LOCKED TOPIC

Weight Gainers: What did YOU eat today?

I am copying the many times copied thread, "What did you eat today?" in hopes of helping some of those who are just starting to gain and have no clue what to eat. I know that when I began weight recovery, I was eating tons of low-cal foods just because that's what I was used to. I learned the hard way that dense foods are essential to weight gain when you have high caloric requirements (at one point I needed 4500 cal to maintain my weight on BEDREST). Perhaps newbies can get some ideas if we post our weight gain meal plans! Even if you're not gaining anymore, grab an old one and post it!:]
Please note that every body is different and some will need more or less calories than others to gain. This thread is just so that you can get an idea of what you need.
Oh, and yes, I'm breaking the "no calories, no portions" rule, since it is pretty helpful in this case. If you want to post cals/portions you can. I just ask that you don't post if you're not eating enough, though as this is a weight gain thread, I would hope none of you are undereating.;]
I'll start....
Breakfast (875 cal)*

• 1/2 cup oatmeal (150) cooked with
• 1 cup evaporated whole milk (300)
• 1 mashed banana (100)
• 2 tbsp peanut butter (200)
• 1 tbsp ground flaxseed and cinnamon to taste (50) 
• 1 hard-boiled egg (75 cal)

Morning Snack (300 cal)*

• 1/4 cup mixed nuts (200)
• 1/4 cup dried apricots (100)

Lunch (660 cal)*

• 1/4 cup rice cooked in 1 cup chicken stock (300) and
• 1/2 cup canned or cooked chickpeas (145) and
• 1/3 cup shredded cheese (150) and
• 1/4 cup each onion, peppers, and tomato (30) cooked with
• 1 tbsp olive oil and curry powder to taste (120)

Afternoon snack (390 cal)*

• 1 serving baby carrots (35)
• 1/4 cup hummus (155)
• 1/4 cup mixed nuts (200)

Dinner (875 cal)*

• 1 cup of my insane Mac & Cheese recipe (515)
• 2 cups tossed salad (45)
• 2 tbsp rasins (60)
• 2 tbsp sunflower seeds (105)
• 2 tbsp dressing (150)

Evening snack (480)*

• 1 cup plain whole milk yogurt (180)
• 1/2 cup homemade granola (300)

About 3600 calories :]

*laughs nervously at Lala and edges towards crumble*

Wait, it's eight o' clock in the morning! haha.

I'm actually really worried - as you all know I've been ill with 'flu that's played havoc with my stomach but last night my mum was up all night with chronic vomiting. So today (since my dad works saturdays) I'm going to look after her, which I don't mind AT ALL - Christ she looks after me enough! But I'm slightly concerned that if she has a gastric bug I'll get it and (in my Dad's words) 'at your weight, it'll put you in hospital. No questions asked.'

So today looks kind of uncertain. I HATE HATE HATE it when my mum or a member of my family is ill. It makes me feel sick with worry, even though I know they've just got a bug or something.. Like I feel absolutely terrified for them. I hate seeing people I love suffer.

I want to go and give my Mum a hug now.. Screw getting the bug, hopefully my immune system is strong enough (I haven't had a gastric bug in over 4 years)

Tata for now, xxxx

Wow, last night my mum said to me "Maria I dont think youve gained weight, do you?" and it put stuff in perspective. So I had a whole bagel with nutella, pb and jam for my night snack + a heap of dark chocolate, and some cantaloupe. Yep, I managed it all and it didnt feel like a binge or anything =)

Mashed: Yeah I think you're right about me and you, Im better at just going for it and trying ff, but I cant keep my intake consistant and i tend to restrict stupidly too much. But yeah, you need to be more spontaneous with your meals! Go out into town one day and walk into whatever food place takes your fancy and buy some chocolate or something. It feels so great! I hope you feel better with your illness=/ I had a sore stomach the other day ugh. EAT THE CRUMBLE ^^ And I totally relate to the triggeringness of other people talking about starving themselves, there's a couple of girls at my school who are exactly like that. One of htem was like "i need to lose a few pounds" and this other one actually went "you should probably just try bein anorexic for a few days, it might work," i mean WTF?!
Your halloumi salad sounds yummy tbh, would be really scary to eat but I love halloumi cheese :]

Okie - Dont worry, dont think of it as a binge, think of it as you just challenging your ED. And chocolate is ACE, just far too addictive lol :'] I eat it way too much tbh.

