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Weight Gainers: What did YOU eat today?

I am copying the many times copied thread, "What did you eat today?" in hopes of helping some of those who are just starting to gain and have no clue what to eat. I know that when I began weight recovery, I was eating tons of low-cal foods just because that's what I was used to. I learned the hard way that dense foods are essential to weight gain when you have high caloric requirements (at one point I needed 4500 cal to maintain my weight on BEDREST). Perhaps newbies can get some ideas if we post our weight gain meal plans! Even if you're not gaining anymore, grab an old one and post it!:]
Please note that every body is different and some will need more or less calories than others to gain. This thread is just so that you can get an idea of what you need.
Oh, and yes, I'm breaking the "no calories, no portions" rule, since it is pretty helpful in this case. If you want to post cals/portions you can. I just ask that you don't post if you're not eating enough, though as this is a weight gain thread, I would hope none of you are undereating.;]
I'll start....
Breakfast (875 cal)*

• 1/2 cup oatmeal (150) cooked with
• 1 cup evaporated whole milk (300)
• 1 mashed banana (100)
• 2 tbsp peanut butter (200)
• 1 tbsp ground flaxseed and cinnamon to taste (50) 
• 1 hard-boiled egg (75 cal)

Morning Snack (300 cal)*

• 1/4 cup mixed nuts (200)
• 1/4 cup dried apricots (100)

Lunch (660 cal)*

• 1/4 cup rice cooked in 1 cup chicken stock (300) and
• 1/2 cup canned or cooked chickpeas (145) and
• 1/3 cup shredded cheese (150) and
• 1/4 cup each onion, peppers, and tomato (30) cooked with
• 1 tbsp olive oil and curry powder to taste (120)

Afternoon snack (390 cal)*

• 1 serving baby carrots (35)
• 1/4 cup hummus (155)
• 1/4 cup mixed nuts (200)

Dinner (875 cal)*

• 1 cup of my insane Mac & Cheese recipe (515)
• 2 cups tossed salad (45)
• 2 tbsp rasins (60)
• 2 tbsp sunflower seeds (105)
• 2 tbsp dressing (150)

Evening snack (480)*

• 1 cup plain whole milk yogurt (180)
• 1/2 cup homemade granola (300)

About 3600 calories :]

Ngemma; aww thanks ^.^ It took a while, but I learned that yknow what? If I'm going to learn to eat again, I should also teach myself to enjoy it. I wanted to try the cinnamon raisin PB! but I didn't because it was less calories....I know 10-20 isn't much but yea...plus since I use PB and jam on my sandwiches, I figured the cinnaraisin might deter me from wanting jam...and that would inevitably cause a big mess. Though, if I put a scoop on top of my oats like you do...because that does sound really yummy...hmm. I might just go for that next time I need to buy more peanut butter...Oh! And I get my bars from the local health food store. Its a house-brand, but they are very similar to larabars. Made of mashed fruit and nuts, smooshed into a bar-shape. I'm a bit embarrassed to say I have fiber-one granola bars too. My mom bought them awhile ago and I'm trying to use them up even if they aren't really the best thing to eat, they actually are rather good.

I'm really glad to hear you are doing so much better. Its wonderful that you are pushing yourself to try new things and increase your calories.

Ngemma: Eee :D Good job! I keep trying to go to the shops with my parents but they've been going at times I can't make (such as when I have been at rehearsals. :\) It's fine because I can tell them what I want, but my mum is in the mindset of buying "diet", not for me, but for herself. So I'll say "peanut butter" and she comes home with reduced fat stuff and when I grumble she gets cranky. Eeeh. Cashew chicken stir fry sounds goood. @__@ Cashews are my favourite nut, I think.

Rebel: Considering you have trouble breaking ruts, as I have noticed, go for what you WANT next time. 10 to 20 calories isn't the end of the world. It would be worse if you were picking up something like a reduced fat version, but a slightly different flavour isn't the end of the world. And if all else fails, just use a bit more of it!

