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Weight Gainers: What did YOU eat today?

I am copying the many times copied thread, "What did you eat today?" in hopes of helping some of those who are just starting to gain and have no clue what to eat. I know that when I began weight recovery, I was eating tons of low-cal foods just because that's what I was used to. I learned the hard way that dense foods are essential to weight gain when you have high caloric requirements (at one point I needed 4500 cal to maintain my weight on BEDREST). Perhaps newbies can get some ideas if we post our weight gain meal plans! Even if you're not gaining anymore, grab an old one and post it!:]
Please note that every body is different and some will need more or less calories than others to gain. This thread is just so that you can get an idea of what you need.
Oh, and yes, I'm breaking the "no calories, no portions" rule, since it is pretty helpful in this case. If you want to post cals/portions you can. I just ask that you don't post if you're not eating enough, though as this is a weight gain thread, I would hope none of you are undereating.;]
I'll start....
Breakfast (875 cal)*

• 1/2 cup oatmeal (150) cooked with
• 1 cup evaporated whole milk (300)
• 1 mashed banana (100)
• 2 tbsp peanut butter (200)
• 1 tbsp ground flaxseed and cinnamon to taste (50) 
• 1 hard-boiled egg (75 cal)

Morning Snack (300 cal)*

• 1/4 cup mixed nuts (200)
• 1/4 cup dried apricots (100)

Lunch (660 cal)*

• 1/4 cup rice cooked in 1 cup chicken stock (300) and
• 1/2 cup canned or cooked chickpeas (145) and
• 1/3 cup shredded cheese (150) and
• 1/4 cup each onion, peppers, and tomato (30) cooked with
• 1 tbsp olive oil and curry powder to taste (120)

Afternoon snack (390 cal)*

• 1 serving baby carrots (35)
• 1/4 cup hummus (155)
• 1/4 cup mixed nuts (200)

Dinner (875 cal)*

• 1 cup of my insane Mac & Cheese recipe (515)
• 2 cups tossed salad (45)
• 2 tbsp rasins (60)
• 2 tbsp sunflower seeds (105)
• 2 tbsp dressing (150)

Evening snack (480)*

• 1 cup plain whole milk yogurt (180)
• 1/2 cup homemade granola (300)

About 3600 calories :]

ALYSHA-yours till underwight according to the bmi tools!  even if you gained more youd only be borderline healthy..  ive seen lots of posts that recovering anorexics should aim for mid to high ranges of bmi to be healthy and for a lesser chance of relapse.  stop weoghing!  play a game w yourself of how long you can go w/o weighing.  move it to a room where its a pian to keep checking.  yea, my body is mute or im like deaf, i dunno.  im like a robot w eating.  i cant make any decisions sometimes, but ussualy having to do w food.  do waht you want for the wknd, waht will be fun/relaxing.  ha, and i also had corn for dinner, soooooooooo good and used to be a FF forever!  same w the burgers and like everything.  food is good!

Agru- GAH am I?! I thought my bmi was something like 19/19.5 so I was okay! But I guess you're right, though.. :( I think if I gained enough to be like a bmi of 22+ I'll probably relapse anyway... just because I feel so huge. Ughh I need to get these thoughts out of my headdddd! And haha, maybe I WILL play a little game with myself, except I have to keep the scale in the same place because my mom weighs herself frequently and she likes it there :P But I'll totally try to avoid it. >< And yeah, I'm the same way. Like, I haven't felt hungry all day, in FACT I haven't felt hungry at ALL for about three weeks, but it's like... I -have- to eat.. so I force down so much food. I feel like none of its helping, but hopefully my metabolism will speed up... stupid thing..    CATCH UP ALREADY! lol!... actually I should probably get in those last 400 cals today, but idk.. I haven't moved all day.. and YESS, corn was a ff of mine too, hehe!It's so good though, it's a very sweet vegetable.. mmm. I opted out of having a burger tonight though (which is what I was supposed to have- lol, sounds like we were eating the same things) and had fish on a bun instead. Food is awesome. :]

cahrliebo;Im sorry i mistook about PEI. From yor post 1615( sorry i dont seem to keep up with all post!) Im sorry you dont feel good. Try camomile tea or hot milk before you go to  bed and read some book in the bed( this works for me, especially textbook!). And if you're interested in aromatherapy, get True lavender essential oil and put a few drops on tissue and put it  in the pillow or use vaporizer. True lavender works on parasympathetis nervous system and helps you relax. Your meals looks good but how about adding more kcal for morning sanck. like full cream yoghurt or museli bar, or PB sandiwich?