Clay - But I like pickle :[ I want peaches now! And I had a bagel last night before I went to bed which was pretty scary but also pretty yummy! I'm gonna eat SO much today and not care! Im sorry to hear about your water retaining :/

Lady - Yeah Im trying to stop, im sure its not really that bad but its just such a messed up EDish thing to do :/ And I hate when people dont get up for breakfast too lol :P Its awesome your mum wants to thank us :) My mum doesnt really know I go on this, but I told her I go on weight gaining websites for "tips" lol.

Charlie - I like lots of different music tbh. I used to be a bit of a goth :P Now I'm into almost anything; rock, punk, reggae, dance, electronic, even a bit of folky acoustic stuff.

Ah well, it's absolutely freezing outside today and I'm spending the day in town. I'm gonna DIE lol. I'll just keep snacking to keep me going throughout the day, and im staying at my dad's tonight and he always has stuff to snack on. So it's a snacky day rather than a meal day today. Therefore there ain't much point in posting a food plan :P

Imma gonna go out to take the dog a quick walk round the block to see how cold it is. Gloves, scarf and hat will be necessary :P

Im so glad everyones happy and posty today ^_____^
*Hugs all!*
You keep me so motivated!
xXx

Wooooooo! Last night I dinner, I was planning on just eating one small portion of all the leftovers. But there was a lot left, everyone else in my family was eating a lot, and I was hungry (for once!) so I figured that I would just eat as much as I wanted. So I probably had three servings of sweet potato casserole, mashed potatoes, arabian squash casserole, cranberry sauce, a croissant and pumpkin pie. And do I regret it? Nope. Today I'm going to do some christmas shopping for family/ friends, hopefully I can catch some good sales.

lady- Tofu!! Yes. Make a stir fry! Soba noodles, tofu, snow peas, water chesnuts, mushrooms, carrots, and hot chili sauce. And I did you just dump stuff together for the zucchini loaf? I wish I could do that. But for baked goods, I have to follow the recipe exactly or something goes wrong.

mashed- I'm glad that you had a high-cal dinner even though that you knew the crumble was supposed to be coming later. I have confidence that you will eat the crumble!! But you know what's good? Butter and sugar. Sampled some during Thanksgiving cooking. Hope you aren't getting sick.

gibbit- I'll message you the recipe for the casserole.

panda- I'm sorry your family is so unsupportive. But a lot of people think that as soon as you start gaining weight, your ED is gone, which is so far from the truth. Have you considered going to a therapist? I think it would really help you.

clay- Nooooooooo keep eating your big night time snack. IT has absoulutely no effect on your metabolism to eat more at night than you do during the day.

dolly- Good job with the bagel!! When is the last time you weighed? I think you should get your mom to soon so you can make sure you haven't lost anything, with hypermetabolism now.

alrighty well im here for a brief update

we got report cards yesterday, i did okay i suppose, my average was 90% (the highest possible being 95%) so i guess im okay with it...

after a few nights of obscene overeating (not saying binge) like eating an entire bag of goLean crunch and then having even MORE food after i've been trying to find more balance in how I eat.. here's how it went yesterday

b- about 1/3 bag golean crunch, 300g yogurt, 300kcal meal replacement bar

s- pomegranate

l- tomato soup made with wholemilk-2% mix instead of water, and I mixed in some vegetable antipasto and pasta. --> also an orange, a couple crackers, and 1/2 a massive (like 10'')? banana 

s- about 1/2 a bag of golean crunch, 100g yogurt,

d- subway veggie delite sub w/ extra cheese and 3 veggie patties

s- ice cream, about two cups of mango, an apple

and i think thats alright. i'm just trying my best here and i've seen many of you have imrpoved a ton. especially aqua and clay i'm so glad you managed to enjoy thanksgiving! i don't celebrate it, but there sure are a lot of things i'm thankful for, and i wish all of you the best of luck here. I'm still recovering and as much as ihate it i suppose i need to gain more weight, so i hope my metabolism rocvers soon so i can actually be hungry and not feel like im binging all the time..

