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Weight Gainers: What did YOU eat today?

I am copying the many times copied thread, "What did you eat today?" in hopes of helping some of those who are just starting to gain and have no clue what to eat. I know that when I began weight recovery, I was eating tons of low-cal foods just because that's what I was used to. I learned the hard way that dense foods are essential to weight gain when you have high caloric requirements (at one point I needed 4500 cal to maintain my weight on BEDREST). Perhaps newbies can get some ideas if we post our weight gain meal plans! Even if you're not gaining anymore, grab an old one and post it!:]
Please note that every body is different and some will need more or less calories than others to gain. This thread is just so that you can get an idea of what you need.
Oh, and yes, I'm breaking the "no calories, no portions" rule, since it is pretty helpful in this case. If you want to post cals/portions you can. I just ask that you don't post if you're not eating enough, though as this is a weight gain thread, I would hope none of you are undereating.;]
I'll start....
Breakfast (875 cal)*

• 1/2 cup oatmeal (150) cooked with
• 1 cup evaporated whole milk (300)
• 1 mashed banana (100)
• 2 tbsp peanut butter (200)
• 1 tbsp ground flaxseed and cinnamon to taste (50) 
• 1 hard-boiled egg (75 cal)

Morning Snack (300 cal)*

• 1/4 cup mixed nuts (200)
• 1/4 cup dried apricots (100)

Lunch (660 cal)*

• 1/4 cup rice cooked in 1 cup chicken stock (300) and
• 1/2 cup canned or cooked chickpeas (145) and
• 1/3 cup shredded cheese (150) and
• 1/4 cup each onion, peppers, and tomato (30) cooked with
• 1 tbsp olive oil and curry powder to taste (120)

Afternoon snack (390 cal)*

• 1 serving baby carrots (35)
• 1/4 cup hummus (155)
• 1/4 cup mixed nuts (200)

Dinner (875 cal)*

• 1 cup of my insane Mac & Cheese recipe (515)
• 2 cups tossed salad (45)
• 2 tbsp rasins (60)
• 2 tbsp sunflower seeds (105)
• 2 tbsp dressing (150)

Evening snack (480)*

• 1 cup plain whole milk yogurt (180)
• 1/2 cup homemade granola (300)

About 3600 calories :]

linny - I wouldn't use it as a binge day, just a day where I ate alot more than I usually would.
For me I dont really have any 'safe' or 'scary' foods. Just safe and scary amounts of calories. I would totally eat double fried chocolate dipped slice of pizza if it had like 150 calories. Does that make sense? haha I feel like Im talking nonsense.
Was it the actual food for you? Or was it the nutritionals?
Sorry Im just so interested in other peoples situations!

t17 - At your height/weight/age if youre doing moderate [around 30 mins exercise 3-4 times a week] activity you'll need around 3000-3100 to maintain most likely.
If you want to gain 1 pound a week it would be around 3500-3600

Alysha_-Too bad you were not treated too well while there. :( Oh well, glad you still had fun! Your food looks awesome also. Congrats on having such a great day!

Butterfly-Sorry to hear about the fight. I hate fighting with my mom. Glad that now I no longer fight over exercise/food though :] You are doing amazing though, do not let a 3.2 pound weight gain let you down! That is what you need! I am also sorry to hear about her lack of apathy.(I think I used apathy in the right context, but if I didn't then whoops!) Have you tried explaining to her what eds are really about? Do you have a counselor/nutritionist who could better help her to understand what you are going through? Stay strong girl...

Relena-Welcome back! It stinks that you have to be a low enough weight to seek treatment. I hate when people think that you can only be an anorexic of your weight is low. >.< It really is not about food or weight. It is about control and such. But oh well, I cannot change those bubble brains of a people's minds... Hopefully you continue to heal. Have a great day!

Aussie-CONGRATULATIONS!!! That is awesome :] The whole place sounds very nice and an awesome gym? COOL! I am so so so excited for you. I love what you said about starting new. You really should. You can do this! Deal with this ed and send it back to the place it came from...What is baked alaska? Like what is in it? I love love love B+J'S but have not heard of that kind yet...Thanks!

