Wedding attire question?

My mom and I are debating. My brother is getting married in September and she's not sure what my father (father of the groom) should wear. The father of the bride is wearing a tuxedo because he'll be giving the bride away, therefore, he's part of the wedding party. My brother's fiance says that since my father isn't part of the wedding party, he doesn't need to wear a tux & should just wear a suit. My mom thinks that he might feel out of place just wearing a suit and she thinks he should also wear a tux.

I have no idea... what's the proper attire for the father of the groom?

your dad should wear a tuxedo. it'd look weird for one father to be all snazzy and the other one looking like he didn't care enough to dress properly.

father of the groom should wear a tux. otherwise he'll look like the black sheep in the pictures.

Original Post by dalmalama:

your dad should wear a tuxedo. it'd look weird for one father to be all snazzy and the other one looking like he didn't care enough to dress properly.

 my FIL wore a tux too. I agree.

def a tux.  

For my wedding, all family members were considered as part of the "wedding party" as far as attire was concerned.  So the mothers agreed to wear something similar (not matchy, just in the same general "style") and the fathers wore the same tuxes as the groomsmen.  I definitely think your father would feel uncomfortable not wearing a tux when everyone else in the wedding is - and just because he is not walking down the aisle with your brother, doesn't mean he is not involved in the wedding!  He is the father of the groom after all!  :)

Since the bride said he should wear a suit & my mom doesn't want to argue, he'll probably wear a suit.... but I think he will look less dressed up than the rest of us (my bf and I are both in the wedding party too).

He should wear a tux. The bride probably said suit as a minimum requirement but a tux would be far more appropriate considering the groom, his son, is also wearing one as are the rest of the men in the wedding party. Suits are far less formal and he will look out of place. (PS, I'm a wedding planner)

ETA - meant to add, that this is regardless of the fact that he is not part of the bridal party.. I'm sure the bride won't mind that everyone is trying to dress up for her very special day and it won't be a matter for a fight as you mention...

TUX! :)

he should wear a tux

How formal of a wedding is this?  Are the mothers wearing formal wear?

At my wedding, which was relatively informal, no bridesmaids or groomsmen, my father got a tux, my father-in-law got a suit.  We didn't think it was worth the expense or trouble of getting him a tux, he would have been uncomfortable in it...

But other weddings are more formal.  A tux would make things more symmetrical, which isn't really necessary, but you also want to consider the bride's wishes.

Original Post by puh8suwrux:

...but you also want to consider the bride's wishes.

somewhat off-topic, but i HATE this! it is NOT her day. she and the groom are beginning a marriage, together. if any time's a good time to practice problem solving together it's planning the wedding. this is not the time to give some chick everything she wants. can anyone say bridezilla? and how selfish would it be to just do and get what you want w/ no consideration for anyone in or out of the wedding party?

That is why I said CONSIDER the bride's wishes - not bow down to them!  Of course she is not the only one in this, and I never meant it that way. 

And I'm sorry, but in my experience, often the wedding is not about the bride getting everything she wants - it is about the bride's mother finally getting the wedding she wants!

A tux? Or: Snazzy suit? Hm. I'd suggest talking to your brother about it alone.

(( If: It's a concern for your father. Otherwise: Let him wear a snazzy suit for the occasion that's up to par. There are plenty of suits that are actually quite dashing. He may need to be shown how to dress up a suit for the occasion. There are various types of suits usually suitable to any occasions. It doesn't have to be something that's dull/drab/common.There are plenty of stylish and fashionable suits out there. I think it actually gives him more of an opportunity to stand out. - In a potential good way!))

Explain the reasoning that your father would also like to wear one if that's the case. The bride may have thought it was an extra expense she could save your dad. Sometimes people generally aren't trying to make you feel excluded/unimportant. :) Communication is key! She probably didn't want him to feel forced into a tux/extra expense. Either way: She's labeled a Bridezilla so whatever,Lol! She may have been trying to avoid that with suggesting the suit.

Personally: I'd try to be considerate of the brides wishes and your fathers. I suggest that it's mentioned nicely to your brother. Talk Nicely!

puh8, i wasn't flaming you, i was just throwin' it out there. and i've noticed moms think it's their day, too!

For my wedding, the groomsmen had tuxedos with colored ties and vests, and the dads had the same tuxedoes, but with black ties and vests.  When you take formal pictures, you will take photos of just the groom and his family, so you want everyone to look nice together.

Original Post by cellophane_star:

My mom and I are debating. My brother is getting married in September and she's not sure what my father (father of the groom) should wear. The father of the groom is wearing a tuxedo because he'll be giving the bride away, therefore, he's part of the wedding party. My brother's fiance says that since my father isn't part of the wedding party, he doesn't need to wear a tux & should just wear a suit. My mom thinks that he might feel out of place just wearing a suit and she thinks he should also wear a tux.

I have no idea... what's the proper attire for the father of the groom?

He IS part of the party and he SHOULD wear a TUX... maybe the bride isn't aware that is usually how it is done.  But - I have never seen it done where only one father gets the glory.

He, as parent of the groom, is part of the wedding party.  He should wear a tux.

If the father of the bride wears a tux, so should the father of the groom....

At my wedding both parents wore a suit, though!