Weight Recovered issues

I did it. I reached a BMI of 20- putting me at 120-122 pounds (depending on when I weigh) at 5'6. I've maintained this for a couple weeks now. My heart rate and blood pressure are completely normal. I slowly decreased my 2500-3000 cal diet to around 1800-2100 per day, and it seems to be working.

But I have some questions:

Firstly, I still don't have my period. I'm getting really frustrated and upset with myself. I've spent the last year of my life without it, and I just want to be a normal, fertile 18 year old girl again! Help!

Secondly, my hair. I know I probably sound vain complaining about my hair 24/7, but it's still thin and dry and brittle. It still sheds somewhat, but doesn't come out in clumps like it used to. I just looked at some old pictures of myself, and I almost cried looking at how nice my hair used to be. I just started taking a prenatal vitamin every night, in the hope that it might help.

Thirdly, my hunger levels are like GONE. I'm barely ever hungry. I eat 2000 cals because I know I should, but I want to be able to listen to my body and eat intuitively, which I can't!

And fourthly, and I'm ashamed to admit, the top concern in my mind right now: my current body shape. This is not my ED talking here. Seriously, all my weight came on as fat, with a lot of it staying in my stomach/love handles/lower back area. I really debated including this, because I DON'T want to scare anyone out of gaining weight. But, I don't know what to do. Is it possible that my muscles seriously deteriorated while I was restricting, and now all of my weight is fat or something? What do I do?

That leads me to my last concern. While I was gaining, I remained EXTREMELY sedenetary. I pretty much put myself on bedrest. I spent the summer reading, on the internet, watching movies/tv. The most activity I did was walking out to the car when my friends would come pick me up, or at the most walking around the mall for an hour once in a while.  I really feel like I am extremely out of shape now. The other day I had to run to catch the bus, and my heart was racing! And I'm so weak- I bought some dumbbells to try and start lifting weights, but I barely use them because I'm so discouraged at how hard it is. I just know that if I got on a treadmill, I wouldn't be able to run at all. (Also, could my lack of activity have contributed to how the weight came back on?)

I know everyone (myself included) hates when people leave these long posts with questions that imply the desire to restrict. Let me just reiterate that I am incredibly dedicated to being healthy, and have no desire to revert back to my old ways. I'm just confused, and need some answers!

Is it possible that instead of reducing your calories, you should have kept eating 2500-3000 (would probably help keep your appetite up, improve your hair, and hopefully allow your period to come back), and just slowly upped your activity level (some cardio and some weights), to regain fitness?

In my, completely un-knowledgeable about recovery, view - that seems like it would help a lot of the issues you are having.

What you should do is start lifting some weights! I am currently 5'9'' and 112 pounds and i want to put my weight on in a way that i know is going to make me happy in the long run so i have been going to the gym and lifting weights 3x a week. Now I am not suffering or recovering from an ED. Muscle weights more then fat anyways and i don't want all my weight gain to be fat so try lifting some weights when you have time!

First of all, congrats to you on reaching your goal!!!!!

I am the same height and have a similar goal weight. I am currently around 108-109, but pre-ED I was between 120-130 pounds.

I know I am "behind" you as far as weight gain goes, but I think mentally I can help you out. First of all, you shouldn't beat yourself up so much! Staying sedentary while gaining weight is usually advised and you made the right choice. A lot of the people on this forum who are still running 5 miles a day are still stuck in their ED rut.

Second, you are probably more harsh on your body than others. 120-122 is still very light for someone your height and age. I was 130 pounds last May before my ED kicked in, and even I was considered "slim" and "attractive" by friends and guys. 

Also, you are only 18. You WILL be able to get in shape. If you have "love handles" (which is probably more your ED trying to beat yourself up--I bet you look amazing!), you CAN tone them up. And you CAN walk/run on the treadmill. But PLEASE don't overdo the exercise, as you don't want to LOSE weight again or get into an obsessive mindset.

But believe me, I was pretty "out of shape" my sophomore year of college (beer and pizza, anyone? haha) and it only took a few weeks of doing light cardio (like 20 mins every other day) combined with yoga and weight training on "off" days for me to see a difference. And I'm 21, aka even older than you! So at 18, you can definitely get in shape and form a HEALTHY relationship with exercise.

Again, I am seriously jealous of the progress you've made, and I can't wait until I am at your weight! Even on bad days where you feel "fat", just remind yourself of how far you've come and how much healthier you are! As women, we are supposed to have a little belly fat to take care of the future babies we might have! haha.

Bodies aren't like light-switches.  It's not a matter of 'click' and you're sick and then 'click' again and you're better.  So reaching the BMI of 20 and being better nourished on an ongoing basis is just the first  extremely important step and now your body has to repair and catch up. 

