weekend binge.. grrrrr

My brother is getting married at the end of Sept. and to raise money for it, he and his fiancee had a "Buck and Doe" this weekend, they live in Collingwood, ON and i thought this would be a nice opportunity to dance my ass off (literally) as well as swim in mom's pool and get lots of walking in down by the bay.

i did dance.. like a maniac.. but it sure as hell didnt make up for ALL THOSE DAMN CHOCOLATE-PEANUT BUTTER BRITTLE pieces and a BROWNIE WITH FROSTING.

i hate myself today.

Saturday morning i woke up to 111lbs. smiling up at me from mr. trusty scale. So happy.. havnt seen that number in months.. finally on the right track.. and then what do i do.. eat a tim hortons whole wheat bagel with light cream cheese and tomato slices = 400 cals!!! i decide thats brunch and refuse the DOUBLE CHOCOLATE BROWNIE SOMETHING BLIZZARD from Dairy Queen that my  boyfriend is trying to shove in my face. pheww..

at the buck and doe, i serve jello shooters have 6 rum and diet cokes and dance like a crazy woman for about an hour.

then.. the worst thing in the whole world... i'm so drunk and hungry.. and everyone else is doing it.. (and my soon-to-be-sister-in-law, friend and .. well everyone in this hick town are bigger than me.. so...)

I CAVE - i eat almost  1 ENTIRE SLICE of FATTENING CHEESE PIZZA.

the next day at the wedding shower i'm doing great with vegs. and fruit and diet coke only until BAM! that chocolate brittle and brownie (as above mentionned)...

i got home on sunday night and weighed 116lbs.

I AM SUCH A FAILURE! why dont i have any self-control i used to be sooooo perfect and what i ate.. ahhhh! ok well that was that. i needed to let that out.. 3 times... in my journal in another forum.. oh! im sooooooooooooo mad! enough. i'm venting sorry guys.

You're not a failure!!! I saw your post on the thread I started, but it was too late by the time I was about to reply...figured you wouldn't see it. So now I get to say stuff!

So, a weekend is a weekend. In the grand scope of things, one weekend doesn't hurt anything. And, hey, weight fluctuations can be HUGE after a binge, because of all the sodium and carbs.

And being drunk and hungry is NOT a good combo. After two drinks of anything (I have a really low tolerance), I'm STARVING. Blame it on the alcohol. Now you're in your right mind and can plan your meals and get back on track.

EVERY WEEK when I used to go out with the girls, we would always go to the bar. And I'd always say I was only going to drink one drink, but of course, the guys buy you stuff, and you're plastered by the end of the night. I would eat and eat, and THEN on the way home, I would suddenly get a craving for one of those hot-chocolate drinks from the cappuccino machine at the gas station. QuikTrip has strawberry hot chocolate! And you can't have a strawberry hot chocolate without a king-sized PayDay. WHAT?! I didn't need all those calories!!!

Pfft. 1 slice of pizza? Try half a pizza. ;) Remember: these aren't CHEATS, they're TREATS. Don't beat yourself up about them!

I woke up after my cheat day -- and I ate maintenance calories -- and I weighed 3 pounds heavier. What! I know. Sodium, my dear. Sodium

No worries!!!!!!!!!! Can I add you as a friend?

lizzle

I'm going to pull a page from finewine's book: Get Over Yourself.

Yesterday was yesterday. Today is today. Today is a brand new day that you can do spectacular on.

Move On.

Don't punish yourself. Don't hate yourself. Don't starve yourself in the hope of recouping calories. Just keep doing your best and remember that tommorow is a totally new day.

of course! i have no friends as of yet.. and well, as you can see, i'm new to this site.. i have pretty severe OCD and even though we might not like to admit it, i think most of  us here have a little bit of an ED as well... we all need support.. i DEFINITLY need support; i'm terribly impatient and also have an unrealistic goal.... i want to drop down to 95 lbs. so i look good enough to dance in the nutcraker.. rehearsals start in october.... i really want to 100lbs by then... i'm screwed. and feel totally discouraged. but im done work and heading to dance class now. so i guess we'll talk soon. goodnight!

OK... picking up on something.

Dancing, how many calories a day do you eat?

Because if you're binging because you're trying to eat less than 1200 calories so you can lose the weight.. STOP! That's incredibly unhealthy and you can probably expect alot more binging. Your body NEEDS a certain amount of calories. ESPECIALLY if you're very active dancing.

heyy dancing. im a dancer too. how tall are you and how many calories are you consuming because with training you need to eat enough to keep your body and dancing up. If you deprive yourself of calories you will loose your jumps and mustle and will not perform as well.

i am 5'6'' and around 103-104 but i eat almost anything to keep my body energized. I also an going into a professional company this year so its really important that ii don't burn out before i hit my prime.

and don't fret about 1 SLICE of pizza. i eat junk everyday and a little chocolate and fat in your diet wont hurt you.

let me know if you need any help with anything.

yeah no... you see.. YOU are 5'6'' and 103 lbs.

I am obese! at 5'2'' and this morning - 114 lbs...