Ladydanger, Nice to meet you :] It's been a long time since I've been in this forum, so I'm sure there's plenty of people I haven't met yet. As I was reading your other posts here, You make me LOL a lot. You seem super cool :] Anyway thanks for your insight. I do feel better than I did last night. And I think I will be the author of that book. 'Tact for Dummies: What NOT To Say To a Recovering Anorexic'

mashed_t, I hope your mum gets better!

aquaev, That's true that people think ED's are jus so easily resolved. And I think my family doesn't realize how serious my problem is. Every time I try explaining what's going on with me to my mom, she doesn't want to listen because... I don't know. Maybe she thinks I'm exaggerating? I agree that I should get a therapist, but my mom has enough financial problems as it is and she won't pay for it. And like I said, she thinks I don't need one. And since I'm not 18 years old yet, there's not much I can really do about that.

Well I hope everyone's day is going well! I'll be back later to post what I ate.

Thanks Perfectpanda :) She seems a little better now - she's not throwing up any more, thank goodness.

Totally get about the tact thing. My Dad comes out with the most amazingly unhelpful things, 'can't you just eat a pie?' being one of the most frequent, though I've learned to laugh at most of them.. Do you think maybe part of the reason your Mum doesn't want to listen about your problems is because she's scared of hearing something that's too 'big' for her to be able to fix?

Today's been weird, I've kind of been on my own most of the time, cos my Mum's been in bed and my brother is generally anti-social.

I had a lovely lunch though - baked some tofu and had it on a toasted sandwich with mustard, tomato and spinach. Mmmm.. So good. And I had normal hovis bread, which I'm a bit funny about sometimes (I usually prefer 'thin' bread like lavash or tortilla for some reason.)

The crumble has gone! I think my Mum's friend must have taken it when she left this morning - I went to the shops and came back and she (and it) were gone.. V. upset. To compensate, I made some lemon muffins - MUFFINS, people! And I didn't use a diet, calorie counted recipe, I made proper actual muffins with sugar and flour and milk etc. I'm about to have one for my afternoon snack - wish me luck! I haven't had muffins since IP.. another 'bad memory' food but you know what? Screw it. I'll make new memories :)

Dolly - I think it really helps to make a meal plan, and do the impulsive things 'on top' of it, if you see what I mean. Pickle is super yummy, but even better with cheese! I think you should try my tofu sandwich recipe, tis  delicious! Want me to post it? I think if you're gonna have fruit (like plums) for snacks then you need to have them with something substantial like some toast or oatmeal or yoghurt and granola with the plums chopped on top.. Otherwise ED tricks you into thinking 'well I've had a snack!' even though it was probably about 40 calories max.

Nervous about this stupid muffin! Though I've made myself promise to eat one, because otherwise it's going back to the days of cooking a load of stuff that I never actually eat, and we all know that's ED behaviour!

Anyway, going to go and check on my mum and see if she needs anything,

Ciao for now, xxxxx

Hey all,

Haven't posted in the last week because I went home last weekend and then Uni has been so crazy busy that I haven't had any time but rest assured I have religiously read thru all your posts and it really seems like we're all turning a big corner and really starting to fight ED again after a little shaky period that we had and a lot of people seeming to step back from the thread (speaking of which, I miss Theo and Spek! Lol!)

Today my head turned a corner - and I'm sorry if this is a bit off topic but I just really wanted to write it down somewhere. I think that since I started taking my medication for my depression, I'm now mentally strong enough to fight this demon out of my head in the way that I've wanted to for so long. I'm starting to feel like me again. And there is no place for ED in the real me. I'm starting to have the energy and the motivation to go out and see people and do things and it feels fantastic not to be sat on my own in my room working out how many grams of celery I can eat or some other stupid thing like that. I feel like I'm ready to live life again and beat this, well I've felt like that for a long time, but now I finally feel strong enough mentally to be able to put all this talk into action. I'm still waiting for a referral to an ED specialist which is scary, but I think it's the right thing to do. So yeah...thanks for just letting me get that out, it just felt so good to wake up this morning with a smile on my face, having spent last night with friends doing normal teenage things and actually genuinely laughing for the first time in ages.