Agruskin-I think that this is going to be a real challenge. You can do it though! I have NO DOUBTS! Keep up the great work :]

EDIT-(need to write about myself! :D )

I am having a good day actually! I really feel as though the ED is GONE. And let me tell you, it is the best feeling in the world! I have so much energy. I do not focus on the food, I focus on eating healthy, exercising in moderation, talking to/being with my boyfriend, etc, and just LOVING AND LIVING LIFE! We got groceries today and I got lots of yummy things :] Kashi waffles, two boxes kashi cereal, kashi bars, organic maple syrup, organic fruits, and a bunch of other things! Oh and I making dinner this week again. Making my famous OATMEAL pancakes w/ all natural BACON!!! Mmm Angel!

Thanks you all! You mean so much to me and you have helped me so much. I love you guys!!! (I just felt like saying that...)

Relana: Take a look at the 'Around the dinner table' forum (put 'Around the dinner table' into google). Seriously, i would take a look and print out the pages about meal plans etc: i think there is a link pinned to the top of the forum or you can use the search tool. I think it would help show your mum how much you need right now and help explain to her about repairing the metabolism. Also, trying showing her the Minnesota Starvation study. There is little for her to argue againts a scientific study! I hope thing improve.

Psycoj: I am so happy for you on become just jess again! It must feel pretty darned great. I dont have a nurtionist (do have an appointment but its a 4-5 month weight. How silly!) but i feel i cant physicaly describe what is going on in my head. I know the weight gain is meant to be a good thing but it is sitting sooooo uncomfortable. I can feel it and i deteste it. Please tell me it re-distributes from the middle area (stomach, lower back, love-handles etc etc). Ontop of that i have my jeans on, which i bought nearset my lowest weight and they feel tight. Urgh. I wish i was like you.

So i stopped at a snack before..heres the rest, God knows how i have manage to eat it:

Lunch: Whole wheat pita wwith grated cheese and tomato. Activa fruit layer yogurt. Apple.

Snack: Glass v8 and an Eat natural apricot and almond bar

Dinner: 2 Quorn chinese style burgers, whole wheat bun and some steamed veggies

Snack (will be): Hot chocolate made with semi skimmed milk and tbsp hot chocolate powder.

Please says this gets better............

wooooooooooooo, so i gained 3.5lbs since last wed!!!  AND im sooooo excited!!!!!!  i am so happy, really think im beating this.  im unhealthy, sickly, i need to gain weight in order to become healthy, to live life.  IF need be down the road, after i gain and become a healthy weight, if i then think i need to lose, then fine, through an effort of healthy eating +moderate excercise.  buut thats life.  i am so excited!  i figure if im trying to gain weight anyways, id rather do it eating foods i like/want, when i do,  rather than gain on a low amount.  hopefully ill pick some healthy options on my way, but im also going to enjoy it.  i still have fears-pasta!!!!  oil!!!  bit i need to over come these fears in order to live a full life!

ugh, but yea, still a bit backed up? help?? lol!

mon-

bagel, pb, apple, cheese~400

roll, cheese sandwich w/lettuce, fage w/ strawberry sauce, baked ruffles cheddar cheese, peach~ 430

PLANNING- baskin robbins(either at home or go out)

ransom snacking and out  to dinner, probably w more snacks!

JESS-yay for recovery!!!!!!

BUTTERFLY-please try a nd focus on your goals!

 

That is soo great agruskin that you gained. I am so proud of you !!!

Decempt, I actually am scared of certain foods maybe because they are always high in calories. For example, even through recovery I find it hard to eat any sort of bagel, real pb, or pasta. Not too sure why I have this weird mental relationship with them, another thing that does me in is any sort of cake or sweet. But I am really starting to learn to get over this barrier and continue to push. I guess I would just rather have fruit and yogurt verus the same calories in ice cream....a little weird haaa??

Today so far...