I'm just curious, but does anyone have any good raw food bar recipes? I love Trek and Nak'd bars but they're awfully expensive, and I know I'd have a lot more money saved making my own. I particularly like Cocoa Loco Nak'd bars, so something chocolatey would be nice!

here ya go chica:

http://bunnyfoot.blogspot.com/2006/02/homemad e-lara-type-bars.html

Terrific! Thankyou. :D

Lala; I know...I am rut-tastic. Part of it is because if there is something I want to have, but it may be less calories..I get scared that its just my ED talking, so I don't bother with it. Plus my mom doesn't really let me cook by myself (she doesn't quite trust me yet to not short-change myself) and I feel guilty asking her to cook with me more than once or twice a week. I know I shouldn't but I feel like she has so much else to deal with, I just don't want to bother her. I'm sort of trying to change things up, mostly with snacks though since I make those myself anyways.

My brother and I attempted homemade larabars - its about 1/4 cup crushed nuts combined with 1/4 cup dried fruit and any spices or flavorings one might wish to add (cinnamon, cocoa powder, vanilla extract,etc). It makes two bars though. Then you take one half the mix, place on saran wrap and press it into bar form and wrap. Repeat with the other half of the mix, and refridgerate. It's pretty simple, and they taste really good. I wish we still had a food processor for things like that.

Rebel I'm rut-tastic too. It's hard, I still need to try a different brekkie. One day.

Breakfast
All Bran
Skim milk
Banana
Grapefruit juice
Snack
Lemon larabar
Lunch
Jacket potato
Cheese
Salad
Snack
Fage
Branflakes
Agave nectar
Blueberries
Dinner
Leftover lentil stew
Wholemeal bread w. butter
Carrots
Broccoli
Dessert
Fage
Granola
Agave nectar
Cocoa powder
Blueberries (I know, similar to snack but I was craving it again for pud!)
Snack
Porridge
PB
Blueberries (I have blueberries that need using up!)

Lala and Rebel: It’s not that I dislike eating at bedtime: in fact, I am purely infamous for just the opposite—I HAVE to have that additional meal right before bed or I can’t sleep.  It’s the packing in 1000-ish calories [also after finishing dinner around 10pm] that goes overboard.  And of course there are good calorie dense ways to get it in, which is why I’m always nuts, oatmeal, shakes…but regardless once I get a couple hundred past my 5-700 “happy bedtime snack” level it starts to cause troubles.

It’s funny because I’m actually kind of hoping my gain levels off so I can move up a calorie level.  I’ve been feeling weirdly extra hungry all the time the last few days.  But then come midnight I’m’ stuffing myself silly—so I know the real problem isn’t too low of calories, but eating too little throughout the day!

Ngemma: Thanks for the lara bar link. I love those things and have been carefully rationing out the three I got on sale a while back.  If I ever make it to the grocery store [was planned today] I’ll have to get some dates and whatnot.  I do have gobs of nuts!

Mashed: How you holding up today? Also, what type of a meal plan are you on? Are you seeing a nutritionist to guide you? I’m just curious because you mentioned changing certain milks to full fat or something, so I guess you are under some sort of a plan?

Rebel: Hmm, do I sense some avoidance to my constant prodding you out of that comfy rut?  I do believe I remember you saying you were tired of sticking to what you’re comfortable with, knowing that won’t get you anywhere! And you know what scares you the most is probably the ticket to the best things.  What do you think—more planning and forseeing the progress, increases…or really doing it?  Either making the jump needed, or actually and consistently stepping it up progressively?!

It’s been a rough day for me emotionally.  I don’t even know how to find words, I’m confused myself.  I go from being so freaking frustrated with this whole thing.  Tired of thinking about it—eating, meal plans, and so on.  Then I’m back wanting a new plan.  Then I see some reminder of where I want to be and want to just screw this whole recovery/food obsessed/weight gain life and just eat whatever I doggone can and get there.  But then I fear that won’t last, that I'll get lost, go back and forth, and never truly get anywhere or mess things up more--plus lose all I've put in so far.  What I’m doing now isn’t terribly exciting, but it’s the most steady and consistent I’ve ever been.

