Weight loss, friends, and family

Okay, since this is the first time I have posted I just want to say hi. Im 21 5'5 and 200lbs. Now 190lbs.

Now that that is taken care of, lets get to the real issue. I recently lost 10lbs, and i am VERY happy.(its the first time i have ever really stuck to a diet). While I am happy with my weight loss succsess, my freinds are unsupportive.(one in paticular, Unfortunatly shes engaged to my brother so theres no getting rid of her.) She and I work togather and attend the same college. Since the start of my weight loss she has proceded to tell my family, coworkers, and friends that I am either A. Bulimic or B. a drug user.

For the first time in my life I am succeding at loosing weight. Why cant she be happy for me. It feels like she is downplaying my success. If you were in this situation what would you do, does anyone have any similar stories.

PS she is also overweight! Could it be a jealousy issue?

She sounds like a miserable piece of work.... not sure 'friend' is an apt description.  In Bambi, Thumper Rabbit's mum had wisely told him 'if you can't say something nice, don't say nothing at all'.   Some people are just plain old rude if they haven't grasped that.  No class.

I'll assume that you're losing weight sensibly the 'CC way' with healthy-eating, portion-control (calorie-counting) and exercise?  If that's the case, then you can't be accused of having an eating disorder or using drugs.  If you were doing something stupid like trying skipping meals and popping pills, they'd have a point of course.

What would I do...?  LOL!  I'm afraid I'm not a very nice person and I'd probably have to respond with a little nasty name-calling or overt crowing.  "I'm so pleased because I've lost another lb this week!  Why don't you have a go at getting slimmer?  Your bum looks even more enormous than normal in those pants...' 

You could also kill her with kindness... invite her to go for that walk with you, to look at your fitness magazine, etc...  Misery loves company, so just be extra happy around her.  She'll get tired of you, and no one will think you're on drugs.  

Some people have very odd reactions to other people's weight loss.  I imagine jealousy and envy are playing a big part.  You could try having a serious talk with her and ask her flat out why she is trying to sabotage you when it's so important to you to get healthy.  Remind her how much hard work you are putting in.  It sounds like she wants to believe honest weight loss isn't possible, because that makes it easier for herself to do nothing about it.  But even that might not change anything.  She sounds very bitter and belittling to me.  I hope the rest of your friends and family aren't listening to her nonsense.

I have a friend like that- she's thin,blonde and accepts me when Im fat and miserable. God forbid I should go on a diet or try to change my eating habits! A couple of weeks ago we were going home from running-me powerwalking- and she said somehting about seeing me the previous day. She thought it was me, looked like me just really, really big. But you know, she looked like you and I couldn't decide if it was you or not,but she was huge, you know,very fat. Yep, she actually said that, repeating the she was twice as big as you remark. Hm, with friends like this who needs enemies?

I think friends can be jeolous because you are doing something right, you are making your life better and of course as the weight goes down your self-confidence goes up. Now that's something hard to bear, for god's sake, the plump,chubby or fat girl becoming more and more attractive ? No way! Ignore her, look happy and cheerful and one day ask her whether she would want to lose a couple of pounds because she looks a bit, well, chubby?

Sorry but I just have to ask this, since you never mentioned it, and everyone else just assumed you did: Have you openly discussed the changes in your life with her? Because if you haven`t, she might be genuinely concerned and assuming something serious has happened, especially if she is aware of your dieting history. (you say you have never before 'stuck with a diet', which leads me to believe you have yo-yo-ed before, and maybe tried your hand at fad diets)

If, however, she already knows the details of what you are doing, then I think this

Original Post by plaidpooka:

It sounds like she wants to believe honest weight loss isn't possible, because that makes it easier for herself to do nothing about it.

is spot on.

This might sound cruel, but some people actually enjoy the company of an overweight person in order to look slimmer by comparison. Much easier than making any sort of effort to become healthier themselves. I am very inclined to believe your so-called friend is one of those people.

The best way to handle her, as she is clearly going to be around for a while, is to just ignore her rudeness and be extra happy and proud of every new milestone you reach. She will be good for practice, as along your weight loss journey you are bound to stumble upon some more unsupportive people.

If you really want to taste a bit of sweet revenge, gi-jane and christinadonovan gave some excellent tips.

And btw, congrats for losing those first pounds and here`s to many more to come, or, rather, go, the healthy way!