Weekend alone... Adivice? Help?

I have a bit of dilemma… my boyfriend is going away for the weekend this weekend to stay with his mum but will be spending the whole weekend out on the water fishing by himself. Usually I go along for the weekend and find something else to occupy my time while he is out fishing all day (I cant go with him as he goes in a 1 man boat) like hang out with his mum or just hang around the house but I have had a really hectic last few weeks at work so am really tired and we just saw his mum last weekend when she came to visit so am thinking I won’t go with him this weekend.

So my dilemma is that one of my big issues at the moment is keeping control of my ED when I am unsupervised. I am fine at work  - I do snacks, I have proper lunch etc but when it is the weekend and I am by myself or dinner time during the week by myself I get thoughts that I want to restrict or I think about going for a run…

I am scared that I am not gaining fast enough and that this weekend could set me back a bit if I am not pro-active… my mum is really helpful and is there to support me by phone but I don’t want to have this issue forever so I guess am seeing this weekend as a challenge for myself to show myself I can do this and I can stay sane and logical by myself and keep moving forward in recovery…

So I am a bit torn – half of me is saying ‘become a hermit all weekend and you can go for a run, not eat much etc and no one will know…’ and the other half is saying ‘use your time to catch up with girlfriends, go for a nice walk (not run!) to clear your head and enjoy the nice weather, make meals that you enjoy (that are calorific!) but that your boyfriend doesn’t enjoy’.

 Sorry – just looking for some support and motivation and any tips!!!

Hi darling,

I live alone so I know exactly how you feel.  I also waitress in the evenings, so if my spare time isn't planned to military precision I end up having no social life.  Here's what I'd suggest: PLAN AHEAD! Seriously, like a campaign.  Try and think of the times when you feel least strong and most unhappy and plan something for those times: I know that my worst time of the day is the mid afternoon, 3-6 so I always try tohave something to do: I meet a friend, I plan it so I have a chore to do or something at that time, and that distracts me.  And make sure you plan your food around your schedule.  Could you make it part of your social agenda?  Are you up to meeting girlfriends for lunch?  You could just go to starbucks, or have a long lazy picnic in the park.  And in the evenings maybe watch a film, just relax on your own.  The most important thing is not to leave yourself with nothing to do, honestly, it doesn't really matter what you do (well it does i.e. NO RUNNING) as long as you have something and are not just sitting there moping.  If its time to yourself you enjoy, schedule that in, if its meeting friends, put that in, I just find the thing is never to have a plan or not have anything you want to do.

Hope this helps, and Good Luck.

xxx

thanks so much for the helpful tips and advice and it's good to know I am not alone in this.

I have teed up brunch with a girlfriend tomorrow and also had a really good chat to my mum about some of my favourite foods to make myself this weekend and she is 'on call' all weekend :) she is my superstar through this whole thing!

I am also planning on trying to schedule a catch up with another friend for Sunday.

One good thing is that my bf came home for dinner tonight before he left so I have started the weekend off with a big bowl of vegetarian pasta with lots of parmezan cheese - yum! :)

The key is definitely to keep myself distracted though and to also remind myself that distraction doesn't necessarily equal physical activity - it can be sitting reading a book or watching a movie etc

Thanks so much! :)

Part of recovery is taking control and being responsible for oneself. It may be hard but possible. You need to use self coping skills and be self reliant. In the long run if you stay in recovery and do it for you I think it will give you a great feeling. So possibly setting up a meal plan for the time he is away and sticking to it. Then using coping skills like calling a friend or family. Posting on here. Have a routine like go to a movie etc. You can do this

like abbie said this is something we all have to do. this will be a good testing experience for you , at least you are aware of where you may slip bk hopefully knowing this you will be able to prevent this. so try your hardest to keep doing what you are doing if you do have a brk from recovery it will just feel even harder on monday when he returns . if its easier you could invite a friend for lunch or your mum go into town with friends make sure you keep busy ( but i dont mean running by this. ) but make sure you plan your meals in to as well,have a good weekend h x

I don't have an ED but my husband is going on a LONG bike ride with his buddies tomorrow and the gals aren't invited. I am SO looking forward to a Saturday by myself! I have a list of things I want to do, and even a few that a should do. I don't know what I want to do first! I try to eat the same general things every weekend for breakfast. Hmm... probably leftovers for lunch. I think I will fix a nice dinner for when he comes home... maybe have friends over too. Occasionally my husband is gone for the whole weekend and then I call up all of my single gf's and do movies, dinner, happy hour, whatever! I miss him, but I have a great time! So, HAVE FUN! Maybe you will have so much fun that you won't remember you have an ED... :)

thanks guys - I really appreciate your support. Fantastic advice from all of you.

abbi - yes I talked through a meal plan with my mum last night so am feeling ok about that aspect of it, I just need to make sure I follow it.

abbi & tessa - I am very much looking at this challenge in a positive way as I am really longing to get out of the grasp of this ED so the more I can challenge myself and prove to myself I can do this the better and as such I am going to go at this with a plan so I know that I am in the best position to get myself through the weekend with no setbacks.

carolann - I have organised catch ups with two of my girlfriends but I also want some 'me' time so am going to do some gardening and a few things around the house (we recently moved into a new place) and am really looking forward to just enjoying that peace and quiet. I think I will settle myself in for an early night with a good old movie and some ice cream or chocolate tonight!!!

I appreciate this guys - thanks.