B- pumpkin pancakes with syrup an apple and almonds

S- 2 cups of coffee (had to get out and go to the gym, no time really)

L- pretzels (tons haa) and a chicken and mushroom wrap with honey mustard

S- maybe starbucks something? I'm going out to find my mom a bday present for tom.

D- ground turkey, veggies, potato or bread?

S- cereal and better n pb or fruit with yogurt

linny - Oh geez Im with you on bagels and pb [I dont eat bagels and I buy pb2]. I am freakishly afraid of pasta. Its not so bad if theyre within my 'safe' caloric zone but it just feels like theyre so DIFFERENT. Like they have some sort of magical waist expanding power, hahaha, I sound like a looney I know.
Thats awesome that you are getting over the barrier though. Now that I think about it, I havent had ice cream or bagels or pasta or cake or anything like that in a very long time. The last time I had fudge I was 14. I love fudge.

Keep up your amazing work

bagels and ice cream are the besttttttttt-go for it!!!

have 1 challenege food/meal a day!!!!!

i need to get over my fear of pasta and other ppl cooking for me (scared they use tons of oil, and my mother does!)

we can do it!!!!!!

Haha argu thats how my grandmother is. She puts insane amounts of oil and butter in everything!

Hey guys! Went to a buffet... They had oodles of fruit and veggies.. SO. GOOD. I also had some roast beef! It was awesome.

I also gained 3 pounds. FINALLY!  A lot of the people I talked to said I looked like a model now. *Giggles* Woot!

So today for lunch I was craving egg whites.. and I wanted to of course bulk it up a bit. So I threw  in garlic, pepper, tomato, spinach, mushrooms, onions, green onions and a tbsp. of cottage cheese! .... ......*Gag* Hahahaha. NOT trying that again. Cottage cheese and eggs don't quite work together.

hello there my loves!

Wistfulxthinking: hahaha your egg white omelette sounds brilliant, it's all about the experimentation!  Any other ideas? One of my faves was maryland chocolate chip cookies with babybel!  AND WELL DONE on your 3 pounds! Why not model?

agruskin: I love your idea of eating one challenge food a day, I think you must be really brave!  I agree with your fear of other people cooking for you, I'm terrified of the mothership's cooking - I swear she would drink olive oil if she could...

decempt: one way I got over my fear of pasta was to slowly up the serving - The gov website is standardised to 75g uncooked, so my dad and I agreed that if he measured that serving out, that's what I'd eat, as I knew it was a normal amount, hope that helps... 

linny: totally agree with the wierdness of freakout foods and their individuality!  At the moment I do NOT do well with anything that isn't individually portioned out, like big types of ice cream....

So....tomorrow I jump from 1.300 calories to 2.500 (I figure, let's just see what happens, when else am I going to legitimately be able to experiment like this?) wish me luck, already scared out of my MIND!

Today: ok, so today was pretentious, I go for weeks eating beans on toast, and then go crazy cooking, just to remind myself I can....Brekkers: homemade english muffin with my own gooseberry preserve.

Lunch: homemade tortellini filled with veal braised in red wine

Dinner: Scallops in a black bean sauce with pak choi and wild rice

Haven't decided on pudding yet, trying not to freak out about it....

Also, me and my friend were trying to think of ways of making 2.500 calories fun (hah!) and we came up with: *only eating foods beginning with certain letters of the alphabet on some days, i.e. m on monday, t on tuesday, *eating backwards - dinner at breakfast, etc, *eating 2.500 calories of one think and seeing how many variations, like 2.500 calories of cheese, or gingerbread men.....any other ideas?

much love!

theofournay -
Thank you for the advice!
And as for the 2500 being fun you could also do different cuisines from around the world, i.e. one day mexican, the next all american, after that caribbean, then italian etc. Or you could do that for every meal but that could be hard to arrange for a different part of the world each sit down.
You could do colors, Monday could be red/pink and you could fill up on grapefruit juice and mexican/thai dishes with lost of red peppers, things cooked in red wine, baked red apples with cinnamon, pomegranate ice cream. Tuesday could be yellow/orange eating bananas and chinese dishes with yellow cabbage, pumpkin dishes, canteloupe, etc.