So after that very self-centred post...:

Mashed: Gutted about the crumble :( I literally love that dessert...mmmm custard! Definitely go for the muffins they sound absolutely gorgeous. And well done for getting that Oxford interview - don't worry about it, just go and try to enjoy it. That might sound weird but it's what I did and it worked pretty well!

Everyone generally: Well done for all the awesome ED kicking you guys did on Thanksgiving. I'm definitely gonna be looking to do similar damage to him when I have my birthday and Christmas next month. I want birthday cake this year, damn it, and ED isn't going to tell me otherwise!

Lady: That quote of your mum's is super sweet. I sent my mum a message today, and she is starting to see my spark again too. And so am I. And I love that!

Love to you all, you really are an incredible bunch of people!

Aqua: not weighed in quite a few weeks, Im staying at my dads' tonigt and he has scales so i may weigh-in in the morning, just out of curiosity, but Im not gonna get stressed over the results. My mum wants me to get weighed at the doctors but I really dont want that :/ i hope im in hypermetab :] does that mean i eat LOADS and burn it all superfast? :) i might just have to up to 3000ish then LOL ACE=]

Slr: you're just awesome tbh =] such an inspiration :)

Perfectpanda : hi, dont think weve met:)

Mashed; yeh, spose your right, the only problem is I never have time to make all that stuff up, let alone have time to eat it at school, our breaks and stuffare so short, i wouldnt have a chance to eat it :( especialy as i have to eat my snacks outside on the go as it is already. But i would appreciate your tofu sandwich recipe, i could use it for weekends i spose =] dont be nervous about the muffin! I conquered muffins, you can do it too hun! :)

Raspberry: yay for all the positivity!
xxxxxxx

Foodies today-->

breakfast
All bran
Skim milk
Banana
Grapefruit juice

snack
Apple pie larabar

lunch
Tofu sandwich with spinach, mustard and tomato
Steamed broccoli with garlic and lemon
Pear

snack
Homemade lemon muffin!

Planned:

supper
Tofu scramble (Can you tell I have tofu to use up? hehe) made with pepper, spinach, onion
Slice of wholemeal toast
Steamed broccoli and carrots

snack
Porridge with brown sugar
Banana (melted into porridge.. mmmm...)

Tofu sandwich recipe-->
Buy a block of tofu (I used Cauldron 'beech smoked' which you can get in Sainsburys or Waitrose)
Cut into slices about 1/2" thick
Brush with a little EV Olive Oil and stick under the grill for ten/fifteen minutes (turn it so that it doesn't burn on one side)

For the sandwich-->
Toast 2 slices of bread, spread with a little dijon mustard
Top with raw spinach, slices of tomato, some season (garlic flakes, pepper, whatever)
Once the tofu is done, shove a few slices on top of the spinach and tomato then close the sandwich.
Eat :)

You can store the rest of the tofu slices in a tupperware in the fridge and take them out over the week to use either in sandwiches or stir fries.

Dolly --> EAT NATURAL BARS!!!!!!! These are *lifesavers!* You can get them from holland and barratts or sometimes the health food or cereal bar aisle in supermarkets. Seriously, super healthy and about 200kcal each - perfect for morning snack and they're not too big so they can be eaten quickly :) Dude, whatever your weight, from what you post I don't think you're near 2500 yet :( Keep upping though, you'll get there.. Remember what your mum said last night!

My mum is still in bed :( I'm getting a bit worried - she's v. rarely ill but when she is it's usually quite severe. She looks really pale and I dunno.. I just pray she's feeling better tomorrow.

Right I'm going to do some history homework now.. I'm freaking out about interview - it's the week after next. I have to go up there on my own for three days. I've never been on my own with no one I know since I got ill. I know that's pathetic from an 18 year old but I'm so scared of stupid stuff like not knowing where to go, as well as the whole food thing.. and the bloody interview itself, of course! The way I feel at the moment, I don't know why I'm even bothering - every time I try and think I just seem to have a big brain fart and all I can concentrate on is food and calories.

I suck.

Before a real reply is due (check the support recipes for the zucchini & walnut loaf recipe!! )

Please say everyone just summarises what they eat, because i feel like a stuffed powerpuff and i feel like i eat 10 times more than any of you!! It's only just come to realization that i MAY not know how to count calories at all.. I THINK I'VE BEEN DOING IT WRONG THIS WHOLE TIME.