arguskin;Im glad i have someone who is similar age as most of people here seems so young! yeh, like I postes before our hunger or apptite is not normal and it will take time to get them back. Until then you have to eat what or how much you should eat to get healthy body and appetite. I make 1 week meal plan as I used to stressed and during lecture all I was thinking was what I should eat that evening. Making pre-meal plan is very helpful as i dont have think about the food all the time and also dont have to go grosery shopping so often as i also make the list of what I get for 1 week melas. Ill keep doing this until i feel i get healthy apptite back and ok to eat "normally". So be patient!!

I have to go to cass,so ill post the reat later!!

SAYURI-thanks for responding! yea, i get nervous seeing the intakes of ppl so much younger than myself and think that maybe they need to eat more bc theyre younger, diff metablisms... can i ask how much youre eating, what your progress has been...? i also used to think about food during class, trying to fall asleep, knowing what ill have makes it much easier altho id love to be able to eat waht i want at that time.

ALYSHA-ha-so funny that we were going to have the same dinner!  yea, now youre about 19 or so for bmi, even if you were at a bmi of 20, thats the very lowest.  im pretty sure that ill eventualy be towards the upper range of the bmi for myself bc thats where i was most of my life, plus, who has time to not eat and excercise for hours everyday, i hope not me, i want a real life!  keep up the great work!

interview earlyyyyyyyyyy tomm-need a job, i sometimes think i dont have one bc i look scarey...ughhhhh

Agru- Okay. :] Yeah, when I started recovery my bmi was 16.5 so I guess I'm doing pretty well. I was at 117lbs before the ED really took off, and even then my bmi was only 22.5 so I was still healthy, but I felt way too large.. I dunno, I think I just have a really tiny bone structure or something. :( And I gain weight on my legs way too easily, hehe. I think, also, next time my mom makes burgers I'm going to have one. Just to kick that damn ed's butt, ha! I want a real life too! :( Thanks, you're doing great too! How many cals are you eating now?

Also: Good luck at the interview!! Y'know employers really shouldn't be looking at your appearance, other than your clothing (y'know, appropriate work attire and all) but I know they still do. It's sad. :( I'm sure you're beautiful though, so don't even worry about it! And I do hope you get that job! :]

alysha- i promise you, when you stop weighing yourself, you will feel so free. i smashed my scale witha sledgehammer in treatment, and i feel so good. i don't want to know what i weigh. it's like asking for a relapse, to me!

breakfast: salome (<---weird, i know), english muffin, PB, apple, milk

snack: gatorade

lunch: fruit snacks, side salad with dressing, salome sandwich, milk

snack: rice krispie treat, fresh berries

dinner: brat on hamburger bun, asian chicken salad (FAMILY PARTY!!), milk

snack: fruit snacks, rice krispie treat

not much variety today with the snacks, but i had school. i was lazy.

ilovechai- I really wish I could. >< It just makes me so anxious not to know. Idk, I guess I'm just not ready to fully recover yet or something :( But I'll keep trying.. I'm gonna try to see how long I can go without weighing myself so maybe that'll help a bit? I'm SO afraid of a relapse><

Hey everyone! quick response post. I went out tonight! Yes, to a bar, and I had fun and talked to people and felt completely involved in the conversations and didn't worry about food or when I was "supposed" to come home and eat my snack because that's what always starts getting to me when I try to go out with friends at night. It was so great!! and my sweet barley and bean stew thing turned out amazing. If any of you have had that middle eastern dessert called noah's pudding, it was very similar to that plus I added sweet potato. And now I'm having soy delicious cherry nirvana ice cream with extra frozen cherries mixed in and some graham crackers to make sandwiches with it

alysha- yes, stop weighing!! is there anything stressing you out right now taht's not weight or food related? I know I started logging calories again last week because I was stressed and now I feel like I"m stuck :\ but I need to stop, and you need to stop weighing yourself, it only makes you feel bad. You're not big by any means. Keep working on fixing your metabolism and more importantly being happy with yourself. You are not a number!