Hope that helped!

relena- Wow. Sorry weight gain is being such an awful time in your life. I'm trying to use it to figure out what foods I actually enjoy eating, and don't just eat because they're healthy or whatever. Like ice cream, and cheese! It doesn't really seem like you're getting much of a chance to do that. But, the powdered milk is a good idea b/c it adds lots of cals without filling you up. And when you need to maintain, you can just switch it out with fruit or something that will. It probably still won't be enough to speed up your metabolism though. Does your mom know that you want to keep speeding up your metabolism? Maybe you could talk to her and convince her to let you make some choices of high cal stuff.

psycho- YAY YAY YAY I'm glad you feel that your ED is gone! I really really hope we all can say that some time soon. You're such an inspiration to us all. Life is worth obsessing over every calorie. And mmm, having breakfast for dinner is my favorite thing to do!

butterfly- It does get better! I know it sort of feels like the end of the world now. But once all the bloating goes away, you start to enjoy food more and find what really tastes good to you! But good job sticking with this and making yourself eat.

agru- Congrats! You have the perfect attitude eight now. Keep it! The idea of one challenge food a day is a good idea.

theo- Wow, you were feeling a bit ambitious today. Do you have a snack between lunch and dinner? And hmm, ways to make eating 2500 fun.. um, you could do all rhyming foods? Like pasta, um.. okay nevermind. How about one day you do all cold food, like yogurt, ice cream, pudding; then the next do all hot. Or one day you could have finger food, and the next only have stuff you eat with a spoon! Hehe you should make a new thread about this.

theo- I love that idea! That's such a great way to make this fun and get your mind off of everything the ed wants yout o be afraid of. and OMG your cooking sounds incredible! homemade tortellini?? I tried ravioli once but its so labor intensive.

linny- yummm pumpkin pancakes! I'm also afraid of pasta and bagels, but i started with pasta again (whole wheat) when I realized it actually had more protein and fiber than rice or any of the other grains I've considered "safer" for a long time.

agru- congrats on the gain!!! that's great and it's so great that you're happy with it, take the ED!!!! I was backed up yesterday which I think contributed to my stomach ache and today I've been, well...not. But its also sort of painful. Make sure you're well hydrated and eat something high in fiber, like grains, or pasta!

butterfly- it does get bettter!! Good job pushing through this and still eating. We all go through rough patches and it's good to just eat anyways and know that tomorrow you'll feel better. I really hope my weight redistibutes soon too!

relena- I'm so glad you're back! I was worried. You seem to be doing much better. Maybe try to do some research on nutrition, as others have said and try talking to her. My mom is the same way and always tries to shove junk food at me and convince me it's the only way to gain. the only thing that's gotten her to back off a little is that she is actually seeing me gain weight and I"m still eating healthy. I know that powdered milk sounds scary, and you're not going to want to ehar this, but it will probably really help. I do that too, i have some supplemental powdered milk formula that's supposed to be for kids that I add into things like milk, oatmeal, or yogurt, or even soups. The fat from milk is good for you and will really help you get better. Plus I like the idea of adding cals this way that you don't notice, it won't add extra bulk and that way when you want to maintain it's so easy to just take out of your diet.

aussie- congrats on getting into your first choice!

So, I'm really not liking the internship, grrr!!! I was there all morning and couldnt leave until after 3. No lunch break. The lady I worked with went to mcdonalds around one but never asked if I needed one. Luckily I had taken a larabar with me and that held me over til I finally told her I needed to leave. Plus I found out I can't get credit for it, and it's unpaid. I was hoping to get some experience and make connections through it but I work in a cublicle and have zero contact with anyone, and I'm just doing research for her shows, or basically all the busy work she doesnt ahve time to do, or doesnt want to do. On top of that there are a lot of other probably more beneficial thigns I want to do this semester that would give me opportunities to actually make money and not have to work in an office (I consider offices the worst thing in the world!!) It's completely voluntary, but I'd feel like such a quitter ending it now. What to do?!?!