But then I swing the other way, and awful as this sound, start to wish I was a lot worse off.  Maybe if I lost down to 80-something pound, starved myself so I had heart arrythmias and seizures, or something like that I could get people running to “save me.”  I know logically that’s cruel thinking and I am so sorry, I would never really wish that.  I think what I really want is someone to take care of me.  Make it all better. Fix me.  And when I’m feeling so stuck inbetween [ok and yet not] it makes me want to just get really messed up so I can get rescued.  Ack, I’m sorry for such irrational rambling.  I just needed to get that out.  Remind me to come back and delete it later before I really mess with someone…

I hope tomorrow will be better. I’m going out of town to see a best friend of mine before grad school picks up for her and work/school get back for me.  I think just getting out and doing something besides contemplating my state and eating and planning what I’m going to eat will do me good.

I've eaten out nearly every meal. And eating whatever i want. With no exercise mostly running around gatheringthings to take to IP with me.

Strange feeling after the other night, but a good worthy stab in the he-ED for myself well and truley. Had a Creamy Mushroom Crepe yesterday for lunch at a Creperie(haha.. craparie. But seriously..im eating things i want).

And tonight as its my last Saturday with the family we're going out to another restaurant and mum let me choose and let me go see the menu not that i cared. She just wanted it to be easier on me. And my best friend is coming too so that'll be awesome. So i'll probably have my first order of "Fries" in YEARS. And Maybe Grilled Stuffed Chicken? Maybe Garlic Prawns? Whatever i want. I don't know what to expect in IP apart from i know there is NO diet foods. I'm only allowed TWO 'dislikes' what the hell do i put there.. Milk? I only drink it in.... nothing!

Everyone seems to be doing so well!
I know i won't be on CC whilst in IP but i will be around making sure i'm up to date on everyones process! I am just so happy to know you all. I love you all very very much. Pitiful to say it but as you all know.. you guys are a backbone for me. Or an individual disc on my backbone. Either way. I loovs ya.

XXXXX

Lauren, know that I'm always thinking of you.  You take care of yourself, and get better! 

And it's not your last Saturday with the family.  You'll have many more, only you'll be enjoying yourself, and not in the cruel grasp of ED. 

I say smuggle in plenty of Tim Tams and blueberry and white chocolate scones.  Oh, and flood the place in caramel.  ;-)

I know you're going to do amazingly, and show everyone else in recovery how it's done.  Love you, hon. 

Mel. xox

You'll do great, Lady! And Enjoy the dinner with your family and friends and have whatever the hell you feel like. =)

BREAKFAST: Two Weetbix with milk, sultanas, banana slices and natural yogurt; Glass of orange juice

SNACK: Handful of cashews; Handful of sultana, apricot, cashew and dried apple mix

LUNCH: Bakery vegetarian pizza roll with rocket, capsicum, tomato sauce; Cucumber slices and chargrilled capsicums with tzatziki, avocado and hot sauc

DESSERT: Fun-sized mint Kit-Kat bar

SNACK: Berryfruits yogurt with rest of sultana, apricot cashew and dried apple mix and banana slices

DINNER: Lamb souvlaki (pita, lamb, tzatziki, tomato, onion); Cucumber slices with tzatziki and hot sauce

SNACK: Natural yogurt mixed with Milo milk drink powder and banana slices

tearstotriumph: I had a nutritionist for years but to be honest I can't be bothered any more - she was so unhelpful, hated any 'healthy' food (she insisted I have milkshakes instead of larabars.. why?! same calories!), Said I only needed 2000 to gain - any more than that was evidence I was either vomiting or exercising. She was rude, smug and sadistic in IP (used to increase my diet once a week whether I gained or not and never did it to anyone else) so I'm just going it alone now. I hated that woman so much. She used to laugh at me when I cried or got angry. And she had the weirdest concept of normal eating - butter with PB?

I find I'm doing much better making my own meal plans - and they allow me much more flexibility and I don't feel guilty for needing more than her supposed 'max requirement for my weight' of 2000.

Mashed; I went through the same thing in IP!!! Both actually. First IP had me up to their maximum amount of calories for girls (3400-3600) within about 2.5 weeks. They said to me "What are you doing, are you purging? You've only gained two or three pounds! We can't up your calories anymore." Next day, I was transferred because they refused to believe I wasn't purging (which I've never done, either). The same thing happened at the next hospital, except they had bumped me up to 4000-4500. :sigh: No one ever believes the anorexics. Actually though, some people do put butter on their PBJ sandwiches. Butter only goes on the side with jam though. I always thought it was some weird Southern USA thing.

