Weightloss Buddy Fail!

Hi Everyone,

To cut a very long story short I had a walking buddy who was supposed to be there to walk with me everyday and such but now she has completely given up on me......She never comes walking with me anymore and she eats really bad. It was more for her sake that she was going to start walking as I already have a routine going (I have already lost 90 pounds through walking and such) and it is just really frustrating that she wont help herself, I feel like I should be doing more to get her motivated to walk again but I have tried so many times! It is like that old say "you can lead a horse to water but you cant make them drink". Am I doing the right thing in just giving up? What else can I do to help her? Thank you everyone!

Bree xx

You can't force anyone to exercise.  Maybe she would be interested in other activities like tennis or some other group sport.  As far as the food thing, maybe have her over for dinner and cook together so she can see how easy it can be to be healthy.  Major congratulations on your weightloss!

Bree, if she's not ready you can't make her and you will probably only alienate her by bringing it up.  My husband and I have been on the healthy path for about 10 months now, but I am more "serious" about it than he is and I've lost about twice as much wieght.  I found that it only makes him angry if I try to "police" what he eats and does, I just try to support him when he makes healthy choices.

Hope that helps!

I have a weighloss buddy just like yours.  I told her about kickboxing and she was pumped, and I was glad to help her bc she is obesely overweight. While I had 30+ pounds to lose and she had 100+ to lose, I thought that we could motivate eachother, even after I lost the weight, I would keep going with her.  Well, I'm down 20 now and she wont even weigh herself. She's clueless as too how bad the food is she eats (as was I 6 months ago) and now she comes to kickboxing once a month (it's only one day a week).  I was taking another class with her called ZUmba bc it was a slower pace that she could keep up with (even though I didn't like it much) so that she would go. Well, she started blowing that off too and I dropped the class and picked up boot camp and told her I needed something more high intensity.  I was there for her, but she wasn't serious about it, but I'm not goiing to let that slow me down.

Forget her. If she doesn't want the help do it for yourself and maybe she'll come around.  If not, that's her problem.

Original Post by nsulacountry:

You can't force anyone to exercise.  Maybe she would be interested in other activities like tennis or some other group sport.  As far as the food thing, maybe have her over for dinner and cook together so she can see how easy it can be to be healthy.  Major congratulations on your weightloss!

Thanks for the congrats! And thank you for your help everyone, I think I will just let her be I have tried so many times to help her she is younger then me so I suppose maturity comes into it. It is just annoying and I had to vent, Sorry!

Congratulations on losing those 90 pounds =D!

Venting makes every little thing easier to bear, doens't it? While you can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink, you CAN lead a horse to something almost as good as water that it WILL drink. Hang out with her. Invite her to go dancing at a party or club or something (party hardy ;P Jump up and move around constantly, no sitting allowed!), or take her to the mall and REFUSE to walk slowly and stay still in one store for longer than about 15 minutes (even if it means you have to go back to the same stores over and over because you saw something you thought you liked the firest time around...I do it :P But just because I can't make decisions.) And when you guys go out to eat, if you get to pick, pick somewhere whith lots of healthy options, or just make sure to order something healthy yourself. Peer pressure just may take its toll...I know if I'm around people who order fattening foods, I feel like they'll make fun of me if I order something healthy. If everyone at my table orders salads, I'm more likely to order one myself.

=P Be the crazy friend who never stops moving. You'll reap a bunch of benefits, too.

Congrats on changing your life for the better.  You are already doing the best thing you can do for her, being a good example.  As everybody has said, you can't
"make" anybody do anything.  We (my support group of friends and family) just lost somebody to a massive heart attack because he just wasn't willing to make any changes for himself.  I even offered him a free treadmill to walk on!  And while Puppyluff's advice is great, it doesn't mean that your friend won't leave that active party or healthy dinner just to binge on cake and ice cream at home.  The fact of the matter is she will do it for herself when she is ready.  And there is always the possibility that she will never be ready.  But, like I said earlier, you are already doing the best thing for both of you by setting a good example.  You can be the proof in the pudding.   Keep up the outstanding work and be a good example to all that know you!