agru/sayuri- I'm 22!! I also get kind of worried since so many people here need the calories for growing plus get so much more activity with all the school sports. Pre- ed my bmi was always in the 18 range anyways, my weight was stable and I had no issues iwth weight or food so I'm really just aiming for that weight since my body seemed to like it.

agru- good luck on the interview! Why are all these places so far away? that sucks, I hate driving. what kind of jobs are you applying for? I'm sure you're still beautiful and so well qualified they won't care. Yeah the betternpb as just out of curiosity, I'm going to save it for when my weight is higher because I need the real stuff right now. And real is much much better, but the chocolate one is pretty good and mostly just tastes like chocolate fudge.

charliebo- wow that sounds so nice! yoga relaxes me to an extent, but my brain never really stops working. I don't really know how to relax :\ I think I really want to go get a massage!

whenifly- you need more fat than that, people recovering usually have cut fat out of their diets for a while so your body really needs to get some of that back. I think it also depends on the kinds of fats you get, my fat intake is always way above 100 grams, but sat fat is much lower. I'll get usually 30-40% fats, though its gotten almost to 50! :X but, again, most of that will come from olive oil and nuts so it's really good for me.

hmm i think i'm still hungry so I'm gonna see what else I can fit in for today. I stopped logging earlier today but when I did I was already over 3000 so today's is probably around 3500! woohoo! I'm back in recovery mode!

Happy eating everyone :)

Gibbit- OOoh, sounds like you had an AWESOME time. :] I'm glad you had fun! Also, yesss, I need to stop so badly. >< I'm really going to try. Though I feel crappy even if I don't weigh myself, because then I get anxious about how much I really DO weigh and I keep thinking that I've probably gained 10lbs and I always feel disgusted with myself... I actually am very stressed out, just by the fact that I'm going back to school in less than a week, my boyfriend is totally out of the picture along with 90% of my friends.. so I feel like I have nothing, and this year will be the same as last... bahhh I hate life right now. :( It'll get better though, I know it will. I was planning on taking a nice long hot bath tonight! :] As long as I can find the plug for my tub.. lol.. if not I'm going to be sad :( but I'm excited for bagel-shopping tomorrow, hah! Agru convinced me to buy bakery bagels so now I'm gonna go buy a whole bunch and enjoy every last delicious bite of them :D Have a great night!! I'll be back on in a bit if I can't sleep. Hahaha.

Today was my first day back at school! It is gonna start getting harder to eat right now that I am getting busy, but I am gonna try and keep it up.

Breakfast- Whole foods apple cinnamon oatmeal
Clementine Orange

Lunch- 2 slices Ezekial (sp?) bread
Cream cheese
Blueberry jam
Ready pac Snack Pac thing with apples, grapes, granola, and dipping yogurt
Chocolate mint pudding

After school snack- Angel food cake flavored frozen yogurt
Cake cone

Before dinner snack- Chocolate peanut butter crunch Clif bar

Dinner- 2 large slices Wolfgang Puck Margherita Pizza
Watermelon
1/4 Hansons Soda

Dessert- 1 Simply Dipped (No nuts! Yay!) vannilla Nestle Drumstick

agru- i do eat what i like. but a lot of what i like is fruits and vegetables. i would rather have asparagus or a nectarine than a cookie majority of the time. i used to really love peanut butter but i stopped eating it a while back because it was a 'forbidden food' and now that i've started eating it again i really don't care for it as much. it's okay. i used to eat it by the spoonful!! but maybe that's just because i was so undernourished my body craved fatty things.

anyway i don't avoid fats. i just don't usually eat them because my favorite foods are pretty low in fat. so i try to think of ways to add fat. i want to make sure i'm getting enough that's why i asked. : )

gibbit- thank you very much for the info. i am definitely not getting enough. i thought 25-40 grams was good!!! haha. wow, i was way off. look like i'm going to buy some soy ice cream, pistachios and avocados next time i go to the store. : ) and congrats on 3,500

hello there!