Lala/Tears ;I tried a different breakfast this morning! Instead of granola, I made oatmeal. Apple pie oatmeal! Oats, chopped apple, protein powder, carmel cream, chopped walnuts, cinnamon.  I'm also making some cherry cobbler to have for "dessert" with lunch.

Oh in IP we have to have Butter OR Margarine on any bread/toast/sandwich. No matter what. UNLESS authorised by a nutritionist.

Mine was the same, but i loved my nutritionist. I genuinely got along with her. Till i stopped taking the Suppliments. Everyone could see i was 'trying so hard' and still losing(i wasn't lying, i just wasn't telling them the truth.. i was exercising secretly still. to the point of blacking out). But when i was reaching 2500 and she'd see what i'd eaten(i'd write it all down) even though it reached 2500 calories she was like 'but you chose sushi over say... a kebab? or sushi.. over mcdonalds?) I always found that strange.

Anyway.
Tonight has been awesome and insanely .... insane.

My last writing of food

Breakfast - Oats with Sustagen (protein powder vanilla) chopped walnuts and banana.
Crumpet(my god i love crumpets!) with Blueberry/Cranberry Jam.(St. Dalfour the best jam EVER.)

Lunch - Cottage Cheese and Avocado Sandwich with Salad
Apple

Snack - Vanilla Chiller(like a thickshake/coffee/ice crush thing. seriously dairy isn't agreeing with me.. the thought of blueberries and yogurt made me vomit whilst in emergency the other night!! what the hell!)

Dinner - HERES THE BIG ONE!
CHICKEN KIEV WITH GARLIC BUTTER(so much butter it soaked through nearly ALL the fries!) I picked most of the crusty deep fried battered coating but still.. it was so good just to eat what i wanted and there was no guilt. Me and Nadsy ate nearly all my chips and i ate all the veges DIPPING into the garlic butter sauce. (this is my 10% naughty:P) It was to die for. The chicken COULD have been nicer.. but who cares!! it was so nice to see mum shocked that i reached across the table to grab a 'crispy fry!!' from my sisters plate.

When i got home i estimated dinner at 800 or so. still had yogurt with grapes and berries

Just then... i'd been craving this... very very very much.
CUP OF TEA WITH A TIM TAM SLAM!!!

(google tim tams guys.. ill send you ALL a packet if you don't have them there!)
You can never have one.. but i did.

I love you all so much
You're all doing so good. But just.. **** ed.
Honestly.. boobs, bum curves and HAPINESS beats the **** out of counting, measuring and comparing everything.

just go for it. no more piss farting around

xxxxxxxx

(oh mashed. PB and butter.. if you're looking for extra cals or.. just wanna be awesome one day.
two sliced of bread. butter on one. pb on the other. smoosh em together and microwave.....my brother use to do it.. i found it grotesque till i took a bite.)

x

okay so here it goes- best day by far...it's 2am and i just finished my night snack, mind you i am a bit tipsy but i'm so glad i am socializing and going to parties with my friends again... all i can think about was how last year was such an anti-social nightmare..not even willing to do studying with other classmates because i wanted to be alone with my food/work/sleep schedule..BUT ANYHOW

today

breakfast:

1/2c oat bran (up from 1/3) , 1/2c ccheese (up from 1/4) , 2tbsp dried dates and craisins, 1 tbsp sliced almonds (up from none!) , coffee (400) 

lunch:

veggie sushi roll, 1 weetbix heated with 1/2 vanilla chobani (400)

snack:

fruit salad (grapes, strawberries, apples) and a few more almonds (100?)

dinner:

english muffin, nature promise soy burger, broccoli, laughing cow wedge (400)

dessert:

about 3 drinks (300)

just now (2am snack)

2 weetabix with almond milk w/ spoonful of cinnraisin pbr and vanilla chobani (mm so good) (350)

