROCKS haha. 

Somehow the fact he can feel it but not see makes me feel a bit better - that maybe it's not as bad as it really is ... I even hate getting my bikini wax done despite my beautician being so gentle and empathetic and kind.  She tells me the tabloids and "stars" with their personal dieticians during pregnancy and their clenbuterol, etc have ruined it for us "normal women" ... although she herself looks like a model LOL.  Still she says her mum used to look like her before having 3 kids, and now looks like me but it hasn't put her off having kids.  She's kind of cool really but I still feel self-conscious. 

Maybe it's all the visual imaging we get - you NEVER see a roly-poly Catherine Zita-Jones or Katie Holmes with stretch-marks and love handles ... so do we have this image stuck in our heads of how we should look when "enamoured" ????