Oh, and I also had a question, do any of you eat in the middle of the night? I never post those snacks on ehre because I don't know what day it goes under but I never manage to sleep through the night, I usually wake up multiple times so I began just getting a snack because I figured if I'm awake, why not get in some extra calories? So usually around 4 I'll have a glass of warm soymilk and honey and whatever carby sweet thing I have, cookies, cake, or cereal, then go back to sleep. I did this last night per usual, had some cake around 4, but then I actually woke up starving at like 6, so I had more cake, and when I got up for real at 8 I was starving again. It was weird. I usually don't eat out of hunger, just a sense that I should be eating....is this unhealthy? I know for now it's ok because I need extra cals anyways, but I don't want to develop bad habits.

anyways, here are my foods so far:
b- wm vanilla yogurt, peach, blueberries, almonds, graham crackers on top.

s- coco mole larabar, coffee (at the office)

l- at 3:30!! uggh I hate being off schedule. soy grounds, potatos, hard boiled egg, carrots sprouts and spinach salad, brussel sprouts.

no idea what i'll have later. I feel like my whole day is so thrown off :\

hi everyone!

ok, so eating out w the parents on the early side-6pm! i normally eat a snack at 6 30 and dinner at 9 bc i like to push eating as late as possible, so i guess my challenge is eating early and snacking more afterwards i suppose.

GIBBIT-my yr long internship was unpaid, but required in order to get internship.  im sure youll get a lunch break, u cant work w/o breaks!  also, i think once you see the flow of the place, youll be able to interact w others more, learn when and where to eat, etc, good luck-i hope i crap!!!!!!!!lol

theo-great job!  it all looks so very delicious!  lol about the oil!  it makes me nuts, i need to somehow learn to eat other ppl's cooking!

mon- (all earlier than normal in an attempt to eat at normal times?)

bagel, pb, apple, cheese~400

roll, cheese sandwich w/lettuce, fage w/ strawberry sauce, baked ruffles cheddar cheese, peach~ 430

~1/4 c, baskin robbins PB cup ice cream-stoamch pains!!!!

planning-

subway ham+cheese melt, either chips or 1/2 cookie, maybe a veg salad? ~500

1/2 TAKE 5 candy bar, apple, yogurt, probably more since were eating so early!

 

Gibbit- sorry to hear about the internship not going so well. I know what you mean about it being unpaid and then throwing your schedule off. I developed my ed during my unpaid internship and it was horrible because I never got a lunch break, therefore, it caused me to restrict even easier. I think that maybe you should really analyze if it is worth it, like is this internship going to benefit your career in any way? Or are you just doing it for a little experience? Mine was at the Cancer Foundation for PR and Journalism so I just stayed and hoped for the best, it got better, and now their reference is great, but if I could have done it all over, I'm not sure if I would have stuck with it due to the hours and lack of break for food or what not.

Arguskin- yeah for the bagel...god I really need to try a freakin bagel, like I would rather have mutiple foods for breakfast that add up to more or the same amount of cals then to go grab a bagel, what type to you get that are healthy?

Butterfly- things will get better...just keep eating and making sure you are geting enough and your body will thank you!

Decempt- I think it is funny how we have certain fear foods that are similiar, I really like the idea of adding them in every now and again though. I don't want to be that mom one day that can't take her kid to the bagel shop because she is scared to walk through the front door. And who wants to be freaking out over cake on their own bday forever? I haven't had cake for the past 2 bdays...this one I am chowing out!!

Wistfulxthinking- congrats on the gain!! And buffet, you go! I am sure that your meal was amazing. My family hasn't gone to a buffet in a long time, but my bf took me to a chinese one and I was so overwhelmed, good for kicking eds ***!!!