1950

holy **** ( up from 1300 last weekk...*deep breath*

feel like quite a pig but i know its okay and i'm finally really falling in love with pb and allowing myself to eat healthy portions of it without guilt. something i never thought would happen in my whole life. i am almost prepared for a relapse soon because these moments never last long but i'm milking this motivated time period out like no other and enjoying it as much as i can so i never want to go back. another day of not tracking and i'm confident i didnt go over or under significantly but have raised accordingly

once again: lady- i love you, i feel for you completely and eat your little heart out for all it's worth. dont dread the days ahead just live in the moment. before you know it your worst fears will be over and recovery is what you make of it. if you're ready and determined you will come out a new person and, yes, you still need to work at it every day but it is so **** insignificant to the promise your life has ahead of you and health will bring you all the opportunities you've been missing out on . feel free to message me whenever about anything and you are sincerely in my prayers;)

tears- you are amazing as well. your progress has no gone unnoticed and, like most of us (especially me), night time is a time for eating more so just go ahead and eat it . you deserve it for all the depravation and kids our age do it all the itme without gaining but because they ENJOY it and it makes them happy- not because they're thinking about weight gaining or losing. food is such a social and part of life to be enjoyedd which is what were missing. go for it- go for what you want. your cravings are paralell to what you deprived yourself of so stop this restricitive/ stressful business and have what you deserve. i know it must sound crazy coming from me but everytme i get really motivated i become so realistic that i know what im saying is true and i dont allow ed to intervene, and neither should you. love you! and have a good day tomorrowxx

mashed- mm i love blueberries and yeah i guess routines should be broken up a bit but i dont plan on backing down on my oats with ccheese and fruit every morning unless im away from home. when i have all bran i actually add cottage cheese to it and dried fruit whcih is amazinggg or greek yogurt with fresh fruit and almonds...dont stress though- calories are calories and if you like your routine i think you should just stay with the general menu but change things here and there to get more broaden horizons- whatever makes you happy- awesome job lately thoughh

rebel- same for you. i'm in the same position as you can see i'm still addicted to cottage cheese and oats. whateevr, i've stopped having them for lunch and dinner and only for breakfast and sometimes night snacks cept weetabix heated is my new thing before bed with peanut butter and yogurt. 

glad you guys liked the recipe= i found it ages ago and have still yet to try it- let me know how they are?! goodnight lovebugs

Journal.

Okay. I'm not angry at anyone here and I'm going to write replies to you all, now, because you still deserve those.

Ngemma: Eee. I'm glad you're up 1300 (well done!) on last week but I will enforce this simply because I can't pick and play favourites and have called others up on it before: avoid posting a menu that's not in excess or meeting at least 2500. Again, not personal, but it'd be unfair of me not to mention it. Even then, still! Well done. Now keep pushing up, yes? I've been really happy to hear how enthused you've been lately and I have faith you can keep going and get your calories up to a good level as well as fighting back in your mind, too. You deserve that social life back! :D

Your menu is actually quite balanced, though still calorie lacking. But I wanted to say: YESS! I'm not the only one who eats weetabix in yoghurt! My family look at me funny when I do that but it's so gooey and fun to eat XD  Try and get more servings of everything in, now, as your menu is still fairly even nutritionally. I'd count that alcohol as "fun food", lol. Still, you've mentioned all those IP mealplans you sent Dolly, right? Remember they are still mealplans you were given, have followed, and remember you need (and deserve, no matter what ED might tell you) more than you're eating right now!

Lady: You are a beautiful, lovely, smart and eccentric (in the good way) young woman and I have all faith that you can kick this ED in the face once and for all, with leopard print wedge shoes. Seriously, girl, you can do this. And sod, I love chicken kievs. They're hard to make, though, and finding any premade without butter (lactose) is nigh on impossible, here. :|

A fun fact for you: battered fish and chips is intended for removal of the batter. The batter was used primarily a preservation method and was peeled off by most before consumption of the fish within; the fact the batter tasted good was an aside. I still eat the batter or breading on things because it's delicious though, lol. >__>;

Garlic makes for SEXY morning breath.

Tears: If you're feeling hungry even though you're eating a lot it's very possible that your metabolism is speeding or just improving in general. I also really think you should get yourself a little plastic box, label it "emergency food rations" and fill it with nuts or dense granola/cereal bars in case you're out and something changes that would put you low on calories come the day's end. That way you'll have about 300 calories there on hand and won't need to cram it in the evening.