Dag Nammit.

x

Mashed- I really hope you're doing okay. I know how it feels to see a loved one, ESPECIALLY a mother ill. This is the same person who gave birth to you and NEVER meant to get sick, that's just not apples. And it puts question on everything else.. because this woman is meant to be unbreakable... and still she'll put herself last to make sure you're okay. So i send all my shibbies and shakes to you and yours honey x

hey ladydanger, i get what you're feeling. i think i eat 10 times more than anyone else, but the thing is, they're not trying to gain weight. actually, i don't have an ED and i feel like i eat so much more than some of the ED recoverers here (i'm not pointing fingers, i'm just sayin'...).

there's no way to know how many calories you're eating unless you also post the portions though, so i can't really judge. just don't worry and keep eating. i think maybe you should cut down on vegetables and low calorie, high bulk foods for now so that you don't feel as stuffed. admittedly, this doesn't work for me - i get hungry no matter how much i eat. it's like my body knows EXACTLY how many calories i'm eating, regardless the bulk of the food, haha.

to help you out, here's what i ate today (i'm probably not the best example to follow since i eat quite frequently and end up eating more snacks than i do meals):

breakfast: toast with cream cheese and honey; about 1 1/2 oz of smoked almonds

snack: (this was like 1/2 hr after a late breakfast) chocolate

lunch: english muffin, half with PB, half with swiss cheese; cup of cheerios

snack: a munchkin donut (random - they had free donuts and coffee at the music/movie store i was at); poptart with glass of milk

snack (yes, again): PB and honey on toast; odwalla food bar

dinner (planned): pita stuffed with egg, hummus, and green beans; apple

snack (planned):cottage cheese with half a banana and graham cracker; possibly some pita chips and hummus if i'm still hungry (which if i'm not, i probably will be)

this is around 2500 calories and i didn't go running today.

honestly, the amount of food i eat is worrisome to me. i mean, i don't mind eating this much, but i feel like it's abnormal. why doesn't anyone else eat this much? i'd starve if i ate any less...do you guys think i just have a fast metabolism? because i don't really know what my metabolism was like before i started xc running in high school. i always thought i had a normal one, but i get hungry so easily. sometimes i think i''m not actually hungry and i just feel like eating...i wouldn't call it binging or overeating, exactly, although i might eat a whole bunch of cereal in one sitting - i know what i'm doing and i don't feel guilty...just concerned about my metabolism, etc.

i don't know. i'll try not to worry until after i gain my last 4 pounds. woot woot!

by the way, i don't seem to have gained anything after eating a massive thanksgiving dinner and upping my calories by 100-200. how long does it take to see the weight gain o_O?

cheers lady.. she's thrown up again and even though the likelihood is that she just has a bug, I get really funny when she's unwell.. Makes me realise how awful she must feel when I'm unwell (which has been four about four years now..I guess she's due a down time!!)

Honestly, if I photographed all my food you wouldn't worry! My portions are v. v. big (eg. all bran - means about 70g of the stuff, not the 40g portion they reccomend on the box!!) I know there are some people who post here who are on 3000+ but they don't neccessarily post day by day food logs. (Is it me, or does that sound super funny? God I am actually a five year old. Mwahaha..)

But yeah. Don't worry. It's natural to feel like that - I do all the time. But what we don't realise is that while we scrupulously pretty much everything that passes our lips, most people eat subconciously - a handful of crisps here, some haribo there, a nibble out of the fridge.. and they don't even realise it.

Gaining is tough. I've just finished my food for the day and I honestly feel *stuffed* to the brim.

Blargh.

DARK-how many times are you going to post the same thing, its been weeks of you saying you havent gained, i dont have an ED but im not gaining, i dont get it...

OBVIOSULY you need to eat more, not 100 cals more but ifi ts been weeks w no gain then like 500 more, consistantly.  PLUS, youre only eating 2500-the MINIMUM to gain on and if youre RUNNING, please, im surprised youre not losing weight, you need to make up for that AND MORE.  3000 at least, seriosuly, weeks w/ no gain, increase.

after 1 thanksgiving meal you shouldnt weigh yourself, 1 meal doesnt make or break a weight, you weigh 1/wk, thats it.