how is everybody doing? today, i'm having two classes in a row! starting 11:15 am till about 7 pm..so i won't be having any snacks or lunches coz they don't allow it..EVERYTHING IS PUSHING ME TO RELAPSE. I was just thinking, mom stopped buying high cals food, she says i'm fine and healthy and FATTER than before, my dance class won't take me in coz i nedd to lose weight, my classes are all in funny times and i'm not allowed to eat anythin for more than half the day! by the way, as i still go in the kids' charts, i'm at a healthy weight and even if i got down to 94 or 92 i'm still healthy! i can't believe it..so even before recovery and at my lowest i was healthy??

breakfast: 600 cals

-dried peach&apricot  special k with hazelnuts and raisins + skimmed milk +2 cookies

snack:100 cals

-fruit juice -no added sugar

dinner:500 cals -plan

-1/2 grilled chicken breast+ 2 cookies

that's WAY LOW..but i was unbelieveably stuffed for some reason and couldn't eat another thing, i tried to force food into my mouth but i got nauseas and stopped :( mom says i might be sick that's way i have no appetite these days..

BAD BAD ME..couldn't stop myself from cycling today and ended up burning 200 calories...am i relapsing?!

aquaev: Glad school went well. Can you snack on the almonds as you walk in between classes? Or add them to your morning oatmeal or double up on the pb? As for the cliques, most of the popular girls I went to high school are now working divorced and working at dead-end jobs. I grew up in Seattle near Microsoft headquarters. The 'nerdy" kids all make big bucks working for Bill Gates. Ha ha!

psychoj: Welcome home! Excellent job on the fear foods! I am really in no place to talk, as you are much further along in recovery than me, but it worries me that you don't want to increase your breakfast because then you might risk "using up" your calories early in the day. If you get hungry later than your body is telling you it needs food. Don't let the ED voice creep back in!

relena: Way to go with throwing away the scales. You are only 15, why do you have such long classes? If there is no time for you to eat for that many hours it puts your recovery in jeopardy. I suggest changing your schedule around. An education will not do you any good if you are ill.

peanut butter: My hands are up!

ilovechai: I NEVER EVER weigh myself either. I prefer ignorance!

agruskin: Best of luck on the job interview! I'll keep my fingers crossed.

sayuri-mio: No apology necessary. It is hard to keep track of all the people on here. Thank you for your suggestions. I always read before bed and usually only get a couple of pages in before I'm out. I just can't stay asleep. As for the morning snack, I wish I could eat more then. For some reason, it is my least hungry time of day. I am hoping to train my body to be hungry then by gradually increasing my snack.

gibbit: Does the tea you suggested make you full? I used to drink tea every morning but stopped because it was filling me up.

I did not do well yesterday. Another migraine and a lot of nausea. I felt as though I might lose my afternoon snack. My dinner calories were too low but I had to stop half-way through and rest before continuing because it didn't feel as though it would stay down. Crap! Why is this happening? Am I eating too much? I don't really believe that to be the case because I still need to gain weight and my main focus is on the long-term effects. I want to repair my metabolism and avoid any further physical damage. I know I'm an old fart but 2500 doesn't seem like an unreasonable amount. Any ideas? I don't want to question myself.

Yesterday:

breakfast: nonfat yogurt with shredded wheat n' bran and almonds
Ezekiel bread w/ almond butter
orange, blueberries (540)
snack: plain nonfat soy milk and a plum (105)
lunch: veggie soup and pea puree w/ olive oil
brown rice
salad w/ turkey, eggplant hummus, and sunflower seeds (490)
snack: banilla shake (unsweetened vanilla soy milk, oj, yogurt, banana, prunes)
raisin cinnamon mochi "puff" bread w/ peanut butter
kiwi (555)
dinner: red lentil dal w/ olive oil
tuna
veggies and sunflower seeds in lemony hummus sauce (380)
snack: nonfat yogurt w/ mixed berries
watermelon (280)

