Weight Gain In My 13 Year Old

I am looking for some advice. My 13 year old daughter is 5'3" and weighs about 120 lbs. She is by no means overweight. But I have noticed in the last 6 months or so that she has developed a stomach pooch and muffin top. I have noticed that many young teen girls are thin but have this problem area. Why is this? I'm not sure what is causing this. She has had her period for a while so the hormone levels should be pretty level. I try to minimize the junk food in the house and have about 90% healthy foods. She plays basketball and they practice alot so she is active with that on most days of the week. Her father and I try to set a good example. We eat healthy most of the time, whole grain, lean meat, fruits, vegetables. I run and weight train. Do you think I should get her into weight training? Is she too young? I tried to get her interested in running but she hates it. She only does what she has to to keep in condition for basketball. Her grandmother noticed the pooch also and made a comment to her. I don't want her to restrict calories to trim this down. Do I go so far as to ban all junk food in the house? 

Stop obsessing and leave her the heck alone!

She's too young.

She's still growing. I always used to put on weight before growing taller. I've also always had a bit of a "pooch" in the tummy area.

Like you said, she eats well, she's active most days and is at a healthy weight. There should be no concern here. If you talk to her about it, she may become self-conscious when she wasn't before. Being 13 is tough enough without having to worry about Mom thinking you need to lift weights because of some filling out in the midsection.

I think it's best to let this one go.

maybe you just need to buy her some trousers (pants) in a  bigger size that fit well.  she must be growing quickly and may just be wearing the wrong size.

and as the above poster says, she is a growing girl, and making an issue now may wreak havoc in the long run.

also- her statistics put her bmi in the  normal range. I think you may need to take a step back and let her be. if she thinks her parents thinks she is fat, you may do untold damage in the long run.

shelly X

I agree with Monkfish, my first thought was she needs bigger pants!

I would NOT mention or even hint at weight loss to her. If she is already interested in weight lifting you could offer to let her train with you, or if you think it might be something she would like you could just ask if she wants to train with you to spend some more time together, without making it seem like you're worried about her weight. Weight lifting is safe for kids as long as they use proper form, are safe, and don't try to use too much weight for their abilities.  

PUBERTY

Puberty doesnt just stop with getting your period. He rhips will be widening, she will be getting taller, she will be developing a womans body. 

Please leave her alone, she is a 13 year old girl and she will prob develop her own food/weight concerns as she grows older. Let her be a kid for as long as possible. If she gets a bit of a belly, who cares, shes a kid. 

I remember when i was 13, i was constantly woried about my weight and size, it wa no fun at all, i should have been thinking about having fun with my friends and doing normal kid things instead of worrying about everything i put into my mouth and gaining weight.

Original Post by lcrum:

Her grandmother noticed the pooch also and made a comment to her. I don't want her to restrict calories to trim this down. Do I go so far as to ban all junk food in the house? 

I think it's pretty mean of her grandmother to make that kind of comment to a thirteen year old girl!

Banning junk food is only going to make junk food more appealing and lead her to eat it in secret or when she's out with her friends. Don't make any foods forbidden; it sets up unhealthy eating patterns that can last a lifetime.

To be honest, I really don't see why this is an issue. She's young, she's healthy, she eats good food, she's active. Why on earth do you care about this? Appreciate your daughter for who she is.

What is your daughter eating at school?  When I was in school, there was nothing fit for consumption except the french fries on the meal-ticket menu.  The ala-cart healthy stuff was only for those with cash.  There were also the pop and candy machines with a huge long line too.

Don't drop in on your daughter's lunch to see (the horror for a 13 year old).  You could talk to the principal or public relations department about getting the junk food machines removed (big money maker for the districts though) and ask to have salads and fruit/veggies/plain meat offered. 

If your daughter doesn't see her new shape as a problem, not much can be done.   You can show concern in a constructive way but beware that some of the kids will turn the other direction and go towards an eating disorder.    

Are you a little over critical about your own appearance?  How tall are you and the dad?  She might just grow into it.  No offense.

Get in some mother/daughter time walking, biking or hiking.  Lifting weights lightly will also improve things.  I know they really don't like being seen with parents at that age sometimes but maybe you can be a friend.  An enjoyment of exercise and the outdoors will last a lifetime.

Also know that you must be the adult and put your foot down on some of the outfits kids want to wear sometimes.  I know that some of the schools have put an end to the fashion show and required uniforms.       

Guys, the poster isn't calling her daughter overweight. She's probably just concerned that the extra weight could turn into something more serious. Childhood obesity is a huge epidemic (at least in America), and I would be concerned about keeping my child healthy and fit as well. 

lcrum: I really think your daughter is fine if she's active with basketball and eats healthy. Some people just have more fat than others. If you think she has too much fat (it's hard for me to tell by your post if she has like a big stomach or just a little extra flab), then go to the doctor and get her BF% tested. 

Also, check out this article on love handles, or "muffin tops"

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/7723918.stm

Use the hip-to waist ratio to determine if you should really be concerned about your daughter or not. It is possible to be at a healthy weight but have a waist of over 35 inches, but I doubt a 13 year old has this. But if it would ease your mind to check it, then go to this website!

I think this is difficult as she could be due for a growth spurt and it may just be her body storing for that.

It could be that she is sneaking junk food away from home.

It could just be that that is where she going to carry her weight as an adult.