AGRU: yeah, i know...i guess i'm still grappling with how i'm able to eat as much as i'm eating and not gain because it doesn't make sense to me. sorry about being repetitive - it just helps me put my thoughts out and see where i'm going and what i should do.

thanks for the push though. it may be silly, but i suppose i needed clarification and someone to tell me what i should do - i'm no nutrition expert and that's a fact.

also, i've been weighing myself once a week and not just after that one meal. nonetheless, thanks for the reminder.

a question for you though: how is everything going for you? are you still managing 3000 calories? you've been so helpful here and i appreciate the advice you give. i hope all is well with life, etc!

Taa guys. Honestly i love eating.
I know it's ED but i love food, always have. I just hate that i stress so much about what i'm eating that i forget to enjoy it. Which is why i eat slowly, makes it last longer. I know i drink too much water, and i never drank juice/milk before ED but now.. i fricken LOVE juice. Boost/Nudie juices are just the bees knees.

But thanks for putting my mind at ease, i think it's just coz i don't know where everyone is in recovery, nor do i want to/need to know. I forget to take that into consideration.

So perhaps i shall shussh up!!

I can't snackbetween snacks, that'd be a barrel to jump actually! THanks for the idea. "Mum can you check if this is ready.. it's not my mealtime yet!"
I laugh it off, but it would drive me insane.

Right, hurdle 1 to cross for the day.

(i also collect recipe magazines... f. u ed.)

Who has good pancake recipes!!! I want 'em for din dins.
x

mashed: You're not pathetic. I'd think something was wrong with you if you weren't scared in regards to the interview and staying alone. I think you'll be pleasantly surprised though, it is exciting and liberating to be alone for the first time (especially if you truly are alone, no Ed!) Congrats with the muffins!

dolly: I don't know how you do it. I live in freaking California and I'm freezing. Hope all goes well at your dad's.

slr: I'd say a 90% is better than okay! It's good to hear from you.

aqua: Yay for no regrets! Hope the shopping expedition was successful.

Wish I had something new to report but my life is sort of ho-hum right now, which is infinitely better than before but still dull and doesn't make for good copy. The food has been a little easier lately. It really is true that negative breeds negative and positive, positive. I mean, when I'm doing poorly, it is difficult to get "unstuck." Fortunately, when I'm doing well it keeps getting easier so, guess the trick is to stay out of the gutter!

hey hey! I'll try to make this a quickie because i'm at my parents and we've been prepping for a big party were throwing for my dad's 50th birthday. I have a few friends coming, my brothers in town, and he's invitd another 50 or so people. We have TONS of food! Ordered 8 dozen empanadas from this Argentine place, none of which I can eat but that's ok because there are a lot of other options, lots of chips, which i'm determined to eat! i made baba ganoush, and hummus with lots of evoo. And I baked this incredible key lime cheesecake for my dad and decorated it with lime swirls and grated lime rind. It's super pretty, i've been working on perfecting my cake decorating skills for a while. Too bad I cant have that either considering its dairy with more dairy :\ ah well, it's my dad's favorite thing. I've actually had a stomach ache all day, not sure why but i'm eating through it, lots really, and lots of snacking since we'v been busy, even had pasta for lunch! which i'm really afraid of carbs at lunchtime for some reason even though it's A OK for dinner. Oh and we've also bought a bunch of stuff to make fancy drinks with like pomegranate martinis and chocolate peppermint and I will drink those too!

charlie- how are you?? is cali cold? seems like we had a cold front come in today here but its not too bad, i'm kind of excited for cooler weather and pretty scarves and the cold doesnt bug me anymore, so that's good motivation for you to keep gaining!

lady- tell your mom hi and that we think she has an incredible daughter! I'm the same way, i hardly ever drank juice but now it's all i drink, same with nuts, i used to hate nuts, started eating them just for the sake of calories, and now i'm addicted. And don't worry, you're definitely not eating more than others here! I don't really post foods anymore because I've forced myself to get away from a set meal plan and be more easy going so I don't keep track much other than tallying it up at the end of the day and I no longer feel like I need to post to hold myself accountable for eating enough. I've always been obsessive too, but still undiagnosed because i avoid doctors at all costs.

