How do you wax your face without destroying everything?

So, tonight was my third attempt at waxing my face (i have pcos, so i have hair issues).   The first two times I managed to make a little progress, but got speckles of wax all over the bathroom and dropped the entire bottle of wax remover down the drain (nice, huh?).  Tonight I thought I'd be a little more careful, so I put on some rubber gloves, layed down some papers towels, and tried to be as coordinated as possible.........and as usual, the night turned into a horrible disaster.  

Within 10 minutes I realized that this whole waxing thing just wasnt working, so I decided to start "cleaning up".   I had all the waxing accessories put away and just as I started screwing the lid back on the bucket of hot wax, the bucket popped out of my hands, flew up in the air, turned upside down, and doused my entire bathroom with hot wax.

It was 2 in the morning at the time, so I kind of had to wing it as far as finding the appropriate cleaning supplies.  I spent over an hour sitting on the bathroom floor with a butterknife, some loofas, face exfoliant, hydrogen peroxide, and hand soap, scraping hot wax off my bathroom counter and floor.

All in all, I managed to destroy:

1 butterknife

2 loofas

2 of my moms lipsticks

1 of my moms lipliners

1 roll of toilet paper

1 bottle of deoderant

1 tube of toothpaste  and

1 flip flop

Basically, what the f is my problem and how do I do this?

If I went and videotaped all of my destructive moments, my entire life would be on youtube, lol.   Although, with my luck, I bet the one time I did videotape something would be the one time that I actually functioned like a normal human being....and nobody wants to see that on youtube.

facial BLEACH!!! before you kill someone!!