YOU ARE 4 INCHES taller than me... don't you understand.?. i have no choice.. if i dance and walk everyday then i can keep my metabolism from dropping but the ONLY way for me to lose FAT, is to stay at around 900 cals. a day. i know i know i know i've heard it all before... dont go under 1200 blah blah blah.. i COULD damage my body but when i was in ballet school eating 500cals a day i dropped from 100 lbs. to 69lbs. (yes ok that was gross and i do not wish to return to anorexia .. but... ) ANYWAY, the bingeing is caused by HAPPINESS not sadness and not hunger... i am quite attractive at this weight for a NORMAL person blah blah .. except that for a ballerina i am OBESE.. because of the 900 cals yesterday i dropped two pounds overnight and thats how it has ALWAYS worked for me.. i'm sure i'm going to get a million lectures for this but we all know our bodies well enough to know how they work and what is required to lose weight.. ME - I HAVE TO EXERCISE for 2 hours EVERYDAY and eat 900 cals of GOOD FOOD... thats it thats all. the only way it works...

KMS - what dance company are you joining? I'm just doing nutcracker - its for a seasonal company in montreal called Ballet West.. just a small company.. but lots of fun!

oh and what school did you attend i went to Les grands Ballets Canadiens school in montreal - currently it is called " L'ecole nationale de ballet contemporain" .. crazy place ballet school...

anyway cool. back to counting calories...

im actually joining PBT or Pittsburgh Ballet Theatre. I'v also trained at American ballet theatre, houston ballet, and The Rock School. Its cool that theirs another dancer on here.
...although i really think that with doing 2-3 hours of ex. a day you should at least be having ... 1200 calories. plus if you struggled with anorexia before your friends and family might get worried that you are dropping weight too fast. Its fine that you think your not in shape (your not obese) then i think that you should loose the weight not as rapid and in a healthier way. plus it wont come as such of a shock to your body.

O what rolls are you doing in the Nut?

Also you should put up a picture so people don't judge you with-out knowing what your body looks like.
Trust me its happened to me before on here

yeah... thanks for the support.. i know i'm not obese.hahahah its just hard getting back into shape after all these months off-and really i have put on a lot of weight by not exercising - i havnt really danced much in the past ten months since nutcracker last year.. and i'm not sure what roles i'll be doing this year.. the usual audition process starts mid-october. last year i did waltz(flowers),snow(demi-soloist), russian (pas de deux) and "candy canes" (a strange very technical pas for 5 girls.. tutus in candy cane pattern).. this year i expect to be doing the same roles and also really hope to do doll in the first act.. I LOVE that little solo!) also i'm using the computer at work and cant download any pics. of myself.. unless i can figure out how to get the pics from a website at a school i used to teach out.. i'm not a tech-person.. hahah and pretty useless when it comes to downloading/uploading anything.. if you can explain it to me i'll try. Congrats on PBT - thats a GREAT company! ok back to work! ttyl.

??????????? Wtf.

Oy Vey!!!!!  My mom's 5'3" and weigh's 85lbs at 74 years of age.  She was anorexic at the age of 48 (I was 14 at the time) and weighed as little as 55lbs.  I understand that you're a dancer, and there is a lot of pressure to be light and slender, BUT, it really is true that your body NEEDS the nutrients and a certain number of calories just to maintain proper function!!!! It's not just about fat/weight, it's about your liver, heart, brain, kidneys working properly.

I saw the effects of a body not being fed properly.  My mom's hair fell out, she had open uclers on her legs (sorry to be so graphic but, I really am concerned).  She spent 4 months in a private hospital in order to gain weight back, while my Daddy begged on his knees for her to eat.  To this day, while at least she's managed to stay above 80lbs, she still deny's she had a problem, as if it didn't really happen. 

With all that in mind, please stay above at least 1200 calories a day!  And I have to tell you, as many on here will, if you eat too little, your body will resist even more letting go of those few pounds you want to lose because you've forced it into starvation mode.  With your rigorous dance schedule, providing more calories to your body will yield more healthy results than by starving it. 

Anyway, there's my .25 worth.  I wish you good health.

*ribbet*

I sort of feel ill thinking about how thin you want to be. Nothing else says sexy than skin and bones... but don't worry about your binge. Last weekend I went home and mom being mom, made me my favorite foods and the day before, I went drinking and ate two large slices of pizza, gelato, a cannoli, an eclair, and a huge dinner. I rounded out the weekend at 120 lbs. and during the week I went back to my normal calorie intake and went back down to 114. It's all water weight, your body might take some of it as fat but I doubt that it will be that hard to lose.

If you deprive yourself all the time, you're gonna end up binging like you did.  If you give yourself what you need so you aren't hungry, and maybe a chocolate kiss here & there for a treat, you include it in your 1200, you won't find the urge to binge as much.

JMHO

Come on girls, we have to be honest with ourselves about what we are eating vs. what is normal. I know this, because i am a recovering anorexic. I am 5'2" and currently 117 lbs, so at 114 lbs you would seem to be in very good health, HOWEVER, everyone is different. Each person has a resting weight that their body wants to be at, it might be 130 for me or it might be 110. You dont know until you start eating your normal calories and living your normal life without stressing about food so much. I was released 2 weeks ago from a 24 hour ED clinic...not a fun place to be! Now Im in outpatient and thats a struggle too. Its much easier to take baby steps on your own than to be forced up to 1500-2000 calories a day by a nurse every day.

Dont worry about losing weight. Worry about being healthy. :)

Hi everyone, I like the common sense replies but I know it's the last thing a young person (or unwell person) wants to hear.  I was that way in my teens, a long long time ago, so I understand.  I wish I had someone back then to tell me that all the obsessing is a waste of time and energy.  A wise woman I know told me something good to remember: no one cares what you look like because they're so worried about what they look like.  It doesn't matter if there's a little bit of fat or meat on you as long as you feel good and feel good about yourself.  That's infinitely harder to do though, than lose weight, I know.

I don't think this is a website where we support your eating disorder.

You need to seek help.