Don't stress yourself out, hon. And as for the "cruel thinking" - no, I see where you are coming from. But I have to stress that you don't have to be that far gone to deserve help and attention and otherwise. Just like an anorexic doesn't have to be underweight, nor a binge eater overweight, and so on. You're free to vent your feelings though and I personally didn't find that at all distressing or upsetting. You were speaking your mind; I know that you're smart enough to not actually want to go down that road.

A day of free eating is always a good thing. Have fun with your friend, yes?

Mashed: I wanted access to a nutritionist more than anything in my outpatient team but they constantly denied me seeing one. Ironically, now, I find going my own way and just maintaining a balance of everything in my diet is a better way to go without needing a potentially very unhelpful nutritionist. I've heard a fair few horror stories regarding them outside your own.

I don't understand butter with other condiments save perhaps honey. Anything else and it's a bit... stodgy. What I do do sometimes, though, is replace butter with a nut butter. Cashew nut is good for it because it is bland enough that it does not detract from any other flavours in the sandwich, while at the same time provides calories.

Rebel: Good job! A fruit central dessert is an okay start, though don't make it too low a cal-per-serving recipe. Or bulk it out with a side serving of yoghurt/ice cream/custard. I really like fruit tarts and cobblers and such, though, so that's cool. :D

Lala; I put whipped cream on top ^.^ I have not had that stuff in AGES! I had forgotten what it tasted like. Oh my. Whipped cream is definitly back on my "likes" list.

Ngemma; I'm so glad you're finally getting at least a maintenance level of calories. I know how hard it is to even get yourself up to that much. And I'm really proud of you for trying to change your meals up, and have thigns you are afraid of. Now you just need to increase those portions a little bit maybe and get your calories up to 2500, like lala has said. I can honestly tell you from my own experience - I did not stop losing weight until I got over 2000 calories a day. Only then did my weight even begin to creep up on the scale (at 2200ish I gained maybe half a pound a week) So, lala knows her stuff and I must insist you listen to her. ^.^

Lady; I'm going to miss you so much doll <3 Maybe your IP will have internet priveledges and you willb e able to stop in and say hello every now and again? I'll hope for that. If not, you know we will all be here waiting for a galant return. I'm going to PM you my email just for **** and giggles and such.

Tears; don't be so hard on yourself. It's honestly quite normal to want help when you are struggling. And it would make sense that if something seriously traumatic had occurred that people would be understanding, more willing to help, more supportive. It's okay. I feel that way too sometimes - I often wish someone could just swoop in and take anorexia away, or wave a magic wand and make me healthy again. I also sometimes wish I would just die already, because I feel like the amount of stress and worry I cause my family is too much. But rationally, I know that wouldn't solve anything. And I'm not about to end my life, just like you aren't about to make your situation worse than it is. Thoughts are simply that - thoughts. There are a million of them, don't let the fleeting ones make you feel badly about yourself. The only thing that matters is that you are still trying, you are still rescuing yourself. And when you get yourself back to a nice healthy place, just imagine how good, how proud and independent you will feel knowing you and you alone got yourself there.

Rebel: Real whipped cream, yes? x] Aaah, I miss that stuff! I am someone guilty of once eating it out of the can! (I say once; I am a repeat offender)

Lady (and sort of Rebel): If my knowledge is right, some IP places allow internet privs but are closely monitored and while your intent might be wellmeant I reckon a calorie counting site would be offlimits! But you've still got all our emails and Facebooks and such, yes? :D

Lady: Don’t they let you have computers in the hospital?  Maybe there’s some sort of wireless network you could connect into?  I’ll miss you!  But one way or the other you getting gbetter is more important than years of chatting here but remaining stuck.  We all need to move on to better things and real life!  A future as friends with so much going for them, rather than a community of sickly things.

Mashed: Eww yeah the positive to being on your own is you can use what you’ve learned to create your own plan.  How do you set yours up?  I’m curious as I sort through my own frustrations with this whole planning thing… [see the novel I wrote below if you want!]