total = 2350

Relena- Not to be rude, but if you're looking for justification, you will not find it here. what do you mean they don't allow snacks? as in not in the classroom? because they can't expect you to go that long without food and you shouldn't try it either. Bring a lunch and eat it quickly between classes, I'm sure you get at least 5-10 minutes. If not bring a bunch of smaller snacks to make it easier. I've always had to sneak food into my classes and kept it under the desk, or talk to  your teachers and let them know that for  health reasons you'll need to eat something but you'll be discreet and won't interrupt the class. I'm sorry your mom isn't helping you at all, she should be more supportive, and this dance studio as I've said several times is a BAD place for you. Keep in mind that the kids bmi charts have to take into account prepubescent kids as well, so of course as you're maturing into a woman you will weigh more and transition to the adult ones. Especially for females, I know I was pretty much done growing by 14. You will also weigh more than you did before your ED because you've grown, and will continue to grow so expect to weigh more. You need to eat more whether you are full or not though I find it hard to believe that you're full of of half a chicken breast. If you look for ways to justify not eating you will find them, but you'll just end up right where you started and you'll have to do this all over again...or not :\ We all know where this leads and I hope, and I'm sure everyone that cares about you hopes that that does not happen to you. Take care of yourself please!!!

alysha- see! you can identify the source of stress, just like I can, and it has nothing to do with how much you weigh. This realization has really helped me, and though I might slip up for a few days, that's ok. You've been hurt so allow yourself to wallow for a few days because you deserve to, but then you also deserve to pick yourself up and feel happy again. Bagels sound soo good right now! Enjoy them! And I know I'm pretty far from Canada, but I'll be your friend :)

hey guys hows everyone doing 2day? im doing well actually....like i faced a bit of a dilema today but i got thru it an pushed the ed thoughts to the back of my mind. see i had the choice to go out with mum 2day for her bday shoppin for a while but then i wudnt be home for my lunch at 1.20 which is the time i ALWAYS have it at an i get really panicky if i dont eat at certain times cause im so rigid in my routine ( ocd thing tryin to work on it ..ive gotten better but still not ok about being too flexible) anyway i decided to go an challenge myself knowin i wud be pushed outta my comfort zone an have to eat at a differnt time. and by the time we were homw it was 2.15 and at first i was like ok im not gonna bother with lunch its too late but then i was like ok no this is the ed an i need to beocme flexible so im gonna push myself an il be ok....time is only a number . so i ate lunch later than usual an i survived lol :) so in a way i sorta conquered a fear an i jus need to keep pushin myslf to get outta my routine.

oh an i weighed in today....up to 39.5 kg so half a pound since last week...so that means in 2.5 weeks ive gained 1 pound an gone from 39 to 39.5 :) an at first i was upset even tho im tryin to gain but i talked myself outta it cause i need to get used to seein the number go up an i pretended to be happy an the im ok now with it :) i WANNA look healthy....not like a kid from a concentration camp.

like i was in teh health shop today buyin some yummy nut bars an the guy at the counter was starin at me so much an so obvously an then said somethin about my low weight to another member of staff...uughh so god danm rude...its like hello idiot if your gonna talk about someone infront of them at least whisper!!

b-cereal and milk-350 cals

s-maple syrup granola bar an fruit salad-300 cals

l-sanwhich with eggwhite, ham, tureky, relish an sweetcorn-300 cals

trail mix thing-100 cals

tonite its mums b day an i think itll jus be chicken from the bbq and salad but im gonna try have ice cream an a waffle for dessert wjhile everyone else has cake an thatll probs be 150 cals for dinner an 150 cals for desert. im gonna try add more almonds into my intake too.

 il comment an reply to others later i gotta get off the comp for a while my bro needs it for school

xxxxx

im feeling like crud, so low rt now, like every 4 little word in the dictionary and want to cry.  i got so lost for my interview, had to call them and was 40 mins late.  the interview was really intense, i was like sweating and felt like they were staring at me, at my arms, i felt so self conscious and was talking like a million miles a min.  im so sad rt now, feel so low...didnt weigh this morning eventho its my normal weigh in day, havent gone to the bathroom bc my AM schedule was thrown off from being in the car forever, and now i probably wont be able to for days until i decide to finally take a mild lax-what a freakin waste, feel like ill never get a job..ill try and respond--

AUSSIE-great job getting out of routine-keep it up+congrats

WHENIFLY-i used to think that i liked fruit more than ice cream etc, but then i allowed myself to like other foods and i see that i can have both, esp since cals in fruit+veg are negligable.  i think it may be the ed talking? good luck!

