Every weekend I overinduge and blow my week's deficit...

Hi Everybody,

I started here in February at 143 with a goal of 136 (I'm 39, 5'9" w/small frame - I weighed 136 a year ago.) I managed to get down to 140 but then it was my birthday, I had a vacation and... I gained five solid pounds (not bloat or sodium) and am up to 145, yarg.

Anyhow, I got back on the wagon three weeks ago and easily reached a 500 cal/day deficit during the week but blew it by going 500 - 1500 cals over maintenance every Friday, Saturday and Sunday!

So I decided to try to reach a 3500 cal deficit during the week and try to eat at a Friday through Sunday. It's Friday and so far so good:  Monday was -1000, Tuesday -1200, Wednesday - 1000 and Thursday -400 (no gym day.) I am hoping I can be disciplined and eat at maintenance this weekend.

Here are my questions:

1. Is it not advisable for me to have a 1000 calorie deficit on a single day? I eat 1700 and burn 2700 (gym 800 + walk to work 200 +1700 maintenance.) I do not want my body to decide to slow my metabolism in response to an over sized deficit.

2. I have upped my cardio at the gym to burn more but in turn have had to shorten my weight training time. Is this a bad idea? I plan to go back to 30 - 45 minutes of weight training once I get down to 138 or so. I do not want to lose muscle, I like my guns !

3. How can I avoid binging on the weekends? I find that once I overindulge I just throw in the towel and pig out and hate myself... I have a severe all-or-nothing attitude problem. I probably should mention I was slightly bulimic from age 15 - 30 (I'm now 39 and never purge.)

Thank you!!!!!

I can totally relate to your "all-or-nothing" feelings!  I used to find myself eating one bad thing and then saying "Well you already did it might as well have something else!" and before I knew it I would have eaten away all of my earlier efforts.  The best thing I've found to do is to not think about it like you're on a diet.  Think about it like it's something you want to do for the rest of your life.  Don't cut out any specific foods for good.  When ever I would say to myself "That's it, no more sweets EVER!"  I would just want them more.  When you don't conciously cut out any specific foods but rather ask yourself "how many calories am I willing to waste on this food?"  You'll find yourself eating a lot less. 

Thanks Sakura!

I really like your "How many calories am I willing to waste on this food?" line. I have to think of my alotted daily calories as finite, like money in my wallet. These days I think of them as infinite -- once I fall off the wagon I start to binge like nothing matters anymore... it leads to such self loathing.

I also realize that I should be thinking of this as a lifestyle change, not a punishing temporary diet. I lost 35 pounds in 2002 by using the "lifestyle" mind set. I lost 3 pounds a month and kept it off for a few years.

I'm going through the same thing right now. I feel like I work my butt off all week long staying at 1200 calories, but then the weekend roles around and it means going out with friends, drinking, and the seemingly inevitable drunk food later in the night.

And while I am thinking about this as a lifestlye change rather than a diet, I just don't know how to make my 23 year old social life fit this change.... and my apparently slowing metabolism.

Urgh. It is completely frustrating and certainly causes self loathing. I don't like waking up on Sunday and -- while I may have had a wonderful time all weekend --- completely regreting my choices.

I agree with the other two posters.

As well, the 1000 calorie deficit on weekdays may be prompting binges. Maybe it's just me, but I find that whenever I'm extra good for a few days I always end up with a few corresponding really bad days... So you could try keeping up a lower deficit for the entire week, and see if that makes it any easier.

It is hard. On Friday and Saturday I am a little more relaxed with food. I still do my normal workout and normal breakfast and lunch but dinner on Friday is my treat night. I eat something out. I still skip mayo, butter and that kind of thing but I eat mostly what I want and I eat DESERT. I look forward to that desert all week. I love it. On Saturday I eat pizza for dinner or something I really like. I watch that too. I do half the cheese no meat but those 2 days I let myself go a little. I do increase my exercise on Saturday and Sunday to include 1 1/2 hours of walking at a fast pace on the treadmill. It really is a constant struggle.

I am absolutely in this boat. This weekend, I even tried REALLY hard and still failed. My weekend usually starts Thursday as that is when a lot of my friends go out, and I was given a FREE 3-course meal for my husband and I at The Keg this Thursday..... I easily ate 2,000 cals in one sitting. A huge disapointment. I wanted to cry as I went to bed but loved the meal as I was having it. Spinach dip, perfectly cooked steak, wine, flavoured coffee, and a HUGE brownie sundae to finish it off. 

Friday, I didn't even log because I was so dissapointed about Thursday. I went our for lunch that day too, but had salad.

Saturday I planned for success. Had a great healthy lunch, and supper was a lobster dinner but I passed on the butter, salads, and dessert. Just had the lobsters (2) which are super healthy. THEN went to a going away party. Polished off probably 1000 cals in pre-mixed mojhito and a ton of nacho chips. Again, ruined the n ight.

Today has been fine. Sticking to around 1000 cals and PROMISING myself to do better this week and next weekend, just so disapointed in myself.

How can we stop this cycle??????

Thank you guys so much for your replies. I'm glad to know I'm not alone in this problem, but it is really ruining my weight loss efforts and making me feel like a fat failure.

I tried having a smaller deficit during the week, like 500 cal/day, but I still binged on the weekends. I am now increasing my weekday deficit to 1000 through extra exercise.

I blew it again this weekend and feel like a moron. I was good Friday night and Saturday day, but Saturday night we went out for an early dinner with a couple bottles of wine and it was the beginning of the end... On Sunday I was hungover and didn't go to the gym and ate badly and just realized I packed away 3,400 calories! This nearly entirely wipes out my entire deficit achieved last week.

I really need help. Any ideas on how to break this cycle? I'm getting depressed and disgusted with myself.

Sigh.

I am with you guys 100% - I stay within my strict calorie limits during the week (usually pretty easily - you can pack a fair bit of food in if you go for low-calorie items) but come the weekend I go crazy.

But there is a glimmer of hope - I followed a strict 1200 calorie per day diet for about 9 months four years ago, but let myself eat whatever I wanted on the weekend, and I managed to lose about 40 lbs and keep it off for about a year and half!  I think the trick (or tricks) were (1) set your weekday limit quite low - I went for 1200 calories per day, and I'm 5'9" (2) exercise  and (3) don't go TOO TOO crazy on the weekends - don't count calories, drinking is fine, just maybe eat 3 slices of dominos pizza on Friday night, not 6!

Unfortunately I now fall firmly into the 6 slices-of-Pizza-on-Friday-Night camp (plus a BIG plate of nachos on Sunday!), and plus I also have tons of trouble with weekday socializing, so I am really struggling...