Ngemma: Like I said last night, it’s not late night eating I mind—I love late night eating.  It’s the amount I’ve been left cramming that gets to me.  I’ll be quite pleased when I get into a groove where I can have a few ounces of nuts, some cottage cheese, and a banana right before a nice full tummy for the night; rather than spending midnight-1am stuffing 1000+ calories in, and then the rest of the night with a tummy ache and in and out of the bathroom.
BTW I’m posting to you on the other thread about meal plans too. J

Rebel: I left a comment on your journal.  Use it in your favor—prove it…make it happen, whatever it takes.  Don’t hide behind “challenge foods” and temporary increases…do whatever it takes to make yourself get to your goals. So they think you can’t/aren’t?  See to it you prove that you ARE!  With your results!

Lala: aww your response touched my heart.  I actually came on to delete that this morning, expecting an email already banning me for being such a downer + saying mean things.  And instead I got compassion?  You have a heart of gold. J 

And of course I don’t “really” want to make myself collapse, it was an emo

tion more than anything.  Coming from a longing to be rescued.
…and also a getting sick of this life.  The planning, thinking about food. Calculating.  The hunger, the stuffing.  I want so bad to just eat the best I can to gain weight.  I’m tempted to give it a go…but then I realize that while it hasn’t been exciting, I’ve been the most steady with my input and progress physically in less than two weeks than in all my different meal plans last year.  I don’t want to give that in on a spontaneous impatience and frustration.  However, one way or the other I do want to minimize how much freakin’ time I spend trying to figure it out!

On that note I googled 3000/3500 calorie meal plans this morning looking for some basic guidelines to spare me the grief of planning out and counting calories so tediously.  What I found was not only some guidelines, but a surprising kick-in-the-mindset to get me out of the attitude of “I’m an invalid stuck in the land of eating and aunguish” so I might as well plummet and at least be a real “’poor sick girl” to a newfound umph to rebuild my dreams, particularly as an athlete [which now missing is the biggest trial on my emotions because that life and the people there really made me tick!].  The sites dedicated to 3000+ plans were body building and athletic type sources rather than diabetic or weight control [focus on body and weight and all that]—reminding me that my nutrition plan is my prescription to BUILD the athlete!  Obviously the plans were to go along with some hardcore working out, but I know my body needs that same amount of input to build ME first before it can serve those workouts to build more of an athlete.

In any case, I was pretty excited and would like to give it a try.  I picked the one that gave an overall breakdown of food groups: categories A, B, and C with examples of what constitutes as one of each.  It also gave how many things from each group to pick per meal and a sample menu.  The thing was, I printed it off and started working on it, and I did find I’ll need to change it around a bit.  I like having more B [proteins] later in the day rather than just carb [A] and fruit [C] categories at bedtime, and I might not be able to work each meal out exactly as prescribed.  But I was thinking I could still use the plan as a total of each category per day, and also overall targets for each meal plus three snacks. 
This plan won’t give me an exact calorie count because it’s based more on the purpose of each group rather than the total calories, but I like that because it still gives me a steady input in a range, but puts the focus on meeting the needs served by each group rather than just counting so obsessively.

Any thoughts? In sum, the positives are it helps me focus on the right things with my menu planning.  The negative is that it could possible lead to more tricky planning since I’m trying to plan specific food types.

…and grr, even this new plan sorting ate up half my day! Time to change gears already…although now I have to eat, grocery shop, hopefully cook/bake, and way too much other food related things!  Dang I need one of those services where they just mail you a preplanned meal. At least then I would only have to do the eating part!

Tears: Inpatient treatment for an ED... you usually work in "levels", which involve how well you cooperate with your inpatient team and various other things. Your level might dictate whether or not you have internet access. This is me going from outside knowledge, though, largely what I was run through when it was discussed with me going into daypatient. And like I said, I think CC might be offlimits even then. xD

You're welcome. I figured you were venting emotion, and I empathise with that want for rescue. When things get tough and overwhelming to a point you're not sure you can handle them alone, the desire to have someone come in on a metaphorical white horse is really desirable. D;

The plan sounds good so long as you know you're getting enough food (I say food, not calories, but they also apply). Where I estimate my calories, I work with large portions - and if I think I'm having too little I put some more on my plate. It sounds a lot like an exchanges plan.