Warning Against Demonic Halloween Candy

No, I'm not being metaphorical:

"...demons are automatically draw to the fetishes that open doors for them to come into the lives of human beings.  For example, most of the candy sold during the season has been dedicated and prayed over by witches."

(Link is to a synopsis on Huffington Post because the original page on the Christian Broadcasting Network has been curiously removed....)

And I just ate a piece of Halloween candy - mmmm....evil tastes good.....

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

Heehee :)

To quote Big Boo Hoo:

'Zombie virus is not a weightloss solution.'

I wonder is demon-candy is?

Original Post by kathygator:

'Zombie virus is not a weightloss solution.'

I wonder is demon-candy is?

 Well, I guess it depends on how much you think your soul weighs.

Hmmm. DemonDove might be worth...Eff Demon3muskateers, however. If I'm going down, I'm going down big.

omg that article is amazing! did that woman jump out of a time machines from the 1600's or is she really that delusional?

love the demonic candies...heeehehe

 Mike n Ike, the original fruits??

Original Post by jules817:

did that woman jump out of a time machines from the 1600's or is she really that delusional?

 Oh, come on, Jules - at least she hasn't lost sight of what Halloween is really all about... 

You do realize that this is a The Onion article, right?

Original Post by spoiled_candy:

You do realize that this is a The Onion article, right?

 You caught the winky at the end of that post, right?

(I love the Onion)

This is an article on there about why children don't want universal health care.  I like that one, what kid wants to go to the doctors?

The onion is great, I have it on my facebook.

It's totally true. Witches pray over candy before they eat it. Our prayers remove the calories.

Original Post by coffincritter:

It's totally true. Witches pray over candy before they eat it. Our prayers remove the calories.

teach me your ways witch!!

*signs over soul*

Original Post by spoiled_candy:

You do realize that this is a The Onion article, right?

It's not an Onion article.  I saw the original blog post on CBN(Christian Broadcast Network).  It was removed a few hours later but it can be found on this site:

http://www.charismamag.com/index.php/propheti c-insight/23723-the-danger-of-celebrating-hal loween

Original Post by coffincritter:

It's totally true. Witches pray over candy before they eat it. Our prayers remove the calories.

heeeey great trick critter

The Chrstian Network works its evil ways in my town- next year Halloween (Samhain) will fall on Sunday so the Powers that Be will only allow the kiddies to celebrate on Saturday.  We plan to be not at home on Saturday.

Original Post by poetnw:

The Chrstian Network works its evil ways in my town- next year Halloween (Samhain) will fall on Sunday so the Powers that Be will only allow the kiddies to celebrate on Saturday.  We plan to be not at home on Saturday.

What about the people who are not Christian/don't believe in that stuff?

I know Hallow's Eve was a Pagan holiday and later Christian's took it. So I don't get why Halloween would be evil on a Sunday if it's "their" holiday too.

  yep...especially in those damn miniatures!

So...is candy evil all the time or just the candy given on Halloween?  I guess either way I'm all kinds of evil because I consider "candy" a food group.  6-8 servings recommended per day or I can not be tolerated by most.

I feel better now I know I've been possessed all day.  I was feeling kind of guilty for eating so much candy, but now I know I've just been a victim of the demons :/

I think some of that evil candy has infilterated my house.  I was sitting on the couch minding my own business.  Then next thing I knew, I had blacked out and when I woke up I was covered in chocolate and empty candy wrappers.

Oh the horror!  There's no other explanation I can think of.  The demonic candy attacked me and forced itself into my belleh!  Yeah.....that's it......