Theofournay- I love that idea for a game. It makes food fun!! HAA...I really like the ABC idea with eating a food that starts with that letter, like your bfast could be A- apple B- bowl of cereal C- coffee and d-donut haaa..(couldn't think of a D one there!) and then a snack could be E- egg omelet with F- fresh fruit parfait, and lunch could be G- giant sandwich, H- hummus, I- ice cream, and your afternoon snack could be J- juice, K- kettle popcorn, L- larabar, and then dinner could be M- mongolian beef, N- noodles, O- organic veggies (ha), P- pineapple slices, Q- quirky drink!! And then snacks for later.....R- raviolli, S- skittles, T- tea, U- U decide! And late night could be, V- veggies, W- whole wheat bread , X-xtra jelly or pb, Y- yogurt, Z- gett your zzzzz'ss !!

Haa I am such a dork!!

Anyyway, I just had a wonderful pineapple, blueberry, strawberry, with yogurt and cinnamon snack, alongside 2 scoops of betternpb!

Gibbit sorry the internship isn't going so great. I say stick it out for a few days and then if it's still the same get out of it. There's no point staying in something which a. you're not enjoying and b.has no benefits. You might as well go and do something more constructive and fun! Up to you obviously though. Personally havn't experienced the mid-night snacking thing, but if you're waking up hungry it's def a good idea to listen to it. I just have to get up every night to pee!

Theo Loving the alphabet day ideas although z might be a tad tricky! I think it's really good to make things fun, that's why I like cooking, I feel like I'm sort of embracing the gaining a bit more in trying to enjoy the process if that makes sense? Good luck tomorrow, we know there's nothing rationally to be afraid of and why would we want to be irrational? I know you can do it.

Agru and Wistful Yay for positive weight gains!! i gained too, feeling good about it and like I'm becoming a stronger and stronger person. Let's keep it up.

Charlie Thinking I might aim for 6.5 stone (90lbish) to start running again, obviously will make sure I'm eating enough to gain though. I can't wait much longer, serious incentive to keep going with this.

Aussie A thousand congrats for college it sounds fantastic, something you definitely want to get better to enjoy as much as poss. Well done on gaining too, know what you mean about wanting the number to go down but that's not us remember? just sneaky old ed. Pretty sure I'm not gonna have to get to a "healthy" bmi either as I was eating normally and not worrying about food and with periods while classed as "underweight" Will wait for the periods and see though. I'm still gonna stick with 2000 for a while and try and get to that number on hols too, see where I am weightwise when I get back, if I need to increase or not.

Relena Sorry things are tough for you right now. I feel like things have got to get worse to get better. It took me getting reallly really miserable  to realise that I didn't want to live the rest of my life like that and that to do that i would have to give up the ed. I feel like decisions about recovery need to be your own so perhaps if you are at the stage where you truly want to get better than you need to give your mum some more input and talk to her about how you want to go about things.

Butterfly Sorry things are difficult for you too, but think about all the positve gains you are making with weight gain- health, happiness, friendships, life?!!! Isn't that a reason to smile????? You're doing brilliantly sweetie, keep on going with it.

Yay so I weighed in this morning and am up to 84.6lb!!! Woweeeee! That's up 0.6lb from last week and so total gain of 2lb in 2 weeks since I upped the intake. It does seem a lot, and it's pretty scary seeing the numbers going up finally I must admit, but at the same time, it's amazing feeling like I'm actually recovering!!! I'm beating this finally and I want to. I spent months faffing about pretending I wanted to get better, now I do want to and I am!!!! Sorry for getting carried away, but yay my life is returning to it's rightful owner, the real Emma not nasty ed (noname as my Mum and I call him/her/it!)

Anyone have any more advice about how to go about things on hols?

love and hugs xx

Food was:

B: Kid's Innocent smoothie, 35g fruit and nut weetabix minis

S: Ensure plus

L: brown petit pain roll with t pb, lettuce and cherry tomatoes, Activia rhubarb yoghurt.

S1: Dried apricots

S2 Ensure plus

D: mushroom and cheddar souffle omelette with baby carrots, 1 nectarine and 1 pink lady apple.

S: Options hot chocolate and homemade oatmeal-raisin cookie.

