about the "weight gainers - what did you eat today?" thread.... sorry this wil annoy

okay.

im gonna say something. it might (as many of my posts do) annoy people. there are posts - namely dekkos - who are not eating the required calories for weight gain. this post is going a long time and if you look at the original missmagill was eating 4500. she specifically asked that if you werent eating a gain amount that you dont post here.

now dekkos i know people will flock to your aid and say "oh you're getting there and doing great" but the fact is this: you are underweight and suffering an eating disorder. you ask tonnes of questions and seek support. if you are not prepared to do what so so many people have asked and eat 2500 or 3000 if you continue to exercise, then you need to be prepared for ppls patience to run out.

this is a weight gain forum. not an eating disorder forum... though many of us hang out here. i think you are doing tremendously well from where you were but i think you need to push harder and get the cals up.

this was hard to post coz i know il get a severe backlash. but if this is the support for ed's, then in an ip situation there would be a zero tolerance attitude and i think the same attitude needs to applied here

I'm not backlashing you.

In fact, I'm behind you 110%.

People recovering from ED's are some of the strongest people I know. Note, I said RECOVERING- that means eating the necessary amount, not just posting and posting of what you want to do/what you're going to do. Posting what you ARE doing (and doing the right thing too).

Honestly, I see things black and white in ED's: you're either making an effort or not. Making an effort means gaining weight-> that is recovery.

It's tough- I've been there (and am NEVER going back). But, you know what? I did it, and because I did, there's no reason you can't.

Fidget; I have been telling dekkos the same thing. Three times in fact. The minimum caloric requirement for males gaining weight is 3000.  I've gotten the impression that he doesn't care. He has ignored me every time and not even acknowledged what I say.

*sigh*

When lalabanana was a regular here, you can best be sure that she would be kickin' butt.

yeah.. i feel we need a lala... perhaps il ask 2b mod!!! dont worry.... im jokin. the weight gain forum'd be deserted

i agree, i dont think people should be posting unless they have hit 2500, because then when i compare my intake to theirs, it's discouraging because i feel like i have eaten way too much. that's why there are rules and i wish people would follow them grr

Fidget, I agree. I stopped posting the food I ate cos it felt like others wern't eating properly and I felt my ED thoughts coming back eek!

I wasn't really counting cals (always over 2500 though) but people posting their food like they know the exact cals in everything freaked me out a bit, I mean there I was jotting down my latte and carrot cake snack while someone above was seperating out the different amount of calories in their wheatgerm, fage and lentil thing - I think part of gaining with disorders is getting OVER these thoughts, not obsessing now obsessing about what you eat even more.  Sorry if I've offended, just my own exp here.

It was certainly a rule a while back - and as far as I'm concerned, still is now. Though I have to admit, when I first started posting on that thread - back in what - October 08? I posted menus of about 1500-1600 because I wasn't really, well, that committed to recovery at the time.

I have refrained from posting my menus for a while because tbh, some of the things posted there seem SO below what I eat that it feels a little.. well, not triggering, but just disheartening?

Re: Dekko - while I agree that 3000 is the minimum for males and he NEEDS TO GET THERE ASAP *nudge nudge, shove shove ;-)*, in all fairness he has come a long way in only a couple of weeks (I think I'm right in saying that?) - it took me over 3 months to build up to 2000 calories and that was WITH a medical team threatening hospital behind me as well! And he's by NO means the only one so I don't think it's really fair to name names. Don't shoot :)

But yeah, maybe it's time to delete that thread as a whole and start a new one? It's pretty long now, and I know I've certainly posted things in there from times I'd like to forget about.. I think part of the problem is new posters read through almost the whole thing before posting their menus, from the time when the 2500/3000 rule wasn't in place, and that's why they do it (partly, anyway.)

Ha, Fidget, you+me both as Mods, there wouldnt be a single post here!

But, think about it, how did we all start posting here, by spending time reading and lurking on the forums, seeing others at diff stages of recovery and feeling inspired, seeing hope, help, that there is a way out.  think of all the ppl out there reading these posts and thinking "ok, just need to get to 1200 or 1500 calories and ill be ok"- NO, NOT the case, false advertising just like posting about excercising while sick, YES, SICK, Mentally AND Physically SICK!!!!!!!!!!!!  do you realize how rediculous it is to EXCERCISE while underweight, WHAT is the point????  STOP and THINK!!!!!

you may be in recovery, taking thos steps and what not bc recovery IS a process, make your own post w/ a question or what not but posting on a thread w/ specific requirements touting that youre doing the rght thing when youre not is not only harming YOURSLEF but also countless others.  dont be so selfish.

me selfish... is that directed at me??? couldn figure out!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Fidget

the ppl posting and saying theyre recovering when theyre anything but, posting sub-recovery meal plans advertising to the other ppl reading a false recovery, those are the selfish ppl

sorry for any confusion!!

oh right!!

....... b-l-u-s-h-i-n-g!!!!