GIBBIT-wow, so cool you were a ble to break from routine, go out w friends, and not freak about getting home for your snack etc, howd you do it?  awesome and im jealous! ha

ILOVECHAI+FLTCHIK-yay for kid meals and school lunches and stuff, it all sounds great and i hope your years go great!

ALYSHA-thanks for the vote of confidene about the interview, i felt like a freak tho.  yea, burgers+bagels, very good!

wed-

t bagel, pb, apple, cheese (in car) ~400

cereal, milk, trail mix ~200

blahhhhhhhhhh

Hey guys! Comments are going to be short and sweet today because I have to leave in a little bit.'

Thanks to anyone who reassured me about school!

agru- No, I don't think I can actually eat in class. But maybe I could go in the bathroom and eat! Some of my teachers are pretty old, so they probably wouldn't notice anyway though.

gibbit- See my post to agru! Ooooh you're so sneaky! Ff yogurt  means fat free yogurt? And I used to live off Better n' PB before, but now it tastes awful to me. I think even after you maintain you'll be able to have some real PB in your diet! As long as you don't over do it haha. And soy delicious is really good! The cookies n' cream kind is delish. And glad you fun out tonight! Wait- tonight? Don't you live in the US?

alysha- Look at my post to agru also! You need to think rationally. It is really impossible to you to gain 35083469073478053456 lbs in a day! And I think ditching the scale would be a good idea. Could you get your mom to hide it?

relena- I sort of agree with gibbit.. no one here is trying to be mean, but your posts are a bit triggering so maybe that's why you don't get too many replies. I find it a bit hard to believe that you can't eat anything from 11-7. Teachers can't expect a school of teenagers to go eight hours without eating! I get a half hour lunch every day. And also, BMI is crap. It doesn't take in to account how developed a kid is, or how much muscle they have. I'm 5'7", and technically I could be 100 lbs and still be "healthy". But I know that I still looked like a skeleton at 100 lbs! If you get full with a half a chicken breast, how need to be eating more dense foods. Try switching to whole milk, and have juice with any meal you DO eat. When you get home from classes, you could have a big shake made with premium ice cream, a banana, and whole milk and easily add another 500 calories. Also, you could try talking to your teachers about how you need to eat for medical reasons, if you really don't get any other opportunity to eat. Once again, I'm not trying to lecture you, but you're kind of asking for a relapse right now. Hope things get better for you.

charliebo- Thanks! Heh, I don't think I'm destined to work for Bill Gates! Technology bores me beyond belief! Sorry you didn't have enough yesterday. I think 2500 is great, if a little on the low side. I think that the baseline minimum for weight gain is 2500 actually. Try adding some juice or milk with meals so you don't think about it too much.

Okay.. so not so short posts! I'm so tired! School always makes me feel really exhausted. Not much to say, except for that I'm leaving for the clinic today. Therapist and pediatrician, ick. I sure hope that running around the school to all my different classes hasn't made me lose weight! Well, actually, that's a lie. I still do hope that it did, because I still love knowing that I've lost weight. But I do know that if I lose anything, I'll just have to eat more until I gain it back. So what's the point? Hope you all had great days!

hey!

I'm back home..listen guys, the classes i have are not at school, but in different places! so they don't really know whether i have other classes before or after! i also can't believe that if they were at school kids will have to go 5-6 hours no eating! but i really can't change the schedule, coz my parents are the ones who drive me there, coz it's very far away, and THEY can't change their work schedules either to fit any new ones...it's not like i DO LIKE not eating or anything, i do freak out if i don't eat anything for 3-4 hours, but HONESTLY GUYS I CAN'T DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT!