dark- if you'r enot gaining you need to increase! whether you have an ed or not, in fact if you don't have issues with eating it should be a lot easier for you to just addstuff in and not deal with all these stupid mind games we play. And 2500 may be more htan others around you but for a xc runner it's def not a large number and you prob need more. i'm mostly sedentary and need over 3000 to gain, i've needed 4000 in the past and have been maintaining for a few weeks now on 3000 so i might need to up it too.

mashed- aww i'm sorry about your mum! you're so sweet to worry, i know she's glad you're taking care of her, but be careful not to get sick yourself! wash your hands a lot, and drink a lot of OJ. stomach bugs suck but she'll be ok. Enjoy your muffin! I've been tackling baked goods a lot lately too, they're everywhere now that the holidays are coming up!

dolly- how would a tofu sandwich be any more difficult to eat than a pickle one? just make higher cal things in the morning, the tofu one sounds really good! and add cheese! And don't wait to find out you've lost weight, up to 3000 asap!

slr- youre doing great! don't worry about your eating, and congrats on making the grade!

thanks aqua! that sounds so good, and grea job eating what you felt like!

clay- i've been staying out later meaning my night snacking as been at like 1 am! no worries, i've been eating massive night snacks (yes, they do sound just like yours!) for almost a year now, I don't think it matters at all what time you eat. But make sure you're not restricting during the day so you don't start binging at night. I started eating mroe during the day and find that I still like to have a big snack at night, so i'm ok with that. And also, as i said to lady, i've maintained on 3000 for a few weeks now, so you really do need more than I do, you probably burn that much sedentary, but really the idea is to eat more than you burn so if it's true that you didn't burn 3200 today, that's perfect! and if you in fact did, you'd need to be eating more.

panda- ugh that's so rude! these people should know better than to say these things. a friend of mine told me the other day(as a compliment) "you've put on some serious weight, girl!" errg....? thanks? don't worry about your stomach either, it will even out once you gain more, i look pregnant after eating.

alrighty, as I said, a quickie response right? have a good night everyone! i'll post how it went later!

thanks gibbit! i guess i thought the 2500 minimum didn't apply to me. what i had been doing was looking up what i burned when sedentary using cc's tools, then adding in any exercise, and then the extra 500, which totaled 2500. i didn't realize that i should have been eating 2500 sedentary. it seemed to have worked...at first.

i shall uppity up then!

also, gibbet, i remember some of the meals that you posted and i thought it looked like more than 3000 since i seem to be able to reach 3000 on what seemed like less food. but that was a digression. i think that it's insane (in a good way) that you could maintain on that much. have fun at the party!

charlie - i'm from cali too! however, i currently go to school on the east coast. i think i've gotten a bit used to the cold though. it was 40 degrees the other day and i was like, "yes! warmth!" haha. it's great fun coming home for winter break and not being bothered by the weather when everyone's complaining about the cold. :)

mashed - i hope your mom gets better! also, i hope that muffin was scrumptious ;)

dolly - hmm, i think mashed made some good suggestions for you. bars are always helpful and there are tons of good sandwich ideas out there (like that tofu one). how about just a regular ol' PB and banana sammich? that's easy enough and will help with increasing calories. or if you think slicing up a banana will take too much time, have PB with honey (SO GOOD) or jam. there's also avocado sandwiches, cheese, hummus, ooh, and i just thought of an interesting combo - PB and raisin! the possibilities are endless. good luck!

slr - great job with your attitude! and don't worry about eating too much cereal - i eat kashi golean crunch! by the cupfuls!

clay - i tend to eat more at night too, although i'm trying to teach myself to spread out the food more. still, if i want something, i'll have it. anyhow, i don't really think eating a lot at night will hurt you. i've always thought that the idea of eating before bed making you fat was suspicious. since you're a guy, you should be eating more anyway (some would say that that's lucky).

ok, back to studying. bleh.

Hey hey,

Just a quickie because it's half midnight here and I need my beauty survival sleep (haha) but thanks so so much for all the support. I love you guys - seriously, you're all amazing.