Yes, your muscle-tone will have deteriorated in the time you were suffering from malnutrition.  And yes, if you've been totally sedentary for a long time then you'll find it a big effort to run for a bus or lift weights.  The answer (ironically, you're going to say) is to keep eating at a slightly higher level and to use the extra energy to get an exercise routine going so that you can build some muscle and tone everything up.

Don't get discouraged.  You're in a much better position than you were before you started.  Good luck

Thanks everyone, for the speed and kindness of your replies<3

I'm not exactly sure when/how I can add an excersize regime into my day. I'm about to go off to university, and will be super busy. Plus, I'm pretty much the most out of shape person EVER right now, and I just don't know how to start a routine that can get me up to the point where I can join a gym or something.

Coco, thanks for your advice! I know that my weight sounds like I'm still at the low end of a healthy BMI, but I swear that I look much much larger than 120. I try my best not to compare myself to my friends, but it's difficult when I'm trying to hide my newfound pot belly, and they are all showing off their perfectly flat stomachs in tight-fitting dresses. Oh lord, I really do sound like the picture of vanity, don't I? I'll admit that while I'm having a tough time loving my body, I do recognize that I am 1000x healthier than the days that I was actively eating disordered.

This is just so frustrating! I spent so long wanting to be at a healthier weight, and now that I'm finally here, my body looks nothing like it did pre-ed when I was at the same weight, AND I'm still not healthy! (no period, hair shedding)

I just wish I could go back in time, and know what I know now...

evolution,

I know you don't want to hear it, but it takes time. You have to convince your pituitary gland that your body is a safe place in which to grow a baby (even though you're not ready for that yet!), so it takes some time. If you don't get it in the next 6 months, talk to your doctor. Many young women need to have a consistent BMI of about 21.5 before they'll get their periods back. It'll happen, and when it does, I think it would do you good to celebrate like mad with some dancing and chocolate ice cream. I can't wait to get mine back.

i dont think i can add anything else , well done im so proud of you , its such an inspiration to see h xx

Hey there,

There are plenty of women out there who have healthy BMI”S and look super fit and toned


Look at the women on “ so you think you can dance”

They are all healthy weights -  but damn, they look GREAT in skin tight clothes!


Now, we all cannot dance all day, however, I definitely know it is possible to develop a toned and firmer body, through regular toning and strength training 2 - 3 times a week.


This can be a simple routine of lunges, squats, triceps dips from a bench or your bed, push ups, and a set of planks, as well as some sit ups.

If you do all those things in from of the TV 2 - 3 days a week, as well as trying to be active for 30 minutes about 5 days a week, than you will be able to change the way your body looks.


If you are at a gym, I highly recommend body pump classes once - twice a week,  as well as a low rep/ higher strength session one day a week.

If not than those exercises I mentioned above can be done in the comfort of your own home, while you watch your fave show on TV,  with no equipment necessary!   Simply use your own body weight.

And no need to go crazy either!   You get results through doing it twice a week.     Do it 3 times if you have extra energy, but other wise there is no need to over do it!


I restored my weight, and went from doing no resistance or toning exercise, to doing it regularly and my body COMPLETELY CHANGED.

I felt much better about myself!

Just a note, Evolution: you'll be going to uni and very busy, but you MUST make time for your health!  You'll have free access to high-quality gym facilities at uni, something that probably won't happen again at any other time in your life.  Take advantage of it!

When I gained my first 25 pounds, I felt like it was all fat as well. I started doing some light weight training and honestly - I feel like I have a different body. I went to the gym, met with a trainer. I do 20 minutes of weights/20 minutes of LIGHT cardio (walking on the treadmill @3.5 - 4 miles an hour) three times a week. I've managed to gain a few more pounds so far and honestly - I look better now, weighing more with more muscle tone, than I did being five pounds lighter with less muscle. It takes a few weeks for weight to begin to redistribute. I actually didn't start the weight training until I had maintained myself over 100 pounds for a month, and even though I gained another 4 pounds in that time, I still saw my weight beginning to shift. I just started myself gaining again about a month ago (am almost to 110 now) and I STILL feel like I look ten times better than I did in May.

Also - it takes time for the actual hunger pangs to start coming back naturally. I've learned I need to pay attention for other signs. Even though I'm not fully WR yet, I am much healthier than I was last summer so my body is kinda screwy. Even though I don't always notice the feeling of hunger, I do notice myself getting chills or having a headache, feeling weak when its gone past a time I should be needing to eat.

As per the condition of your hair - have you been eating a substantial amount of fats? I found that I have to eat much more fat than the average person. I probably get 30-35% of my daily calories from fat, and that seems to have done the trick.  My hair is actually still getting thicker, softer and shinier almost every month. If you were still leaning towards a lower-fat diet while gaining, that would be why your hair hasn't repaired itself. Try swapping a few servings of protein or vegetables for a handful of nuts and a few teaspoons of olive oil or an avocado.