i DO NOT want to relapse, coz i look at my old pics and i know i look awful and sick..i do not want to be back there..my parents have given me so much trust which i can't fail, they trusted me for getting better and taking good care of myself and my health..i'm happy that they really trust me, how can i fail them? coz i know they'd do anything to see me smile truly again and beat my illness..and if they don't really KNOW how to encourage me instead of triggering me, that's fine, i'll cope with it, they're no psychiatrists and it's enough to me that i know they  love me...

and again, i do have bad days as well, who doesn't? but i really try to see the positive stuff from recovery and hang on to it. this forum is wonderful, and you guys are really helpful and supportive! i'm sorry if any of my posts are triggering to some or aren't as motivating as yours...i'm really sorry, i didn't realize that! i won't be posting again but on this forum to see everybody's progress, i don't want to make you angry at me, and i'm not upset by the way, i know you guys are being supportive and just giving your advice, which is amazing.

by the way i decided to start this recovery thing after i've been reading this forum.. a REAL result of your motivation. i really really thank you guys, this probably saved my life to know that i'm not alone in this and there is somebody else in this world that know what i'm going through...it was the only thing that gave me hope to get better, get my life back and live life!

sorry  sorry sorry this took soooo long! wish everyone all best! good luck and have a great day..

bye.

Relena~

Yo yo yo wassup something something fo-shizzle (yes, white m/c girl trying to be gangsta I know....actually I saw some kid wearing a t-shirt today that said 'Who the **** is D&G?'and what offended me was not the swear word but the grammar - surely d&G is plural?

Relena: I don't know what to say, except I wish you so much luck and love, and you know we're all here to support you, right?

Aquaev: I'm sorry, I don't know how old you are so I don't know what sort of classes you take...but all the way through college (16-18) I ate my way through classes, and the same at Uni too!  When I lived on the continent people actually read newspapers through classes, so I'm sure eating wouldn't be that bad!  I know what you mean, wanting to lose weight but not wanting to, then feeling bad about wanting too - sometimes I think we must just lose weight through the emotional stressing!

Agru: I'm sorry you had a bad day...we all have them...will you feel better when you have a poo?  Maybe so...it's so funny how little tiny things can throw you completely off, but we're  all here for you!

So what does everyone do/hope to do?  I'm at Uni - going into my last year studying history an italian, actually it was my result that spurred me to recover - I only got a 2:1, **** that for a final result!  Every bite brings me closer to life....

Anyway, I had a better day today...I threw the mothership of all tantrums at my afternoon snack time, with a capital T which was AWESOME and felt really good - I slammed doors and EVERYTHING, then I went to yoga and drank two glasses of champagne and now I feel Much Much better!  Also....I'm going to see DAVID TENNANT tomorrow in HAMLET which is my FAVOURITE shakespeare apart from maybe the Henrys HURRAH!

Having said that, haven't had such a good day food wise as missed breakfast because had to get weighed in at the doctors...

Snack: apple

Lunch: tofu and black bean stirfry with noodles

Snack: roasted red pepper tortilla with paprika and cream cheese

Dinner: Veggies, backed potato and and baked beans, and I put marmite in the baked beans and seriously guys it is SO good, I'm perhaps more addicted to marmite than I am to dun dun dunnnn peanut butter....maybe it's a brit thing?

Pudding: ben and Jerrys chunky monkey ice cream

Snack: not sure, gotta make like 1000 calories, considering retiring to bed with the pot of peanut butter and some token breadsticks for dipping.....

Also: tomorrow we're going to Hamlet so we're booked into Carluccios for dinner about 5....completely going to screw my eating schedule up...any suggestions?

George Bush, Gael Garcia Bernal (DROOL) and my mother walk into a bar.........OUCH!

hahahaha

this probably sounds really ana, but is 23cm large for upper arm circumference, and 65cm for waist??? I'm really paranoid, and I know I've gained alot of weight under my arms and around my triceps...... could that be potentially boob-migrating weight (excuse the crudeness!)

 relena - what classes do you do? are they like arithmatic or dance or..... sorry, i'm a bit lost! and mabe you could eat in the car...

oh, kcals - 1000 today, but 4000 yesterday

I'm really pissed off, the scales at the clinic are lighter then my ones at home, so according to them i still need o gain 2 lbs and i thought i was mainting *********** Makes my life so much bloody harder!!!!!!!