Dude, if Agru and Fidget were both mods, they'd kick some serious ED butt (not that they don't do it now).

I think rather than deleting the entire thread, it would be better to just lock it and start a new one. 

i agree with that. yeah, when i started i was definitely one of the stalkerish people who read everything and never posted.the 4000+ calories was really motivating. 3000+ was really motivating, too, as well as seeing people conquer their fear foods and be praised for that. but now that i'm eating so much more, it's sometimes triggering to read people's posts who eat less than 3000 or 2500 calories. worse for me, personally, is when people avoid their fear foods- milk, cheese, and egg products with fat in them, mainly- and post egg whites, ff milk, etc day after day. i know this is recovery and it's impossible to be perfect all at once, but we also need to remember that this thread is meant to offer dense food ideas and be encouraging to those of us who have very high caloric needs. so yeah, i'd say lock it and start a new one. : )

I agree that only people eating the required amount of calories should be allowed to post. After all, the name of the thread is "weight gainers - what did you eat today?" NOT "people with eating disorders! What did you eat today?"

Kinda implies you need to be eating enough to be gaining weight, huh

*waves banner - "Fidget and Agruskin for mods!"*

Hi everyone, I'm new to the weight gainers forum. I am trying to gain weight since dealing with various medical problems (many female related). Anyway, I find the "what did you eat today?" thread really helpful and inspiring, so I 've been reading and posting for the past week. I'm trying to eat around 2500 a day, about 500-700 more than I have been. I'm not recovering from ED, but I have a tremendous amount of respect for people on the forum so that is why I'm asking if it's a problem that I'm posting there? It's highly unlikely I'll be posting 3000+ calorie meal plans, and I don't want to trigger anyone or make people uncomfortable.

hey pitt-girl! sorry to hear about your poor health and hope that you are well on the road to recovery. 2500 is recommended for weight gain for females. 3000 for men. i dont think anyone will feel offended or put out of you make the 2500 mark.

i think our comments applied particularly to ed sufferers - because anorexia or bulimia cause the deliberate restriction of food. the disorder is deceptive and sufferers will use any excuse to not eat the required amount of food. even though they are hungry - starved for it. it is likely that if there wasnt a stamped out amount of cals written out for the weight gain forum then amounts would keep decreasing and the weight gain forum would turn into a competition ground for "who could eat the lowest"

you're most welcome here. its probable that you'll need 2500 to gain. i wish you every success with it. post away and ask all your questions. we just needed to put the foot down about the high attendance of ed sufferers here - and we need to ensure that the motivation is pro recovery :)

pittgirl88- Please post if you want! Just meet the 2500 guideline! Correct me if I'm wrong, but the only requirement on posting menu's is to hit at least 2500 (for female). There are quite a few days when I could post (I'm maintaining), but I choose not to because then I would have to count and I hate counting... I know I'm in a "range" of calories per day and just go with it as my body dictates.

Many people (females) DON'T need over 2500 to gain, many need 4000 to gain- it's all individual, and, as long as it's 2500 (and you're not abusing it and actively showing your losing weight on it) than it should be fine.

fidget and tryatri - Thanks for your responses!

I will definitely only post when I hit over 2500. I've only started trying to gain for a week, so I'm not even quite sure how much it's going to take me to gain yet! I've found all of you incredibly open and helpful and hopefully we will all meet our goals of optimal health - the most important thing there is!

I remember when lala was about and that post was strict you definately had to meet at least the 2500 and it was it great, it made me feel happier about what I was eating because I saw others aiming for that as well. At times whenever you see a post with less on it, it does get a bit frustrating.

I think I`ll stop posting what I eat up, I do meet at least 2500 but I take in some of my calories through supplement drinks so maybe that then makes the rest of my day look less than what it is and maybe that annoys people. I would just like to assure you anytime I do post its always when Ive met the min. Im a bit to repetitive as well perhaps.

Betty - I'm in a similar boat as you! I stopped posting my food diary because I get thousands of calories through supplements/ overnight feeding and only about 2000 through actual food... I don't have an ED but I don't eat an enormous amount either, day to day, so it's not a realistic example to post my regular meals and then "oh, and 1 litre of high calorie feed" which most people aren't really in the position to do, and it wouldn't be a very good way to recover from an ed anyhow.

That said, I do like to see what people eat solely through food as it motivates me a bit to keep up the eating, and hey, always looking for healthy ways to add calories, that way, I will hopefully reduce the feeding and keep my weight on naturally!

Like many of you.. I get annoyed reading posts that show a limited cal intake. Sometimes I see menus that look like the way I ate when I was dieting (healthfully) before my ed. This is a GAINERS forum people!

But I think anyone who meets that minimum, including people who use supplements, should post. There isn't only one way to meet your caloric needs- everyone should have a chance to share.

So Laura, Smash (what's an overnight feed, btw?), keep posting!

And sorry I haven't posted for a while guys. I've been busy, and admittedly, not keeping track of my cal intake as much.