weightloss issues

Thank you for posting your short and long versions.  You have certainly overcome some obstacles in your life, and deserve to pat yourself on the back.  It is a traumatic event being violated by someone you know.  I hope you underwent some therapy. 

There are usually underlying reasons for not wanting to shed weight.  Some people believe it protects them from the harshness of life.  I personally know a woman who believed her weight protedted her from men - she was wrong.  You already know you are eating for reasons other than hunger.  You stated you eat sometimes out of boredom. 

I would venture to say that this is an opportunity to delve inside yourself.  Please visit the library and pick up books by Geneen Roth.  She has a way of writing on the subject that causes you to think of the inner reasons that are hindering you from losing.

If you can (not knowing your benefit situation) try to see a therapist and work through some of the issues.  Find someone you connect with, someone you trust.  A few months of intensive self-examination may yield the root cause. 

Trust yourself.  Believe in yourself.  The answer will come when you are ready to hear it.

Good luck to you.

Thanks fo ryour kind response! I have indeed sought therapy and continue to check in with both my  therapist occasionally as I need it and with my close friends. I will look into the author you suggested!

That is an interesting concept; protective weight. I'm sure that it is a possible factor and I think you are right that answers don't come until the time is right.. I just want to spur it along!

Hi there. I just want to second what patsy said and advise you to come to terms with yourself and learn to love who you are. It seems to me that setting such a strict (maybe evern harsh) weight loss goal for yourself is only hindering your progress and leading to self sabotage.

Just start doing it at your own comfortable pace. No beating yourself up about anything, no self inflicted guilt trips. This is not a punishment, it`s a reward. You want to give yourself the gift of a healthy body and a healthy mind, because you deserve it. Best of luck. :)

I third all of the above.  we have to realize why we do the things we do in order to change our actions. It seems like you have come to terms with things that have happened in your life and that you are now in a happy, safe place. just realizing that is huge. the step to  change your outside is one you also have to do conciously. I try to plan ahead for what I am going to eat, make healthy snacks readily available( lots of carrots, celery and other fresh munchies, ( which you can carry in your purse if need be. believe it or not even apples will keep pretty good all day even if they turn dark they are still good. planning it seems has been the key for me to changing my outlook on eating. If I am going to eat out on a certain day, I plan ahead and eat a little less the couple of days before or after. It is all a balancing act. Balancing all of the facets of our lives is what makes us more rounded happy people.  I am just learning some of these truths and beginning to implement them.  wishing you much happiness in your future... as in any thing the first step is the hardest with eating healthier and changing our habits.

Hello:

I don't think that you will find an easy answer to why you can't or won't lose the weight.

There are so many reasons why a person is overweight. Sometimes its purely physical, sometimes its psychological, sometimes its both. One of the most meaningful things I've ever experienced (an aha moment if you may), was when I listened to a very early Dr. Phil show where he was talking with someone who had put on 80 pounds in a year. His response was that she must have worked really hard to do that.

On the face of it it may seem uncaring, but it resonated with me. My weight has never been about the physical. Like you, I know what to eat and what exercise to do, and when I do it, I have no issue with losing the weight. My problem is keeping it off. And its not because I get bored or I want to eat normally or anything like that. That plays a minority role.

As far as I could remember I've always associated weight with safety, as in if I am heavy I will not get raped. I have no idea where I got that from. Then it was if I'm heavy and people don't like me/talk to me, its because they're fataphobic. It wouldn't be because there was something wrong with me that made them not like me. I've been overweight all of my life. I lost weight at your age, 23 yrs (about 80 pounds). I put it back on by 26 yrs. At first I thought it was because of poor habits caused by studying. Now I believe that I was testing my then boyfriend, to see if he would stay with me if I was heavier. My weight has psychologically protected me for as long as a I could remember. So now I am halfway to my goal. I've lost 61 pounds and have another 62 to go to get to 150, and I hit a psychological plateau that led to binge eating and emotional eating and not following my perfectly wonderful programme that got me here. I will not move until I work out the psychological satisfactorily, because my issue is not physical. Having said that, I'm fighting tooth and nail. I'm not going to wait until I'm psychologically ready to be small. I'm going to create that space where I am small and have to force my mind and fears to do the same. Don't stop trying but have patience with yourself. When you have come to terms, you will find that this journey becomes alot easier. Until then fight the good fight and remind yourself about all that is different from when you put it on in the first place. After all, you have grown so much since then.

I wish you God speed on your journey...