Note to Lala - my mum did a bit of internet stalking on me and today she said to me 'That girl on your board you're always on.. Lalabanana? She talks a lot of sense. She's a good girl.' And she's right.

Actually had a really good chat tonight with my Mum (she's feeling a little better, I went and lay in bed with her for ages - reminded me of being a little girl again) about everything.. Made me think a lot, and I've decided I need to cut out the bull. No more excuses. No more 'compensating' when I think I've over done it. I need to gain this weight, I need to stop having obsessive food thoughts when I'm meant to be studying for interview. Most of all I need my life back - and ED cannot and will not be part of it. Mum's agreed to do more vegetarian cooking for the two of us, and since i know she cooks healthy food (though sometimes high - cal) I've agreed that I'm going to stop fussing in the  kitchen when she's cooking and let her prepare some meals for me, instead of always being a control freak. I'm tired of living a food obsessed half-life. I want to eat, I want to live, I want the two of them to run in harmony with one another, not be an 'either/or.'

Gibbit - I'm going to try and tackle the baked goods too - it's funny, we're not a family that's ever really eaten a lot of cake or muffins but they're something I've always liked as a treat and why shouldn't I have a treat now and again?

Tomorrow I want to tackle a cinammon raisin PB bagel. I've had them in the freezer for so long, and my jar of PB is still unopened becasue all this time I've sat and thought 'well it's higher than my NORMAL lunch..'

Higher shmigher. I need higher.

I also threw my container of sweetex and splenda away tonight. Small deal, but seriously, I have about 30 tablets a day. No joke. It's disgusting. Chemical, diet food crap. I'm a freaking vegetarian and that stuff is animal tested!!! :-O If I want sweet, I can have sweet in *real* food.

Scarily positive tonight. Hope I feel the same in the morning. Even if I don't, my mum will hold me accountable - and I know you guys will too! Let this be written evidence - no more screwing around from Mashed/Aunt Jemima/One half of team Clashed. It's all about moving onwards now.

Goodbye anorexia. Not so nice knowing you.

Tomorrow is a new me.

Hello lovelies!! Shopping expedition was not so successful. I only managed to find presents for my dad and sister. But while I was at World Market (do any of you have one of these near you? They rock.) I found gingerbread pancake mix!!! Thank god for Theo. If it wasn't for her, I would have never realized that gingerbread anything is one of my most favorite foods! I'm super happy, it's a whole wheat mix, short ingredient list, fiber. I'll have to make some after we finish off the muffins I made this morning.

slr- Hey! How've you been, outside of weight gain world?

panda- Again, sorry about your family situation. Maybe you could print out an article for your mom about what anorexia really is, so she knows that you're still struggling with these thoughts.

raspberry- I'm so glad that meds are working out so well for you! Seems like you're really able to get past the obsessive food thoughts. I got prescribed some that I can just take when I feel like it, but I haven't tried them yet because I very much dislike the idea of taking medication.

dolly- Yeah, definitely weigh soon. You don't want to find out a month from now that you've just been losing weight since you upped your cals. You might just have to eat 3000 cals to gain!! But why wait? Do it now! Have some mayo and cheese on that pickle sandwich you're so fond of.

lady- Why is it ED to love food? Food is meant to be enjoyed! Why do you think they have the food network on TV?? So people can learn new ways to cook food so that they enjoy it. Oh wait. Are you saying that it's ED to enjoy food, or that you stress about what you're eating and forget to? I don't know.

charlie- Glad everything is going well. Maybe you should go out to eat or something just to shake things up? If you didn't think it would trigger anything that would be hard to get "unstuck" from.

Okay, food, for once.

Breakfast- Super yummy carrot spice muffin (best thing ever. Lots of walnuts and raisins and spice, o' course), oatmeal w/ pumpkin, egg, apple

Lunch- Veggie delight with cheese and OO from Subway, TLC bar, Stonyfield Farms WM yogurt, carrots

Snack- Pecan pie larabar, clementine, string cheese

Dinner- Soba noodle stirfry with snow peas, mushrooms, and ginger (holy yum) and a samosa. Kind of mixing japanese and indian but oh well.

Snack- Gingerbread clif bar, orange, WM yogurt, Ben and Jerry'