101 Ways to Murder A Scale

I am currently UNHAPPY with my evil, nefarious, traitorous scale and have been seeking ways in which I can vent my aggressions and see to the timely demise of my scale. My scale must die.

Feel free to post your creative ways to Murder a Scale. (And don't try to cheer me up and use the words "it's just water retention" or I promise I shall shriek and shriek.)

1. Fling it with wild abandon into the middle of the leaf-filled swimming pool, watching a stream of bubbles as it sinks to the bottom with a gentle THUD.

2. Hand sledgehammers to a group of hyper 5th grade boys and tell them to "Whack it" until it's dead.

3. Climb to the top of a 4-story parking garage, make sure no one is in the way, and then push it off the edge so it can go hurtling down toward the asphalt.

4. Bury it under a 6 foot pile of warm cow manure.... and leave it there.

5. Back over it with my wonderful DH's Explorer.

6. Tie a sheet to it and see if it can parachute off the top of my garage.

7. Use it for target practice (in a suitable area for firearm usage, of course)

8. Two words ... Batting Practice

9. Two words ... Tackling Dummy

10. Two words ... Bungee Jumping

grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

=^..^= MOLLY

Two Words.... Clay Pigeon... or Clay Scale, perhaps..

*pulls back, aims, shoots* 

Slice open its soft underbelly and while it still breathes, slowly draw out its slimy innards. 

(Did I reveal too much of my dark side there?)

My husband has a large bull dozer...

And a large back hoe...

There's a underground lake near me, which has swallowed a few large dozers...

We also have a large wood burning furnace...

Think any of those would help? Those oughta' teach it some better manners, at least!!!

I love the pool best, lol!!!

Original Post by hkellick:

Install Windows Vista on your scale. That will kill it >;)

Give it to my seven year old and tell him it's used to measure dinosaur stomping force.

Two words:  Hydraulic Press

One word:  Pinata

Drive a long metal stake through the center, then set it outside during a lightning storm.

Wrap it in a turban and tell George Bush it's an enemy combatant.

(Why am I suddenly envisioning that scene from "Office Space" where they're destroying the printer out in the middle of a field....?)

Position carefully...!!!!

Exactly where you'll drop it...!!!

Difficult to judge from that high...!!!

Drop a Baby Grand Piano from whatever sky-scraper you love most...!!!

Sell video's to make money to purchase a GOOD scale, lol!!!!

Def. of GOOD= "Well-Behaved."

feed lots of holiday cookies to it and make it fat! ha! now it knows what it feels like to be heavy.