 

Whoops sorry forgot the total that's 1925ish.

gibbit- Sorry you aren't liking your internship. That sucks that you can't even get credit for it.. I'm just a kid and know nothing about the working world so I would say quit! If you really hate offices, you should just ditch the internship since it isn't going to help you get a job later, and find something more worth your time. I don't eat in the middle of the night, but I always feel like it. I'll wake up at like 4 and be craving something junky like pop-tarts, but I always just force myself back to sleep. I have a problem with eating when I'm hungry too, eating is just sort of mechanical now. Like "Oh, it's 4:00. Better eat my snack now." But then if I'm hungry at 6:00, I won't let myself eat :\ I'm afraid that I'll eat everything all at once, then "run out of calories" even though my cals should be unlimited now. I'm afraid that I'll never be able to do the listening to my body thing. One day I'll try that!

Be back to post later, my mom is kicking me off now.

yep, the more people I talk to the more it seems this internship is not really for me. It's for PBS and I'm a business major, so it's not really even in my field, it just seemed exciting to work for a tv station at first. And at first it was also ok to put some time into it for no money because it seemed like I'd have an easy semester but I've also taken on a bunch of other responsabilities and I also have to be sure I have enough time to do real work for real money so I can do things like eat and pay for shelter... oy oy oy i don't know what to do!

aqua- I'm usually really rigid about when I need to eat, I eat at certain times whether I'm hungry or not, but then if I'm hungry too soon after a scheduled meal I don't want to eat...I know, it's stupid. That's yet another reason why this internship is really bothering me, it totally threw off my day, but that's something I need to get over. I'm really working on just eating when I'm hungry. hence the eating at 6am lol.

headingup- that's why i wake up too! I can't get through a night without going to the bathroom at least once! I wonder why that is? but then since I'm up I decide to fit in more calories though it's not always out of hunger. That's why last night was strange.

i don't know what to do for dinner! but i'm hungry, so I think i'll start digging through the kitchen now. later I'm actually having friends over to play boardgames, yay!!! I'm a little nervous about that too because i know these girly get togethers tend to involve junky snacking or at least baked goods but I don't ahve anything to feed them right now, at least not that they would like to eat. And if they stay late it will throw off my nighttime snack...ugh I just want to slap some sense into myself sometimes!!

hey hey!

went to subway, ate some food, but it was still difficult to stay involved in the convo, eventho i was full, i was still thinking about food.  sucks bc its deff less than before, but i hate being consumed w thoughts about food.  i do deff feel as tho im making huge strides beating this evil ED daily, and the support and community here really has had a huge part in it!

AQUA-yes, i eat at certain times regardless of being hngry or full, then dont eat at unsheduled times when i am hungry-its awful!

HEADINGUP(EMMA)-wow, i so relate to what you said, i too really feel as if im on way to recovery too, feel great about the gain, and look forward to a hwalthy future!

LINNY-i go to the bagel store-i live near NY so we have huge bakery bagels, and i get wahtever.  the diff in calories btwn diff bagels is negligable.  i want to eat as i see myself eating for the rst of my life.  yes, i need to eat more now bc im trying to gain compared to the future when i maay want to maintain, but ppl eat bagels, pizza, cookies, everyday.  i really dont eat healthy as you can see from my meal plans, didnt grow up in a healthy house, and really dont even know how to go about eating healthy, lol.  i just want to be realistic about life, excercise, food, cooking, do what will realistically fit into my lifestyle in the longrun.  i too have my fears, as i said, pasta, the portion is tiny and im always scared of going hungry once im done, something i need to get over!

mon- (all earlier than normal in an attempt to eat at normal times?)

bagel, pb, apple, cheese~400

roll, cheese sandwich w/lettuce, fage w/ strawberry sauce, baked ruffles cheddar cheese, peach~ 430

~1/4 c.  baskin robbins PB cup ice cream-stomach pains!!!! ~60

subway ham+cheese melt, a few chips, 1/2 cinammon raisin cookie, ~1/3 veg salad, tastes of other sandwiches(negligable) ~500

still really low for the day, planning ~350 more cals, now at 1500, w/ the 350 im at 1850?  eeeek? maybe ill be more hungry sine its only 8 15

1/2 TAKE 5 candy bar, apple, yogurt, probably more since were eating so early!