She isn't overweight though and she is way too young and to light for you to be putting weight issues on her shoulders or make her at all insecure about her shape which the kids at school will do anyway.

I would suggest you ask the grandmother not to say anything as it can be very damaging at that age even if said from a place of love.

I would personally leave it and not say or do anything unless the weight continues to creep on to the point that she is getting heavy and then you need to talk to her to find out what is happening in her life that you don't know about.

I don't you should be overly concerned.  I remember gaining a whole bunch of weight(like 30 lbs) over just one summer in middle school.  I didn't really thin out for 2-3 years after that.

Thanks everyone for your input. jcl76 summed up my feelings exactly. I am not concerned that she is overweight at all right now. But everyone knows how it starts with a few pounds here and there and before you know it you are overweight. And if anyone thinks I am obsessed with this you couldn't be further from the truth. Her dad mentioned it to me first and my daughter herself noticed it before anyone said anything to her. I agree her grandmother should not have said anything. I would not have said anything to her myself. I was just thinking that the weight training will add muscle to her. She will probably get even bigger in size but lose some of the fat. We have a great relationship and do alot together. I agree that school lunches are not always the healthiest but there are no pop or junk machines in the school.

Part of my post was an observation also. I have noticed this trend in alot of girls from the ages of 25 under. Is it just because the pants are cut so low that the lower stomach is not held in? The girls are all healthy weight wise but they have this area of fat that is prominent. I was just wondering if it is our diets, the hormones and additives in food or the clothing styles that causes this? No offense is meant to anyone because I am working on this area myself.

I'm in my mid- to late-20s. I have some younger girl friends that wear jeans that are super tight in the thighs which means they're super tight at the hips/waist. This makes them have a muffin top even though they're tiny. I have to buy my pants/jeans a size up to have them fit my waist which means they're a little baggy in the butt and thighs. I'd rather have them a little big than have a muffin top.

I definitely think the lower cut jeans that are in now are part of the problem. If jeans were even just a bit higher-rise then it would be a non-issue.

I don't think anyone has an issue with you being concerned about your daughter's health. However, it's the fact that she is only 13 years old, active and a healthy weight. Even though childhood obesity is an epidemic now, she's not in that category. I understand that you don't want her to reach that point and want to stop it before it happens but bringing it up with her could set her up with some unhealthy body image issues down the road. Maybe you should speak to her doctor without her present the next time she has a checkup. They could probably offer some great advice.

Original Post by lcrum:

Part of my post was an observation also. I have noticed this trend in alot of girls from the ages of 25 under. Is it just because the pants are cut so low that the lower stomach is not held in? The girls are all healthy weight wise but they have this area of fat that is prominent. I was just wondering if it is our diets, the hormones and additives in food or the clothing styles that causes this? No offense is meant to anyone because I am working on this area myself.

I'm 20 years old, and if I wear jeans that are too tight I will have a slight muffin top. But I am not fat at all. It's just pinched skin. Now when I wear a pair of jeans that are my size, I don't have that. When I'm in a bikini, I don't have muffin top either. It's just from wearing clothes that are a size too small. 

The low cut pants DEFINITELY have an effect! I try to wear mid rise instead of low rise just for that reason. If my pants are too low I have terrible terrible muffin top, but if they are cut just an inch higher, BAM. No muffin top.

Your daughter probably wouldn't gain much visible size from lifting weights, but it would help raise her metabolism, help her with sports, help self esteem and self confidence, strengthen her bones, all kinds of awesome stuff :]  Do you follow any certain lifting program like New Rules for Women? Just curious if you do heavy lifting or are a pink dumbbell follower :]

I went to bodybuilding.com and picked out different exercises for each body part. I go back periodically to find different ones to change it up. No pink dumbells for me. Weight plates on the barbell or dumbells and a bench. We used to have a weight machine but we like the free weights better.

Talking about pants, it is so hard to find ones that aren't low rise.

Take your daughter shopping, why you ask? Well maybe you should have some girly time and try on clothes and talk to her and ask her how she feels  (in a slick kind of way) and gauge whether or not she has any body image issues. If she says she noticed she has gained a little weight or would like to be more healthy then offer some good info (after reassuring her she's perfect and all the cutesy stuff moms do) But if she doesn't say anything and appears to be happy with her body then don't say anything. You know she is healthy and active so there is no problem other than what you and grandma noticed, and you don't want to giv e 13 y/o any more to stress about being 13 is hard enough.

By the way, those ultra low rise jeans in the wrong size can give anyone a muffin top (eek!)

I think if you have a muffin top in pants, then that means you bought the wrong size. You really need to shop around and find a brand that fits your particular body type. I'm willing to dish out more money on jeans simply because I wear them everyday and it's tough for me to find the perfect fit. 

try going to stores like american eagle or aeropostale. I find that their pants are decent and dont go too low. Also most pants say if their low rise or not. Be careful with skinny jeans too they tend to sit low on the hips.

Original Post by ncurlee:

Stop obsessing and leave her the heck alone!

 THANK YOU

And I repeat once again, I am NOT obsessing about this. I just merely asked for some advice. Do not jump to conclusions when you do not know me or what kind of parent I am. There is no leaving her alone to do because I have not said anything to her about it in the first place. My daughter and I have open communication and a great relationship. I can talk to her about anything, even something like this. In my opinion I would be a bad parent if I showed no concern at all. Even though it does not apply to her, childhood obesity is a major issue these days that we as parents need to monitor.